


you belong with me

by sadhorsegirl



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Babies, But theres fluff too, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, High School, Kids, Song Based, Very AU, background Krashlyn, feel free to give prompts, no smut sorry, oneshots, other characters in here, other ships, pls tell me if this is too boring, theres a lot of angst in some of these
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:02:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 84,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27660416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadhorsegirl/pseuds/sadhorsegirl
Summary: oneshots of cp and th :)
Relationships: Ashlyn Harris/Ali Krieger, Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 310
Kudos: 494





	1. finding love in a zoo

Christen emerges from the bathroom stall and runs her hands over her face, effectively wiping any stray tears away. Its five minutes until her 2:00 tour starts and normally she’d be excited for it but just a few moments earlier, her girlfriend of 2 years had ended things. She didn’t know why she felt a little bit heartbroken over it. She knew things were coming to an end when the amount of fights started to increase. Her eyes close as she replays the conversation from a few minutes ago.

Don’t even get me started! You spend too much time at the zoo and taking care of those stupid animals! You give them more attention than you give me nowadays!

Christen responds angrily, “Don’t call them stupid.”

She hears the exasperation in her girlfriend’s voice as she says, “See?! And you don’t even deny it!”

Christen stays silent.

“I think…”

“You think we need to break up.” Christen finishes.

She can see her regretful face from here. “Yes.”

Christen ends the call without saying anymore.

Christen opens her eyes, splashes some water on her face and stands up straight. There, she thought, I’ll get over it in time.

She puts her bucket hat over her frizzy curls and she forces a smile her face as she sees her group waiting for her.

“Hi guys! Sorry for the delay! Let’s get started.”

\------------

Christen finishes her speech about the small birds perched on the trees in a monotone voice. She’s just counting down the minutes until she can head home, curl up on her couch and binge eat ice cream. As she starts to lead her group out from the bird observatory, she feels a tap on her arm.

She turns and meets eyes with a stunning pair of brown eyes. Wordlessly, the admittedly attractive woman hands her a yellow balloon animal in the shape of a giraffe. Christen’s heart fills with the kind gesture. She looks up and a genuine smile overtakes her face as she whispers, “Thank you.”

The woman blushes and smiles back then turns back to greet another customer. Christen takes note of the balloon cart and the bucket of bird feed she must keep around to feed the birds from time to time. (She also takes note of the nametag ‘Tobin’ but pretends she doesn’t.)

\----------

The passing days becomes one of Christen’s favorites. Every time she takes her group to the bird observatory (she does this more than usual, and it might, just might, be intentional) Tobin has a different balloon animal waiting just for her. And she knows it’s just for her because the one time she doesn't rushed her group over to the exhibit, she observed that Tobin makes an animal and puts it behind the bucket of feed. And when one of her co-workers tries to take it to give to another customer, Tobin shoos her off.

Today’s balloon animal was an adorable monkey. Christen’s eyes lit up when Tobin handed it to her and exclaims, “This is my favorite animal!”

Tobin’s eyebrows raise as she answers, “Well, what a coincidence. Took you 6 balloon animals to finally talk to me.”

Christen blushes and ducks her head. She tucks a strand of curly hair behind her ear and murmurs, “I didn’t really know what to say.”

Tobin just smiles back knowingly.

Christen starts to ramble, forgetting her tour group (although they just went off on their own) and she says, “I mean, you are so nice to me and these balloon animals are just so darn cute and you’re SO attractive. Like, really really good looking. And I-“

Christen takes a deep breath and continues, “And that really intimidates me and I have just gotten out of a long term relationship so I wasn’t looking for anything but you’re really making me question myself.”

She closes her eyes and winces. That was a lot of unloading on Tobin. Tobin, the pretty, kind, talented woman who Christen has become infatuated with. She braces herself for the surely surprised response from her.

“Go on a date with me then. Just to see where this will take us.”

_Four years later_

“Sweetheart!”

Christen looks up from where she had been admiring the view of the lions perched on their rocks. She could never really get over the beauty of animals and nature.

“What is it, my love?” Christen questions. She looks curiously as her fiancé attempts to hide something behind her back.

Tobin skips over and places a chaste kiss on her lips. She pulls back excitedly and says, “It’s our four year anniversary!”

Christen smiles fondly, “Of course, the day we met. Seriously, I don’t know how your charm worked so well back then. It seriously downgraded from there.”

Tobin pouts, “Fine, be that way. You won’t get my present then.”

She starts to backpedal out of reach when Christen grabs her beltloop and drags her back. “Whoa, whoa, did you say present?” Her eyes sparkled and she made little grabby hands. “Lemme see, babe.”

Tobin taps Christen’s nose and says, “Hmm… I don’t know, you weren’t being very nice a few minutes ago.”

Christen rolls her eyes and stays silent. After a few minutes, she gives and says, “I’m sorry, love. I thought it was pretty funny.”

Tobin smiles and exclaims, “It was, not going to lie.”

They stand there smiling at each other, not wanting to break eye contact. Tobin looks down, grabs Christen’s left hand, and places the smallest of kisses on her diamond ring. “This looks so good on you, baby.”

Christen cups Tobin’s face and murmurs, “I know. I can’t wait till I marry you.”

Tobin nods lovingly and pulls the present from behind her back. In her outstretched hand was a yellow balloon giraffe, just like the one from four year ago.


	2. keep everybody out but you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christen doesn't like people. she doesn't like anybody but a certain brown-eyed brunette  
> SORRY I MEANT TO PUT TW: nothing graphic at all, just some subtle events leading up to something that never happens

Christen doesn’t like people. She’s 16 years old and has high walls built around her because she doesn’t like being seen as weak or helpless. Both boys and girls have approached her on numerous occasions only to be shot down. Her parents often question how she could ever be happy if she never lets people in. However, she doesn’t see the need to look for significant other. Christen is popular, with many admirers from afar. She was pretty no doubt, with several tattoos on her arms, dark curly hair, and a body to die for. She has all the attention she needs because she has her small (like really small) group of friends and her dogs. What else does she possibly need?

Christen was content with her life until she met Tobin Heath. Suddenly, the attention from her peers and friends didn’t compare to the lively brunette that has lightened up her life.

Gorgeous Tobin, who came stumbling into her life with the brightest brown eyes and biggest smile. Generous Tobin, who offered to give Christen her lunch money just so she could buy some Oreos from the vending machine. Sweet Tobin who never failed to make her laugh or smile.

At first, Christen was so taken aback on how perfect she was, that her walls came up even higher around Tobin. Her bad attitude and sometimes harsh words (which Christen regrets immediately) never fazed Tobin. She always saw the good in everybody, which was one of the traits that made Christen start to fall in love with her. Christen thinks back to the day she realized she was slowly becoming infatuated to the brunette.

_It was Valentine’s Day. Every year to Christen, it’s just another day. She’s never had anything to look forward to, just the obligatory gifts from her friends and the kisses from her dogs. However, today there’s a sense of longing in her that she can’t explain. That feeling eats away at her as she sees couples in her school trading hugs and kisses and Valentines. Christen is considering skipping school when she hears her name being called out._

_“Chris! Wait up!”_

_Christen’s face breaks out into what her friends call, the “Tobin Smile”. She barely manages to catch the flying girl as Tobin launches herself at her. Christen sets Tobin down and gestures, “Tobs, come on. Is it really necessary to be having this much energy this early in the morning?”_

_Tobin giggles and it’s music to Christen’s ears, “No, silly. You know me, I don’t ever have this much energy unless it’s a holiday!”_

_Christen rolls her eyes fondly and replies, “Valentine’s day isn’t a holiday, T. It…”_

_Christen’s voice falters as she watches Tobin pull out a messily iced cookie that’s shaped like a… lion?_

_Christen bursts out laughing, “Wait, Tobs, is that a lion or a ball of fire? I honestly can’t tell.”_

_Tobin pouts and huffs, “I tried my best okay. I literally had to throw away so many batches of cookies because they were so ugly.”_

_Christen’s heart warms at the thought of Tobin spending time to make her a cookie (she later denies that to herself) and replies, “Oh, T, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that, I just…” she sucks her lip in to try to keep from laughing, “It’s so cute. Thank you.”_

_Tobin breaks into an easy grin, “No problem, Chrissy.”_

_Before Christen can swat her arm (she hates that nickname) Tobin envelopes her in a hug. Christen buries her nose into the crook of Tobin’s neck and inhales her sweet fragrance._

_Tobin starts to say something but Christen beats her to it, saying, “You’re the greatest friend ever.”_

_Christen couldn’t see Tobin’s face fall the slightest bit and doesn’t notice how her arms go a little bit slack around her. Christen pulls back to see the bright sparkle in Tobin’s eye gone and she frowns. “You okay, T?”_

_Tobin forces a smile on her face and shakes her head, “Yeah, yeah, sorry CP. I just remembered I had to get to class soon. I’ll see you later though, right?”_

_Christen nods, “Of course! See you.”_

_Tobin surprises them both when she takes Christen’s hand and places the gentlest of kisses on her fingertips. She pulls back and walks away without looking back._

_Christen takes her fingers that Tobin had just kissed and presses it to her face. She feels the sudden fire stirring in her and heat in her cheeks as she realizes, “I’m in love with Tobin Heath.” She grins, “Who would’ve ever thought…?”_

Christen snaps out of her daydream as she hears her favorite voice call out. However, instead of Tobin calling for her, she’s calling for… Michael Smith? Christen watches as Michael bounds up to her and…

 _“Whoa! That’s a little too close! What is she doing?”_ Christen thinks. She feels her heart drop as Michael places a small kiss on Tobin’s cheek.

Christen can’t explain the sickness she suddenly feels in her stomach. It’s a burning sensation all around her lungs and heart. Her face pulls and Christen can’t pinpoint what this new feeling is. Her eyes start to blur with the tears that are threatening to spill over. She pivots around and storms away, not catching the misty brown eyes that follow her.

\----------

Christen has started to avoid Tobin, dodging her in the hallways and not making eye contact with her when she does see her. She thinks that with time, she could get over her feelings for her best friend and let Tobin be happy with Michael. Christen has the ignore the ache that grows in her chest everytime she sees the bright brown eyes she loves so much directed to another person. (Although, if Christen hadn’t been avoiding Tobin so much, she would see that Tobin’s eyes doesn’t sparkle as much, almost like the light in her eyes is slowly starting to fade.)

One day when she sees Tobin and Michael cuddling on one of the bleachers during gym class, Christen decides she needs a smoke. She steps behind the building, secluded from the curious eyes, and lights up one of her “emergency” cigarettes. She has only a few minutes of peace when she hears footsteps approaching. She’s about to snap at the newcomers to go somewhere else when she hears Tobin’s broken voice.

“I just-“

“What? Are you saying you don’t want this?” a deep voice asks.

Christen immediately recognizes that the deeper voice is Michael’s. She hides in a corner and listens to the conversation.

“I’m not sure I’m ready.”

Michael scoffs, “You can’t be serious. I thought you cared about me.”

“I…” Tobin whispers. Christen tenses as she hears the sudden fear in Tobin’s voice. She’s about to intervene when she hears Tobin gasp, “What… what are you doing?”

“You know you want this.”

“No! No, stop. Please…” Tobin begs.

Tobin’s eyes are closed as she tries to push the boy off of her. She tries to curl into herself when she feels the heavy weight suddenly leave. Her eyes shoot open and she gasps as Christen pounces on him, pummeling her fists into his face.

Christen sees red. She thinks of nothing else as she beats on the boy who tried to force himself on Tobin. Sweet, gentle Tobin who didn’t deserve it. Her knuckles start to split and after a few seconds, she feels hands pulling her off and shoving her away. Her breaths comes out uneven and choppy this son of a… I’ll kill him.

She doesn’t see the hoard of boys crowding around Michael, who was laying on the ground (what a pussy) as she storms away. She makes it halfway across the football field when she feels soft hands yanking her back.

Christen turns around and sees Tobin looking back at her fearfully. Her face softens and she takes one of her hands and caresses Tobin’s cheek. She scans over Tobin’s perfect face (seriously, it kind of hurts) and asks, “Are you hurt?”

Tobin shakes her head, still shocked from the scene. “I… thank you. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t there.”

Christen clenches her jaw, “I don’t even want to think about that. Come on, let’s go to my house. I don’t think you want to be alone after that.”

\---------

The ride to Christen’s house is silent and awkward. Tobin fiddles with a pencil until she feels Christen’s soft hands interlace with hers. She blushes and they both try to ignore the feeling of just how right that felt. When they arrive at Christen’s house, Christen makes a move to leave the car when Tobin pulls her back gently.

“Chris?” Christen hums, not looking at Tobin. “Why is this the first time you’ve talked to me in weeks? I’ve missed my best friend.”

Internally, Christen winces. Tobin must’ve seen the grimace on her face and squeezes her hand softly. “Please tell me what I did.”

Christen sighs, “You did nothing, I swear. It’s just…”

Tobin squeezes her hand, encouraging her. Christen makes the mistake of looking over at earnest brown eyes and finally says, “I found out something.” Tobin’s eyebrows raise but stays silent. “I found out…” she takes a second to muster up her courage. She knows she must look like a complete fool right now, messy hair, split knuckles. “I found out how much I was in love with you.”

Tobin sucks in a breath. Christen winces and thinks _that’s it. I’ve ruined everything. How do I recover from this? Run? Yeah, run Christen. Go-_

The escape plan that was formulating in her head halts as she feels soft lips that she has been dreaming about for so long on her lips. All plans go out the window as she takes the hand that’s not holding Tobin’s and cups her face. Their lips move slowly, timidly, almost like they were afraid to scare each other off with the sudden passion they felt for one another. Tobin finally pulls back to take a breath and gives Christen the softest of smiles that says, “I love you too” and “Will you be mine?” all in one. (Christen gazes into Tobin’s bright and loving eyes and doesn’t realize how much she’s missed Tobin until now.) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i canNOT believe i accidentally deleted this. AHHH please leave comments or kudos. it would mean so much


	3. win-win situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christen is a popular cheerleader and tobin is just a band nerd. one would never think they would ever be together, but life works in mysterious ways

Tobin fidgets with the edge of her sweater as she waits for her girlfriend to answer the door. Even though she’s been here a thousand times, something about her girlfriend makes her nervous. Maybe it’s the fact she is a popular cheerleader with straight A’s and a rocking body. Tobin knows she doesn’t even compare being in band and a bum in school (although she does have a knack for painting). She rocks on the back of her heels, lost in her thoughts, and the front door opens, revealing a stunning brunette with bright green eyes and a big grin.

“Baby!” Christen squeals as she rushes forward and wraps Tobin in a bear hug. “I missed you. Today went by so slow, I was literally counting the minutes till I got to see you.”

Tobin smiles adoringly and rocks side to side with the smaller girl in her arms. “I missed you more, love.” She whispered. Christen pulls back and pulls Tobin into a heartfelt kiss, eyes fluttering close as she thinks _I’m so lucky…_

Christen breaks the kiss and tugs Tobin inside, “I heated up some pizza rolls, your favorite!” Tobin grins widely and groans, “Thank you! I’m literally starving. I haven’t eaten since lunch!”

Christen giggles, “Tobs, honey that was only a couple hours ago. Although, I seriously don’t understand how you can eat so much and still look oh so sexy.” Tobin ducks her head and blushes, even after almost half a year of dating, she wasn’t used to her girlfriend’s forwardness.

In fact, she still isn’t used to seeing Christen like this. It’s almost like Christen has an on and off switch. At school, she’s tough and intimidating, and doesn’t involve in much social interaction, which makes everyone adore her all the more (the way she acts, Tobin can’t believe she’s a cheerleader). But whenever she’s with Tobin, her personality does a full 180. She lights up, has more bounce in her movements, and overall just more happiness radiating from her.

_“Chris?” Tobin says (or tries to with Christen’s curly hair all in her face)._

_“Hmm?” Christen hums from her spot on Tobin’s chest._

_“How come you act so different around your friends? You’re so sweet and fun and nice whenever you’re around me but when you’re at school, you just become sullen and tense. I’ve been noticing it for a while.”_

_She feels Christen take a deep breath. Tobin continues, “I mean, is there a reason for that? Is it the same as the reason why you don’t want to go public with our relationship?”_

_“Oh, honey…” Christen sighs, “It’s complicated.”_

_Tobin shakes her head, “No, talk to me. You know you can.”_

_“I feel like if I wasn’t so popular or sought-after, I wouldn’t act that way. But I feel like everybody that tries to be my friend is just using me to gain popularity. I feel like I have to act a certain way to fit in and most of my ‘friends’ are toxic. I know that they just want to hang out with me because all the boys want to date me. And I just couldn’t fake being happy as their friends when I’m really not. They still try from time to time to ‘hang out’ but I’m done with that. But…” her voices trails off and becomes almost dream-like, “You, baby, make me so happy. You like me for me, not for my social status and good looks.”_

_Tobin smirks and interjects, “I mean, good looks take up a portion in the reasons why I like you.”_

_Christen smacks her thigh and continues, “You’re always so genuine, thoughtful, and kind. And talented with the trumpet and painting! You just mean more to me than anybody else and I appreciate you so much. That’s why I act differently around you than the others.”_

_Tobin pulls Christen up and give her a deep kiss. “You might’ve just inflated my ego 10x.”_

_“Shut up.”_

Christen breaks her out of her thoughts, saying, “And I also don’t know how you could even like pizza rolls! They’re so nasty and fake!”

Tobin gasps, “Don’t talk to me ever again.” She sprints to the kitchen to get the pizza rolls and dig in. Christen laughs and follows behind, taking in her girlfriend’s beautiful figure. Christen slowly scans how the skinny jeans fit perfectly on Tobin’s legs, how it fits nicely around her butt and hangs low on her hips. Her eyes travel up to the black sweater that says ‘let your soul guide your way’ (she swears she didn’t steal it from Christen) all the way up to her face. With Tobin plowing through the pizza rolls, her large circular glasses start to slip down her nose and she scrunches her nose to keep it in place. Christen comes up in front of Tobin and pushes her glasses up for her.

“Thanks babe.” Tobin mumbles around a mouthful.

“I’ll go find a movie for us to watch, okay? When you get done eating, just come up to my room.”

Tobin nods. Her attention turns back to the food as she stuffs down the final roll. She washes the dish and makes her way upstairs. Halfway up, she tilts her head curiously. _Why am I not hearing anything?_ Tobin goes into Christen’s room and stops in her tracks.

Christen is almost naked, just laying on the bed with a matching set of sheer black lace underwear and bra. She smirks as she watches big doe eyes rake up and down her body. She crooks her finger, motioning for Tobin to join her, and who is Tobin to not comply? Tobin shuffles to the bed, still awed of Christen’s beauty, sits on the edge and just takes her all in.

“You’re beautiful…”

Christen looks at her through hooded eyes, sits up, and climbs onto Tobin’s lap. She fists her hands through Tobin’s sweatshirt and kisses her slowly and sensually.

\------------

“It’s game day, Christen! Get pumped!” Alex Morgan screams in her ear.

Christen flinches away and forces a smile, “Yeah, I’m excited!” Christen was not the biggest fan of Alex Morgan. Whether it be that she’s fairly good looking or she be a good cheerleader, Christen doesn’t really care. What she does care about, is Alex not so subtly flirting with Tobin. Whenever she’s not with Tobin, it always seemed like Alex was hanging around her like a monkey to a tree. It always looked like Alex was trying to make a move on her but whenever Christen complains about it to Tobin, she assures her that they were just friends and Christen says she’ll let it go (but she doesn’t).

The stadium is loud, with almost the entire county coming to watch. It was a big rival game between the two schools and as much as she feels excited about cheering in front of such a large crowd, Christen cannot wait to go home and cuddle with Tobin. She’s been missing her girlfriend all day because Tobin had to go to the doctor’s office during the only class period they had together. Her green eyes scan the band section until they fall onto the lanky brunette wearing black overalls, collared shirt, and a trumpet. Her eyes are squinted, fixing something on her trumpet, and her glasses start to slip halfway down her nose. She pushes it up and Christen wonders if anything could be cuter than her girlfriend at the moment. Before she could daydream anymore, her attention was turned away to the game, and she got her pom-poms ready.

\---------------

The game was a close one. They were tied and in the last five minutes of the fourth quarter, their wide receiver intercepted a pass from the other team and ran the whole length of the field for another touchdown. The crowd goes wild and Christen screams at the top of her lungs. Her competitiveness was evident as she was the only cheerleader who really understood what just happened. She leapt with glee and the other cheerleaders quickly followed her lead.

The crowd started to file out 20 minutes later and the football players made their way over the cheerleaders. Christen would leave to find Tobin but remembers she has to help the band teacher clean up the equipment. So she made small talk with one of the friendlier guys when she feels an unfamiliar pair of eyes staring at her side profile. She turns and catches the eyes of the receiver who had won the game for them. She decides to be friendly, seeing that he wasn’t going to make the first move.

“Hey, great interception! And even better touchdown. You really saved this game for us.” She smiles.

He stared at her, entranced. Christen starts to feel uneasy. She hates when anybody but Tobin stared at her because they made her feel objectified. She could practically hear him thinking about how to convince her to come home with him. She pivots and speed walks away from him and is about to rejoin the cheerleader group when she sees Tobin was still dressed in her adorable uniform and her glasses looked slightly lopsided and her baby hairs escaping her ponytail. She starts to turn to make her way over to her girlfriend when she sees Alex Morgan stride over to Tobin.

 _What the…?_ Christen stands still and watches as Alex finishes her walk over there and gets in Tobin’s personal space. She hears the cheerleaders’ and football players’ hoots of encouragement, no doubt egging the two on. _Oh hell no..._ Christen thinks. She watches in dismay as Alex makes talk with Tobin who seems to be responding to her easily. _Get a grip, Christen. Tobin says they’re just friends. Let her talk real quick and you can go home and cuddle the crap out of her._ Christen seems to make peace with the situation until she sees Alex run her long fingers up and down Tobin’s toned arms. She can see the sultry look Alex is giving Tobin and Tobin is just oblivious as always. _Okay, time to intervene._

Christen swiftly makes her way over to the two and watches as Tobin’s eyes light up. She seems to want to give Christen any form of physical affection but then hesitates, not sure if Christen will be comfortable with it. Tobin decides on, “Hey Christen! Great game tonight.”

Christen smiles sweetly back and surprises Tobin by pulling her into a hug. “Thanks. You did great in your band performance.”

Tobin blushes and Christen pulls back but leaves an arm around Tobin’s waist. It’s a possessive gesture and anybody looking on would assume not to mess with Tobin. She leans her head on Tobin’s shoulder and wraps her other arm around Tobin’s stomach. She sees Alex eyeing them, analyzing every move as she says, “I didn’t know you two were friends.”

Christen smirks, “Oh yeah, we’ve been friends for a while now. We were just about to head out and hang for a bit. I’m sure you don’t mind.”

Tobin blushes and opens her mouth to confirm it when Alex speaks, “Oh okay, it’s no problem. I just wanted to ask Tobin on a date with me. We could go to the movies and –“

Christen brings her hand up to Tobin’s face, cups her jaw, and pulls her into a sweet, sweet, kiss. She barely the screams and shouts of approval and surprise from their audience (Christen forgot they were even there) too lost in the feeling of her girlfriend’s lips. She deepens the kiss, pushing her tongue into Tobin’s mouth, who complies happily. (Christen may, just may, be putting on a bit of a show to show Alex that Tobin was hers). Christen breaks the kiss, swipes Tobin’s lips with her thumb and sucks on it. She turns to Alex who was gaping at them and grins, “Sorry, she’s taken.”

And with that, she pulls her stunned girlfriend across the field and to the parking lot. She gets into her BMW and waits for Tobin to slowly lower herself into the passenger seat. Christen pulls out of the parking lot and starts the ride home, humming to a soft song that was playing over the radio.

“What was that?” her girlfriend finally found her voice, “I thought you wanted to keep this relationship secret.”

Christen shrugs, “Had to let them know you’re mine. Also, now the boys can stop trying to ask me out. It’s a win-win situation.”

Tobin laughs loudly and grabs Christen’s hand. She kisses it softly and says, “I think I might love you.”

“Me too, love. Me too.”

….

“Wanna get burgers?”

"You don't gotta ask me twice"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos appreciated :)


	4. i wanted a latte, but this'll have to do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christen is a barista at the local coffee shop and tobin is just the girl who flirts with everybody there.

Christen lifts her eyes to the door of the coffee shop as she hears the bell ring. She’s taken aback, not expecting the other-worldly good looks from the brunette. Christen rakes her eyes up and down the newcomer, taking in her plain white tee, ripped black jeans that hugged her legs perfectly, messy brown hair, and the ugliest snapback she’s ever seen. The girl struts up to one of Christen’s baristas and starts flirt. Christen rolls her eyes when she sees Sophia get flustered and shy and turns her attention back to the iced coffee she was making.

“I have order 615, a plain iced coffee?” She inquires to the pickup station and an elderly man walks over to take the drink and thanks her. She turns back to the register when she notices the brunette eyeing her. Christen ignores her and takes a few more orders until finally she speaks up, “What do you want?”

The brunette smiles and responds easily, “Oh nothing, was just admiring how beautiful you are.”

Christen rolls her eyes and waves her off. She hears Sophia trying to get the girl’s attention back but fails as the girl continues, “I’m Tobin, by the way.”

Christen nods and says curtly, “Christen. Look are you here to get something or not, because you’re holding up the line.”

Tobin shrugs and replies, “I could go for a latte right now, I guess.”

Christen types on her register, “Okay, small, medium, or large?”

“I like ‘em all the same.”

Christen groans, “Seriously, answer the question.”

“Fine, medium.”

….

“Please.”

Christen smirks, “Finally, a girl with manners.” She takes Tobin’s money turns to start making the latte. She feels eyes on the roundness of her backside, “Stop staring, Tobin. It’s rude.”

Tobin shrugs, “I can’t help it.”

Christen sighs and turns back around with Tobin’s latte. “Here you go, now be on your way.”

“Okay, sweetheart, I’ll be sure to come back.” Tobin smirks as she takes the latte. She then grasps Christen’s hand and leaves a gentle kiss on her fingertips.

Tobin leaves without another word and Christen stands stunned behind the counter. She ignores Sophia’s glare as she tries to stifle the smile that was making its way on her face.

\----------

Christen tries to forget about her. The following days, and no sign of Tobin. She tries to swallow the hurt she felt but thinks it’s for the best.

It’s a cool Tuesday morning, and surprisingly business is really slow. Christen lets Lindsey take over for a few hours because she was falling behind in some of her classwork. She has her laptop, coffee, and her airpods as she sits comfortably and writes her essay. She’s lost in the world of Shakespeare when she feels someone tap her shoulder. Christen looks up, startled, and relaxes when she sees it’s Lindsey.

“What’s up Linds?”

“Uh, I don’t mean to bother you, but there’s a certain someone asking for you. She won’t let any of us take her order.” Lindsey says with a slight roll of her eyes.

Christen groans as she gets up, “Who the…” She trails off when she sees Tobin rocking on her heels, looking totally chill and adorable at the same time.

“So you really had to get me off my schoolwork just for coffee?” Christen snaps as she approaches the register.

Tobin grins and smiles easily, “I wanted to see you again.” She rubs the back of her neck and suddenly takes great interest in the paintings behind her. Christen takes advantage of the silence to look her fill. Tobin was wearing a beanie this time, sweatpants, some awesome Nike’s (they look to be the one the more expensive ones) a hoodie, and glasses.

Christen sighs out in annoyance and speaks in a monotone voice, “What can I do for you?”

“I would like another caramel latte and a… what’s your favorite muffin?”

Christen blinks in surprise, “Uh, a banana muffin? What does even have to do with- anyways, is that all?”

“Yeah, just a caramel latte and a banana muffin.” Tobin pulls out her wallet to pay.

Christen types her order in the register, takes Tobin’s money, and heads to the coffee machines to make the latte. With her back turned, she doesn’t catch Tobin studying her, analyzing every curve and shape of her body. A few minutes later, she pushes a bag and a latte towards the waiting girl. “Here’s your banana muffin and caramel latte.”

Tobin surprises Christen by pushing the muffin back. “Here you go.”

Christen scrunches her nose in confusion (Tobin thinks it’s the most adorable thing) and says, “You ordered and paid for it. It’s yours.”

Tobin shakes her head and starts to back away, “No, I ordered and paid for it so I could give it to you.”

Christen can’t help but smile at the gesture, “You know I can get one for free if I wanted one, right?”

Tobin shrugs and says, “Have a nice day. Enjoy your muffin.” And with that, she leaves the shop.

When Christen sits back down to do her work, she tries to hide her infatuated smile behind the muffin, but Lindsey still catches it. And little does she know, Tobin is sitting in her car with the same smile plastered on her face. They both dream of each other when they go to sleep that night.

\-----------

“Okay Tobin, what’s your problem?” Kelley inquires as she pushes Tobin into a bathroom.

“What do you mean?” Tobin plays dumb as she tries to push past Kelley.

Kelley heaves a sigh and says, “That was the fourth girl you’ve turned down tonight. The Tobin I know wouldn’t even have let the first girl get away. What’s wrong?”

Tobin forces a smile and shrugs, “I just don’t feel like it tonight.”

Kelley sees right past her act, “Or any other night for the past two weeks for that matter.”

Tobin’s shoulders sag, “There’s this girl,” she confesses. “We aren’t seeing each other or anything. In fact, I’ve seen her a total of three times. But there’s just something about her, Kell, she just draws me in.”

Kelley eyes her curiously, “When have you seen her? Is it that hot coffee girl chick that Ashlyn mentioned a while ago?”

Tobin smiles wistfully, “Yeah, Christen. That’s the one.”

Kelley can’t help but pry, “But I thought you’ve only been there twice? When was the third time?”

“Remember that chemistry class I was in for just day before the counselors changed my schedule?” Kelley nods. “Well, I don’t remember much from that day, but what I do remember is seeing the most stunning girl I have ever seen. She was gorgeous and frankly brilliant, answering most of the questions. I remember everybody calling her a suckup and a tryhard but all I could think of was she’s really something else. She never noticed me, too invested in some random formula and before I could get the courage to speak to her, my schedule changed and I never saw her again.”

Tobin finishes her trip down memory lane with glassy eyes. Kelley stares at her for a second and then bursts out laughing. Tobin grumbles and mutters something about “this is why I don’t tell you things” when Kelley all but shouts, “You LIKE her! I thought I would never see the day when Tobin Heath actually keeps her interest in a girl for more than a few hours.” Tobin groans and Kelley continues, “You’re growing up. You’re like a baby bird flying from the nest.”

Tobin pushes past Kelley, pouting and Kelley exclaims, “No wait! Tobin! Let me serious for a sec.” She reluctantly stops and gives Kelley her attention. Kelley continues, “You really are growing up. And if you really think you like her, shoot your shot! There’s no way she doesn’t feel the same about you.”

Tobin agrees, “I need to make my move before anybody else does.”

\-----------

It’s a week later before Tobin makes good on her promise. Every time she went to the coffee shop, she would stop at the parking lot, contemplate things, and hightail out of there before anyone could see. She just couldn’t work up the courage to ask out the green eyed beauty.

In the meantime, Christen would look up at the door everytime the bell rang and her heart fell a little bit more each time it wasn’t Tobin. She sometimes swore she saw Tobin in the parking lot somedays but before she could get a closer look, the driver would quickly leave.

It’s finally Thursday morning, when Tobin decides this was going to be the day. She dresses in her nicest jeans, flannel shirt, a black beanie, and Air Force 1’s. When she finally gets to the parking lot, Tobin wipes her sweaty hands on her jeans and grabs the bouquet of flowers she had bought earlier (it reminded Tobin of Christen’s eyes). She recites in her head, _Okay, okay Tobin. All you have to do is turn on some charm and smoothly ask her ‘Hey you. If you aren’t doing anything this weekend, I was hoping you would go out with me’ that’s perfect. Yeah, totally._ She exits her car and makes her way through the shop. Tobin scans for Christen and sees her curly hair poking out on top of the coffee machines. She grins and starts a beeline for her when she stops dead in her tracks.

There’s a strange man leaning over the counter, seemingly in Christen’s space. He seems to be putting it on very thick with the flirting and Tobin notes his gel-slicked hair and mousy mustache. _Gag me, how do women even like men who look like that_ Tobin thinks. She takes in Christen’s appearance. She looked as beautiful as always but Tobin notes that she’s tense, most likely not comfortable with the strange man.

Tobin isn’t known for thinking straight. She’s known for being impulsive and spontaneous. So, she’s clearly not thinking straight when she walks straight into the pickup station, not noticing Christen’s eyes lighting up at the sight of her and then quickly turning into confusion when Tobin makes her way into the employees area. Christen’s eyes widen as Tobin storms up to her, grabs her face, and kisses her roughly.

The kiss seems to clear Tobin’s jealous mind as she suddenly backs away, apology forming on her lips when Christen pulls her back into a deep kiss. Tobin drops the flowers and hooks her arms around Christen’s slim waist. Christen (conveniently forgetting she’s at work) threads her long fingers through Tobin’s hair and plays with it. They eventually pull back, the man who was trying to pick Christen up long gone, and rest their foreheads against each other.

“I hate to break this moment, but I’ve gotta get back to work” Christen whispers apologetically.

Tobin kisses her nose and pulls away, smiling at the disappointed sigh Christen let out when she moved out of her arms. “It’s cool. I just wanted to know that if you aren’t doing anything this weekend, would you want to go on a date with me?”

Christen blushes, “Of course I do.”

Tobin grins, “Okay.” She bends down to pick up the fallen flowers and a sticky note, and places them in Christen’s hand. “My number is right there, so shoot me a text.”

Christen nods and Tobin can’t resist as she pulls Christen in for one more kiss. It’s short and Tobin pulls away once more, winks, and exits the shop. (Christen holds the flowers over her heart with a dreamlike smile and ignores the hoots of approval from Lindsey.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys dont even understand how mad i am that i accidentally deleted my work. please please give feedback or kudos. it'll help me destress


	5. i don't love her like i love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tobin is good at pretending things are okay. until one day she can't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was 100% inspired by one of guitarist17's fics. they never completed it and i just wanted to take it and give it a little twist. all credits to to them. (this a personal favorite for me)

Tobin is good at pretending everything is okay. She is great at it actually.

Unfortunately everyone has their moments of weakness, and tonight Tobin can’t look at her in the eyes.

“Are you alright?” The sweet loving voice that has been lulling her for the past year questions from across the dinner table. “You’ve been quiet all night.”

Tobin forces herself to look up and offers her best fake smile to her girlfriend. “Yes, I’m perfect. Just a little tired is all. I’m sorry if I was boring tonight,” she genuinely apologizes, passing her hand in her hair before standing up to take their dishes in the kitchen.

“You’re never boring babe,” the sweet voice follows her.

“To you maybe, I’m sure other people would disagree,” Tobin chuckles, putting down their plates in the sink. She starts to wash them when she feels the warmth of a body being pressed against her back. It makes her suck in a breath and she swallows audibly.

“But I’m the only one that matters right?” The puff of hot air against the back of her neck sends a chill down her spine, but not the kind of chill Tobin would want it to be. The feeling of panic invade her body she shuts her eyes tightly, praying to quickly find an escape out of this situation.

“Right?” Lips caress the skin of her neck with the whispered word and Tobin grips the kitchen counter hard, her knuckles whitening.

“Of course,” she lets out with a small, shaky voice. “You know it.”

“Hmmm… I do,” a cold nose is pressed on her skin making the little hairs of her neck raise, all for the wrong reasons again.

“I have an article to finish for Becky. She needs it first thing in the morning if we want it to be in Wednesday paper,” Tobin mumbles hurridly, trying to push the body off of her as gently as she can.

“Oh come on, can’t you deal with it after?” Any other she would have convinced Tobin to ditch her work and head straight to bed, but today the thought of it just makes her feel worse.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to stop and go work if we start,” she tries to joke, a small giggle letting her know that she succeeded.

“Alright… There’s always tomorrow.”

Relief washes over Tobin. She finishes the dishes up and turns to her girlfriend.

“Go to bed. It shouldn’t take long,” she rasps, making her way toward her study.

“I’ll wait for you.”

Tobin clenches her jaw at the adoration filling the words, guilt making her stomach jump as she responds as sweetly as she can.

“It’s not necessary.”

“I’ll see if I’m tired or not. And just in case I don’t see you until tomorrow...” Tobin watches with her jaw still clenched as her girlfriend jogs toward her with a smile to kiss her . “I love you.”

Tobin’s throat tightens, just the way it did the first time she heard those same words. She feels like she can’t breathe as she tries to find her voice. The tremble in her voice as she returns the words doesn’t have the same meaning as it did earlier that day.

“I love you too.”

**

In the safety of her study Tobin paces from a wall to another, her breaths shaky as tears start to fill her eyes, her mind feeling like it is going a million miles an hour. Seeing a picture and that name in the newspaper, that’s all it took to rock Tobin’s world. She thought she was over it. She thought she had left that face and that name behind. She thought they didn’t mean anything to her anymore.

However the feeling that has settled in the pit of her stomach since she saw the article indicates her that she was wrong all along.

She considers calling somebody, anybody, for help and comfort but a quick look to her watch tells her that they all must be asleep.

Tobin knows it would be useless anyway. She’s never been good at expressing her feelings through verbal words. How are they supposed to help her if she can’t even tell them what is wrong with her?

The only way she’s ever found to be completely honest and to express her feelings is writing.

Stopping dead in her tracks she stares at her desk where pens and white sheets of paper are waiting to be used. In what feels forever as she contemplates whether or not this was a good idea, she is sitting at her desk, a pen in her hand and a sheet of paper waiting to be darkened.

Taking a big breath she grips her pen harder and cracks her neck before scratching the paper with her messy handwriting.

_~~My Dear,~~ _

_Hello,_

_It has been a while, hasn’t it? Or do you not realize it?_

_I would ask how you are doing, how is your life, if you miss me, but that is not the point of this letter._

_Days are passing and I still don’t understand. I’m counting every minute that separate me from you. Like a sadomasochist or like I’m my own prisoner. I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m still counting. But I am. It is so hard to live with it._

_It’s been more than a year since she saved me from you. More than a year. I can’t believe how fast time is going. And I can’t believe she is still by my side._

_I often wonder where I would be, who I would be, if we were still together._

_I often wonder where you are, what you are doing, who you love._

_I need to know if you have moved on in your life._

She feels tears start to make it’s way down her face. She turns around in her chair and wipes her eyes. She closes her eyes starts to count in her head and to make her breaths slow down.

After a few seconds she feels calmer and so she grabs her pen again and picks up where she left off.

_Well you obviously have. I saw your picture in the magazine, getting some award for your law firm. You must’ve chased your dreams to pursue a career in law. I'm proud of you._

_You know I changed my number. I even moved out. I made sure that you couldn’t contact me anymore._

_I threw out all your clothes, all your letters, all our pictures. I threw out everything that reminded me of you. I didn’t have much left at the end._

_I’ve put on a mask, pretending that you don’t affect me anymore. That I don’t hurt when I think of what we had. I make sure everyone thinks I am strong. But deep down I’ve kept everything. Everything that you left behind, the good and the bad. I still have it in me and it still tears me in half when I think of it. It still tears me in half when I remember how much you loved me._

A drop falls on the paper startling Tobin and she’s quick to wipe her face with the back of her hand.

“Come on Tobin, you can do this,” she mutters, massaging her forehead. She knows that since she’s started, she can’t stop. She can’t stop until she’s put every thought and feeling on paper.

_I try to forget you with someone else. I try to cure myself with someone else._

_She tries to right your wrongs you know. She really tries. And she is so perfect. And for her I’m trying to give her what she deserves._

~~_I’m trying but I’m not able to_ ~~

~~_I’m trying but if I’m completely honest I don’t want to_ ~~

_I’m trying but I can’t. I don’t love her like I love you._

As she manages to read her last sentence Tobin lets out a small strangled sob. She thinks she has always known, but seeing it written in black and white makes it all real.

Needing a break she quietly opens the door of her study and shuffles to the kitchen without turning the lights on. She drinks a glass of water in one gulp and presses her forehead on the cold kitchen wall, trying to calm her thoughts.

She knows the letter is going to change everything but she needs to finish it. She won’t be able to live with herself otherwise.

When she walked passed her bedroom door a few minutes ago she hadn’t noticed that it was slightly open. She takes a peep through the door to make sure everything is okay, seeing her girlfriend sleeping.

Her bedside lamp is still on and a book is open on her chest as she must have fallen asleep reading it. Tobin tiptoes to her side and carefully puts the book on the nightstand. In her sleep the other woman reaches for Tobin’s shirt, clenching it before letting go with a small sigh.

“Sleep,” she groans. Tobin grimaces before she turns off the light.

As she reaches the bedroom door Tobin takes a last look in the room, tasting the guilt on her tongue as she murmurs in the dark.

“I am so sorry.”

It doesn’t take long for her to face her letter again.

“Let’s get this over with,” she murmurs to herself, ready to be invaded by the feelings she tried to bottle up until now.

_She tried to comfort me you know. But she doesn’t have you words._

_Her voice is soothing, it used to calm me down immediately. But she doesn’t sound like you._

_Her eyes are so beautiful, so bright, so loving, full of life. But their color is not the right shade of green for me._

_Her skin is incredibly soft, so warm, sweet and inviting. But she doesn’t taste like you._

_She doesn’t have your taste for the night, for parties, for recklessness, and everything that I hate. Everything that took you away from me._

_Why isn’t she enough?_

_She dried all my tears. She picked up the pieces of the disaster you left behind. She paid your debt. She erased your crossing-outs. She tried to erase it all. All you left me._

_Why isn't she enough?_

Her eyes shut tightly. Tobin tries to calm her breathing. Everything is hitting her like a ton of bricks, making her realize the lie she’s been living in for more than a year. With tears burning her eyes and sobs that she tries to swallow back, Tobin slowly writes the end of the letter.

_She loves me like crazy, she knows me by heart._

_She tells me she loves me, sometimes for hours long._

_But she doesn’t smell like you. Her neck doesn’t smell like your neck where I once belonged._

_Why do I smell you when I’m in her arms?_

_I should want only her, yet I still long for you._

Her tears have stopped when she puts the final interrogation point. She sits back and contemplates what she has written. For the first time in over a year, she has allowed herself to be fully honest. After sitting in thought for a few minutes, she sits up straight with the new realization. She bends over to her letter and writes, _"I still love you, and all I can wish and hope for is that you love me back."_

Tobin rubs her hands over her face, effectively wiping off the dried tear-stains. She shuts off her light and makes her way to the bed where her girlfriend is currently residing in. She takes off her glasses and lays on her side of the bed. She usually would take her lover into her arms but tonight, it feels like, while she had not physically done so, she’s cheated on her and doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near her. She stays tense as she starts to count in her head to help her fall asleep. When that doesn’t work, she allows herself to think of sweet green eyes, curly black hair, and a loving smile. Tobin drifts into a restless slumber.

\-----------

Tobin subconsciously awakens and usually she would wake up and make breakfast for her and her girlfriend, but she’s desperately clinging to the lingering dream. She had dreamt of her and her past lover in a meadow, smelling the sunflowers, and just enjoying each other’s company. It was the first dream in a while that had brought her warmth.

Time passes and Tobin reluctantly decides it’s time to get up. She immediately notices her girlfriend isn’t in the bed with her, which was odd because usually Tobin gets up earlier than her. She slips out of bed and pads to the kitchen where she stops dead in her tracks. In front of her was her girlfriend looking wrecked as she holds a piece of paper in her hands.

Tobin’s blood runs cold. It was the letter she had written late into the night last night. The letter she had written for her past lover. The letter that holds every single honest emotion and thought from the past year.

“How long?” Tobin winces as she hears the heartbroken voice. “How long has it been since you realized I’m not enough for you?”

Tobin can’t answer. She can’t open her mouth to reassure her girlfriend “It was never that way,” or “I don’t care about her anymore” or “I only love you” but she can’t find it in her to say those words out loud. Her girlfriend sobs and Tobin aches as she watches her grieve. She says, tearfully, “You know, I always knew. Somewhere deep inside of me always knew, a part of you was always with her. No matter what I did, you were always hers. I don’t know how I fooled myself for all this time.”

The heartbroken girl sniffles and throws the paper at Tobin. She closes her pale eyelids, seems to gather herself, and forcefully says, “I’m going to pack my bags. I’m going to leave and you’re going to live in this house without me. We’re done.”

And with that, as horrible as it may be, Tobin feels a weight leave her chest and a sense of relief floods through her.

**

The house was quiet and empty. In the closet that they used to share, was now almost empty. Any trace of her now ex-girlfriend was now gone. When she had finished packing and was close to leaving, she seems to make a decision and turns around to give Tobin one final kiss on the cheek. A final kiss goodbye.

_“Will I ever see you again?” Tobin can’t help but ask. Even though she never loved the girl romantically, she still cared for her._

_The girl shakes her head sadly, “I need to move on. I’m in love with you and you’re not… not…” she can’t finish her sentence. “I think its better if we never see each other again.”_

_Tobin agrees and says, “Well, goodbye then. I’m sorry for putting you through this. It isn’t fair to you.”_

_The girl shrugs and leaves without another word._

Now, Tobin contemplates on what she should do. She could go for a run to clear her head, she could read or watch the Premier League game she’s sure is on right now, or….

Or she could mail the letter to the woman who still had her heart. Tobin decides it’s the right decision to do so, to finally get closure. She rummages through the stack of papers on her desk and finds the newspaper that had caused her distress.

She traces her finger lightly on the picture. Her eyes scan the figure in it, taking in her older appearance. She seems to have matured, Tobin noted, and her eyes fell on the soft lips where her own use to touch. Tobin shakes her head, and focuses on the address of the building where the picture had come from. It seems to have come from the lawyer firm that she must work at. She grabs an envelope writes down the address.

With a deep breath, she writes, “Christen Press”.

\----------

It’s been a week since she’s sent the letter. As soon as she dropped the envelope into the mailbox, she feels free. Now, the cards are in her hands. If she doesn’t want to answer, then so be it. I’ll be over it. But if she answers…

Tobin doesn’t even want to think about the possibilities. She distracts herself by turning on the television to watch a recap of the Liverpool vs. Arsenal game that had happened earlier in the day. She loses herself in the world of football when she hears a timid knock on her door.

Scrunching her eyebrows together, Tobin tries to think of who it might be. She hadn’t ordered pizza or any food and she wasn’t expecting any packages. She trudges to the door and opens it without looking to see who it was.

Tobin loses her breath. It’s sucked out of her lungs as she gazes at the familiar green eyes that were peering back at her. _She’s here_ is all she can think of when Christen crashes into her. The force of impact has Tobin stumbling back a bit, but she wraps her arms around Christen’s slim waist and hugs her tightly. Hugs her so tight because she wants to feel as if Christen will never leave her again. She feels Christen dig her face into the crook of her neck and Tobin runs her hands up and down her back.

“You came back.” Tobin croaks out. Christen finally releases the tight grip she had on Tobin, steps back but not leaving much space between them.

“Of course I did.” Christen says softly. “Did you mean what you wrote?”

Tobin doesn’t even have to ask which part. She meant every single one. “Of course I did.”

A few tears leaked out from Christen’s eyes and Tobin gently rubs the pad of her thumbs across her delicate cheekbones.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Christen cries, “I’ve tried to find ways to contact you but you basically disappeared from this world. Don’t you know how much I needed you?”

Tobin turns her head to the side, blinking back the tears that sprung to her eyes.

Christen is sobbing now, cupping Tobin’s face with both of her hands and holds her close. “After you left, I had a lot of time to think. My reckless way of living life is what made you leave me and I was determine to fix it. So I finished law school and got a job. I finally became stable for the first time in my life, no drugs, no alcohol, nothing of any sorts. The only thing I couldn’t be stable in was a relationship.” Christens says, sniffling. “I tried to get over you. I really did. There were so many times I thought I was over you, then I would see something that would remind me of you, and it would erase any progress I ever made.”

Christen clears her throat and shakes her head, “I guess that was the universe’s sign of showing me, you are the one for me.”

It was all Tobin ever wanted to hear. She couldn’t hold herself back as she bent her head down and captured Christen’s lips. As soon as their lips touched, Tobin finally felt right. She knew this is where they belonged. Tobin wrapped her lanky arms around Christen’s waist and Christen wrapped her fingers around Tobin’s neck, playing with her baby hairs. They moved together, slowly and carefully, almost shy. “We still need to figure things out,” Tobin mumbles in between desperate kisses.

Christen hums and sighs in disappointment when Tobin pulls away. “Christen,” Tobin says seriously, “if you come inside my house, you are committing to us. I won’t be able to survive the heartbreak if you aren’t. You are my endgame, but if you can’t commit, then I won’t allow you back into my life. We can’t just be friends and I can’t have you halfway. I know it’s selfish but I just can’t.”

Christen pulls her impossibly closer and says in the most serious tone, “I don’t want you halfway either. I’m in this, as long as you want me to be.”

_25 years later_

After their 25th year anniversary dinner, Tobin is pulling Christen into a kiss when she feels Christen slip something into her back pocket and looks at her curiously,

“What’s this?” She pulls out a wrinkled folded piece of paper and instantly recognizes her own handwriting. It’s the letter she had sent all those years ago “You kept it?” Tobin asks incredulously.

Christen tucks a piece of hair behind Tobin’s ear (her hair was turning a little grey but Christen insists she adores it.) “Of course I did. It’s what brought me back to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, feedback and kudos are appreciated :)


	6. i'm needy and you're oblivious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tobin notices christen isn't wearing her rings during training but can't figure out why

Tobin and Christen had just came back from England to take part in the national team camp. The team van had picked them up from the airport somewhere in the Netherlands and drove a short drive to the training facility. It has been months since she’s been able to see and play with her dearest friends so Tobin is ecstatic.

Tobin is practically bouncing off the walls as the training fields came into view. She makes a move to get up from her seat but Christen grasps her bicep and smiles fondly, “Sweetheart, calm down a bit. I know you’re excited but at least wait until the car has come to a complete stop.”

Tobin grins and leans in to give Christen a peck on the lips. As soon as the car is parked, Tobin shoots up and grabs her bags. She turns around and grabs Christen’s bags and her hand to help her wife off the bus. Christen gives Tobin a loving smile at the gesture and just as Tobin leans in to give Christen one more kiss before they see their teammates, she hears a shrill, “Tobin!”

Both Tobin and Christen whip around to the sight of a beaming Alex Morgan and other teammates. Alex shouts, “Come here!” and Tobin impulsively drops Christen’s bags at the steps of the van and her hand simultaneously. She walks to Alex and her friends with a gigantic smile on her face (which was hidden by the mask) and misses the fallen smile and green eyes behind her.

“Guys!” Tobin laughs. “What’s up?” Her friends all came around to give her hugs.

Alex came to hug her last. She squeezes Tobin for a beat longer than needed and Tobin clears her throat. Alex shuffles back sheepishly and says, “I’ve missed you. How have you been?”

Kelley cuts in, grinning, “Oh she’s definitely been fine. She’s had Christen to keep her all happy and warm in England, am I right?”

Tobin shakes her head smiling at the thought of her wife. _Speaking of my wife…_ Tobin thinks, _where is she?_ Tobin turns her head back to the van where she sees Christen struggling a bit to carry both her and Tobin’s bags.

Alex and Kelley both follow her line of sight and gasps, “Seriously? You leave your wife to do the heavy lifting?” Kelley groans. She shoves Tobin in Christen’s direction and Tobin sprints over to her side.

“So sorry, love! They called me over there and I had to say hi.” Tobin says as she lifts the bags onto her own arms, relieving Christen of the heavy load. Christen gives her a faint, half-hearted smile as she replies, “No worries, babe. I get it, you’re excited.” Tobin thinks she’s left off the hook until Christen continues, “Just don’t do that again. I don’t like it when you spontaneously leave me for other people.”

Tobin takes Christen’s hand and gives her a kiss on the knuckles, “Won’t happen again, love. I promise.”

They hear tires rolling up next to them and Tobin exclaims, “It must be the newbies! I think one of them is coming from Stanford, Chris!”

Christen perks up, “Oh yeah, I heard about her. I can’t quite remember her name,” she taps her nose, “but I’ve heard she’s phenomenal.”

Tobin shrugs and says, “Let’s go! C’mon, let’s go get situated in our rooms. The faster we do it, the more time we get to play some footy!” She drags a giggling Christen down to the facility.

\---------------

As soon as they enter their room, Christen is ready for cuddling and a nap. “Babe,” she whines, “I know you really want to go out and play but I really want to take a nap.”

Tobin pops her head out of the bathroom, “Okay, love, you can stay here and sleep. I know you don’t rest when we’re travelling. I’ll just go down to the fields with some of the girls.”

Christen frowns, “But I want your cuddles. You know I always sleep better with you, Tobs.”

Tobin grimaces as she looks at her painfully adorable pouting wife. Who was she to deny such a small request? She says, “Well, I suppose I’ll stay-“ and hen she gets cut off by an alert from her phone. She looks down to read the message and immediately lights up.

Christen watches curiously as Tobin shuffles through their shared bag of shoes and grabs her cleats. “Baby, what are you doing? I thought you were going to stay here with me.”

Tobin doesn’t look up as she’s packing her training bag, “I know, Chris, but Alex wanted to do some passing and crossover work before real training starts. It’s sorta like a warmup for her I guess.”

Something in Christen’s chest tightens and she sighs, “I need you here though…” She trails off as she watches the door of the room close and a faded, “Bye babe!” comes through.

Christen sighs and changes into one of Tobin’s hoodies, hoping that it would be enough to lull her to sleep.

\------------

It’s late into the night and Christen is curled up alone on her bed. Tobin and Alex hadn’t showed up to the team dinner but Christen acted like it didn’t bother her and engaged in multiple conversations with her teammates. After dinner, she tried to contact Tobin but all of her texts went unanswered and her calls kept being ignored so she gave up. She puts on Tobin’s hoodie and sweatpants again and reads a book with her glasses perched on her nose. She looks at her watch and sighs. It’s past 11 o’clock and Christen’s just about made up her mind to go and search for Tobin when her wife stumbles through the door.

Christen stands up and says nothing. She crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at the apologetic midfielder. “Chirs, babe,” Tobin starts, “I’m so sorry for coming in so late. Alex and I were at the fields and didn’t realize how late it had gotten. We missed the dinner and I tried to call you but my phone was dead. Then, Alex was like _‘Let’s just go find somewhere to eat’_ and I was like _‘Okay, but where are we going to find any restaurants that were opened at this time that serves food Dawn would approve of?’_ because Dawn is so insistent on eating healthy food, it’s so annoying, and Taco Bell surely doesn’t have any-“

Despite Christen’s annoyance, a fond smile made its way onto her face at Tobin’s rambling, “Tobs, you’re rambling.”

Tobin takes a deep breath, looks at her wife with puppy-dog eyes, and says, “I’m so sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

Christen’s tough guy façade fades as she nodes tiredly, “I’m so tired, babe. Can you just hold me, please?”

Tobin nods enthusiastically and she replies, “Of course. Let me shower and change right quick, I’ll be back.”

Christen leans back onto her pillows and heaves a deep sigh. After a few minutes, Tobin comes out freshly showered and changed and she takes her sleepy wife into her arms. Christen nuzzles her face into Tobin’s neck and then teasingly pulls back. She teases, “Did you even wash yourself? That was one quick shower.”

Tobin chuckles and says in her deep, slowed voice, “I didn’t want to leave you alone for long.”

Christen bites out, “You didn’t seem to have a problem with that earlier.” Tobin sighs and rubs her hand on her face, “Again, I’m sorry, I really wasn’t thinking.”

Christen curls up to Tobin, suddenly feeling vulnerable, “I don’t like the feeling of me just being a second-thought. But I get it, you’re so excited. My love,” she kisses Tobin’s nose, “always so energetic and happy. Just promise me you’ll try your best not to leave me alone so much, ok?”

Tobin kisses Christen on her lips and nods. She traces ‘I love you’ onto Christen’s back over and over until they fall asleep.

\-------------

Christen wakes up to an empty bed. She looks around groggily and frowns when Tobin isn’t anywhere in sight. She sits up and on the bedstand next to the bed, there’s a note. Curious, Christen reads it and with every word, her heart falls a little bit more.

_My love,_

_I’m headed out to breakfast with Alex. She wanted to try out this new place she saw on her way here and she wanted it to just be me and her. Wanted her “Tobin time” or whatever. Anyways, text me if you want me to get you anything and I’ll try to be back within an hour or two. I might not be back in time before practice starts, so I may just see you during practice. I love you!_

_-Tobin_

Christen sighs and wills away the tears that began to surface. She doesn’t know what’s gotten into her lately, always needing Tobin to be around her. Tobin is her own independent person, she can do things without Christen but…

Christen allows herself to ponder. Why, all of a sudden, Alex wants to hang out with Tobin so much. Christen has noticed the two have been texting more often in England and after a match between Manchester United and Tottenham Spurs, she also noticed Alex’s lingering looks. Those lingering looks and touches brought some possessive and passionate sex later on in the night.

Christen blushes and doesn’t allow herself to think of those events. She went back to feeling jealous and neglected. Even though she knows for a fact that nothing is really going on between Alex and Tobin (that ship has sailed a while ago) because Alex has a nice husband and a baby for crying out loud. Still, she’s not feeling rational and decides to do something petty and unreasonable.

\-------------

Tobin is scanning the locker room, looking for her wife, and a grin splits her face as she watches Christen struggle with putting on a bun. Her smile fades, however, when she notices that Christen’s love ring and wedding ring isn’t on her fingers. Tobin slowly walks over and when she gets there, she tucks a strand of curly hair that became loose from the bun.

Christen smiles half-heartedly at Tobin. She doesn’t say anything as she ties on her cleats and Tobin croaks, “Um, hi.”

Christen mutters, “Hi,” back, not looking up from her shoes. Tobin tilts her head and looks over her wife’s appearance. _She looks good, nothing seems out of the ordinary_ Tobin smiles to herself _well when does she ever NOT look good?_ Tobin squats down so that she’s eye to eye with Christen.

“Baby,” she coos, “What’s wrong with the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world?” Tobin hopes that laying it on thick will get Christen to smile, but her words seem to sadden Christen even more. Without a word, Christen stands abruptly from her seat and strides out of the locker room.

“What the…?” Tobin is baffled, and apparently Kelley is too when she jumps on Tobin’s back and whisper/shouts, “What’s up with Christen, Tobito? What did you do now?”

Tobin shrugs, dejected, “I don’t know, it must be a bad day for her. Kell…” She waits until she has Kelley serious, “she isn’t wearing her rings.” Kelley’s eyes widen in confusion as she says slowly, “But she never goes anywhere without them.”

Tobin sighs, “I know. I would talk to her right now, but I want her to focus on the upcoming game. Maybe after the camp is over, I’ll talk to her.”

Kelley eyes her, “Tobs, I don’t think that’s a good idea. But whatever, you think you should do, you do it. Christen is your wife, not mine, sadly.”

Tobin shoves Kelley who was cackling on her way out the door.

\-----------

It only got worse from there. Everytime Tobin tried to spend time with Christen, Alex or one of her teammates swipes her away and Christen is left behind each time. With each passing day, her mood sours more and more. At nights, Tobin plays Mario Kart online with her friends and Christen is curled up with a pillow, alone. Tobin desperately tries to cheer her up with jokes and affectionate touches but Christen seems to get angrier with each gesture. Tobin still has no clue what she’s doing wrong but continues to not address it.

Finally, after the friendly against the Netherlands (the bangers from Rose Lavelle and Kristie were outstanding, Tobin will give them that) Tobin rushes to pull Christen into one of the stranded bathroom stalls. Finally, without the prying eyes of her teammates, Christen begins to cry.

Tobin freezes for a split second and then proceeds to wrap Christen in a hug. Christen rejects her advances however, spacing herself from Tobin as much as she can in the tight stall. She cries harder and Tobin doesn’t know what to do.

“Chris, baby,” she pleads, “please tell me what’s wrong. What’s been going on these past few days?”

Christen scoffs, “Oh, as if you don’t know.”

Tobin tilts her head and says, “I really don’t, Chris. Please tell me.”

Christen pushes Tobin hard against her sternum and points a finger in her face, “You’ve been neglecting me! You broke your promise! You promised you wouldn't spontaneously leave me for other people but thiss entire time at camp, I feel like I haven’t spent a single second with you alone! I mean, I know you want to hang out with your friends or whatever, but not every damn second of the day!”

Tobin opens her mouth to defend herself and Christen continues, “Everytime I felt like I finally had you to myself, Alex or someone else just swoops on in and takes you from me and YOU just leave me there by myself! I thought me not wearing my rings would be a wake-up call to you, to finally check in on me and to finally give me the attention I need as your wife, but you continuously ignore it, and that’s what hurts me most.”

Tobin is speechless and she takes a step closer into Christen’s space. Christen is sobbing, all the hurt and anger she’s felt in the past few days all pouring out. She wraps her wife into a hug and whispers, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Tobin says, “It was never my intention to make you feel like that. I could give you some weak excuse for my behavior but the truth is, there really is no good reason for me neglecting you this week. You’re the most important person to me, and I’m so sorry for making you feel like that otherwise.”

Christen presses a needy kiss to Tobin’s mouth. She sighs, clearly missing the feeling of Tobin’s plush lips against her own. She grasps Tobin’s face with her hands and says seriously, with green eyes staring into brown, “Please don’t ever do that again. I love you and you love me, and I want to always feel like you love me, okay?”

Tobin nods somberly, and they stand in their embrace for a while, in a dirty small bathroom with sweaty jerseys clinging to their bodies. As the situation might seem less idealistic, Tobin can’t imagine being anywhere else but in her wife’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, feedback and kudos appreciated!  
> that game against the Netherlands was *chefs kiss* rose had a banger (that made me feel nostalgic) and kristie got her first goal on her first cap since 2014! christen's almost goal was fire too! also, i cant be the only one who noticed she wasn't wearing her rings like usual.


	7. my love, my love, what a journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based off "love story" by taylor swift and "beautiful" by bazzi. christen and tobin grow up together and dance around their feelings for a while.

**We were both young, when I first saw you**

**We were both young, when I first saw you**

Tobin will never forget the day she first saw Christen Press. She was 6 years old, holding her mother’s hand whilst walking into her elementary school for the first time. Dragging her feet, Tobin kept her head down and tuned out her mother’s voice until she heard a scream.

Whipping her head upwards, her eyes caught onto the sight of a curly-haired girl with a bright pink bow, crying and screaming at her mom.

“I don’t wanna go!!! Take me home!!” the little girl shrieked.

Surrounding parents shook their heads and gave the girl and her mother disdainful looks. Tobin’s mother tries to pull her along, but something inside of her shifted. She ripped her hand away from her mother and walked with a purpose towards the sobbing girl. Without saying a word, Tobin stands next to the girl and offers her hand. The girl wiped her eyes, took a deep breath, and accepted the offered hand.

“You’re gonna be okay. We can be friends! Don’t worry,” Tobin reassured the small girl.

The two entered the school, hands intertwined, leaving their bewildered mothers behind with a newfound smile gracing their faces.

\---------------

As they enter their classroom, the girl tugs on Tobin’s hand and whispers, “I’m Christen, by the way. I’m sorry that I was acting that way.”

Tobin shrugs, “I’m Tobin and that’s okay. First day jitters, is all.”

She giggles, “Tobin is such a weird name!”

Tobin gives her an offended look and Christen immediately backtracks, “I mean it’s cool! Please don’t be mad! Here, you can have one of my graham crackers.”

Tobin scrunches up her nose and exclaims, “Ew! Christen! Graham crackers are so gross! Goldfish is the better snack!”

Huffing, Christen shoots back, “No it’s not! You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Tobin just grins smugly and says, “Clearly, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” earning her a smack on the shoulder.

Christen retorts, “I know more than you. I can read chaptered books now. What can you do?”

Now standing in a rather intimidating way, Tobin drew herself up and snaps, “I can play soccer! And I can also skateboard! I can do more than you.”

With that, competitiveness lit up inside both of them. Throughout the day, Christen made sure that she could write her name neater than Tobin. Tobin made more paper basketballs into the trash bucket than Christen. Christen colored her flower with more colors than Tobin and ate her lunch faster.

The seemingly never-ending competition came to a halt when Tobin got the sticker that said, “Best Teacher Helper of the Day” whilst Christen had only gotten a star sticker. Tobin turned to Christen with a smug smile on her face, which quickly fell off her face as she watched her friend stomp off to the corner. Tobin quickly followed and sat quietly behind Christen. After a minute or two, she starts to see Christen’s back shake.

Alarmed, Tobin scoots over to her side and asks, “Chrissy? Are you okay?”

Christen whirls around, eyes red and eyebrows pinched. “No!! I’m not okay! Why do you get the better sticker? I cleaned up the toys faster than you!” She then turns around and sulks at the wall.

Tobin can’t bear to see her friend sad so she quickly tears off her sticker and takes Christen’s hand. She puts the sticker in Christen’s palm and holds it until the girl’s sniffles subsided. Bright green eyes look up and lock with honest brown eyes.

“Here you go, my princess.” Tobin does a slight bow to emphasize the gesture.

“Thanks,” Christen says, now embarrassed at her reaction.

Tobin pulls her friend into a hug and says, “No problem. I don’t wanna see you sad. You deserved it more than I did.”

When their parents picked them up from school, they swore they never saw brighter smiles dancing across their faces when the two friends look at one another.

\----------------

**You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess**

“Chris! Catch!”

Christen’s head snapped up from her book and narrowly dodges the soccer ball that was thrown from her best friend.

She glares at Tobin. “Tobs! Stop doing that, I’m trying to read! Go bother somebody else.” With that being said, Christen looks back down at her book, not paying any attention to the brown-eyed girl who is currently sprinting at full force towards her.

“OOMPH!!” Christen gets thrown back from the force from her best friend barreling into her. This resulted in a tangle of legs, arms, and hair.

Tobin giggles madly, “That was too funny! Stay here, I’m gonna do this again. Don’t move.” She tries to untangle herself from Christen but fails as Christen leans her full weight onto her legs.

“Ow, Chris. Get off me!!”

“Nah, this is pretty comfortable.” Christen rests her face on Tobin’s cheek and closes her eyes.

The 11 year old rolls her eyes and shifts in her current position into something more comfortable. Tobin cannot imagine how they must look, all tangled up and just sitting there. The two friends sat in comfortable silence until they heard whispers and giggles from behind them.

“What are they doing?”

“That’s so weird. They’re so weird.”

Tobin whips her head around to see Elizabeth and Kayla and their group of silly-looking friends scrunching their noses at them.

Christen beams at them and says, “Hi guys! What are y’all doing here?”

Elizabeth sneers, “I think the better question is, what are you weirdos doing here?”

Christen’s face falls at her belittling words and Tobin stands up, carefully untangles their legs. She glares at them and says, “That was uncalled for. There’s no need to be rude. We are just having some fun.”

Kayla laughs and retorts, “If sitting there looking like a couple of lesbians is fun, then sure. My mom says gay people will burn in hell.”

Christen’s eyes widen and fills with tears. “Don’t say that! That’s not true!” She starts to hyperventilate at the words and soon enough, her words aren’t even comprehendible.

Tobin gets in Kayla’s face and huffs, “Go away, I’m not asking you again.” Kayla just laughs in her face and Tobin sneers. She raises her fist and punches Kayla in her face.

Kayla screams and her group starts to back away as Tobin continues to beat on Kayla. After a few seconds, another girl enters and pulls Tobin off of Kayla. Kayla runs away crying and Tobin works on calming herself down. Tobin looks at the mystery girl and says, “Thanks. Sorry you had to see that.”

The girl shrugs, “I heard what they said. It’s not true, those idiots don’t know what they’re talking about. I’m Kelley.” She offers her hand out.

Tobin takes it and says, “I’m Tobin, and this here is...” her words trail off as her eyes land on her best friend who is rolled up into a ball and crying silently.

Tobin takes the small girl and cradles her, “I’m sorry Chrissy. They were so mean for no reason.”

Christen buries her face in Tobin’s neck, saying nothing. The two, now three friends, sit in silence.

After around thirty minutes, Christen shifts. Tobin gets the hint and gets up, bringing Christen along with her. Kelley looks at the two of them and says, “Well, I’ll see y’all later then. Bye guys.”

The two girls wave goodbye and start their trek home. They walk in silence until Christen starts to giggle.

Tobin looks at her like she’s gone mad. “What’s so funny Chris?”

Christen starts to laugh like a maniac and it wasn’t long till both of them were bent over laughing, “Toby!” she gasps out between breaths, “You just punched somebody! So much for ‘peace and love to everybody’. You’re mom is gonna be so mad!”

Tobin says nothing, still laughing.

“Tobin,” Christen says, all of a sudden serious, “You didn’t have to do that. Now,” she gestures to Tobin’s bruised hands, “you’re hurt. Why would you do that in the first place? We could’ve just walked away without you getting hurt.”

Tobin takes her hand and says, “I would do anything for you, Chrissy. Anything because you are my princess. You are always going to be my princess.”

**It’s a love story, baby just say, “Yes.”**

**\----------**

**Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful angels,**

**Love your imperfections every angle**

Christen feels her bed dip beneath her and a warm body jumping on her. She groans and croaks out, “What do you possibly need right now, Tobin?”

She cracks open an eye and sees the impossibly wide grin that always makes her heart skip a beat and can’t help but smile back.

“I’m going to prom with Alex Morgan!” Tobin whispers-shouts.

Christen’s smile slowly faded. She couldn’t help but feel a terrible ache of longing as she looks at her best friend’s smiley face. She forces a smile and says, “Wow Tobin! That’s great!”

Tobin misses the insincerity in her voice and flops on the opposite side of the bed. “Like dude, who would’ve thought Alex Morgan would wanna go to prom with me?! Little ol’ me.”

Sad green eyes follow her movements and she whispers, “Yeah, who would’ve thought.” She thinks about the time Tobin came out to her.

\--------------

_“You’ll never stop being my best friend, right?”_

_Christen pops her head out from her homework. “Of course, Tobin. What kind of question was that?”_

_Tobin was sitting on her desk, wringing her hands signaling to Christen that she was nervous. “Yeah, I just…”_

_“You just what?”_

_“I’m gay.” Tobin blurts out._

_Christen’s eyes widen as she takes in this new information. A beat of silence passes until she gets up from her seat and walks over to the nervous 17 year old. She takes Tobin’s hands and forces her to look up._

_“How could you possibly think,” she says tenderly, “that this would make me leave you? You’re my best friend.”_

_Tobin shrugs, “I don’t know, it’s just…”_

_Another beat of silence passes as Tobin contemplates her next words._

_“I just remember your reaction to when we were 6 years old and Kayla had said that being gay was a sin. You were hyperventilating and just had an overall negative reaction.”_

_Christen shakes her head, “No, Tobs. It wasn’t that. It was more of her choice of words that wasn’t right. I don’t think anybody really deserves to go to hell.”_

_Tobin takes in her words as Christen adds, “Besides serial killers. And pedophiles. Oh, and people who like pineapple on pizza. They might as well have a reservation there already.”_

_Tobin laughs and wipes her eyes. “So you really don’t mind?”_

_Christen shakes her head and hugs her close, “No, I don’t.”_

\-----------------

Tobin straightens out her plain navy dress with a high neckline. She admires her hair, a simple, loose, curly bun, made by her sister. As she fastens a white flower to her wrist, her mind wanders to Christen.

Christen. Her best friend since they were 6 years old. Her supportive, loving, and competitive friend who never fails to make her laugh. Tobin doesn’t know what to make of the feelings that has started to surface. _Now now, Tobin,_ she chastises herself, _you know Christen doesn’t think of you like that. She’s straight. She has Daniel Jackson as her date for crying out loud._

With that thought out of the window, she finishes getting ready for her prom date with Alex Morgan.

An hour later, she’s headed to the country club with Alex by her side. Alex looks gorgeous, with a fitted purple gown and tight brown curls. Alex is nothing short of beautiful. She’s athletic, smart, stunning, and more so Tobin asks herself _why the hell do I feel like she’s not the one I want next to me?_

They enter the club, holding hands and exchange pleasantries with others. Tobin hugs Kelley and Emily, who were wearing complimentary dresses together and she is in the midst of sports talk with Lindsey when her eyes catch a blinding white dress.

She turns and…

Everything feels like it’s in slow motion.

Tobin feels like she can’t breathe.

Because standing just a few feet away from her was Christen. Christen, adorned in a stunning white gown that was short in the front and long in the back. The dress had a modest neckline, covered with lace and some sort of light pink stones. Her hair was in long, loose curls and her wrist was pinned with a white corsage.

They lock eyes and somehow, everything seems to blur. Tobin drops Alex’s hand and walks over to Christen. She takes Christen’s hand and hugs her, whispering, “Wow Christen. You are just… stunning. The most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

Christen blushes and buries her face deeper in Tobin’s shoulder. “Thank you Toby. You clean up nicely as well.”

The two were in their own world until a clearing of throat interrupts them. Tobin turns to see Daniel glaring at them.

“Come on Christen let’s go.” He grumbles. He takes her hand and roughly pulls her away from Tobin.

Tobin watches as her best friend gets dragged off by her date, her mind still fuzzy from the moment they just had. She feels a cold hand on the small of her back and turns to see Alex looking at her expectantly.

“C’mon Tobin. Let’s go get something to drink.”

\----------------

As Tobin twirls Alex for the fifth time that night, something inside tells her that something is wrong. She tells Alex that she’s going to the bathroom and leaves the dance floor. She looks around, trying to spot Christen amongst the crowd, but failing. She’s about to give up when she sees her sitting on the front steps of the club.

She approaches the girl carefully, trying to gauge her current mood when Christen seems to sense her presence and looks up. Tobin’s breath is taken away. Even with her red-rimmed eyes, Christen is still the most beautiful girl she’s ever laid eyes on.

“What’s wrong, CP?” Tobin asks cautiously as she sits down.

Christen takes a breath, lets out a long sigh, and lays her head on Tobin’s shoulder. In times like this, it’s better to let Christen think for a little bit in peace.

After a beat of silence, Christen asks in a shaky voice, “Today is suppose to be the day I'm suppose to feel the most beautiful, but instead, I don't even feel remotely attractive. Am I not pretty enough, Tobin?”

Tobin shuts her eyes and berates herself for not seeing this coming. While she may think that Christen is drop-dead gorgeous, many other people will not think so. Christen always compares herself to the popular girls at their school and always sees herself as disproportionate and the “ugly duck”.

Tobin is quick to respond, “Of course you are, Chris. You’re beautiful. You’re quite possibly the most beautiful girl out here. Why do you ask that?”

Christen looks away, “Do you mean that? Don’t say that just because I’m your best friend. I really need to hear the truth.”

Tobin puts her finger to Christen’s chin and tilts her face up to make eye contact. “Chris. I’m not saying this because I’m your best friend. It’s literal facts, you ARE so beautiful. And the best part about it is, you’re beautiful inside and out. I think that’s what counts. Just because you don’t meet the standards of society’s perfect girl, you’re still MY perfect girl. I love all your flaws because you are a beautiful angel and my princess.”

Christen blushes and doesn’t acknowledge the fact that those words hit deep within her heart. She lets out a small chuckle, “Really? Princess? You still remember that from 6 years ago?”

Tobin shrugs, “How could I ever forget that?”

They’re silent for a moment before Tobin asks, “Seriously, Chris. Where did this question come from?”

She mumbles, “I was with Daniel and his friends and I just saw how different I looked compared to them. My dark skin contrasts with their light skin and my dress is not as “showy” as the other girls’. I think Daniel realized that too and became embarrassed of me so he…” her voice quivered, “basically told me off in front of his friends on how I need to work out more so I can get skinnier and how I need to somehow get bigger boobs and it all just hit me on how different I was. I guess I just couldn’t take that criticism and humiliation so I just left. All those comments make me so insecure and made me question what possessed me to come here in the first place. I don’t belong here, and I never will.”

Tobin is speechless. She has never felt more angry in her entire life. How could somebody tell Christen, the sweetest and most caring person, that she was ugly? Her blood boils and she manages to calm down and steady her voice as she says, “He’s a jackass. He doesn’t deserve the honor of being your date or doing anything with you for that matter.” She gives Christen the biggest hug and whispers, “Let’s go to my house. I know what’ll make you feel better.”

Christen nods and allows herself to be pulled up. They head to Tobin’s car and they’re halfway to her house when Tobin remembers that she left Alex by herself in the club.

\----------------

Tobin and Christen change into sweatpants and old soccer shirts before they start to bake. Christen managed to find leftover cookie ingredients in Tobin’s pantry and decided they were going to whip up some old fashioned chocolate chip cookies. Tobin put on some music from the playlist that both of them shared and made them both chocolate milk.

As Christen was stirring the butter and sugar together, Tobin took some flour into her hand and flung it at Christen.

“Tobin, what the heck!” Christen groans as her hair turned white. “You’re literally just asking for it now.” She takes a handful of flour and smacks it in Tobin’s hair and face, making Tobin look like a snowman.

Tobin takes her tongue and licks some flour off. She grimaces and says, “Damn that’s nasty.”

They engaged in some sort of weird food fight that consisted of chocolate chips and flour and it wasn’t long till Tobin’s kitchen looked like something from Winter Wonderland.

“My mom is SO gonna kill me. We have to clean this up before she gets here, Chris.”

Christen starts to wipe down the counters until she hears the song, “Beautiful” by Bazzi play on the speakers. She feels two strong hands on her waist and lets herself be turned around.

“Dance with me, Chris. Since we didn’t get our dance at prom, I figure we can do it here.” Tobin grins.

Christen allows herself to be swayed and dipped and twirled, all the while laughing. Tobin wears a soft smile as she watches Christen’s eyes crinkle and her being thrown back in laughter. With flour and chocolate chips everywhere, and flour-encrusted hair and clothes, Tobin can’t find anything in her memories that was as perfect as this moment. _I…_ she suddenly realizes, _I’m in love with her._

**Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful life right now,**

**Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, night right now**

\--------------

**I thank God and my lucky stars, Darling don’t you know what you are**

Christen and Tobin laid sprawled out on the soccer field, breathless after an intense 1v1 scrimmage. They lay in comfortable silence until Tobin breaks it saying, “Wow, Chris. Graduation is tomorrow. Graduation. Feels like yesterday I was in kindergarten trying to learn how to count.”

Christen sighs, “Yeah. I get what you mean. Time really flies, huh?”

Tobin sits up abruptly with a big grin, “But we got soccer scholarships to D1 colleges Chris! Full soccer scholarships! Like, you seriously can’t ask for anything better right?”

Christen smiles, “Of course not, Tobs. You better watch out though. Stanford is going to kick UNC’s ass now that they have me on their team.”

Tobin rolls her eyes, “Let’s not get this started, or else we wouldn’t finish.”

Christen wears a smug grin, “You’re just saying that because you know I’m right.”

Tobin cries out in indignation and the two friends began to bicker, the wholesome moment now gone.

\--------------

“Now, Chadwick Highschool’s valedictorian, Christen Press!”

Cheers erupt from all sides of the auditorium, Tobin’s being the loudest.

Kelley, who was also attending Stanford on a soccer scholarship, yells out, “YEAH, WE ARE STANFORD!!”

After the fighting incident when they were young, Kelley joined in on the duo, never fully getting as close to them as Christen and Tobin already were, but the trio stuck together through elementary school, the horrifying phase of puberty, and more.

Christen gets on the stage, takes the microphone, and takes a deep breath.

“Good afternoon everyone! Thank you all for coming. Being the valedictorian this year has pushed me to the limit many times. There were times I thought about quitting school and giving up the sport I love most. However, I had my supporting and loving family,” she gestures to the section where her family sat in earning a few more whoops, “I also had my best friends by my side every step of the way. It wasn’t an easy journey but somehow I made it. When I was younger, I had a hard time accepting help from others. I thought all my success has to be built just from me, but that’s simply not possible.”

She pauses, contemplating her next words, “I certainly could not have gotten here without the support and love from my best friend, Tobin.”

Tobin blushes and ducks her head as some of the attention was now on her.

Christen continues, “Now, I’m on my way continue my studies at Stanford and all I have to say is…”

Tobin usually zones out of long, boring speeches (she never saw the point of sitting through an unbearably long speech and actually listening) but she couldn’t peel her eyes away from her best friend. She was mesmerized by Christen’s smart words and gesturing hands. Her eyes trace the way the light hits Christen’s face perfectly, highlighting her sharp cheekbones, soft lips, and green eyes.

Kelley catches her staring and whispers teasingly, “Your dick hard yet?”

Tobin shoves Kelley so hard she almost falls out of her seat. She turns her attention back to Christen and catches Christen already staring at Tobin. She continues to speak but her eyes are still locked on Tobin’s, almost trying to say something but Tobin can’t quite convey what it means.

Christen breaks eye contact, smiles at the crowd and says, “Now, on to the next chapter!”

\-------------

Tobin enters the graduation party, looking around for her friends. She catches Lindsey and Kelley, giving them both hugs, and engages in conversation. She’s in the middle of a joke when she feels an all-too-familiar hand on her back.

“Chris!” Tobin says happily as she turns. “That was an awesome speech up there! Had me tearing up for a minute.” She jokes.

Christen rolls her eyes and punches Tobin’s shoulder, “Shut up. I didn’t want to make it too long and unbearable.”

Tobin laughed, “I’m pretty sure I can listen to you talk all day every day.”

Christen flushes and she opens her mouth to say something else when another hand touches Tobin’s back and she turns to see Alex Morgan smiling at her.

Tobin turns back to Christen but sees that she has already left. With a pit in her stomach, she forces a smile and starts a conversation with Alex, not seeing sad green eyes watching her from afar.

\--------------

After a few hours, Christen is getting tired and starts weaving through the crowd, trying to find Tobin. As she finally pushes through the crowd, she sees a sight that makes her stomach drop. She sees Alex leaning in, pushing her lips onto her best friend’s lips. Christen whirls around because she can’t bear the sight. She starts to push through the crowd, wanting nothing more than to get home.

\---------------

Tobin and Alex were sitting outside on one of the benches, enjoying each other’s company. She isn’t sure what changed the mood but all of a sudden, Alex’s lips were on hers, and all she could wonder about is if Christen’s lips are soft. She’s about to pull away until she sees a mass of curly hair retreating into the crowd. Her eyes widen as she realizes that Christen must’ve seen them kissing.

She pushes Alex aside, gives a feeble apology and excuse, and runs after Christen. It takes a while to push through the crowd but she finally catches up to Christen, grabbing her wrist and pulling her back.

“Where are you going?” Tobin was breathing heavily.

Christen rips her hand away and sneers, “Why do you care? Why don’t you just go back to making out with Alex?”

Tobin takes a step back and snaps, “Because I care about you! Why are you being like this? Why do you care about what me and Alex do together? It’s none of your business.”

Christen’s eyes changed from angry to sadness as she replies, in a now soft, dejected voice, “You’re right. It’s none of my business.”

She starts to leave but Tobin stops her again. “What now, Tobin?”

Tobin searches her face, “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

Christen bites her lip, shaking her head.

Tobin sighs, “C’mon Chris, we promised each other we wouldn’t keep secrets from each other. What’s going on?”

Christen whispers, “No I can’t. It might ruin our friendship for good, and I can’t survive without you being my best friend.”

Tobin tenderly takes her hand and cups Christen’s cheek. “You could never lose me. You’re my princess, remember? Always.”

Christen sighs. She looks up at Tobin, locking eyes with her. Tobin can see the longing, sadness, and heartache in honest green eyes. “Do you know what you are?”

Tobin shakes her head, confused by the question.

Christen continues eye contact as she says, “You are not only my best friend, but you’re the love of my life. There’s only a few things I’m certain of, and you being the love of my life is one of them.”

Tobin opens her mouth but Christen rambles on, “I mean, I know that’s a lot. Like, we haven’t even dated, we haven’t even KISSED for crying out loud, I feel things for you that I’ve never felt for anybody else. And I know you have Alex and all and its okay if you don’t feel the same way but I just needed you to know-“

Her rambling is cut off by Tobin pressing her lips to Christen’s. Christen’s eyes widen in surprise but after a split second, she kisses back with a new-found passion. Their lips move in sync and all Tobin and Christen can feel is fireworks in their hearts.

After a minute, they separate for air, leaning their foreheads against one another, puffs of air hitting their faces. Tobin brings her hands to cup Christen’s face and showers her faces with small kisses. Christen’s leans into the affection, not quite believing this is real.

Tobin whispers, “I think I’ve been in love with you for forever. I thought it was super one-sided. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

Christen whispers back, “You had Alex. I didn’t think I could measure up to her.”

Tobin pulls back and gives her the most serious look, “Nobody could ever measure up to you.”

They sway in each other’s embraces for a while, until Tobin breaks the silence saying, “I’m willing to make this work if you are. I know we are going to be on opposite sides of the country but there’s not a doubt in my mind that we will make it. I just love you too much to let you go too easily.”

Christen smiles at her teasingly, “Wow, so you’re being controlling, huh?”

Tobin whines, “Be serious, Chris.”

Christen blinks her eyes innocently, "I am serious! Wow, never would’ve thought Tobin Heath would be telling me to be serious! Has pigs flown yet?”

Tobin pouts and Christen can’t help herself. She kisses the pout off her face and mumbles against her lips, “Of course, love. Let’s make this work.”

**Tomorrow comes and goes before you know, So I just had to let you know**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont worry, a pt. 2 of "im needy and you're oblivious" will come, i just had this in my drafts (it used to be a seperate work). now keep it mind this is a oneshot, so i will not be doing a second part of this one. hope you enjoyed


	8. i would do anything for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tobin is secretive about her love life. she's cold and mean to anybody that wants her attention but she only has eyes for one

“Tobin…” Kelley groans in frustration, “You’re killing me here, man.”

Ashlyn winces as she watches another girl walk away from Tobin, likely hurt and embarrassed.

“That was the fifth girl TODAY you’ve rejected. And you’ve done it so terribly! Will it honestly kill you to not be mean and rude for five minutes?” Ali sounded exasperated. She knew that Tobin isn’t always so mean around her friends but to other people, it was a whole different story.

Tobin huffs, “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this. I’m not looking for any relationships right now. I’m good where I am now.”

Ashlyn tries to smooth things over, “Okay guys, just give her a break. She says she’s not up for this, so be it. We aren’t Cupid.”

“But Toby is lonely! I have Emily, you have Ali, and who does Tobin have?” Kelley whines. “I’m just looking out for my friend.”

A group of students walk by and they wave to the girls. They all half-heartedly wave back and Tobin opens her mouth to reprimand Kelley when another girl with dark curly hair and green eyes walks up to Tobin. Her eyes are trained on Tobin and she sways her hips with purpose.

Tobin groans internally when she hears a sickly sweet voice say, “Hey there. I was wondering if-“

Tobin interrupts, “Sorry, not interested.”

The girl persists however. She bites her lip seductively and twists a strand of hair around her finger (Tobin despises those actions), “I don’t mean to bother you but-“

She interrupts again, “But you are bothering me. I’m not interested in anything you have to say. Go away.”

The girl puts her hand on Tobin’s bicep and Tobin snatches her hand away. She sneers, “Are you stupid? What part of ‘go away’ don’t you get. Do you need me to spell it out for you? Clearly you aren’t capable of comprehending and following simple instructions.”

The girl is taken aback, clearly never been rejected or talked to that way before. She scoffs, her pride bruised, and she storms away from Tobin.

Tobin sighs in relief and turns her head to look at her disapproving friends. “What? I didn’t do anything wrong!” she says defensively.

Kelley just face palms herself.

\-------------

”It’s useless. Fruitless! I can’t present her with anybody she’s even remotely interested in!” Kelley groans to her friends.

Ashlyn shrugs, “Dude, chill. It’s just high school. She’ll find someone eventually.”

“See!” Kelley cries out, pointing a finger at the figure in the distance, juggling a soccer ball, “That’s the thing. It’s high school! Sure, she’s not going to find her soulmate or anything. But you’re supposed to let loose, have fun, sleep around! I mean, at least have some kind of romantic relationship! But she’s rejecting every single damn girl that comes her way!”

Ali attempts to soothe the crazed girl as she continues, “Is she suffering from asexuality?! You know, having no interest in sex or romance completely? You guys think that might be the case?”

Ali shakes Kelley, shutting her up. “You need to calm down. Tobin’s love life is none of your business.”

Warm arms wrap around Kelley’s waist and Emily puts her head on her shoulder, “What’s wrong with Kelley?”

Kelley scrunches up her nose, “Uh, Kelley is here and Kelley can speak for herself.”

Emily ignores her and stares pointedly at Ashlyn. Ashlyn gestures at Kelley and mumbles, “She’s just unhealthily obsessed with Tobin’s love life. Chill her out for us, dude.”

Emily pulls Kelley by the hand, “Okay, well we are leaving now. I guess we will see y’all at the Thanksgiving party at Sam’s this weekend, right?”

Ali nods in assent, “Yup. See y’all then.”

Kelley gestures to Tobin, who was still juggling the soccer ball, “She’s going too, right?”

Ashlyn says, “I’ll drag her there if I have to.” They wave farewell to the retreating couple and Ali lays her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder, exhausted from the events of the day.

\------------

The weekend comes and everybody at school is buzzing about the party later on Saturday. Tobin and her friends are getting dressed for the party at Ali’s house.

Kelley yells, “Should I wear the leather jacket or ripped jeaned jacket?”

Tobin groans, “Kell, just CHOOSE A FREAKING JACKET ALREADY!” She was lounging on the couch alongside Ali and Ashlyn. “It’s literally not that big of a deal. It’s just a party.”

Kelley whirls around and points an accusing finger at Tobin, “That’s easy for you to say! Not everybody can just throw on a white shirt and jeans and just look good, okay?” she gestures at Tobin’s outfit, “I need to look good for Emily.”

Ashlyn laughs, “You couldn’t look remotely good even if you tried.” Ali smacks her on the shoulder and gives her a reprimanding look.

Kelley flips the bird and continues her rant, something about a trashbag and her friends, when Tobin stands up suddenly.

“I, uh, I gotta go guys. I’ll meet you at the party.” She walks out without another word, her eyes glued to a text on her phone.

Kelley turns to her friends questioningly, and they all shrug. “Okay, guys, let’s boogie.” Kelley puts on the leather jacket and grabs her Mustang’s keys. They all pile in her car, blasted loud music, and made their way to the party.

When they arrived, the party was already in full blast. There were streamers, food, and the smell of booze everywhere. The music was deafening and Ali clutched Ashlyn’s arm so that she doesn’t lose her way through the crowd. Kelley cranes her neck to look for Emily, smiling when she spotted her. “Follow me,” she shouts. They weave through the thick crowd, greeting many classmates and friends. When they finally pulled through the crowd, Kelley wraps her girlfriend in a hug and asks, “Have you seen Tobin?”

Emily looks at her questioningly, “Uh, I don’t recall seeing her anywhere. Why? I thought she was coming here with you?”

“She was but while we were waiting on Kelley cause she was taking too freaking long,” Ashlyn glares at Kelley who holds her hands up defensively, “she got a text from someone and just left. Tobs said she would meet us here.”

_Tobin pulls up to a familiar driveway. She puts the car in park and bolts inside the house. She greets the older woman in the kitchen and she yells, “She needed me for some reason. I’ll be out of your hair in a minute.” Tobin knocks on a bedroom door and she hears a soft voice call her in._

_She spots her girlfriend, who was wearing a Spongebob themed baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants with glasses and her heart swells. “Hey, love.” She walks over to the girl who was sitting at the vanity table to give her a sweet kiss. Tobin moves to pull away but the girl wraps her hand around the nape of her neck and keeps her close. They kiss for a few more minutes until the girl finally pulls away, satisfied._

_Tobin pulls her up from her vanity chair and walks her to the edge of the bed. She pushes off the multiple textbooks littered on the bed and swipes the worksheets onto the floor. She pulls her into her lap and brushes the curly hair behind a caramel ear. Tobin nuzzles into the girl’s neck and mumbles, “I’ve missed you.”_

_The girl giggles and toys with Tobin’s hair, gently untangling the knots. “You saw me two days ago, baby.”_

_Tobin mutters, “That’s too long. Did you really have to go visit your grandparents during a school week?” She runs her hands up and down the girl’s thighs._

_The girl squirms in Tobin’s lap, “Yes, I did! I won’t be able to see them again till Christmas you jerk.”_

_Tobin pulls her head from the girl’s neck. She leans up and kisses her, “I didn’t mean it like that, love. I just wished you could’ve went during a weekend or something. Not during school days. You do realize I only come to school to see you, right? When you’re not there, I have no purpose for school.”_

_She scoffs and takes Tobin’s face in her smooth hands gently, “C’mon, Toby, you know you have to show up to school to continue soccer and to graduate! Don’t you want to go to college?”_

_Tobin looks at the green eyes staring at her adoringly, “I don’t care. I’ll go anywhere you go.”_

_The girl sighs dreamily, places one more kiss on the brunette’s lips, and stands up. She pulls away from Tobin’s wandering hands and ignores the disappointed whine that emits from her girlfriend. “I need to give you something.”_

_Tobin watches her girlfriend rummage through something in her closet (though Tobin admits her attention is more trained on the sculpted backside currently facing her.)_

_”Stop staring, babe.” Her girlfriend teases as she turns around. Her glasses slips down her nose a little and she scrunches her nose to push it back in place. In her hands, she has two ridiculous looking hats._

_Tobin cocks her head, reminding her girlfriend of a puppy with her big brown eyes, and she asks, “What’s that?” Her eyes runs over the hats, taking in the top-hat adorned with cut out feathers made from colored paper, googly eyes, and glitter. Her girlfriend walks over with a mischievous grin and Tobin starts to lean back in protest, “Wait, babe, wait what are you doing?”_

_She sets one of the hats on Tobin’s head and she adjusts it so that the googly eyes are facing forward. She giggles and places the other on her head. “See? We match!”_

_Tobin can’t help but smile adoringly at the goofy girl in front of her. “Babe, this is cute or whatever, but what do you want me to do with it?”_

_She replies, “I want you to wear it to the party tonight.”_

_Tobin’s eyes widen in surprise. “Wait, you’re going tonight? Why didn’t you tell me?”_

_Her girlfriend smiles and shrugs, “I wanted it to be surprise. Now,” she pulls Tobin up from the bed with her hands and starts pushing her to the door, “I need to get ready and when I arrive, I want to see you wearing this hat.”_

_“Okay, okay,” Tobin grumble. She knows she will look like a fool at the party, and if they show up matching, there will be no doubt that their relationship will be exposed. Tobin kept their relationship a secret, per her girlfriend’s request, but it seems she’s ready to come out to public. She will do anything for the girl in front of her, even risk her dignity in front of her nagging friends. Just before her girlfriend pushed her through the door, Tobin turns around and puckers her lips, asking silently for a kiss. Her girlfriend rolls her eyes, but indulges, pressing a hard kiss to Tobin. She backs up and shuts the door in Tobin’s face, yelling, “I’ll see you there!”_

_Tobin presses her head against the door and asks, “Wait why can’t I drive you?”_

_“I want to surprise you! I love you! Now, shoo!”_

_Tobin grins and leaves the house, waving goodbye to her girlfriend’s mother who yells at her, “Make sure she’s back by 10!”_

Emily looks past her girlfriend and chokes. “Is that Tobin?”

Her friend whirl around to find the girl and their eyes bug out of their head. Kelley marches over to the unsuspecting girl and drags her over. “Tobito!” she screams, “What is that thing on your head?”

Ashlyn bursts out laughing and Ali moves to take the hat off of Tobin’s head but she backs up before Ali can take it. “Whoa, back off. This can’t leave my head.”

Kelley narrows her eyes, “Why not? It looks dumb. You look dumb right now. People are going to be laughing at you all night.”

Tobin scoffs and adjusts her hat, “I don’t care. And it’s not dumb!” She cranes her neck to look at the entrance, clearly expecting someone. Kelley asks teasingly, “Whatcha waiting on Tobs? The pizza man?”

“Shut up,” Tobin grumbles. She pushes past her friends and takes a seat in a booth, Ali and Ashlyn quickly following. “Go grab us some drinks, Kell.”

Kelley begins to protest but then Emily elbows her. She pulls her towards the bar, something like “You’re wish is my command” and “Wow, can’t even give me a ‘please’ dumb hoes” and “How are you guys my friends”.

Her and Emily come back a few minutes later with a few beers and Tobin casually sips on it. Her eyes wander back to the entrance and she just about chokes to death. Ali claps her on the back, alarmed, “You good?”

Tobin nods and brushes off Ali’s hand. She’s not good though. She’s not good because a tanned skinned goddess has walked through the front doors, with a tight pink crop top fitted over her breasts and slim stomach, and a pair of ripped black short shorts. Her long legs were beautiful and her curly hair is wild and free. Her face was highlighted with light makeup, her green eyes popping against black eyeliner and mascara. Evidently, many people seemed to be entranced by the girl, whispers and catcalls all over the house. People started to say, “That’s Christen Press,” and “The nerd? The geek? Who knew she could be as fine as hell.” and “what the heck is on her head?”

The most intriguing and interesting part of her whole outfit was the ridiculous hat that sat on her curls. Kelley says, in awe, “That’s Christen Press. I thought she didn’t go to parties. She’s too much of a nerd and goody-two-shoes for this.” She watches as a guy, who seemed to have gathered the courage to talk to her, walks up to her and gets in her space. Ali seemed to notice that the hat on Christen’s head looked all too similar to the one Tobin was wearing and she turned to Tobin who was swiftly moving towards the girl. “Oh my God, Kelley!”

Kelley whips around and snaps, “What?”

Ali points to Christen and her friends watch from a distance as a scene began to unfold.

\--------------

Tobin tries desperately to push her way through the crowd. She can barely catch glimpses of her girlfriend and the last time she had a clear view of her, a boy had started to make advances on her. She finally emerges from the crowd and growls at the sight before her. The strange boy is in Christen’s space and she seems extremely uncomfortable. Christen seems to be looking around frantically for her and as her green eyes fall on Tobin, she slumps in relief.

Tobin starts to walk over to her side when she feels a pull on her arm. It’s the girl earlier in the week that had tried to make moves on her. The girl raises her eyebrows and smirks, “Are you sure you don’t want a piece of this?” She gestures to her tight-fitting dress and 4 inch heels with a sultry look on her face.

Tobin snatches her arm away and growls, “I don’t want you. Stop begging for me like some pathetic puppy. Go find someone who actually wants your pitiful self.” She feels a pang of guilt for her degrading words, but she’s really sick and tired of that girl chasing her. Tobin turns her attention back to Christen and storms up to her. She wraps her arm around Christen’s waist and sneers at the guy.

“Beat it, dude.” The guy backtracks and mutters, “Okay, okay.” Tobin tilts her head back to Christen who was smiling at her lovingly. Tobin’s hard features fade and she leans in to capture Christen’s lips. Tobin can feel many eyes on them but she can’t find it in herself to care. “We look so funny with our matching hats,” Christen mumbles in between kisses.

Tobin mutters, “You look absolutely gorgeous, my love. You certainly gave me a heart attack.”

Christen smiles shyly, “Oh yeah?” Tobin nods in assent. Christen frowns a little and says in a stern voice, “I didn’t like the way you talked to that girl though. Even though she was hitting on you, which I admit I didn’t like, you didn’t have to be so mean.”

Tobin drops her head in the crook of Christen’s neck in shame. “M’sorry,” she mumbles pitifully, “She’s just been trying to get with me for so long and it’s been getting tiring.”

Christen shakes her head, “Still, you know you’re mine, so you can always just be nice and tell her that you’re taken or uninterested.”

"You're mine." Tobin can't stop grinning at the thought. "I'm so lucky. Everytime that girls came up to me, I always compared them to you. How silly your beautiful intelligence makes them look. How plain your beauty makes them look. I'm so so lucky."

Christen melts at her words and wraps Tobin in her arms. Tobin sighs and stays in Christen’s arms for a second. "I love you," she hears Christen sigh. Tobin replies, "I love you more" and then mischievously licks her collarbones. Christen squeals and backs away from Tobin. She pulls her back in but before she can kiss Christen again, she hears her friends say, “What… the… heck.”

“All this time Tobito?! You really had me fooled.”

“Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was fun. i won't be able to update until later this week, sadly. school is starting back up :) feedback and kudos are appreciated


	9. drop it like its hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tobin owns a bakery with her friends. christen moves into the shop across the street and one thing leads to another

Tobin is extremely clumsy. Not the best trait to have when you’re a full time baker. That’s what her coworkers continuously remind her, although they’re just poking for fun. They know that Tobin is the best baker they have, her famous white macadamia nut cookies keep business going. However, her ex despised her clumsiness and often berated her with harsh word whenever she had broken multiple vases and dishes. In fact, that was part of the reason why she had broken up with Tobin, something along the lines of, “It’s embarrassing for me” _(Tobin doesn’t tell anybody how relieved she felt when that horrific woman left her life for good)_. But she knows how unattractive it is, being a klutz, _(“It’s not cute, Tobito!” Kelley yelled at her when she had tripped over her feet in front of pretty girls.)_ So she tries. She really does. Whenever she’s walking with something in her hands, or just walking in general, she focuses on putting one foot in front of the other and not to be distracted by anything that comes her way.

And it works. Until Allie forces her to bring her cookies over to their new neighbor.

\-------------

Tobin groans, “Seriously, Al? I’m busy!”

Allie grins, “Uh, no you’re not.”

Tobin stares at her pointedly and then gestures at her Nintendo Switch. “Uh, yes I am.”

Allie takes a bag filled with Tobin’s macadamia nut cookies and some choice bits of chocolate and shakes it in front of Tobin’s face.

Tobin pushes it aside and continues to play on her switch. “Okay… you’re showing me that for what?”

Allie sighs and snatches the game out of Tobin’s hand, ignoring the indignant cry of ‘hey!’, and tosses it to the side.

“Watch it, Harry! That shit overpriced and I don’t want to have to pay for another one.”

Allie brushes off the whining and says, “I want you to bring this over to the new neighbor. I just saw them getting finished with unpacking and decorating the shop. Bring this over as a token of friendship.”

If you want to bring over pastries, then do it yourself.”

Allie pushes the bag of treats into Tobin’s hands. “Yes, seriously! You always love giving things to people, and these people might be in desperate need of friends. And what better way to make friends than giving your world famous cookies as a gift?”

Tobin blushes but takes the bag in her hands dejectedly, “They aren’t world famous, Al. And fine, if you’re so freaking hung up about it, then I’ll do it.”

Allie squeals and claps her hands. “Thanks man! What a saint!” There’s a mischievous glint in her eye and it unnerves Tobin for some reason. She shakes it off though and makes her way through the front doors of the bakery and walking across the street to the new shop. She feels awkward, her hair messy with a beanie sloppily put over the top and a flour dusted hoodie. Tobin stops in front of the shop and takes it in. _Seems like this is a …._ Tobin looks at the sign "a tattoo shop" _That’s dope, this might be a good place to get Kelley and Allie’s faces tattooed on my ass_. She snickers to herself and pushes through the door.

Things went downhill from there. Tobin is halfway through the door when the most beautiful woman she has ever seen looks up, curly hair falling out of her messy bun and tattooed arms raised in greeting. Tobin is so entranced with the light green-grey eyes that she doesn’t notice there’s a box in front of her. Apparently, the girl notices and her eyes widen and her mouth opens in warning when Tobin trips over it and falls to the floor ungracefully.

She hears the bag of cookies bust open and all the pastries come flooding out. Her legs are tangled with each other and Tobin doesn’t think she’s ever been this embarrassed. She hears the girl cry out to her frantically and to protect her dignity, she puts her arm over her eyes to shield the pitiful sight.

Tobin lays there motionless, not capable of moving from the sheer embarrassment, and the girl worries, “Oh my god, are you okay?! I’m so sorry I really shouldn’t have put that box there.”

Tobin huffs and mumbles, “Oh, physically, I’m fine. My pride? As bruised as it can be.”

The girl can’t help but giggle and lift Tobin’s arm up from her face. She’s forced to take in the girl’s beautiful features, every freckle and laugh line, her sharp cheekbones and impossibly long eyelashes. The girl sees her staring and blushes prettily. Tobin mumbles, “You’re pretty…” and the girl shakes her head, “Again, I’m sorry. I-“

She’s interrupted by a loud laugh and some banging (probably one of those people who feel the need to hit things when they laugh). The mysterious person howls, “That was HILARIOUS. I mean, wow, that’s exactly what I needed to see today. That was quite a fall there bro!”

Tobin groans and wills the ground to have mercy on her and swallow her up, cookies and all. She hears the girl admonishing her friend. _“Ashlyn, seriously?! She brought over cookies for us and had a freak accident and you’re laughing?!”_ And Ashlyn replying, _“My bad! I can’t help the things that come out of my mouth!”_

“I’m so sorry about my friend. Sometimes she can’t control herself.” The girl apologizes as she offers to help Tobin off the floor. Tobin takes her outstretched hand and notices how warm and soft they are.

“S’okay.” Tobin mutters, cheeks still burning red. “I want to laugh at myself too but my pride can’t take that.” The girl still look uneasy and worried, not even cracking a slight smile at Tobin’s attempt to lighten up the situation. “I’m Tobin, by the way. I’m super clumsy, as you can tell, and I work at the bakery across the street.” Tobin points her thumb towards her shop.

The girl finally smiles easily and replies, “I’m Christen. This is my tattoo shop that obviously needs a little more work,” she gestures to the dusty shelves and horrific wallpaper. “I appreciate the gesture, you know, bringing over cookies. I really wish we could’ve been able to eat them.” Her eyes linger longingly at the cookies on the floor.

Tobin shrugs shyly, “I’ll bring over some to you tomorrow. Those cookies are my favorite you know? But if you don’t like macadamia nut then you can get something else. Oh crap, I didn’t even ask if you were allergic to nuts. That would be bad if you were I wouldn’t-“

She stops in the middle of her nervous ramble when she sees Christen looking at her adoringly. Tobin takes a deep breath and gets back on track, I would do it now but…” she nods over to the line in the bakery, “it seems I would be a little busy. My coworkers and I just wanted to welcome you here. I’m sorry for causing such a scene, I know its not the best first impression. I’ll get out your hair now.”

Christen reassures her that it’s fine, and honestly quite cute. Tobin’s flight mode was settling in and she starts to backpedal, trying to escape the beautiful scrutinizing eyes when she bumps into the doorframe. “Crap!” Christen’s friend laughs again and Christen winces but smiles fondly. Tobin can’t take any more of the mortification and bolts out the door. She misses the green eyes following her all the way back to the bakery because she’s trying too hard to focus on not tripping in the middle of the street.

Christen sighs and turns around. “Clean up the cookies, Ashlyn” and she guffaws at the outrageous scoff that follows. “Oh sure, of course I will my queen, would you like me to lick the floor while I’m at it? Jesus Christ.”

\-----------

Tobin runs into the bakery, passes the line of customers and an overwhelmed Kelley, and goes into the kitchen. She storms up to Allie with stormy eyes.

Allie is taken aback by the aggressiveness and asks, concerned, “Uh, Toby? What’s up?”

Tobin snaps, “Don’t call me Toby! I hate that nickname. And what’s up?! Seriously, Al, it’s like you’re setting me up for embarrassment. And loss of dignity.”

Allie wipes her flour-encrusted hands on her apron and looks at Tobin with worried eyes, “Wait, what did I do? What happened at the new shop?”

Tobin points at her with an accusing voice, “You knew I wasn’t going to be able to control myself around that girl,” Allie smirks with the new realization, “And I freaking tripped and laid out in front of her _ungracefully_ like I swear you could’ve mistaken me for a gorilla and the bag of freaking cookies exploded everywhere and her friend laughed at me and I was so embarrassed and-“

Allie breaks her out of her rant, laughing, “Wait, Harry! You fell?! And busted the bag open? In front of an insanely pretty girl. Oh man, I might need to go apologize to her for having to see an elephant in its natural habitat up close and personal.”

Tobin scowls but can’t help but laugh. “Oh man, Harry, that was so SO bad. I swear, she was so pretty and I made the worst first impression ever.”

Allie was wheezing by now, “I can’t… I can’t get this image out of my mind.” She wipes the tears from her eyes and says, “Here, tomorrow you can bring her another bag of cookies and hopefully put on some of that Heath charm, you know what I’m saying?”

Tobin rolls her eyes, “Yeah, sure, whatever. Maybe I can go salvage whatever dignity I have left.”

Allie pats her on the butt and shoves her to a table. “Get cooking, good looking.”

\-------------

Tobin doesn’t go to Christen’s shop the next day. In fact, she doesn’t go to deliver her promised cookies for nearly a couple weeks. Her pride wouldn’t let her and when she’s decided on something, nobody can change her mind. Allie had given up days ago trying to convince her to go across the street.

But Tobin persists on not going, and she forces herself to not look across the street at her neighbor. She busies herself with a large shipment of orders for a wedding and tries her hardest to forget about a certain pair of green eyes.

Meanwhile, Christen looks constantly at the bakery, trying to catch a glimpse of the adorable brunette that had fallen into her life (pun intended). She’s hurt, that much she can admit, because she feels like Tobin didn’t care for her enough to bring over the promised cookies. She knows that’s crazy, they’ve exchanged one conversation and how on earth was that supposed to spark any remote kind of friendship? But even with that reasoning, her heart falls a little every day that passes without the brunette’s presence.

After the second week, Christen’s fed up. After she finishes her 4 PM appointment, she calls out to Ashlyn that she’s going out for a smoke. She walks over to the bakery and opens the door, bells jingling. Immediately she’s engulfed with the sweet smell of chocolate and cream and everything sweet. Especially with the slight chill outside, the bakery was comfortingly warm.

She hears a husky, feminine voice yell, “I’ll be with you in a second!”

Christen takes this time to look around at the cozy bakery. The tables are wooden and the chairs have dessert themed cushions. She notes the Christmas lights hanging on the walls and adores the wooden shaped animals resting on the windowpane. She hears the sound of footsteps and turns to meet brown eyes.

Tobin freezes and stutters, “Oh crap uh… h-hi Christen. W-what brings you here today?”

Christen can’t help but smile endearingly at the shy girl and teases, “Oh nothing, I was just coming by to collect my cookies that a certain someone promised me a couple weeks ago.”

Tobin blushes wildly, “Oh geez, Chris, I’m sorry. I meant to bring them a while ago but…” she gestures to Christen.

“But…?” Christen pushes.

Tobin scratches her neck and pushes up her glasses, “Have you seen you? Especially after that first impression, I was so sure you didn’t want to see me again.”

Christen giggles and takes a step closer to Tobin. She rests her hand on Tobin’s forearm and says, “Oh, I did want to see you again. I’ve been disappointed at your absence at my shop lately. You’re first impression was adorable, I mean it was concerning, but adorable and cute.”

Tobin turns redder. “Okay well, I’ll give you any cookies you want on the house. For avoiding you for two weeks.”

Christen nods in agreement and chooses an assortment of cookies. Tobin wraps it in a cute baggie and hands it to her. She takes it with a blush dusting her cheekbones and Tobin is utterly entranced with the beautiful woman in front of her. Tobin feels a newfound rush of confidence and before Christen leaves, she takes her hand and kisses it.

“I’ll be sure to stop by more often.” Tobin promises. Christen, who was in shock (but happily shocked), smiles and says, “Likewise. I’ll see you later, Tobin.”

She leaves with a smile on her face and when she enters the tattoo shop Ashlyn looks suspiciously at the blush on Christen’s face and bag of cookies. “So, I’m guessing you didn’t go out for a smoke?”

\--------------

Tobin and Christen become close friends. In the following days, Tobin makes a point to visit Christen as often as possible. Christen does the same, ordering small pastries to share with Tobin. Tobin has also gotten better at not falling on her face in front of Christen, being more careful because she doesn’t know if she can survive that much embarrassment again.

They ignore their growing feelings for each other. Christen ignores the way her heart lights up whenever the lanky brunette stumbles through the front doors of her shop and Tobin pretends that she doesn’t stare longingly at the tattoo-artist when she isn’t looking. Both are too shy and scared to make any first moves and they are content to where they are now. So they ignore the fleeting glances, lingering touches, and flirty words.

Allie, who was been watching these interactions for the past few months, is finally fed up. She had given Tobin the chance to come to her about her feelings for Christen but it seems that the day would never come. So, Allie does what she does best; dramatic intervening.

She forces Tobin to wake up early and go on a run. And after an excruciatingly fast-paced 5k, she drags her to the bakery without warning.

Tobin is still breathing hard, “What the hell, Harry? You made me run all the way to the bakery? If you wanted to go, we could’ve just drove!” Her hands are on her knees as she heaves breaths and notes _damn, I really need to start running again. Gotta run off those cookies..._ Allie glares at her and says accusingly, “Why haven’t you told me you have eyes for a certain tattoo-artist?”

Tobin looks up innocently, “Ashlyn?”

Allie rolls her eyes and snaps, “Christen, you idiot. Why haven’t you told me, or better yet, why haven’t you asked her out?”

Tobin’s eyes widen and she pulls her hands up defensively, “Okay, first of all, I knew you already knew, I mean you’re my best friend you know everything that goes through my brain,” she ponders, “That’s actually freakishly scary…”

Allie is impatient, “Tobin, of course I already knew but at least you should’ve talked to me about it! You know how long it’s been since you had any kind of interest in a girl?”

Tobin shrugs sheepishly, “Sorry ‘bout that. I forget how nosy” you are sometimes. And what do you mean ‘asking her out’? She doesn’t even like me like that!”

Allie gapes at her, places her hands on Tobin’s shoulders, and says disbelievingly, “You really don’t see it? Dude, that girl looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky!”

Tobin smiles sadly, “Don’t get my hopes up. She’s straight and probably seeing someone right now. I’m happy being her friend, I swear.”

Allie smirks, “Oh but you see, she isn’t straight and she isn’t seeing someone right now. And I know for a damn fact you are not happy with being just her friend. Come on bud,” she pulls a speechless Tobin into the kitchen, “I have a plan.”

\----------

A couplehours go by and Tobin is confused. In her hands is a bee-shaped cake, decorations and all, and Tobin doesn’t know what to do with it. “Uh… Al?”

Allie hums from the fridge, “Hm?”

Tobin holds the cake up to her eye level, “Why did we make this at 6 AM in the morning?”

Allie pokes her head out, “To give to Christen, silly! Now…” she holds up another bag of icing, “you need to spell 'will you bee mine?' all nice and pretty. Y'know the bee cake and 'will you bee mine?' it's hilarious I know.”

Tobin shakes her head vehemently, “No, no, no, absolutely not. Are you crazy?”

Allie says excitedly, “This is the most perfect way to ask her out! With the prettiest cake and cutest face, which is yours obviously, how could she possibly say no?”

Tobin sighs and proceeds to do the task, “Might as well, right? If everything goes wrong, at least someone gets to enjoy this cake. It really is cute though…”

She finishes icing the words and grins. “Okay, so when do I do this? Wait! Allie, go get me flowers!”

Allie salutes, “On it boss. Try to shower or get a change of clothes, y’know, freshen up a little.”

\-----------

Tobin rocks on the balls of her feet anxiously. The cake is in one of her hands and a bouquet of flowers is in the other. She’s wearing a flannel jacket and jeans, not trying to seem overeager or give away anything special is happening. She takes a deep breath and enters the shop.

“Tobs? Is that you?” she hears Christen call.

“Yup!” Tobin makes her way to the sound of Christen’s voice. As she comes into view, Christen lights up at the bee-shaped cake and flowers. Her eyes visibly brightens and a smile grows on her face as Tobin shuffles shyly towards her. She says hurriedly, “Allie dragged me out of bed at 4 AM this morning to make you this cake, which I assure you is delicious I promise I’m not going to poison you, and get you flowers because she wanted me to-“

Tobin skids across the floor and falls to the ground. Her hands loses its grip on the cake and flowers and all of it goes flying. Tobin watches helplessly as the cake makes contact with the newly-scrubbed floors. Christen’s hands fly to her mouth in shock and hurries over to the girl.

“Oh my god, Toby, are you ok?!” She squats down next to Tobin, who lays there in mortification.

“I’m so over this…” Tobin mumbles and Christen can’t help but giggle. “I was trying to ask you something all cool and suave and then…” she gestures to the fallen cake and flowers.

Christen tucks a piece of Tobin’s hair behind her ear and smiles gently, “Don’t worry, you’re still cool to me.”

They smile adoringly at each other for a second and then Christen asks curiously, “What were you going to ask me?”

Tobin blushes furiously and has to fight the sudden urge to either bolt from the situation or make up a lie. She takes a deep breath and shyly asks, “I just wanted to ask if you wanted to _bee_ mine?” emphasizing on the word _bee_. She starts to freak out when Christen’s eyebrows scrunch together in confusion and her heart is heavy with the mind-numbing embarrassment. She rambles, “I mean, I made the cake in the shape of a bee, y’know? And I was just gonna ask ‘do you wanna bee mine?’ but uh, oh god, it’s clear you don’t get it-“

Christen places a delicate finger on Tobin’s lips and grins down at her. “Awhhh, that’s so cute, Toby. Of course I’ll bee yours.”

Tobin is frozen, trying to take in Christen's words. Christen sits back and waits for the words to register to the brunette. Tobin slowly begins to grin widely and she proceeds to pull Christen on top of her. Tobin look up at Christen for permission, but Christen is already leaning into kiss her out of pure joy. It’s soft. It’s beautiful. It’s full of desire and pent-up feelings and both can’t remember a kiss ever feeling like this. Their lips move in tandem and Christen’s tattooed hand finds its way to Tobin’s neck and cradles her head gently. Tobin wraps her lanky arms around Christen’s butt and pulls away smirking, “Wow, I really _landed_ two _hot cookies_.”

Ashlyn, who was watching from the back lounge, fake gags and yells, “Get a room!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took a little longer. i've had school for a while but some news: i got quarantined so i will be learning at home for a while (which equals more updates ig)  
> comments and kudos are appreciated :)


	10. you take my breath away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tobin is at Christen's photoshoot with Alice and Olivia and she really really doesn't know what to do with herself.

Tobin wanders into the pretty boutique. Her hair is rumpled from the wind and she doesn’t bother to smooth it down, recalling when Christen thought it was ‘hot as hell’. She has on Christen’s Vehements sweatpants and an old US soccer hoodie. She checks the time on her phone to make sure she was the slightest bit early like her girlfriend had requested.

Christen was doing a photoshoot with the brand “Alice and Olivia” and she wanted Tobin and Megan to come to it. Knowing Megan, she would be running a few minutes late, probably going to pick up some iced coffee. Tobin prays that she would be considerate enough to bring a coffee for her as well because Tobin doesn’t do well with photoshoots. She quickly gets bored of them, especially if she’s not the one participating.

Tobin meanders about, avoiding the set pieces for the shoot, and cranes her neck to find Christen. Her attempts are fruitless because there are quite a few people in the studio. She’s about to call Christen and ask where she is when a pair of tanned hands cover her eyesight.

A breath wisps across her ear and she shivers, “Guess who?”

Tobin ponders teasingly and replies, “Side chick, is that you?”

The hands leave Tobin’s face and she turns around with a wild grin. Christen is wearing a white robe, her hair already straightened and curled loosely, and her makeup half-done. She’s pouting adorable as she waits for Tobin to correct herself. Tobin is quick to redeem her words and leans in for a kiss.

“Hi oh sweet love of mine,” she coos against Christen’s now-smiling lips, “you look absolutely stunning.”

Christen giggles, “I’m not even dressed up yet and my makeup is not even done yet!”

Tobin pulls back and studies Christen’s face intently. She blushes under Tobin’s scrutiny and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear self-consciously, “What?”

Tobin shakes her head, almost disbelievingly. “You’re quite possibly the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire life, even with your half-done makeup. How did I get so lucky?”

Christen rolls her eyes, but leans in to peck Tobin’s lips nonetheless. “Such a charmer.” She looks past Tobin’s shoulder and looks back apologetically, “Hate to break this moment, but I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you on set, yeah?”

Tobin nods and leans into Christen’s hand that was caressing the side of her face, “I love you.”

Tobin mumbles, “I love you more.”

Christen smiles lovingly then leaves and Tobin wanders around aimlessly. She contemplates going out for a smoke whilst waiting for Megan when the devil herself struts through the doors.

“Oh, To-binnnnn!” Megan calls. “Where are you?”

Tobin shuffles over to the woman and sneers, “Do you really have to be so loud?” She looks at Megan’s coffee and notes there’s only one. “And you didn’t bring me a coffee?”

Megan narrows her eyes, “Uh, you didn’t tell me too! I’m not a psychic.”

Tobin huffs, “This is going to be one long day.”

Megan flops down on one of the metal chairs facing the set. Tobin sits down heavily and fiddles with her phone as Megan goes off on some rant about what this dude said to her at the grocery store. “He had the audacity to-“

Tobin tunes out and all of her attention is centered on a particular person. Her mouth drops open and her eyes widen. Christen is walking onto the set in a long leather coat with an open chest, allowing everybody the clear view of perfect tanned skin. Her face is meticulously done up to where her green eyes pop out again black eyeliner and her pink lips are glossy and full. On her delicate neck sits a gold chain and as Tobin’s eyes wander lower, her throat dries up more. Christen has a leopard print short skirt on and over the knee-high leather boots that match her coat. That combination makes her look tall, sexy, elegant, and beautiful.

“Breathe, Tobs, breathe…” Megan coaxes as she realizes Tobin hasn’t taken a breath for a solid minute. Apparently, Tobin isn’t the only one entranced by her girlfriend. Many heads turn and something like awe and wonder fill the atmosphere as everybody takes in the beautiful woman. Christen shyly makes her way to the red-velvet couch and sits on it, waiting for further instructions.

Turns out, Tobin doesn’t need coffee anymore.

\---------------

It’s torture to watch Christen move about the furniture, trying different seductive positions as instructed by the photographer. Her eyes follow every movement of those strong thighs and every wave of the elegant hands. She takes in every inch of her girlfriend laying on the couch and sometimes Christen catches her staring. She gives Tobin a shy smile, almost like she’s self-conscious of the way she looks. Tobin wants more than anything to reassure her that she looks drop-dead amazing, but instructions say nobody besides the model and photographer is allowed on the set.

Christen then changes into a leopard print baby tee, champagne colored silk pants, and high ankles boots. She has a fur coat draped over her long arms and Tobin feels like she’s going to faint. As quick as that outfit is put on, another one is placed on Christen’s body, this time a open chest green suit. It’s almost unreal how gorgeous her girlfriend looks in everything. While she is stunning in these expensive get-ups, she’s also beautiful is sweaty kits and baggy hoodies with no makeup on and hair natural. Tobin just loves her in everything in every way. (though she admits Christen naked in their bed is her favorite.)

Time passes quickly and before Tobin knows it, the shoot is over and Megan is patting her on the back in farewell. “I’m sorry I can’t stay any longer, Sue needs me to cook dinner.” Tobin nods in assent and bids her friend goodbye. “Tell Christen she looked amazing!”

 _Oh I will_ she thinks. She scrolls through her phone and bounces her leg impatiently, waiting for Christen to finish up. A warm hand lays on her knee, effectively ending the bouncing and Tobin looks up to adoring green eyes. “Ready to go, love?” Christen questions.

Tobin pulls herself up from the chair and takes Christen’s hand. “Absolutely.”

\-------------

They enter the apartment and Tobin makes a move to go to the fridge to find dinner when she feels a tug on her hand.

Tobin turns around questioningly and Christen asks in a small voice, “Did you enjoy it?”

Tobin smiles lovingly and wraps her arms around her lover’s waist. “Of course I did, babe.”

Christen still looks unsure of herself, “Did I look alright to you?”

Tobin sways Christen side to side, “You looked fantastic. Fabulous. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Sexy. Angelic. Shall I continue?”

Christen blushes, “Stop… you’re only saying that because I’m your girlfriend.”

Tobin scoffs indignantly, “I’m saying that because I’m your girlfriend! I mean, you really knocked everybody in that studio out. You looked _that_ good. In fact…” she starts to shuffle both of them to their bedroom, “I’ll show you how good you looked.”

Christen giggles. Tobin never fails to make her feel special. She jumps in Tobin’s arms, quickly wrapping her legs around Tobin’s waist. Tobin kicks open the door and lays her down, ready to give her some well-deserved lovin’.

\-------------

They lay in bed, naked and breathless, spent from their activities from the past couple hours. They attempt to cuddle and sleep, but Christen’s stomach growls for nth time. Tobin sighs, “Do you want some food, love?”

Christen nods sweetly to Tobin and watches as Tobin dresses in the same outfit she had worn earlier (the same outfit Christen tore off of Tobin as soon as she could). Tobin makes her way to the kitchen and starts boiling water for pasta.

Christen lays in bed feeling euphoric, special, and star-struck. She still can’t get over how Tobin makes her feel because she knows how genuine her sweet girlfriend is and she knows how much Tobin loves her. Christen loves her so much, she can’t bear to be apart from her more than a few minutes at a time (and when they’re with their respective club teams, it’s the worst time for the both of them). Christen already begins to crave Tobin’s touch again so she throws on a pair of boxers and a sweatshirt (both belong to Tobin) and skips to the kitchen.

She finds her girlfriend stirring tomato sauce on the stove and she rests her arms around Tobin’s waist. She buries her face in Tobin’s shoulder blades and inhales her sweet scent. “God, I love you so much,” she murmurs.

Tobin smiles and turns in Christen’s arms. She nuzzles their noses together and runs her hand through Christen’s hair. “I love you more.”

Tobin takes one of Christen’s hands and places it on her shoulder. She takes her other hand and holds it gently. “Dance with me,” she says softly. She starts to hum a random melody and sways the two side to side. They sway around the kitchen, softly exchanging kisses and whispers. They’re so in love and so deep into their little bubble it takes a second to register the burning smell.

“Shit!” Tobin yelps. She releases Christen from her grasp and turns off the stove hurriedly. She stares in dismay at the burned tomato sauce and looks sheepishly at her amused girlfriend. “Want to order some takeout?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> christen had a photoshoot with the brand "alice and olivia" and oh my god, those pictures blow me away. if you guys haven't seen them, you need to go look. she looks absolutely stunning in every picture.  
> as always, feedback and kudos are appreciated! (lets hope i dont have covid, day 2 of quarantine!)


	11. something different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tobin is a partier. she smokes and sleeps around and she thinks that's how her life is going to be. in comes an unexpected person to save the day. (and tobin's heart)

Tobin takes one last drag of her cigarette before tossing it to the ground and stomping on it. It’s the last first day of her high school career, and she can’t wait till she gets her diploma and get the hell out of this small town. She checks her reflection on a window, checking to make sure her hickeys are hidden from the last girl she had in her bed. She runs her hand through her brown hair and trudges into the school.

As she walks through the halls, her eyes crane to find her friends. She smirks and nods her head in greeting to the people who stare at her. Her eyes glaze over the many girls eyeing her, none of them important enough to have a second thought of. However, as she heads into first period (seriously whoever invented calculus is a psycho) she zeroes in on a girl. Standing in the doorway, Tobin observes her talking to her friend, hands moving animatedly. Her eyes rake over the girl, noting her wild curls (she must leave it all natural, Tobin thinks), green-grey eyes with long eyelashes, freckles scattered over her slightly crooked nose, Tobin is dumbfounded at her beauty.

Tobin knows that she’s attractive, the many girls she brings into her bed is proof, and she knows she’s intimidating enough. Even though she doesn’t admit it, she relishes having that power over the students. However, when the girl’s striking eyes land on her, seemingly analyzing and scrutinizing her, Tobin feels small. Whatever confidence she had whenever she walked into the school vanished under the girl’s curious gaze.

Tobin gulps and shuffles past the girl to the back of the classroom. The girl continues her conversation with her friend, seemingly unfazed by Tobin. Tobin continues to stare at the girl from the back, silently admiring her. She’s broken out of her trance when a hand slaps her upside the head.

Tobin rubs her head and glares at Kelley, “Seriously?”

Kelley shrugs, “You were in some weird trance. You didn’t even notice when I came in.”

Tobin retorts, “Why would I even notice? You’re like annoying background noise.”

Kelley shoves her and takes her seat next to Tobin. “Shut up, you were staring at Christen and it really unnerved me.”

Tobin blinks, “That’s her name?”

Kelley nods and looks at her with pointed eyes, “Yeah, but she’s like way out of your league, so don’t even think about it.”

Tobin snaps, “I wasn’t. Just wondering.”

Kelley cackles at Tobin’s blush, “Sure, bud. Anyways, do you have a smoke? I ran out yesterday and forgot to grab another pack.”

Tobin notices the change of subject and is grateful, “Yeah, I have a couple more. We can smoke them during lunch today.”

“Okay, at the same place as last year?”

“Yeah, let Claire and Megan know.” Tobin turns her attention back to the front of the room, pretending to pay attention to roll call but instead admiring Christen, _such a pretty name, which is fitting_ Tobin thinks.

Class starts and when the teacher look upon the seating chart, her eyes narrow at Kelley and Tobin who were smiling innocently at her.

“Oh uh-uh, this isn’t going to work,” the teacher gestures between the two. The class turns their attention to the pair and Tobin purposefully avoid looking at a certain pair of green eyes. She scoffs indignantly and Kelley protests, “C’mon miss, just give us one chance. I know our teachers last year had a few things to say about us, but I promised we’re changed people! Give us one chance!” She puts her hand in a praying motion and sticks her bottom lip out. She nudges Tobin to follow her lead and Tobin is embarrassed she has to act like this in front of Christen but she gets into the act. As she pouts hard and tilts her head like a 5-year old child, the class laughs at their antics, but an angelic one pushes to Tobin’s ears and her eyes involuntarily lands on Christen, who’s trying to stifle an amused giggle.

Tobin’s confidence surges and she’s about to butter the teacher up more when she sighs, “Fine, one chance. If you ruin it, you’re not sitting next to each other for the rest of the year.”

Kelley brightens, “Deal!”

The class turns to get back to work and Kelley decides to behave for the time-being (Tobin thanks God for that). However, Kelley starts to get antsy, never being the one to sit still and listen for long. She takes her syllabus and folds it up into a dope airplane and aims it at Emily, who’s sitting a few rows in front of them. Tobin doesn’t notice what she’s doing, too enamored with the back of Christen’s head (and whenever Christen looks back at her, she pretends to look up at the ceiling). As Kelley’s hand rears back to throw the plane, Tobin’s eyes catch onto the movement and widen, frantically trying to silently tell her not to do it.

But of course, Kelley doesn’t listen or chooses to ignore the pointed glare from her best friend, and she throws it. She’s a terrible shot and even more so a terrible decision-maker because the plane hits the back of Christen’s head and she yelps. Tobin cringes and immediately turns on Kelley, pulling and pushing at her.

The teacher turns back from the whiteboard and glares at the giggling Kelley. Kelley tries to apologize between laughs and the teacher has had enough. “You’re a senior in high school, yet you continue to act like a two-year old. Tobin,” Tobin’s head snaps up, “Come trade places with Julie.”

Tobin shrugs sheepishly, “Uh, I don’t know who that is.”

The blonde whom Christen was talking to whips around and glares at Tobin who raises her hands defensively, “Oh, you mean the chick next to Christen?”

Christen’s eyes widen, possibly shocked that Tobin knows her name (she had a reputation for not knowing anybody’s name, probably because she doesn’t care.) Christen turns away quickly, trying to hide her blush and internally prays she doesn’t make a fool of herself of Tobin. _Tobin_ , she thinks, _incredibly hot and adorable Tobin, who I’ve had a crush on since freshmen year. This girl is terrible to everybody though,_ she thinks, _so why the hell do I even like her?_ She shakes her thoughts from her head and pretends to be extremely interested in her Converse as Tobin makes her way to Julie’s seat.

Julie pats her sympathetically on the back and leaves. She hears the chair scrape the floor and Kelley begging the teacher for one more chance. Her head pops up when she hears Tobin say softly to her, “I’m sorry that Kelley’s an idiot. Are you okay?”

Christen fights a grin and says amusedly, “Yeah, I mean, a paper airplane does tons of damage to a person but I lucked out and survived.”

Tobin blushes and turns back to the front. Christen takes this time to look at Tobin (and she’s never really had the chance, since they’ve never crossed paths in four years). She notices Tobin’s chapped lips, amber eyes with impossibly long eyelashes that brushes her cheek when she blinks, and the tattoos from her neck. She whips her gaze away, embarrassed at staring at her so blatantly and focuses on the practice problems the teacher laid out for her.

Their elbows bump a few times with Tobin being left-handed and Christen being right. They mumble apologies and Christen whispers tips to help Tobin since Tobin never really paid attention in Pre-Calculus. They try to fight down the warm feeling growing in their chests and Christen feels like she’s on Cloud 9 when Tobin turns to her with a smile after a particularly difficult problem. The period passes by too quickly and Tobin is reluctant to leave the warm bubble they have created.

She turns to bid farewell to her new friend but Kelley pulls her out of the room too quickly. As they walk to their next class together, Kelley rambles about some stupid stunt she and Megan pulled on the Publix employees but all Tobin can think about was Christen.

\---------------

Lunchtime comes and Tobin hurries out to the football field to meet her friends. She stands in the middle of the field, trying to catch sight of Kelley when a flash of curly hair catches in her peripheral vision. Her gaze settles on Christen who was walking with Julie and seemingly amused by Julie’s words. Christen’s head is thrown back in laughter and her glasses slide a little off to the side and Tobin is entranced by her.

She suddenly gets pulled behind the bleachers and meets the eyes of her expectant friends. “Oh, sorry guys, I got distracted.” Tobin mutters.

Megan looks at her unconvinced and Kelley snarks, “Yeah, distracted by a certain Christen Press.”

Kelley wiggles her eyebrows and Claire scowls, “Christen Press? The know-it-all?”

Tobin frowns, “She’s not a know-it-all. She’s just smart.”

Kelley pipes up, “And pretty!”

That makes Claire scowl even more as she mutters, “She’s not that pretty. I mean, please, the glasses and frizzy hair that’s in desperate need of some product? The desperate need of some perfume? The desperate need of a life? She literally has no life, it just revolves around books and nerdy stuff. Also, I’m pretty sure she wears the same outfit twice a week.”

It’s no secret that all of their parents are well off and they never make a point of it. They’re low-key, wearing normal clothing and driving normal cars but Claire, who is the best-off, flaunts her wealth. She goes shopping every other weekend to buy name-brand clothes that she only wears once and then tosses away. While Claire is also not a jerk (most of the time) her friends know that the reason why she’s being a bitch is because she’s still not over her and Tobin’s breakup.

They had been dating for a few months and while that had been the most boring months of Tobin’s life, it was Claire’s best. She was completely enamored with Tobin and was happy in their relationship. Tobin only stayed with her because she was her friend and didn’t want to hurt her but it all became too much in the end.

Megan notices Tobin tensing up and tries to interject but they all stop when they hear a sniffle. Tobin whips around see’s Julie standing next to the bleachers. Her eyes travel past Julie (who looked like she was going to kill Claire) and a sense of dread fills Tobin. Christen is walking away hurriedly and seems to be wiping away tears.

Tobin looks back at Claire with rage in her eyes. Kelley and Megan look at her with disappointment and Claire looks shameful. “Are you happy now?” Tobin spits. She doesn’t wait for an answer and sprints in pursuit of Christen.

It takes a while to find Christen through the crowded halls but she’s finally able to locate her in the bathroom. Tobin opens the door quietly and whispers, “Christen? Are you in here?”

She listens for a second and is about to leave the bathroom when she hears a sneeze and a “Shit.”

Tobin goes to the closed stall and knocks gently, “Christen?”

A tearful, “What?” comes through.

Tobin feels a little heartbreak at the sad tone from Christen. “Can we talk?”

There’s silence for a second and then a small, “Okay.”

Tobin goes to the bathroom entrance and locks it, not wanting anybody to intrude. She leans against the wall and watches the stall door creak open. It reveals Christen was teary eyes and red cheeks (she’s still stunning, Tobin thinks). She holds out a hand for Christen to take, surprising herself and Christen with her compassion (something she’s not known for). Christen takes it gently and Tobin pulls her to the ground alongside her.

Tobin tilts her head to meet Christen’s eyes, “I’m sorry Claire said all that. It was really out of line and extremely hurtful. I promise you she didn’t mean it.”

Hate fires in Christen’s eyes, “She did mean it and she should be the one apologizing, not you.”

Tobin nods in agreement, “You’re right and I’m gonna make damn sure she does. But I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Christen sighs, “I don’t know… I always made a point not to listen to what other people say. But…” she contemplates whether to tell Tobin or not. She looks at Tobin’s honest and earnest brown eyes and sighs, “My family is going through some hard stuff right now. And I’ve been working a part-time job at a burger joint to help them out. So yeah,” she scoffs, “I’ve been wearing the same outfit twice a week because I can’t really afford to get any new ones any time soon. And I ‘have no life’ because I want to support my family with a good job that I can only get if I do well in school.”

Christen’s lip trembles and she starts to shake from the overload of stress. Tobin can’t help it. She brings Christen into a hug and allows Christen to break down in her chest. Tobin makes soothing noises and rocks her back and forth and mushes her face into the side of Christen’s head (she notes that Christen smells of flowers and is extremely addicting.) Christen cries out all her stress and hurt and it takes a good ten minutes until she’s all cried out. Tobin keeps her in a hug, not wanting to admit how good it felt.

After a few more minutes, there’s a pounding on the bathroom door and Tobin sighs. She looks at Christen and asks, “Okay, we have to get to class now. Are you good?”

Christen can’t help but smile at the concern, “Yeah, yeah,” she’s a little embarrassed for her breakdown but Tobin’s eyes assure her that she doesn’t mind one bit, “Sorry I went all crying on you.”

Tobin shrugs good-naturally. She stands up and offers a hand to Christen to help her up, “It’s no problem. Think of it as payback for helping me get that practice sheet done in calculus so I don’t have any homework.”

Christen teases, “Oh so you’re just using me as a math tutor.”

Tobin winks, “Maybe.”

They both head in separate directions but with big smiles on their faces.

\---------------

Tobin shows up to school with a newfound excitement. She always looks forward to first period with Christen because it was the highlight of her day. A couple weeks into the first semester, Tobin worked up the nerve to ask Christen for her number. From then, they were always calling or texting. The same day she got Christen’s number, Claire went up to Christen and profusely apologized. Christen was level-headed and kind, earning respect from Claire.

Christen was a great influence on Tobin. Megan and Kelley could not figure out how Christen could get Tobin to finish her assignments on time and actually study in advance. Whenever Kelley interrogated Tobin, she would just shrug and say, “I do whatever Chris asks of me.”

Tobin’s friends are shocked to say the least. It was hard to believe this girl who used to party all night, get high and drunk on the weekends, and sleep around transformed into a seemingly dedicated, focused student. They were relieved by this sudden change of character. They never were the partying types anyways, but they accompanied Tobin to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid.

It’s December and Tobin had just received her report card in the mail. She was ecstatic to see all A’s in her classes. Tobin bolts into the school and runs into first period. Christen’s eyes light up at the sight of her, but her eyes quickly twist in confusion as the brunette barrels towards her.

“Tobs-“ Christen lets out an oomph when Tobin wraps her up in a big hug.

“Chris, look at my report card!!” Tobin squeals.

Christen plucks the report card out of the giddy girl’s hand and a proud smile spreads across her face. She gushes, “I am so proud of you, Toby! I knew you could do it!”

Tobin is beaming so hard, her smile is starting to hurt her cheeks. Christen then leans in to press a gentle kiss to Tobin’s cheek, making Tobin grin even harder. A pretty blush stains their cheeks and they wrack their brains to say something.

Kelley pops in, “What’s going on here you elves?”

Christen rips her gaze away from Tobin, still blushing. “Nothing, I was just congratulating Tobin on her report card.”

Kelley shrieks, “I got mine too!” she reads through Tobin’s quickly and sighs in disappointment, “sad to say mine doesn’t look the same.”

Christen giggles, “Maybe if you paid more attention in class instead of staring at Emily all the time.”

Kelley gasps and places her hand over her heart dramatically, “Wow, Press, calling everybody out today huh?”

Tobin snaps out of her kiss-induced haze, “She’s just pointing out the truth, Kells.”

Kelley narrows her eyes, “Oh so pointing out the truth? Well let me point out that Tobin likes-“

Tobin slaps her hand over Kelley’s mouth, effectively shutting her up. She looks panicked and Kelley seems to read that in her friend’s eyes. Kelley removes Tobin’s hand and looks at Christen’s curious gaze.

Christen asks, “Likes who?”

Tobin internally winces and begs silently to Kelley to make up something. Kelley stammers, trying to think of something on the spot, “It’s not a ‘who’ Chrissy, it’s a what! And Tobin likes twerk on walls when she’s drunk!”

Tobin gasps and shoves at Kelley. Christen bursts out laughing and Tobin can’t help but soften. As Tobin tries to say more, the teacher starts class.

Tobin makes sure Christen is busy with work before pulling out her phone. She opens ‘Squirrel’ message thread.

 **Tobito Buritto** : _Seriously? That’s all you could come up with?_

 **Squirrel:** _Would you rather me tell her you like her?_

 **Tobito Burrito** : _No… but it really would’ve helped if you had said something like ‘Tobin likes to eat fries with no ketchup’ or something._

 **Squirrel:** _Don’t make me send her a video of you twerking you brat._

 **Tobito Buritto:** …

 **Squirrel:** _That’s what I thought. You’re welcome._

\------------

Tobin has been hyping herself up all week. After the cheek kiss from Christen, she decides she wants to ask Christen out. No, she needs to ask to her out. Tobin doesn’t think she can just be friends with the beautiful girl any longer. Especially not after the connection she felt from their shared secrets and conversations. Tobin has never felt closer to anyone in her whole life.

Tobin leaves her last class and heads into her black Jeep. She texts her friends that she won’t be able to hang out with them that night due to homework and ignores the ‘it’s Friday Tobito!’ She drives to Christen’s job, a cute burger joint, and checks herself out in the mirror. Her hair is wavy, natural, and her flannel goes perfectly with her black ripped jeans and UNC Nike Jordan’s. She takes a deep breath. Tobin has no idea how she’s going to ask out Christen, but she can’t seem to make-up any cool or suave words to woo her over. She’s just going to have to go with instinct.

With that, she heads into the restaurant with a bouquet of flowers. She finds a booth in the far corner and waits for Christen to come over like she normally does. Tobin hides the flowers from plain sight and picks at her nails nervously.

She only has a couple minutes to ready herself. Taking deep breaths, she wishes she could go out for a smoke to calm her nerves. A couple of girls walk over to her table and smile flirtatiously. Tobin politely makes conversation, not noticing how heavy the girls were laying it on. After a few minutes of forced smiles and words, Tobin looks at her watch and wonders why it’s taking Christen so long to come over.

One of the girls leans over the table and into Tobin’s space. Tobin immediately backs up a little, a bit overwhelmed from the invading smell of heavy perfume, noting it smells horrible compared to Christen. The girl questions with a flirty lilt to her voice, “Oh are those flowers?”

Tobin has to refrain from rolling her eyes. Christen has been telling her how rude that action is to other people so she’s been working on that. She responds in a tired voice, “Yes, I had just gotten them from the flower shop a few streets down.”

The girl bats her eyes, still leaning into the table, “Can I have those?”

Tobin’s about to respond when she hears her favorite voice call out, “Tobin?”

Tobin and the girls’ heads whip around to Christen. She’s wearing her accustomed uniform, black apron over a white collared shirt, dark blue mom jeans, and white Keds. Her hair is in two French braids and her curious green eyes peer at the three girls. As modest as her outfit is, Tobin can’t help but think how much more attractive it is than the other girl’s skimpy crop top and almost non-existing jean shorts (that’s how short it was).

The girl leaning over the table stands up slowly. She seems to sense that Tobin didn’t want anything to do with her. She tries one last time, “So, can I have those flowers?”

Tobin sighs and tries to respond as politely, “No, I’m sorry. Have a good day.”

The girls leave with as much dignity as they can muster. Tobin blushes under the gaze of Christen and she squirms nervously. Christen asks, “Who are those flowers for?” Tobin hands the flowers to Christen and she immediately brightens.

“For me?” she says, clutching the flowers to her chest. Her smile is big, her nose crinkling just a tiny bit and the corners of her eyes are a little wrinkled. Tobin nods wordlessly, unable to form any words at the moment.

Christen sighs, “That’s sweet, Tobin. Thank you, it made my day.” She sets the flowers down on the table and pulls out her notepad. “What would you like today?”

Tobin doesn’t answer, just continues to stare at Christen. Christen looks up from her notepad after a second of silence and blushes when she meets Tobin’s eyes. “What? Do I have something on my face?” She rubs on her face self-consciously.

Tobin finally speaks in a raspy voice, “Actually, I do know what I want.”

Christen readies her pen, “And that is?”

Tobin pretends to look at her menu and says casually, “I want you to be my girlfriend.”

There’s a moment of silence. Tobin focuses on the menu, scared of Christen’s reaction. She thought that was smooth, pretending to order something and then asking her out but maybe that wasn’t what she wanted. Tobin starts to panic, _Oh shit, she’s scared off, great job Tobin you scared off your best friend. How do solve this situation without making things too awkward? Do I stay and talk things out or do I run?_ Tobin is breathing hard, _Yep, running is a good idea. Go Tobin go-_

Her panicked trail of thought ceases when she feels soft lips on hers. _Oh this feels nice,_ Tobin thinks. Christen takes a hand to caress her face, smoothing away the baby hairs. Her hand lightly touches the tattoo on her left temple and her other hand holds Tobin close, fisting in the front of her shirt.

Tobin gingerly scoots closer to the edge of the booth to relieve some stress of of Christen's back (she's leaned really far into the booth) and takes wraps her hand around Christen’s waist, settling on the small of her back. The kiss is soft, sweet and not too inappropriate for a public environment. Christen’s nose brushes against Tobin’s as she slowly pulls away.

Tobin keeps her close. She grins dopily up at the girl standing over her, not quite believing this turn of events. Christen laughs lightly at Tobin’s dazed expression, “You look like you’re high on drugs right now.”

Tobin pulls Christen towards her and buries her face into Christen’s stomach, her arm still wrapped around her waist. “Wrong! I’m high off you!”

Christen laughs and strokes Tobin’s hair, “Wow, that was bad, Toby.”

Tobin just hums in content and asks, “Wait, so does that mean you will be my girlfriend?” her words come out a little muffled due to her face currently being smushed against Christen’s stomach.

“Yes, silly.” Christen pulls away, ignoring the disappointed whine emitting from Tobin. Her grin is huge now, her eyes squinting and crooked teeth showing (Tobin thinks she’s never looked more perfect.”

“That’s dope.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you loved this as much as i did! im a sucker for high school AU's (as you can tell) comments and kudos are appreciated!


	12. snow day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christen and tobin playing with their child in the snow. well, tobin playing with the child and christen is just standing over there, trying not to freeze to death.

Christen is shuffling behind her wife and child, desperately trying to keep warm with the big blanket wrapped around her. She _hates_ cold weather, she isn’t built for sub-zero weather. However, Tobin and Emille _flourish_ in this weather. They love the beauty in colder weather; snow, hot chocolate, bare trees, etc. Christen can’t enjoy those simple things because she’s just so damn cold.

Christen stands off to the side, looking ridiculous in the insane amount of clothing she has on and as cold as she feels right now, watching her wife and child play in the snow makes it a little more bearable. She tries unsuccessfully to wipe the snot coming down her nose and feels it start to freeze.

“Oh my god…” she mutters, “Tobin!”

Tobin whips her head around, “Yes, baby?”

Christen looks worriedly at Emille, who was making a snow angel. “Are you sure she’s wearing enough layers?”

Tobin waves her hand, “She’s fine, sweetheart. Why don’t you join us?

Emille pops her head up from the ground, “Yeah, mommy! Come play with me!”

Tobin brings out the puppy eyes and gestures for Emille to do the same. Their three-year old daughter has the same big brown eyes as Tobin, so basically making it impossible for Christen to say no.

Christen sighs and gingerly walks over to the pair. She half-heartedly picks up a snowball and tosses it in the air. Emille doesn’t seem to worry though, she somehow senses how little fun her mother is having. So she takes Tobin’s hand and asks, “Can we have a snowball fight?”

Christen’s eyes widen and she backs up, “Oh no, I’m out.” She doesn’t waver even when Tobin begs. “No honey, do you want me to get hypothermia? No, I’m better off watching and drinking hot coffee.” She gestures to the car that holds her thermos of coffee.

Christen doesn’t wait any longer and pivots on her feet. She’s walking, no waddling, to the car when she feels a big ball of snow hit her upside the head. Christen turns around slowly, and meets Tobin’s guilty eyes and Emille’s loud laughter.

Emille cries, “That was so funny, Mama!” and Christen can’t help but soften. She still scowls at her wife and yells, “I’m with-holding!”

Tobin balks at that, “Uh, no you’re not!”

Christen back-pedals with a shit-eating grin, “Uh, yes I am! That’s what you get for throwing snow at your wife!”

Christen retrieves her coffee and takes a big sip. It’s still so hot it burns her tongue a little, but it warms her up inside and out. She watches contently as Tobin and Emille wrestle on the ground.

These past few years haven’t been easy. They retired from the game of football with hopes of starting a family. They tried and tried but Christen wasn’t able to get pregnant. Their marriage took big hits, lots of fights and arguments, and they thought they were never going to make it. However, they stayed strong and finally, Tobin decided she would try to get pregnant. And it was a success: she got pregnant on the first try. The sperm donor was a dream, he was a lawyer and graduated from Yale.

Things went up from there. Christen did as much as she could for her wife to support them and the child. They were besides themselves with excitement and their marriage bloomed. When Tobin gave birth to their beautiful Emille, Christen collapsed in the delivery room with pure joy.

She was perfect, with big brown eyes just like Tobin and dark brown hair that must’ve came from the donor. Her skin tone was darker than Tobin’s and it nearly matched Christen’s. Even with the difficulties of being parents (dealing with throw-up and poop) they still loved Emille with all their hearts.

Christen snaps out of her day dream when she hears Tobin call her over. She walks over slowly and when she’s in arm’s reach, Tobin pulls her close with an arm wrapped around her waist. She places multiple kisses all over Christen’s face, hitting everywhere but her lips. Christen giggles at the sensation, adoring this undivided attention from her wife.

Tobin finally kisses Christen deep on her lips. Christen hums, and takes her hand to stroke Tobin’s hair. A bunch of snow falls out and Christen looks at her disapprovingly, “How did that much snow get on you?”

Tobin gestures to their daughter, who was now making a snowman. “Ask munchkin right here. She seemed to find it hilarious when she dumped snow on me.”

Christen sighs adoringly and kisses Tobin again, “I’m so lucky.”

Tobin wiggles her eyebrows and says, “No, I’m lucky…”

They start to kiss, and they sway awkwardly due to Christen being extremely bundled up (she looks like a penguin, Tobin thinks).

As Tobin starts to get carried away, her foot slips out underneath her and she falls backwards. Christen can only watch helplessly since her movements were limited due to the layers wrapped around her. Tobin narrowly misses Emille’s head and she crashes into her snowman.

Tobin lands with an oomph and as soon as she meets the eyes of her daughter, she immediately starts to panic when she sees Emille's eyes start to water. Emille’s bottom lip starts to tremble and Christen has to think quick. Without fully thinking it through, she throws off her blanket and runs. She runs all the way to the big mound of snow Tobin had created a while ago and throws herself in it. She disappears completely into the mound and is entirely immersed in everything _cold._

Emille laughs and laughs, and Tobin looks at the mound where Christen disappeared in with lots of concern. She’s about to go over to make sure Christen didn’t die when Christen pops out of the mound, covered head to toe in snow. Tobin swoops Emille up and they walk over to the shivering woman.

Christen glares at her wife, who was stifling her laughter, “You owe me so much for this, Heath.”

Emille squeals when Christen gets closer, “Mommy turned into a monsta!”

Tobin fake screams and pretends to run away from her incoming wife, “Ahhh! Emille we have to go! We can’t let the ugly snow beast catch us!”

Christen gasps, “Ugly?! Oh I’ll show you ugly…” she starts muttering to herself and Tobin can’t stop laughing.

“Honestly, Chris, you should see yourself right now.”

Christen shoves Tobin and kisses Emille’s head as she walks past, “Tobin, I’m serious, let’s go home. Now.”

“Yes ma’am!” Tobin and Emille give her a salute.

“And you better cuddle the crap out of me.”

“You know it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i truly appreciate all the love (even though it's not much) these one-shots have gotten. i love every single one of the kudos and comments i get, it truly means a lot. please give me some more ideas, im not the most creative person lol!


	13. time in a bottle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based off the song time in a bottle by jim croce. a life with tobin and christen

**If I could save time in a bottle**

**The first thing that I’d like to do**

**Is to save every day**

**‘Till eternity passes away**

**Just to spend them with you**

Tobin balances a soccer ball on her head, desperate to retain that skill even after her retirement all those years ago. Her neck aches a little from being in that position for so long, but another minute won’t hurt. She stays in that position a little longer before allowing the ball to roll off. She cricks her neck and starts to wander around to find her wife. Even after all these years, Tobin still craves her wife’s touch and attention.

She shuffles into the living room and leans against the doorway. Her beautiful wife is sitting on the couch, immersed in a book. Judging from the intrigued look on Christen’s face, Tobin knows for a fact she (herself) will never read that book. It must be something on meditation and whatnot Tobin thinks. She and her wife could not be more opposite. While she loves action movies, Christen loves romantic ones. Tobin loves to do things spontaneously whilst Christen needs everything to go according to plan. While Tobin is laidback and chill, Christen is the slightest bit uptight.

But nevertheless, opposites attract. Tobin thinks about the time she and Christen first met. It was no doubt the start of a blossoming romance.

_Tobin is running through the hallways with Allie, trying to get to biology first. Tobin pushes through the crowd and grins triumphantly when she reaches the front door of biology. She runs the last few steps and jumps as high as she can to smack the top of the doorframe. “Ha, Allie! I beat-“_

_She hits a soft frame as she’s flying through the doorway. The two figures tumble to the ground and Tobin ends up on the bottom. The person she hit falls on top of her with a yelp and Tobin groans. While the impact was not necessarily hard, Tobin groans mostly out of embarrassment. She’s embarrassed because the girl she bulldozed through was beautiful. Drop-dead gorgeous. And Tobin doesn’t even know her name._

_But she’s knocked the glasses off of the girl’s face and Tobin stammers out an apology, “Oh geez, I’m so so sorry…” she stares up at the green eyes looking down at her curiously. Tobin places her hands on the girl’s hips and gingerly moves her to the side. The teacher is hovering over the pair, questioning anxiously._

_“Are you guys alright? That was a hard hit!” she side-eyes Tobin who smiles sheepishly at the shaken girl._

_The girl doesn’t respond and Tobin begins to worry, “Listen, I’m really really sorry. I didn’t watch where I was going. Is there any way I can make this up to you?”_

_The girl blushes and shyly says, “You’re fine, it was just an accident.”_

_Tobin’s about to protest and prod the girl to answer her question when there’s a scoff in the background. They turn to see Alex glaring at them, “Of course Press would make a huge deal over nothing.”_

_Tobin shoots daggers at Alex, who simply rolls her eyes. The girl, Press, ducked her head and avoided eye contact. Tobin scrambles up from the ground and offers a hand to Press and she says reassuringly, “Don’t worry, Alex is just being a jerk. Here,” she pulls Press up and continues, “I’ll take you out tonight. Whatever you want to do and wherever you want to go, I’ll take you. It’s the least I can do.” Tobin wants to payback the girl for her actions and she’s admittedly attracted to her. So, what’s the harm in killing two birds with one stone?_

_While she waits for the girl’s response, Tobin picks up all her fallen books, papers, and glasses, noting that her name was Christen Press. She stands back up and hands over the books with a bright smile. She carefully places the glasses on Christen’s face, making sure it’s not lopsided. Christen watches her the entire time and she smiles timidly.. (And Tobin maybe, just maybe, swoons a little at the gorgeous smile)._

_Tobin walks Christen to her seat and plucks a pen from an unsuspecting person’s hand. She ignores the annoyed “Give it back” and quickly scribbles her number on the paper. “Here, give me a call or text and we can hang whenever!”_

_The bell rings, signaling class is starting and Tobin is forced to go to her seat. She moves so quickly that she misses the glare from Alex and the dark red blush painting Christen’s cheeks. Tobin doesn’t pay attention to the teacher, opting to play table football with Allie and allow her thoughts of Christen to invade her mind. The class passes by in a flash and before Tobin knows it, the bell has rung again and she has to go to geometry. She cranes her neck to find Christen, hoping to walk with her to the next class but she’s already left._

_“God, Tobin, keep your dick in your pants,” Allie mutters. Tobin shoves her friend but truth is, she has no idea why she’s already infatuated with the young girl. She’s always had Alex vying for her attention but Tobin never had any romantic interest in her. Yet, the girl who barely spoke to her and just stared at her with big green eyes already had her hooked._

_Tobin doesn’t hear from Christen for the entire day, and she worries she might’ve scared her off. She looks at her phone one last time and seeing no new texts sends another wave of disappointment. She’s about to get dressed and head to soccer practice when an incoming text comes._

_Tobin scrambles to her phone, startling her friends and reads the text quickly. A smile grows on her face as she reads:_

_**(512)-074-3295** : I think my butt has a bruise on it. You’re going to have to make it up to me big time.”_

_**(512)-842-2317:** i vaguely remember saying whatever u want to do or wherever u want to go, ill do it w/ u?”_

_**Christen:** Okay, well I don’t have an ideas. Maybe help me brainstorm?_

_**Tobin:** we could go out to eat after my practice. && im pretty sure they’re showing Wonder at the movies tonight._

_**Tobin:** unless you don’t like the movies?_

_**Christen:** of course I do! Where are we planning to eat?_

_**Tobin:** its my surprise. just text me ur address and ill pick u up._

_**Christen:** Would it kill you to use proper grammar?_

_**Tobin:** it keeps me young_

_They text for a little while longer before Tobin is forced to go to practice. If anybody notices she has a little more pep-to-her-step, they don’t mention it._

_\-----------------_

_Tobin shifts restlessly in her seat as she waits for Christen to appear. She’s a little self-conscious of the apparent wealth Christen has. Her house is big and beautiful and the cars lining up her driveway were in pristine condition. She wasn’t embarrassed by her old truck by all means, it just served a reminder how much better Christen was compared to her._

_Her attention is drawn to the movement of the front door opening and her breath catches in her throat. Christen’s outfit is simple, a Looney Tunes sweatshirt, ripped mom jeans, and teal high-top Converse. But Tobin’s breath is taken away by her simple beauty. Christen jogs up the car and enters the passenger seat. Tobin just stares at her the entire way and when Christen is settled, she tucks a curl behind her ear._

_“What?” she asks self-consciously._

_Tobin shrugs and starts to drive away. She answers nonchalantly, “You look beautiful.”_

_Christen blushes and looks out the window. They ride in silence to the restaurant, and while it’s not awkward, the atmosphere is definitely not comfortable._

_They enter a casual Italian restaurant and are shown to their seats. They open their menus and casually recommend different options. Tobin thinks that’s about as much as she’s going to get out of Christen until Christen slams her menu down._

_Tobin jumps, a little bit startled and looks curiously at the hard glare pointed at her. “What’s up?”_

_Christen says, “Okay, seriously, what do you want from me?”_

_Tobin cocks her head, “Uh, I don’t want anything from you.”_

_Christen scoffs disbelievingly and grits out, “Why did you ask me out? Is this some sort of joke to you?”_

_Tobin blinks, “Uh it’s definitely not a joke to me…”_

_Christen snaps, “Literally why else would you take me here? Did you think you were going to get laid tonight? And then just brag to your friends about it?”_

_“Uh-“_

_“And stop saying ‘Uh’, it’s annoying.”_

_Tobin narrows her eyes, “Okay look, you got it all wrong. Yes, maybe I’m not known for being the ‘best person around’ but that doesn’t mean I’m that much of a jerk to humiliate you.”_

_Christen sits back and gestures for Tobin to continue._

_Tobin wringes her hands nervously, “I did want to pay you back for hitting you today but you also intrigue me. I don’t know, I just wanted to get to know you better.”_

_Christen scoffs, “You’ve never given me a second glance. How am I supposed to believe you?”_

_Tobin shrugs, “I can’t make you believe me. I’m sorry to say I’ve never really noticed you before but my mind is always distracted. I’m never really in the moment at any time unless I’m playing soccer.”_

_Christen relaxes a bit and her aggressive posture fades, “So, you think we can be friends?”_

_Tobin mumbles shyly, “I’m kind of hoping we can be more than friends someday…”_

_Christen chuckles and then says fondly, “Let’s just start out as friends and see where this goes.”_

_The awkward air disappears and they immediately engage in conversation. Throughout the entire night, both girls knew the underlying attraction to one another will make way to show itself at some point._

_And they were right. Many friend dates later in the following month, Tobin put on an elaborate scene, making the soccer field decked out in Christmas lights and flowers. She put on a big show, dancing with Christen to her favorite songs and bringing her the best cheese pizza around (or so Tobin says) and asked Christen out to homecoming that night. Thankfully, Christen was overjoyed and then they officially started dating (much to their friend’s relief)._

Tobin pushes off the doorway and shuffles over to her wife. Christen wordlessly moves over to make room for Tobin and Tobin tucks herself into Christen’s side. Christen strokes her hand through Tobin’s graying hair and continues to read.

Tobin snuggles into Christen chest and hums out, “Whatcha reading?”

Christen corrects her, “What are you reading?”

Tobin grumbles and wraps her arms around Christen’s waist.

Christen places a kiss on Tobin’s neck, “I’m reading Strength in Stillness. You should read it sometime.”

Tobin laughs, “Babe, the day I read one of your boring meditation books is the day you go dirt-biking with me.”

Christen guffaws, “I can’t believe you still dirt-bike. You’re nearing 60 years old and yet, you still act like a child.”

Tobin grins and leans her head up to kiss Christen’s lips, “You love me.”

Christen hums, “I do.”

Tobin rests her phone against Christen’s chest and starts to play Candy Crush, sighing contently. They lay there in silence (aside from the occasional frustrated groans from Tobin) and Tobin savors this moment, hoping it will last forever.

**If I could make days last forever,**

**If words could make wishes come true,**

**I’d save every day like a treasure, and then,**

**Again, I would spend them with you**

Tobin wakes up with her face covered in Christen’s curls. They always seem to end up in a position where Christen’s hair is everywhere but Tobin doesn’t mind one bit. She gently moves the hair to the side and gazes at the love of her life. Her eyes trace over every crinkle in her face and every freckle. Tobin has never not been dumbfounded by Christen’s simple beauty.

As her eyes roam over her wife’s naked body, her attention is pulled to the beautiful ring on her ring finger. Tobin reaches out and strokes it gently and reminisces one of the best times in her life.

_Their hands are linked together as they walk on a secluded beach. When they first found it a couple months ago, Tobin decided to name it “The baddest beach” and Christen had shook her head disapprovingly, “You can do SO much better than that Tobs.”_

_Tobin responded, “But it matches your name; MY baddest beach.”_

_“Stop.”_

_Tonight was just any regular date, they had dinner at a local restaurant and drove to the beach to have a nightly walk. Christen loved to walk barefoot on the sand and watch the sun set over the waves and Tobin loved her girlfriend and the beach so it was always the ideal date. However, tonight was going to be different. While everything is normal and routine-like, the only thing different was the seashell contained a diamond ring hidden in Tobin’s pocket._

_When Christen had went back to the car to find a non-existent snapback (per Tobin’s request), Tobin had found a beautiful sea shell, still intact with a top and bottom and carefully placed the engagement ring inside it. She takes a deep breath and recites her speech one more time in her head as Christen comes back saying, “There’s no Power Rangers snapback in the car, love.”_

_They’ve been walking for some time now, Christen gushing over the pretty skies and Tobin’s been trying to find the right moment to propose, but she can’t find THE moment. They always say you will propose when you feel that its right, but every moment feels right. As Christen laughs at her with that big smile and when Tobin takes her hand and twirls her around, it all just feels right. So, Tobin is just deciding when to pull out the big question when Christen stops the pair._

_Christen looks at her with concern, “Hey, is everything alright babe? You kinda zoned out for a minute.”_

_Tobin wrings her hands and looks anywhere but her girlfriend. Christen is getting worried and cups Tobin’s jaw with her hand. “Baby, what’s wrong?”_

_Her entire planned speech goes out the window and Tobin just has to roll with it. She says with as much of a steady voice as she can muster, “Christen, my love, we have been through one hell of a ride. We have been through the big ups and the big downs and as hard as that has been, there is nobody I want to do that with other than you.”_

_Christen isn’t sure where this is going, Tobin never really being the one to talk about love for so long. She nods encouragingly and Tobin continues._

_“When I look at you, I see everything I love. I love your smile, your laugh, and I love how you always find the good in everything. I love your sincerity, I love your energy, and I don’t think I could ever go without you. I see my future in you, I can picture us moving in together at the nicest house,” she chokes up a little as Christen starts to cry. She seems to know where this is going. “I can picture us having the dumbest fights over décor and I can picture us with children, just running around and causing a mess that we would take turns in cleaning up.” Tobin starts to get down on one knee and Christen is desperately trying to control her sobs. “I love you so much Christen Annemarie Press, and I can also picture you being my wife.” She opens the seashell revealing a beautiful diamond ring and she asks in a clear voice, “Will you marry me?”_

_Christen lunges forward and wraps Tobin in a hug, nearly knocking them to the ground. Christen is crying so hard she’s nearly incoherent and Tobin is really trying to control her tears. Christen is nodding vigorously, like she can’t say yes any faster._

_“Yes! Yes! YES!” Christen all but shrieks and Tobin can’t hold up their weight anymore. They tumble onto the sand, ignoring the sand getting on their clothes and hair. They’re both crying and tucking their faces into each other’s necks. After a few seconds of pure joy, Christen pulls back just enough to ask, “Will you put the ring on me please?”_

_Tobin gingerly slides the ring on Christen’s left hand and sighs. “It fits. It looks absolutely perfect on you my love,” she whispers and kisses her hand. Tobin lays back down on the sand and Christen, who was still entangled with Tobin, props herself up with an elbow and looks down adoringly. She wipes away both of their tears and strokes Tobin’s face, “I love you so much, T. I can’t wait until we’re married and I can’t wait till we have mini-Tobins running around.”_

_“Mini-Tobins? I thought we were going with Mini-Christens?”_

_“How about one of each?”_

_“Plus one more.”_

_“Perfect.” Christen sighs and Tobin beams._

Tobin can’t fight the smile that makes her way onto her face. The wedding had been perfect. It had taken place at the “baddest beach” and everybody loved the scenery. It was their special place and they were happy to share it with their closest friends and family.

As she watches her wife sleep peacefully, Tobin wishes she could’ve made that day last forever. But then again, she wishes she could make every day spent with her wife last forever.

**If I had a box just for wishes,**

**And dreams that had never come true**

**The box would be empty**

**Except for the memory of how they were answered by you.**

While Christen is doing her daily yoga (how she can still do all those poses at 57 years old, Tobin will never know) and Tobin is wandering out aimlessly. She’s bored but knows better than to make noise or do anything distracting to her wife. She’s about to go to their room to take another nap when she passes her children’s bedrooms.

Tobin slowly walks into her youngest child’s room, and even though it’s now relatively empty other than the small bed and small dresser, Tobin can still close her eyes and picture the hideous pink that tainted this room.

She really tried her hardest to convince Stacey that getting everything in hot pink wasn’t the best idea, Stacey stuck to it and they reluctantly complied. The other children had been easier, Adaline didn’t care how her room looked, as long as it had not Disney Princesses (“Attagirl!” Tobin had yelled while Christen rolled her eyes) and Christian wanted Lion King theme (which is what Tobin lived to do).

Tobin leans against the doorframe and immerses herself in her memories with a fond smile dancing across her face.

_Tobin walks through the front door and immediately zeroes in on her family. She carefully places the bag of takeout on the kitchen counter and walks over to Christen, giving her a sweet kiss._

_“Hey, babe.” Tobin says and she then squats so that she’s face to face with Christen’s pregnant belly, “And hello to you too! Have you been good for mommy?”_

_Christen laughs and says, “She’s been doing her best. She just had a few kicks here and there, and she must have some kind of vendetta against my bladder.”_

_Tobin grins and kisses the rounded belly. She stands up slowly, wincing at the creak in her knees and sighs, “Where’s the little rascals?”_

_“I think they’re in Adalaine’s room doing something,” Christen supplies unhelpfully. Tobin smirks, “You think, huh? C’mon, mommy, do better!”_

_Christen narrows her eyes and retorts, “YOU do better…”_

_Tobin blinks and starts laughing. She begins to backpedal while saying, “Is pregnancy making your brain short-circuit? I remember you being more creative.”_

_Christen huffs, “I would be more creative if we could eat soon. The baby needs to eat. As do I.” She glares pointedly at Tobin who’s almost out of sight._

_“Gimme five minutes!”_

_“Title of our sex tape!”_

_Tobin chuckles and gently opens Adalaine’s door. The sight of Christian braiding his sister’s hair melts Tobin’s heart. She clears her throat and the children’s attention is pulled to her._

_“Hi my wonderful children.” Tobin flops onto the bed next to Christian and he says reprimanding, “Don't mess me up Mama, I’m trying to do Addy’s hair.”_

_Tobin raises her hands up defensively, “Sorry, sorry.” She watches for a few more minutes and then strikes up conversation, “How was your day today?”_

_Adalaine murmurs, probably sleepy from the soothing actions given by her brother, “Was good… ‘m hungry though.”_

_Christian finally finishes the last braid. He yells, “DONE!” startling both Tobin and Adalaine._

_Tobin nods in approval, “Wow, Chrisian, that looks great!” Her son really had a knack for hair._

_Adalaine stands up to admire her hair in the mirror and her smile grows. “This is really pretty!”_

_Tobin picks up the 5 year-old boy, no doubt he’s tired now, and says, “C’mon let’s go eat.”_

_Adalaine lights up, “Ooo, what are we having tonight?”_

_Tobin answers, “Well, mommy has been craving Chinese, so I got all of our favorites!”_

_The older girl starts cheering and Christian joins in, “Chinese! Chinese! Chinese!”_

_They enter the living room where Christen is waiting. Christian prods Tobin to let him down and she complies. The two children run over to their mother and give her cheek kisses. Then Christian kneels down and kisses her stomach. “Hi, baby sister.”_

_Adalaine lifts her hand to make sure Christen could get up on her own. The 10 year old gently pulls Christen up and walks her to the table. She pulls out the chair for Christen and she chuckles, “Wow, such chivalry. Thank you baby. Perhaps mama needs to learn a thing or two,” she side-eyes Tobin._

_Tobin scoffs, “I’m chivalrous! I got you Chinese!”_

_Christian giggles, “Not enough!”_

_“You’re killing me, bud.” Tobin grasps her chest and ignores the cries of “You’re so dramatic!” and grabs four plates. She hears Christian complimenting the French braids meticulously done by Christian, and she hears the smacking kisses she gives him. Tobin gets dinner ready and without asking, Adalaine pitches in in to help and Christian sets the table._

_“Ah…” Tobin says triumphantly as she watches Adalaine carefully pour milk for her and her brother, “I have taught you well.”_

_“Little do you know, Ma, is that I’m buttering you up.”_

_“Buttering me up for what?”_

_“I kinda failed my math test today.” Adalaine says casually._

_Tobin and Christen whip around in shock. “How?” Tobin asks incredulously, “I literally helped you with the homework last night!”_

_Adalaine glares at her mom and says, “Yeah, that’s what I told my teacher. But Miss Daniels said that the homework was done completely wrong. Turns out,” she gestures to Tobin, “negative times negative does NOT make negative.”_

_Christen glares at Tobin, “Are you trying to fail our child?”_

_Tobin winces, “Ooo… sorry I forgot about that. I really did forget.”_

_“Many years gone without using math sure does pay off. Also seeing that you graduated from UNC..." Christen remarks with a sly grin._

_“It literally doesn’t make sense though! And it never will!”_

_Christian pipes up, “Remember mommy? Two negatives equal a positive!”_

_“How would you know? You’re five!”_

_“I have my reasons.”_

Tobin feels a pair of arms wrapping around her waist. Tobin turns her head for a kiss and they stand in the doorway sharing small pecks before Christen pulls away. Her wife looks sadly at the empty rooms and sighs, “Wow, they really grow up fast, huh?”

Tobin nods, “Yeah, they do. But they grew up to be amazing people. We really taught them well, huh?”

Christen smiles proudly. There were always talk revolving around the couple with many old-fashioned couples thinking that two women can’t provide enough for a family, especially when they were retired professional athletes. They were determined to prove them wrong. Before they retired, their Re-inc business was already blooming, and as soon as they gave up the game of soccer, they worked to make Re-inc the dream company.

And so they did. Their company became one of the biggest female-founded companies in the country. With Christen being the CEO and Tobin being the creative director, they were able to live comfortably with their three children. They raised their children to always be kind to people, no matter their faults or flaws (“Unless they say something racists or sexist!” Tobin says with a pointer finger. Christen chimes in, “Do what you gotta do,” and the children were escatic.)

Adalaine was a star athlete in high school, playing varsity softball all four years and getting a full scholarship to Tennessee University (“I really don’t get this game. How do you just stand there and wait for a small, hard-ass ball to come flying to your face?” Tobin asks as they leave one of Adalaine’s games). She is now a PEDs surgeon, happily married to her husband of 4 years and with four children, her mothers could never be more proud.

Christian was no athlete. Even though Adalaine and Stacey tried to convince him to try out a sport, he was always drawn to the math and science clubs. He was the brightest in his class and he graduated as valedictorian. While there was always that cliché the nerd is always bullied by the jocks, high school was actually not a terror show for him (“Must be his good lucks,” Tobin ponders). He definitely had the best looks in the family (his sisters agree) with big green eyes and long eyelashes, perfect eyebrows, chiseled jaw, wavy brown hair, and impossibly even tanned skin. Christian had everybody’s attention in high school, but his attention was always trained on his chess rival, Alexa. The two went to Stanford, got engineering degrees, moved to the North Carolina, and got married.

Stacey was also a star athlete alongside her sister. She dominated the XC team and the soccer team, and she was extremely dedicated to her sport. When she wasn’t studying, she was working to be her best and it all paid off in the end. She had gotten youth national team call-ups when she was a senior in high school and she got a full-ride scholarship to UNC. While she majored in biomedical sciences, Stacey felt like it was her call to play professional soccer. Tobin and Christen were nothing but supportive and she’s now a veteran in the USWNT (and still sadly single but Tobin assures her, “You’ll get there one day!” Christen adds, "It took your mother a long-ass time to ask me out").

All those years ago, when Tobin and Christen dreamed of having a family, they never though it could end up this well. Tobin loves her grandchildren with all her heart and she thanks God every day for her blessing. Even though the dream had ran its course since all the kids have left the house, Tobin couldn’t be more grateful.

**But there never seems to be enough time**

**To do the things you want to do once you find them,**

**I’ve looked around enough to know**

**That you’re the one I want to go through time with**

Tobin hears the clacking of heels and stands up from her place on the couch (where’s she’s been waiting for 45 minutes and any other person would’ve gone insane but she’s used to it). Christen walks out in a modest black dress and while her outfit was nowhere near as revealing as her outfits used to be 20 years ago, she still never fails to take the breath out of Tobin’s lungs. Her hair is naturally curly, just the way Tobin likes it, and her neck is adorned with gold necklaces.

Tobin takes her hand and twirls her around. Christen giggles and Tobin croaks out, “You’re so beautiful, my love.”

Christen sighs dreamily and leans in to give Tobin a heartfelt kiss, “Thank you. I try sometimes you know?”

Tobin pulls out of a bouquet of flowers and Christen brightens. She takes the flowers and inhales. Smiling, Christen wordlessly places it in a vase of water and takes Tobin’s hand. “Are we ready?”

Tobin nods and they set off to the elegant restaurant.

\---------

They are good friends with the chef there, so he promises them a dinner on the house. Fully planning to take advantage of the free meal, Tobin orders the three course meal and dessert, ignoring the wide-eyes given to her by her wife.

They taste each tid-bit together, and Tobin makes a habit of asking Christen to feed her whenever. Christen does so willingly, and before long, they’re stuffed to the brim.

Tobin sighs, “I wish I could go back to the time I could eat loads of food and not worry about weight gain.”

Christen laughs, “Don’t we all?” They exit the restaurant, giving many thanks to the staff, and head to the car. Tobin takes the wheel and Christen is expecting to go straight home to get their cuddles in but she’s shocked to see them pull up to a dark, secluded pavilion.

“Tobin?” she questions, “What are we doing here?”

Tobin just smiles and holds out her hand for Christen to take. She leads Christen to the pavilion and tells her to wait. Christen stands alone in the darkness for a few minutes until everything lights up.

Christen can’t contain her gasp. The pavilion is decked out in beautiful lights, flowers, and candles. There’s a small Bluetooth speaker playing soft, slow music. Tobin appears by her side and holds out her elbow, “M’lady.”

Tobin walks with her speechless wife in, and twirls her slowly around the floor. Christen asks, “When did you have time to do this?”

Tobin shrugs, “I pulled in some favors.” She wordlessly places one of her hands on Christen’s waist and holds the other one in the air. Christen follows her lead and they slowly dance, peacefully savoring this moment. It’s silent in the pavilion besides the occasional shuffle of feet and soft music. There was no need to fill the silence, they just wanted to savor this intimate feeling in their hearts.

As the last song on Tobin’s playlist starts to come to an end, Tobin dips her wife and Christen giggles. She grips the back of Tobin’s neck and brings her a searing kiss. “Happy 25th anniversary. I love doing life with you.” Christen mumbles happily.

Yeah, Tobin loves her life with her wife. You know what they say, happy wife happy life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please listen to that song. it's so amazing!! i hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. i appreciate all of you!!


	14. eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based off the song "eleven" by khalid ft. summer walker. short, but sweet

Tobin pulls up to a local playground and notes that Christen’s car isn’t in the deserted parking lot. She looks down at her phone to make sure she’s on time and the text confirms it, saying to meet her at the playground at 1 AM.

Tobin has no idea why her girlfriend forced her out of Ashlyn’s party to meet in the middle of the night, but it must be for a good reason. She wanders onto a swing and swings around aimlessly for a few minutes until she hears the running of footsteps.

Tobin turns and sees her girlfriend running up to the playground. Her eyebrows furrow, “Babe, did you run here? It’s 1 in the morning, you could’ve asked me to give you a ride!”

Christen, who’s trying to catch her breath, looks up from her hunched position and glares, “Don’t act like you’re concerned about me.”

Tobin is taken aback, “What?” She gets off the swing and cautiously walks to the fuming girl.

Christen straightens up and bites out, “In fact, I bet the only thing you’re concerned about going back to that party and getting in that girl’s pants, right?”

Tobin is confused, “Wait, what girl? What are you talking about, dude?”

Christen spits out, “Don’t call me dude!”

Tobin has no idea what to do in this situation. She’s a little bit high from the pot she smoked at the party so she’s a little slow to respond, “Chris, seriously, what’s going on?”

Christen’s anger fades and she slumps over with sadness. She forces back a few tears and says, “If you want to break up with me, just say so. Don’t let me find out you slept with another girl while you’re in a relationship with me.”

Tobin’s eyes widen in shock and immediately she grabs Christen’s hands, “What? I didn’t sleep with anybody! Who told you that?”

Christen wordlessly unlocks her phone and shoves it in Tobin’s hand. Tobin peers down at the picture and her stomach drops. On the phone screen is Tobin and a girl closely dancing, the girl’s arms draped over Tobin and one of Tobin’s arms wrapping around her waist.

Tobin looks up and sees Christen’s green eyes watering with unshed tears. Tobin shakes her head and goes to cup Christen’s face. Christen’s body betrays her when she leans into the touch and her heart betrays her when she feels the familiar flutter of butterflies.

Tobin says in a soft voice, “Baby, you really think I would break our bond, our relationship, _our trust_ for Alex?”

Christen’s head pops up and she asks disbelievingly, “Alex? As in, our Alex Morgan?”

Tobin nods with a smile, “Yes, the very straight Alex Morgan who just told us a week ago that she’s in love with Servando.”

Christen inspects the picture with a closer look and finds the unmistakable robin tattoo on Alex’s exposed waist. Christen nearly sobs in relief and she drops her phone to pull Tobin into a hug. Tobin immediately wraps Christen up and she tucks in her face into the curve of her girlfriend’s neck. Christen is crying a little, mostly out of relief that Tobin hadn’t cheated on her.

Tobin holds her for a while and then pulls back. She peppers Christen’s face in kisses and she asks curiously, “Babe, honestly, why would you ever think I would cheat on you and break up with you?”

Christen wipes her eyes and sheepishly says, “It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that sometimes I fear you would find out you could land someone better than me, and you would leave and break my heart.”

Tobin responds without a beat of hesitation, “Chris, sometimes _I_ fear that you would find out I’m no good for you and leave me. I mean, baby,” she grabs Christen’s hands, “You’re so talented and so smart and so gorgeous, sometimes I can’t even believe you’re into me. I don’t get it, I’m just a person who likes to get high sometimes and go skateboarding while drunk while you’re destined for such great things. You’re just, so out of my freaking league but somehow you decided to date me. Why would I ever leave the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”

Christen shrugs, trying to ignore the fire spreading through her body from Tobin’s words. Tobin cups Christen’s face with both of her hands and gently kisses her lips, “You’re the love of my life Christen.”

Christen sucks in a breath at that. That was all Christen ever wanted to hear. She pulls Tobin closer by the belt-loops and kisses her harder. She pants out, “I love you too.”

Tobin pulls away after a few more minutes and they stare at each other with adoration, desire, and love. Christen suddenly giggles, “Wow, I like, really really love you.” Tobin laughs at her awe-struck girlfriend and gently pulls Christen towards her car, “C’mon, I have something to show you.”

They enter her car and as Christen buckles in, Tobin lights a cigarette. She’s about to take a drag when the cigarette is pulled from Tobin’s lips. Christen plucks it from Tobin and goes to take a drag.

“Wait, babe, are you sure-“ Tobin is concerned because she doesn’t want to get Christen addicted to nicotine. Her mom would kill me Tobin thinks. Christen ignores her girlfriend’s worried question and inhales. Tobin watches carefully to make sure she’s alright when Christen finally opens her eyes and smiles.

“That wasn’t too bad.”

Tobin chuckles and says, “We’ll share.” As Tobin drives, they switch back and forth between drags of the cigarette and halfway to the destination, she can already tell Christen is getting a little high.

When Tobin pulls up to a clearing decorated with speckles of moonlight and purple wildflowers, Christen gasps, "Wow, this place is so pretty!"

Tobin laughs at her intoxicated girlfriend, "Yeah, it sure is."

Christen looks over with hooded eyes, "But you're prettier..."

Christen climbs out of her seat and straddles Tobin, giggling. She goes to unbutton Tobin’s flannel jacket while licking up the roof of her mouth and Tobin is taken aback by her girlfriend’s forward behavior.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Tobin pulls back but Christen chases after her. Tobin laughs at the dopey grin on her girlfriend’s face. “You are so cute.”

Christen tucks her face in Tobin’s neck and mumbles, “I think I’m high. But…” she sloppily places her finger on Tobin’s lips, “I like it. Makes me feel good.” Something crosses Christen’s mind, because all of a sudden, she leaps out the car and goes to dance around the clearing.

Tobin watches her with amusement for a couple minutes, enjoying the show of her high girlfriend failing to do ballet twirls. The moon is bright tonight, so Tobin can see Christen’s curls whirling around and her long legs moving clumsily. _Let’s not give her anymore cigarettes shall we?_ Tobin thinks to herself. She exits the car and grabs Christen’s waist. She hoists her up in the air and twirls her around, Christen shrieking with laughter.

Tobin is infatuated as she watches Christen toss her head back and she mumbles almost incoherently, “You’re so perfect. I can’t believe you’re mine.”

Those words seem to do something to Christen as she looks down with darkened eyes. “I can. Show me how perfect you think I am.” And Tobin does just that, on the hood of her car, under the bright stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a short but sweet oneshot. i adore this song sm, you guys should listen to it. but please give me some prompts, im running out of ideas. :)


	15. don't forget me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christen is an uptight, teachers pet at hogwarts. tobin is the prodigy qudditch player who is laidback and chill. how does two very different people come together?

Hogwarts was huge. That was Tobin’s first though as she ran through the halls trying to find her Potions class. She and her friend Kelley were frantically flying through the halls and courtyards, desperate to find the class. The upperclassmen were no help, they gave the pair false directions just for the fun of it, hence the reason why they are so late.

Finally, one 5th year student took pity on them and pointed to a stairwell, “Just go down one flight and it should be the first classroom on the left.”

Kelley glares at the student, “If you’re pranking us…”

Tobin rushes to correct her friend before the upperclassman became offended, “No, no, sorry. Thanks so much!” She pulls Kelley by the collar of her shirt and they bolt down the stairs.

The pair bursts through the dungeon doors, breathing heavily. Their loud entrance startles the first year students and they all look curiously at the girls. Tobin and Kelley pay them no attention, too winded to do anything else. Professor Snape watches from the front of the classroom with a scowl and as soon as the girls’ hands leave their knees and they straighten up, he snaps, “Please, someone, explain to me how these two arrived to class almost twenty minutes late?”

Tobin is about to smile easily and respond when a light, airy voice cuts in, “Because they don’t know how to read their map.”

Tobin and Kelley’s heads whip to the voice and Tobin’s eyes met cold, green eyes. Professor Snape smirks and says, “Correct, Miss Press. Ten points to Slytherin.”

‘Miss Press’ smiles winningly and cuts eyes at Tobin. She takes a piece of curly hair and twirls it around her long finger, seemingly rubbing in Tobin’s humiliation.

Tobin sneers, “We don’t need the attitude, princess. Surprise,” she shows her hands, “We don’t even have a map.”

The girl snaps back, “They gave it to us during the Sorting. Don’t tell me you’ve lost it already?” She says it in a reprimanding voice, like a teacher talking to a bunch of five-year olds. Kelley pats her pockets on Tobin’s robe and sighs.

“Ah, look Tobs.” Tobin pulls her eyes from the girl and looks at Kelley’s hand. Looking at the crumpled map, Tobin vaguely recalls stuffing it in the pocket. By now, the classroom has moved on and continued to work on their assignment. Tobin smiles sheepishly at Kelley, a blush dusting her cheeks.

They make their to the back of the room, sitting at their cauldrons. Tobin pleads with her friend who is rightfully angry at her, “Kell, I’m sorry. You know how I am, I forget the most important things.” Kelley softens and punches Tobin on the shoulder. They start to shove each other around, not paying any attention to the lesson and not catching the watchful look from the green-eyed girl.

\------------

Tobin makes her way down to the Quidditch fields after her final class to watch the teams practice. She’s always loved Quidditch, her parents had purchased box seats to watch the World Cup when she was younger and as soon as the game started, and Tobin fell in love with it. She and Kelley would practice for hours on end, determined to make the pro teams. She was naturally a Chaser while Kelley preferred to be a beater.

They were the dream team (in their eyes) and they promised each other that they would push each other to get so good, the pro leagues would have no choice but to sign them in.

So Tobin gets comfortable on the stands and she wishs that first years were allowed to try out for the team. Her eyes follow every single movement of Hufflepuff’s lead scorer, noting the broomwork and fancy tricks (she thinks that her skills are better). Tobin’s eyes have been so intently trained on the Chaser that she barely hears the shouts of “Heads up!”

Tobin snaps her head up and sees the small streak of gold headed her way. Instinctively, Tobin’s hand pops up and in a split half-second, the Snitch is snatched out of the air. Tobin’s hand is closed tightly around the golden ball and Hufflepuff’s seeker was watching her from a slight distance with something similar to awe and admiration on his face.

Tobin smiles sheepishly and walks over to the edge of the stands to hand the Snitch over, “I’m sorry, that was just instinct.”

The boy just shakes his head, still awestruck by her cat-like reflexes. He taps her chin, mulling her over and then seems to come to a decision. He lifts a finger to signal he needs a minute, and flies over to the captain who was observing across the field. They seem to have a heated discussion and then the captain nods, giving consent to whatever the boy had just asked for. The boy streaks back and says breathlessly, “Okay, kid, how do you feel about trying out for the team?”

Tobin’s eyes widen. She stammers, “I-I would l-love to, but aren’t first years not allowed to t-try out?”

The boy shakes his head with a grin, “Don’t worry, Kate will take care of it. We just want to see what you’re capable of.” He gets off his broom and assures Tobin that it’s safe and that it shouldn’t be too difficult to maneuver.

Tobin hesitantly agrees. She ties her long brown hair up in a half-bun and climbs onto the broom. She relaxes immediately as she starts to fly, already feeling at home on the pitch. She throws a thumbs-up to the captain who then calls for the scrimmage to start.

Everything is extremely fast-paced and any new-comer would be overwhelmed but Tobin feels right at home. She immediately fit in with the group and the team’s chemistry was off the charts. After 30 more minutes of practice, the captain called it up. Tobin stood awkwardly off to the side, debating whether to leave or not. However, her internal debate was answered when the captain walked over with a big smile.

Kate (the captain) held out her hand with a sparkle in her eye. As Tobin shook her hand, something in her eyes shifted and she says sweetly, “I’m going to talk this out with Dumbledore, but I’m sure they will allow you to be on this team. From the talent I have just seen, there’s no doubt we will have a great season.”

Tobin thought she was laying it on a little thick but she humbly replies, “Thanks for having me.” She feels a little flustered at the look Kate had and desperately tried to find an out.

When Tobin tried to pull her hand away, Kate gripped it a little tighter. She laughs uncomfortably and is about to rip her hand away when she hears someone call her name. Turning, Tobin sees the girl from her Potions class walk over. The girl walks with her head high, curls pulled up in a careless bun, and her green eyes are zeroed on Kate.

Kate stiffens but continues her grip on Tobin’s hand. She says gruffly, “Christen.”

Christen nods back, “Kate.” She eyes Tobin up and down and Tobin suddenly feels self-conscious of her appearance, face rosy from the wind, her hair messy and tangled. She pulls her hand sharply from Katie’s and Christen looks a little smug at Katie’s crestfallen face.

Christen takes Tobin’s elbow and drags her away from the Hufflepuff captain. “Sorry to interrupt this, but Tobin is needed in Professor Snape’s class. She will only be just a moment.”

With that, they walk out of the pitch and Christen is holding Tobin close, almost possessively. As soon as they are out of sight, Christen withdraws her arm and Tobin feels an acute sense of loss. She turns to the smaller girl and questions, “So, what did you need me for?”

Christen looks to the side, avoiding Tobin’s eyes and shrugs, “Dunno, it just looked like you needed some help. What were you doing on the Quidditch pitch anyways?”

Now it’s Tobin who doesn’t want to meet Christen’s eyes, “Kate just wanted me to try out saying something about ‘potential’.” She scoffs, “I feel like they were trying to make a joke out of me, I mean can you imagine? A first year playing?”

Christen looks earnest as she reassures the brunette, “Hey, no, I actually saw a little bit of your practice. You’re actually really good! I’m sure they could really use some pure talent.”

Tobin narrows her eyes at that, “What does that mean?”

Christen just shrugs and adds teasingly, “Maybe now they have you, they might actually have a chance at beating Slytherin in the House Cup.”

Tobin guffaws and Christen continues with bright eyes, “No seriously, if you guys can somehow beat Slytherin, I owe you one favor. It can be anything and then vice versa.”

Tobin laughs and starts backpedaling, “Okay princess, you’re on. I’m going to hold you to that.”

Christen yells, “Don’t call me princess!”

“Bye princess! I’ll see you in Potions!”

\--------------

When Tobin and Kelley enter Potions together, they immediately notice the different seating chart. Tobin groans, “Kell, I swear, if you didn’t throw frogs in Ali’s cauldron, Professor Snape wouldn’t feel the need to switch our seats!”

Kelley laughs, “Well, it was fun while it lasted. I must say, I recall you giving me that idea.”

Tobin waves her off, “That’s not the point.” She scans the chart to find her name and her stomach soars as she finds it near a familiar name.

Kelley looks over her shoulder and winces, “Ooh, you’re stuck with Press the Prick?”

Tobin is startled as she replies, “Press the Prick? Where did that name come from?”

Kelley’s eyes widen, “Oh you didn’t know? She’s like, known for being an asshole to everybody. But they’re too scared to stand up to her, something about her being extremely intimidating.”

Tobin shakes her head, “I’m sure that’s not what it is. Oh, look!” she changes the subject and laughs teasingly, “What’s this Alex Morgan I see?” Kelley’s head pops up with excitement as she scans the chart.

“Oh my God!! Yes!!” Kelley hollers. She sprints to her seat to find a slightly amused Alex. “What’s up babygirl?”

Alex grimaces, “Please, don’t ever call me that again Worms.”

“You love it.” Tobin fake gags and turns her attention away from the pair and meets the eyes of the stunning brunette that has been invading her thoughts all week.

She saunters over with a lopsided smile and doesn’t miss the way Christen visibly brightens. Instead of sitting at her seat, Tobin stands across Christen’s side of the table and leans forward with both elbows supporting. With both hands on her face, she slides the upper half of her torso closer to Christen. When she’s less than a foot away, Tobin smirks at Christen’s blush, “Hey there princess.”

Christen seems to compose herself and replicates Tobin’s actions, sliding her face less than a few inches from Tobin’s face. Now she’s the one with a smirk when Tobin eyes widen. “Hi.”

They seem to be at a standoff, their breaths whisking lightly across their faces. Tobin stares into Christen’s green eyes and wonders if she has the right color paints to match that exact color. She smiles that easy smile that makes Christen’s heart stutter and says, “So, I see that we’re Potion partners now.”

Christen shrugs, “Had to pull a few strings.”

Tobin blinks in surprise, “You wanted me to sit next to you?”

Christen pulls away nonchalantly and ignores the disappointed look on Tobin’s face. She starts to open her notebook and says, “How else am I supposed get you to myself for even a few minutes a day?”

Tobin makes her way back to her seat, flipping Kelley off when she sends her a suggestive wink, “You could’ve just came up to me and asked like a normal person ‘hey Tobin would you like to hang out?’ but this works as well.”

Christen rolls her eyes and starts to pull her curls up, “Shut up and go grab the ingredients for the potion on page 45.”

“Your wish is my command, princess.” Tobin winks as she gets up to make her way to Snape’s storage room. With her back turned, she doesn’t see Christen’s fond smile at the pet name. As Christen peels her eyes away from Tobin’s figure, she catches the eyes of a few curious classmates and her soft smile hardens. She snaps, “What are you looking at?” and the students look away hurriedly.

Christen rolls her eyes and starts to read the instructions, making sure she has the right measurements written down. She looks up as Tobin plops the ingredients on the table and huffs out, “Geez, princess, why did you choose to do a potion with a bajillion ingredients?”

Christen laughs, “You’re dramatic. That appears to be,” she counts, “11 ingredients. Not a bajillion.”

Tobin sighs good-naturedly and raises her hands up, “Okay, okay. So what first?”

As Christen starts the experiment, Tobin does her best to make her job a lot harder than needed. She goofs around, pretending not to see certain ingredients or tugging on Christen’s hair as she pours liquids into the cauldron. (While Christen will never admit it, her heart grows fuller every time Tobin cracks a joke).

But as they nearing the end of class, Christen realizes the potion isn’t done yet. She interrupts Tobin in the middle of her punchline, “Tobin! Seriously, we have to finish this!”

Tobin whines, “You didn’t even let me finish the punchline!”

“There will be time for that later. Seriously, my grade is going to go down if we don’t finish this.” Christen seems to be near tears as she imagines her perfect Potions grade falling below a 100. Tobin seems to sense this and immediately stops her playful mood.

“Okay, vamos! Let’s do this!” After a few minutes of frantic potion-making, they sigh in relief as the color changes into the correct shade of pink. Tobin pretends to wipe sweat off her brow as she grins at Christen, “See princess? Easy peazy!”

Christen rolls her eyes, “I would’ve liked to have finished it earlier.”

Tobin laughs, “Wow, not even a thank you?”

Christen sighs fondly and instead of saying thank you, she leans in to press a light kiss to Tobin’s cheek. Immediately a dark blush appears on both their faces and Christen is trying to think of a way out of the situation when Tobin says, “Not what I was expecting, but that’ll do.”

She’s grinning at Christen and she can’t help but smile back. “I swear you’re giving me the biggest headache.”

Tobin shoots back, “I didn’t hear you complaining.” Christen just shrugs with a smile and packs her bag. She’s just about to leave for her next class when Tobin asks, “So, princess, how do you feel about studying together at the library after my Quidditch practice?”

That’s news to Christen. She looks at Tobin’s hopeful face and asks incredulously, “You made the team? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

Tobin turns shy and shrugs, “I don’t know, I guess whenever I’m with you, I don’t want to really talk about me. But yeah, I’m their new Seeker.”

Kelley pops up and chimes in, “Yeah, little Toby is making history!” She slings an arm around Tobin’s shoulder and Christen has to will away the sudden feeling of jealousy.

Tobin groans, “Don’t call me that…”

Christen giggles, “I don’t know, I kinda like Toby.” It’s then Tobin thinks _Okay it may not be THAT bad…_

\----------------

Christen jumps as she feels Tobin jump on her back. “Tobin!” She struggles to shrug her off and Tobin whines, “Aw, princess, did you not miss me?”

Christen rolls her eyes, “Of course I missed you. What do you need?” Tobin slides off of her and grins brightly. She holds out a rumpled shirt wordlessly and Christen furrows her brows, “What’s that?”

Tobin starts to turn a little shy as she murmurs, “It’s a jersey. Y’know, for when you go to the House Cup tomorrow?”

Christen brightens and takes the jersey. She holds it close to her heart and they both ignore the warm feeling in their chests. She says excitedly, “How are you feeling about it? You excited?”

It’s nearing the end of the school year and Hufflepuff is going to the House Cup for the first time in 5 years. Tobin’s become somewhat of a legend, becoming one of the most popular students in the whole school. Despite her growing popularity and friend groups, Tobin always stuck close to Christen (and she doesn’t want to admit her growing crush on Christen is one of the biggest reasons she turned down so many dating offers).

Tobin shuffles her feet, “Yeah, I’m excited. Nervous. Just a whole bundle of emotions I guess.” She peers at Christen with her big brown eyes and asks, “Do you promise to be there?”

Christen smiles softly and takes the taller girl’s hand, “Of course.”

Tobin smiles and leans a little into Christen’s space, just enjoying her company. All of a sudden, her eyes pop open and she grins, “Wait, is that bet still-“

“Yes.”

“Oh yeahhh…”

“Oh no.”

\--------------

The crowd is wild and loud, with many people cheering on Tobin. As she walks onto the pitch, her eyes scan the stands and catches Christen’s eyes. She seems to relax a little and waves with a big grin. Christen’s about to wave back when a bunch of girls bristle with excitement.

“Is she waving at me?” one of the blondes asks and her friends assure her that she is, in fact, waving at her. The girl blows a kiss towards Tobin’s direction and Christen’s chest is burning with jealousy. The burn grows as she overhears the girl gush, “Tobin and I have gotten so close in Charms. She always so sweet to me and I’ve seen her turn down so many dating offers. Do you guys think it’s because she likes me?”

The other girls squeal as they continue to fantasize about their supposed relationship. Christen scoffs but can’t help but feel a little saddened at the prospect of Tobin having feelings for anybody but her. She tugs absent-mindedly on Tobin’s jersey and thinks _C’mon Christen, of course she doesn’t like you. You’re just friends for goodness sake. And that girl is ten times prettier than you._ She sighs dejectedly but cheers loudly as Tobin sets off in flight.

The game starts and Christen is a little befuddled at the movements on the pitch _Okay, what is that one guy doing with a bat? Is he hitting other players?_ She winces as one of the players narrowly dodges a big flying ball and she’s appalled. _Why is that guy deliberately trying to hit her? She could be seriously injured_ Christen thinks.

Around thirty minutes later, both houses are tied and Christen starts to scan for Tobin. She hears screams of excitement and her head snaps up to the flying brunette. _She’s chasing the Snitch! Wait, oh God, why is she coming this way?_ Christen is petrified as Tobin comes roaring at her. Right before Tobin hits her, she throws a rose at Christen and her broom flies sharply up. Her arm is raised in triumph and there are screams and shouts as the recognizable Snitch is held in Tobin’s hand.

Everybody is screaming for her and the Hufflepuff’s are celebrating their first House Cup victory for God knows how long, but Tobin and Christen are staring at each other. Christen’s hand is gripping the rose and a soft smile spreads across her face. Tobin winks and Christen can’t even bring herself to care that she lost the bet. All she can think is _I might love her._

\-------------

Tobin pushes out of the crowd in the Hufflepuff common room with the excuse of “I have to go talk to a professor”. She walks hurriedly through the hallways, smiling politely at the many congratulations, but she’s only looking for one. Her eyes brighten as she sees a recognizable figure sitting on a bench in the courtyard. She jogs up to Christen and wraps her in a hug from behind.

“Toby!” Christen beams. She twists in Tobin’s embrace and wraps her arms around Tobin’s slim waist, “Amazing job during the match! I’m going to be honest, I didn’t really understand what was going on, but something tells me you were the star.”

Tobin shrugs and grins, “What I gotta say? I was always the talent of the team.” Christen groans, “God, I can see your ego inflating already.”

After a few quiet minutes, Tobin says, “Here, I have an idea.”

Christen teases, “Oh no, that’s never good.” Tobin scoffs and backs away from the hug. Christen whines and makes grabby hands, “No, come back.”

“Nuh-uh” Tobin shakes her head with a smile. She continues, “I’m going to go to Hogsmeade. And yes, I know, first-years aren’t allowed to go, but I’m pretty sure some of my fellow Hufflepuff teammates will be willing to take me.”

Christen looks skeptical but sighs in agreement. “Okay, do you know what you’re going to get?”

Tobin nods, “Yep, I got it covered. Just meet me at our special spot?”

The ‘special spot’ was under a tree overlooking Hogsmeade. Tobin and Christen found the spot when Christen needed to get away from the stress of school. They were wandering around the grounds when in the distance, Christen saw a bench and tree, secluded from plain eyesight. They usually bring their schoolwork down to their spot to just relax and hang out with each other.

Tobin leaves with promises of tons of candy and food and Christen runs up to her dormitory to change. It was getting colder, with snow starting to fall. Christen always loved snow, the beauty and innocence of white, powdery snow. But her love of snow can’t hide her dislike of cold so she wraps herself up in Tobin’s beanie and gloves. It takes a while to get down to their spot due to the crowded hallways. Even though classes are over for the semester, people are bustling about to get ready to head home for Christmas. She and Tobin plan to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas, wanting to spend her birthday together. _Maybe_ Christen thinks wistfully _if we were dating, we would make plans to go meet each other’s families this Christmas._ She sighs and she’s still a little confused by the rose Tobin had given her. _It’s just a friend thing_ she thinks. But the stolen glances, lingering touches, frequent kisses on the cheek, exchanging of clothes, and countless other things… _is that really just a friend thing?_ She shakes her head and throws all thoughts of longing and pining out the window as she makes her way to their spot.

After around 10 minutes and no sign of Tobin, Christen begins to feel a little anxious. She wonders if Tobin has gotten distracted by something or someone and forgot about her. She cranes her neck at the little village and tries to catch sight of Tobin. A few seconds later, a small but distinguishable figure appears in her vision and although Christen is pretty far from Hogsmeade, she can immediately tell its Tobin. _Must be that slouch and way of walking_ Christen muses.

Christen’s fond smile hardens and the corners of her mouth pull down as a blonde makes conversation with Tobin. She doesn’t have to be stupid to know that it was the same girl from the House Cup. She watches as the two seem to fall into easy conversation and has almost came to the decision to go inside because it’s so freaking cold out when she sees Tobin running towards her.

She gets off the bench and goes to meet Tobin halfway. Tobin is breathing heavily, her eyes downcast and hair falling, hiding her face. Her arms are almost spilling with candies but Christen isn’t concerned about that. She gently tilts Tobin’s head up and her heart falls.

There’s a light pink lipstick stain half on her mouth and half on her cheek. She tries to will away the tears that surface as she says, “So, uh, what took you so long?”

Tobin can see right through her façade and says in a pleading voice, “Chris, it’s not like that.”

Christen backs away, forcing a smile. She whispers, “Then what’s it like?”

Tobin’s at a loss for words and then Christen continues in a stronger voice, “It’s okay, I don’t control who you date or whatever. If she’s really who you want then go for it.” She turns and starts to speed-walk away, desperate to get out of Tobin’s sight before her tears fall.

She hears the sound of wrappers being dropped and footsteps. Tobin runs after her and grabs her arm. Christen turns to see Tobin’s wild brown eyes and even as Tobin opens her mouth to say something, Christen doesn’t think she can handle it. Christen rips her arm away and makes a break for the school. She only gets a few feet when she hears Tobin yell, “I’m calling it!”

Christen freezes and Tobin continues, “I’m calling the favor. I want you to come back here and kiss me like you want me.”

Christen can’t believe her ears. She turns and looks dumbfounded at the beaming girl. She gingerly walks back, giving Tobin plenty of time to evoke her favor but all she sees is Tobin’s sincere and adoring smile. She reaches the brunette and immediately Tobin wraps her arms around her waist. Christen slowly leans in, not quite believing this is real, and presses her lips to Tobin’s in a feather light kiss. It’s just a simple press of lips but now, Christen and Tobin feel their hearts fill up completely. They pull away after a few seconds, resting their foreheads together and their noses are nudged against one another. Their breaths mingle in the small space between them and Christen whispers, “I think I love you.” Tobin just presses another kiss to her lips and nose and it conveys all the words Tobin can’t say out loud.

(Needless to say, their Christmas break at Hogwarts was spent in bliss).

\---------------

Tobin is holding Christen’s hand as they navigate through the crowded station. She walks Christen over to her family but before they get there, Christen stops them. Tobin turns questioningly and her concern grows when she sees Christen’s eyes watering.

“Oh, baby what’s wrong?” Tobin wipes the pad of her thumb across Christen’s cheekbone.

“Just promise me you won’t forget me.” Christen whispers. She closes her eyes and leans into Tobin’s touch.

Tobin’s eyes widen, “I would never. Why would you ask me that?”

Christen keeps her eyes closed and sadly shrugs, “I just remember at the beginning of the year you told Kelley you forget even the most important things. I just hope you won’t forget about me this summer.”

Tobin murmurs, “Baby, open your eyes.” She waits until she sees the green-grey eyes she loves so much, “You are _the_ most important person to me. It’s basically impossible to forget such a pretty face like yours.”

Christen giggles and leans her head more onto Tobin’s hand. She sighs, “I’m just going to miss you.”

Tobin nods, “Me too. I promise to send letters every week. Maybe you could come up and visit me nearing the end of summer?”

Christen smiles, “I’d like that.” Both their heads turn as they hear both families’ call their names.

Tobin leans in and softly presses a kiss to Christen’s lips. She peppers the smaller girl’s face with more kisses until Christen murmurs, “They’re going to kill us if we don’t get back.”

She pulls away reluctantly, “Bye Tobin.”

Tobin waves as she starts to walk away, “Goodbye, princess!” she sang out in a high voice.

“Don’t call me that!”

“It keeps the romance alive!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ill try to have another out by christmas! im going to a wedding this weekend :) thanks for reading !!


	16. i'm needy and you're not oblivious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pt 2 of "i'm needy and you're oblivious"

Tobin lounges on the couch in their apartment, watching her wife unpack their suitcases. They have just came back from the states and Christen has taken it upon herself to unpack their clothes, stating “You always put everything in the wrong places and it drives me insane.” Tobin can’t stand unpacking anyways so she happily allows her wife to do the task by herself. 

However, there’s a sting in her heart, a heavy feeling of guilt. While Christen has said she’s forgiven Tobin for her actions during the camp, Tobin was sure she’s still not over it. And Tobin doesn’t blame her. After all, she did neglect the most important person in her life for a straight week for no reason. So, in an effort to gain back some brownie points, Tobin’s tried many things. She really has. She’s made an effort to cook Christen’s favorite dishes and to not leave her expensive shoes laying all over the house. She’s tried to remember to buy her wife’s favorite cookies when she’s out getting groceries and she’s tried to master a particular style of braiding so that she can do Christen’s hair every so often. Tobin’s really tried but despite all her efforts, there’s still a sad light to the green eyes she loves so much. 

So Tobin is on the couch, pondering what else she could possibly do to get Christen to truly smile again. She leans her head back against the cushions and closes her eyes. She brainstorms for what seems like hours until finally, her brown eyes pop open and she sits up abruptly. Christen is startled, jumping a little from her place on the kitchen stool. Her wife asks curiously, “Sweetie? Is everything okay?” 

Tobin nods with a grin, “Yep, yep, everything is fine.” And it is, because Tobin remembers that Christen loves small, meaningful gestures. Being given expensive materials is nice, but she knows her wife loves it when Tobin remembers the little things. So, Tobin develops a plan and decides to take action the next morning. 

\----------- 

The next morning is a GrassRoot soccer virtual meeting, and Christen is up and ready at 6. She rolls out of bed quietly, trying not to wake Tobin, and slips into the bathroom. Christen is just stepping in the shower when she hears the padding of footsteps. She pokes her head out curiously and says, “Tobs, is that you?” 

Tobin chuckles sleepily, “I should hope so. We’re the only two in the apartment.” She shrugs out of her sleep shorts and oversized T-shirt and joins Christen in the shower. Christen narrows her eyes, “Babe, I’m serious. No hanky-panky this morning. I have to get ready for the meeting in a couple hours.” 

Tobin soothes, “Chris, I’m not here for that. I just wanted to shower with you, maybe help clean you up?” Her brown eyes are big and hopeful and Christen can’t help but smile softly. 

Tobin kisses her on the lips tenderly. She kisses her closed eyelids, the crease in her brows, her sharp cheekbones, and her forehead. Tobin wordlessly takes the loofah, douses it in Christen’s favorite body wash, and scrubs it gently all over the tan body. Christen watches adoringly as Tobin cleans her legs and arms tenderly, almost as if she’s worshipping her wife’s body. Tobin’s eyes are trailing all over, not in a sexual manner, but more of an awed way. She sets the loofah down and reaching for Christen’s shampoo. Tobin works the product into Christen’s wet curls and the pair is loving the intimate atmosphere created inside the shower. 

Tobin finishes up cleaning up both of them and as she shuts the shower off, she presses another kiss to Christen’s lips. She takes a towel and dries off Christen’s body, making sure there’s not a droplet of water left. She wraps Christen’s hair into a towel bun to let it dry and asks for Christen to wait for a few minutes. 

Tobin exits the bathroom quickly and dresses into the same sleep shorts and shirt. She quickly ties her hair up in a loose half-bun and grabs her sweatshirt and old soccer shorts for Christen. She enters the bathroom again to the sight of her wife standing in the same position, not having made any movements. She’s still naked and there’s a look of vulnerability, a timid shine in her green eyes. 

Tobin softly says, “Baby,” and waits until Christen’s eyes meet hers, “I brought you some clothes. Would you mind?” Christen nods with a small smile and lifts her arms for Tobin to slip on the sweatshirt. She steps into Tobin’s soccer shorts and Tobin pulls it up around her hips. She places a kiss on Christen’s nose and pulls her over to the counter. She wraps her lanky arms under her wife’s butt and lifts her gently onto the bathroom counter. 

Tobin lets out a small laugh as she holds Christen’s makeup bag. Christen looks at her with big eyes and says, “Thank you, love. I can take it from here.” She makes a move to take the bag from Tobin, her eyes downcast and a little dejected, but Tobin shakes her head. “No, baby, I got this.” 

Christen brightens a bit and she giggles, “Are you sure? I don’t think you’ve ever touched that much makeup in your life.” 

Tobin has a determined look on her face, “No, no, I got this. I’ll just go with instinct. My artist skills are bomb!” She emphasized the last word with a smacking kiss to Christen’s lips and her wife lets out a happy squeal. Tobin smiles at the happy look on the brunette’s face but as she turns to the makeup bag in her hands, her smile falls off her face. Being real with herself, Tobin knows she's not capable of doing fancy makeup to herself, much less likely to do well with another person, but she promised to try. She picks out a foundation that seemed to match Christen’s skin tone and gently starts applying it. Christen murmurs a few tips and Tobin takes it well. 

The end product is decent, with Christen's eyeliner a little rocky and mascara laid on a little thick, the foundation spread evenly and highlighter highlighting her sharp cheekbones. In Tobin’s honest opinion, Christen doesn’t even need makeup (and so she tells her) and Christen responds, “You’re the only person who thinks that, baby, trust me” Christen laughs. 

Tobin reaches for a strawberry-shade lipstick, Christen’s personal favorite. She cups her wife’s chin and holds her firm as she runs it tenderly across Christen’s lips. Christen’s eyes are soft and loving as she watches Tobin concentrate on the lining of her lips. Her tongue is sticking out, looking extremely comical and Christen can’t hold back a giggle. 

“Baby!” Tobin groans, “You messed me up,” she stares in defeat at the strawberry stain on her upper lip. She reaches over to grab some tissue paper and gently rubs at the stain, Christen’s eyes closing to the soothing action. She throws away the tissue paper and presses a soft kiss on Christen’s eyelids. Her eyes flutter open and green eyes meet brown. Tobin whispers, “I love your eyes. They are so honest and beautiful, I think those were the first things I fell in love with.” 

Tobin takes a breath and grasps her wife’s thin hands, “I know you say you’re okay, that I’m forgiven for neglecting you during camp, but I’m not okay with that. It shouldn’t be that easy, you letting me off with a few words. That’s not how it’s supposed to work.” She rubs the pads of her hands across the top of brown hands, “You were supposed to stay mad for a while longer, maybe given me silent treatment. You honestly deserved to just let me have it, but you’re so kind and so generous and so loving that you forgave me in an instant. And I just love you so much for that and I promise that will never happen again. No matter the circumstance, I will never let you be an afterthought. You are my wife, and you are the most important person to me, and I need to start treating you as if you are.” 

Christen opens her mouth to say something but Tobin shakes her head, “You don’t have to say anything. Just take my words and please believe them. Please believe you are the love of my life and that from now on, I will do my best to make you feel like you are. I adore you, Christen. I adore you, and it’s the only thing I’ll ever do. You are my wonder under summer sky, with your perfect brown skin, perfect green eyes, perfect soul and heart. I know sometimes you don’t believe it, sometimes you think you’re below others and that you aren’t enough, but as your wife, it’s my duty to remind you that you are, for the rest of our days.” 

Christen is sporting the loveliest smile, her nose crinkles and eyes squinted and Tobin thinks that’s the happiest she’s looked in a long time. She pulls Tobin in for a kiss and whispers, “I adore you more, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long! i had a little block for a pt. 2 but a user on here (juhkl) recommended a oneshot based off of "adore you" but harry styles and it helped me out a lot. your feedback is appreciated and feel free to give prompts :)


	17. baby i am on my way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tobin is in the military and surprises christen when she comes home unexpectedly for the holidays

Tobin clutches her bag like it’s her lifeline. It’s the day before Christmas and her eyebrows are pinched with nerves and her jaw is clenched so hard, she’s afraid she’s broke some molars. Kelley O’Hara and Megan Klingenberg, her best friends from high school who joined the military with her, looked at her with concern and Kelley says, “Dude, what’s up?”

Tobin fiddles with her water bottle and murmurs, “Chris doesn’t know I’m coming home.”

Megan balks at that, “Your wife doesn’t know you’re coming home for Christmas?”

Tobin sighs, “She actually called a couple nights ago, asking about coming home for the holidays.”

Kelley interrupts, “And you lied? I expected better Tobito.”

Tobin groans, “I told you to stop calling me that!”

Megan mutters something about “but you eat so many burritos it only makes sense” but Tobin chooses to ignore that. She continues, “At the time, you know, the captain needed me to stay at the base. So I told her I couldn’t make it, and we had a little fight.”

_“Hi beautiful!” Tobin coos as she holds the phone to her ear. She traps the phone with the side of her head and shoulder as she laces up her combat boots._

_Christen sighs, “Hi baby,” Tobin hears a light rustling on the other end, “How was your day?”_

_Tobin says, “Nothing much happened, just some training and workouts. Megan and Kelley started a food fight in cafeteria,” she smiles as she hears a light giggle come from Christen. “I mean, what did we expect? It’s Kelley and Megan.”_

_Christen laughs, “I’m so glad you have those two. Makes the thought of you out there a little more bearable.”_

_Tobin sighs, her heart content with love, “Baby, I miss you.”_

_“You miss me enough to come home for the holidays?” Tobin slumps over at the light, hopeful voice. She wants to say “Yes, I’m coming home. I’m coming back to you, even for a short amount of time.” Instead, what comes out of her mouth is, “I can’t.”_

_She hears a sharp intake of breath, “What do you mean ‘I can’t’? You’ve been on deployment for 16 months! Are you telling me they can’t let you go even for a week?”_

_Tobin grimaces at the trembling voice, “Baby, believe me I tried.”_

_“Did you try hard enough? Are Megan and Kelley going home?” Christen is sounding slightly hysterical._

_Tobin pleads, “Of course I tried. But the captain needs me here and things on our side aren’t looking too good. A lot of soldiers aren’t coming home for the holidays.”_

_Christen cries out, “But I need you here!” Tobin shuts her eyes at the sound of her wife’s soft cries._

_“You’ve been so far away for so long. I know what you’re doing for this county is great, but it’s been long enough. I miss you.”_

_Tobin wipes away tears that start trailing down her cheek, “My love, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But I can’t.”_

_Christen starts to get angry, “Seriously, is there nothing you can do about it? Put in a leave of absence or whatever you have to do. Before you left for the Navy, you promised you would try your hardest to come back to me whenever it’s possible. Why aren’t you keeping your promise?”_

_She rubs her eyes and bites out, “Christen, I can’t just leave and disobey orders! What kind of example would that set for the other people?”_

_A silence falls upon them, only sharp breaths being panted into the speaker. Tobin hears Christen sniffle and she says softly, “I’m trying to keep my promise, baby. I swear.”_

_Christen lets out a broken sigh, “I know. I just wish you could be here, just with me. Even for a second. I haven’t touched you in so long.”_

_Tobin murmurs, “I’ll be home soon.”_

_They exchange a few more sweet words and as Tobin ends the call, she prays to God that an opportunity to visit the love of her life will appear this Christmas. Her prayer was answered when she received a phone call from her captain, telling her she was free to go home for the holidays._

_After receiving it, she had two options. One, she could call Christen and tell her that she was coming home, or…_

_Or she could leave it at that, let it be a surprise. Tobin allows herself to think of those heartwarming coming home videos she watches on YouTube frequently and how knowing Christen, she was going to react similarly. She makes the decision to keep it a secret and surprise her on Christmas Eve._

“So, the captain changed your plans and you decide not to update your wife?” Megan clarifies. Tobin nods and Kelley shakes her head, “Honestly, I have no idea what goes through your mind, but she’s your wife not mine.”

“Don’t you wish she was though?” Megan laughs and winces as Tobin shoves her.

Kelley puts on faux-dreamlike eyes and says, “Oh, yes. Never knew what she saw in Tobito.” She cackles as Tobin groans, “I hate you guys.”

Kelley goes to throw an arm around Tobin but something in her bag catches Kelley’s eyes. She raises an eyebrow and points at the small jewelry box, “What’s that?”

Tobin looks to where she’s pointing and blushes bashfully. “I, uh, saw this during our deployment in Thailand in a jewelry store. It’s nothing fancy but uh,” she opens the small box and reveals a thin gold chain with a light green emerald dangling from the middle. Megan gasps, “That’s so pretty? Can I have it?” Tobin ignores her and continues, “I was missing Christen a lot that day, and the emerald reminded me of her eyes. So, yeah.”

Kelley tsks, “That must’ve been expensive. What I would do to be in Christen’s place right now.”

“You guys are so gross! And weird! Why are you so obsessed with our relationship?” Tobin complains, although not a single piece of her is really mad. They both wave her off and Tobin mumbles, “You guys really haven’t changed since high school, huh” After a few more minutes of playful bickering, Kelley and Megan bid farewell, all of them going in separate directions for the holidays. Megan was going to her family in Pennsylvania and Kelley was visiting her family in Georgia.

Now, Tobin is bouncing with anticipation, the need to go home to her lonely wife was intense. Knowing Christen, she’s probably wallowing in her sorrows with a glass of wine, thinking she will be spending the holidays alone. She cranes her neck to look for a cab and when she finds an available one, she bids farewell to her friends, promising to keep in touch for a couple weeks.

Her knee is bouncing up and down and her nails are bitten to stubs. The driver seems to notice her nerves and wordlessly speeds through the highway. She continuously checks her phone, hoping to see any messages from Christen, her heart falling a little bit more every time she came up empty. She’s probably busy, Tobin thinks and a wave of worry flows over her as she recalls the reason why Christen turns into a busybody.

_Christen was moving into Tobin’s condo and after she had helped with carrying the heavy boxes, Tobin decided it was time for her to relax. She stretched out on her couch and turned on the TV. She connected her Nintendo Switch to it and started to play Mario Kart._

_Meanwhile, Christen was unpacking her belongings into their shared closet and bathroom. She huffs in frustration as she tries unsuccessfully to find room to put her shoes in. She yells, “Tobin?”_

_Christen hears Tobin respond, “Yes, baby?”_

_“Can you move your sneakers around? I need more room for my shoes.” She hears Tobin’s heavy footsteps coming towards her and Tobin then carelessly tosses her shoes in the corner of the closet. Christen thanks her and hopes that her wife will stay around to help her finish unpacking, but Tobin goes straight back to the living room to play video games._

_Christen sighs and continues to hang her dresses up. After she finishes, her body is screaming for her to go chill out with Tobin, to lay on the couch cuddled up to her and watch her play Mario Kart. Instead, her nerves pull her to go to the kitchen and start chores that she’s already completed yesterday._

_Tobin’s head pops up from the couch after she hears an aggressive sigh. She asks with big eyes, “Everything okay?”_

_Christen is ferociously scrubbing the countertops, with so much aggressiveness that Tobin might’ve found it hot if it weren’t for the scrunched up face. Christen doesn’t answer and Tobin takes it as a cue to step in. She pauses her game and makes her way over, wrapping her arms around the slim waist and nuzzles her nose against the side of Christen’s neck. She mumbles, “What’s wrong baby?”_

_“Do you think this is a mistake?” Tobin’s eyes widen a little in hurt and Christen rushes to correct, “I don’t mean it like that, I just…” She turns in Tobin’s arms and bites her lips worriedly. When she looks up to meet Tobin’s eyes, tears are starting to fall down her face. Tobin scrunches her brow and quickly wipes away her tears. Christen chokes out, “Are you sure you want to be with me?”_

_Tobin opens her mouth to reassure her but Christen plows on, “You could have anybody you wanted and here you are with me. Are you sure you’ll be happy in this?”_

_Tobin is quick to respond with a gentle voice, “Chris. Baby.” She tilts her chin up, “I know how insecure you can get, but have these last five years not shown you anything? I only love you and it will always be you. Please, don’t ever feel like that, you know I’m happy.”_

_Christen shuffles her feet, “Sorry, I just overthink sometimes. And when I overthink, I tend to try to keep busy. I especially do so when I question my place in this relationship.”_

_Tobin takes her hand and twirls her slowly, “Sweetheart, if I really didn’t love you, why would I date you for five years and marry you? Who else would put up with your uptight self?” She says this teasingly and grins when a smile finally breaks out on Christen’s face. She shoves her wife away and grumbles, “I hate you.”_

_“No you don’t.” Tobin smirks and she gently holds Christen’s waist and sways her slowly._

_“Why did I marry you anyways?” Christen mutters with a fond smile._

_Tobin scoffs, “Because I’m freaking amazing that’s why!”_

_“That’s what you think.”_

_“That what you know, babe.”_

Tobin examines the thin necklace inside the jewelry box. It was simple, elegant, and beautiful. Just like Christen and Tobin knew this was the perfect gift for her love. She’s pulled out of her thoughts as her peripheral vision catches onto a familiar sign. She recognizes it as the small diner she and her friends used to hang out at during high school. Most of her friends are gone, out living the big life, but Kelley and Megan and a few others liked the small-town life. She’s pulled into nostalgia as she watches every familiar building pass by, new waves of memories flooding in. Tobin sees the movie theaters in the distance and something pulls in her heart as she remembers her first kiss with Christen.

_Tobin and her friends exit the movie room where they had just watched “Dirty Dancing” and Kelley was howling something about “Kling, you and I have got to reenact that one scene,” and Alex saying, “I would pay big bucks for that.”_

_Tobin’s laughing and she’s doing it so hard that she almost misses the beautiful girl watching her from the concession stand. She straightens up and her friends don’t miss the way she physically brightens more, if that was even possible._

_“Chris!” She yells and then immediately blushes. She walks over to the girl who was smiling amusedly and she mutters, “That came out way louder than I intended.”_

_Christen giggles, “Well, you’ve got my attention now. What’s up?”_

_She just shrugs and answers, “Just finished a movie with some friends, nothing much. How was your day?”_

_Christen starts to ramble about something her dogs had done earlier that day but Tobin is distracted by her long fingers, waving animatedly around and her slight overbite that makes her look like she’s biting her lip. Her eyes trail every curve of Christen’s face, taking in all the details and something on her face must’ve been obvious because Christen stops and fake-glares, “Did you even hear what I said?”_

_Tobin snaps out of her infatuated-gaze and stammers, “S-Sorry, what was that?”_

_Christen pulls on one of her curls and asks, “Do I have something on my face?”_

_She shakes her head, “No, you're just beautiful. Like, it's written all over your forehead.”_

_Christen’s eyes widen and Tobin doesn’t do well in these situations. When a pretty girl is looking at her in confusion because of what was supposed to be a smooth line coming out of her mouth ended up sounding stupid. So Tobin decides to dig herself into a deeper hole. She rambles, “Like in bold letters. Maybe italic. It should be neon pink since it’s your favorite color. So like the word beautiful will be loud,” She’s so focused on getting out of the situation that she doesn’t notice Christen walking around the corner and leaning in closer, “Also, it’s in all-caps. You know, so people will truly get the emphasis? Oh, maybe it could-“_

_Christen presses a kiss to Tobin’s lips, effectively shutting her up. There’s wolf whistles that is suspiciously coming from Tobin’s friends, but neither of them could care less. The kiss is soft and gentle, and can only be described as fond. Christen smiles into the kiss and she absentmindedly brushes away Tobin’s baby hairs. As she pulls away, she snags onto her snapback and places it on her own head._

_Tobin looks dazed, like she’s in a kiss-induced trance and Christen giggles, “You there?”_

_She grins dopily, “Yup.”_

_Christen says playfully, “Are you good?”_

_Tobin sighs, “I’m amazing. You?”_

_“Spectacular.”_

_Tobin rakes her eyes over Christen’s head, “You look spectacular in my hat.”_

_Christen tilts her head, “Can I keep it?” Tobin usually never lets girls wear her stuff, much less keep it, but she doesn’t even hesitate before she says, “Uh-huh.”_

_Christen lets out a breathless laugh and says, “You’re cute.” She gestures to the line waiting at the concession stand and Tobin nods, “You have to go?”_

_Christen wants to melt because she looks like a puppy with her big brown eyes and the small pout on her lips. She has to physically pull herself out of Tobin’s personal space and then she smiles sweetly saying, “I’m off at 8.”_

She thanks the cab driver and wishes him happy holidays. As he drives off, Tobin stands in the driveway of their home, hands desperately smoothing over her uniform. The garage is open, Christen’s Mercedes sitting there signaling Tobin that her wife is home. She takes off her military hat and clutches it in a bundle of nerves.

She has no idea why she’s so nervous. It’s Christen. Her wife and the love of her life. Tobin reasons with herself that it has been 16 months since she’s seen the beautiful brunette and that it’s normal to feel like the butterflies in her stomach are going to burst out. Totally normal.

Tobin quietly unlocks the front door, freezing when the wooden floors let out a creak and craning her ears to hear any footsteps. When there are none, she continues her trek, gently shutting the door. She hears the sounds of pots clanging and food sizzling and Tobin tiptoes towards the kitchen. Before she turns the corner, she fights the need to run into her wife’s arms but holds herself back. She clutches the jewelry box in one hand and then she closes her eyes to lean her head against the wall that separated the living room from the kitchen. She listens blissfully at the sounds of Christen humming along to a Christmas song and by the sounds of footsteps, Tobin knows Christen must be doing her awkward but adorable dance she does when she’s feeling carefree. A smile makes a way onto her face when she hears Christen burst out into the chorus of _“Santa Tell Me”_ by Ariana Grande. As she was in the middle of belting out _If he really cares_ (she really emphasized on the “s”; like really emphasized as Tobin winces fondly at the crack in her voice) Tobin turns the corner and says, “Didn’t peg you for an Ariana fan.”

Christen screams and drops the wooden spoon. Her entire petite body jumps into the air and she looks so much like a cartoon with her eyes wide, her mouth wide open and the corner of her left eye twitching. Tobin doubles over in laughter and she straightens up after a minute and stares amusedly at her frozen wife who was still clutching at her heart like she was about to faint. Her eyes scan Christen’s body, noting that she is wearing her old soccer hoodie from UNC _(“I swear I’ll burn this thing the next chance I get” Tobin recalls Christen saying after a particular scrabble about college rivalries)_ and her Christmas themed boxers. Her curly hair is up in a messy bun with lots of strands of curly hair escaping and her glasses are a little crooked from her scare. Tobin waits a little while longer before she widens her arms and grins, “Well? Aren’t you going to say hi?”

Christen screams again, this time out of joy, and she starts crying hard, shaking her head in disbelief. She covers her mouth to hold back her sobs and runs her hands over her eyes. Shuddering, Christen cries so hard she has to hold the counter with one hand to keep her balance. Tobin has to hold her mouth closed with one hand in an effort to stay strong for her wife. After a minute, Christen sprints over to Tobin, her body shaking and Tobin meets her halfway. Her brown eyes are filling with tears as well and as soon as Christen is arm length away, she wraps her arm around Christen’s small waist. Tobin pulls her gently to her front and holds the smaller woman into a loving hug.

Christen’s small frame is still wracking with sobs and her arms are trembling as she wraps around Tobin’s broad frame. Tobin wordlessly picks her up underneath her thighs and Christen wraps her long legs around Tobin. She tucks her face into Tobin’s neck and inhales her unique scent. Tobin gently sits her on the tabletop. She runs her calloused hands under Christen’s boxers, feeling the soft, smooth skin and she stands between her parted thighs. Tobin leans back just a little, her eyes meeting Christen’s tear-filled ones. She runs the pads of her thumbs across her wife’s cheekbones to effectively clean up her tears.

Her wife grasps her face in her thin hands and leans in for a soft kiss. They peck each other’s lips gently, not able to deepen it due to the both of them crying, and after what felt like seconds or days or years, Christen pulls back a tad and mumbles, “You’re here.”

Tobin bottom lip trembles and a few tears spill out, “Yes. I’m here baby.” She presses her forehead to Christen’s and their noses nudge against each other, their tears intermingling. Tobin can sense Christen’s questions and she explains in a broken voice, “The captain let me go. He says I’ve been there for too long and deserve a leave of absence. So, here I am.”

Christen chokes a little, more tears coming out, and pulls Tobin into a tight hug. She whispers, “This is the best surprise ever. I’ve missed you.” She kisses Tobin that’s filled with love, affection, and desire. “I’ve missed this.”

Tobin peppers Christen’s face with kisses, as if it’s the last thing she would ever do. As Christen giggles and Tobin presses two kisses to her brow, she vows that she will never take Christen’s kisses for granted. She smooths Christen’s flyaway hairs, wipes away the tear stains, and kisses her nose. She pulls back a little and her eyes run over the freckles speckling Christen’s tan skin and light green of her eyes. She murmurs, “Is it just me, or have you gotten more beautiful?”

She blushes and pushes her face into Tobin’s neck, “You’ve already married me, you don’t have to butter me up.”

“It’s the truth cause I love you so much!” Christen laughs at the indignant tone. Tobin holds her wife for a few more seconds before Christen questions, “What’s that?” She gestures to the box in Tobin's hand. Tobin lights up, having forgotten about the gift in the excitement and exclaims, “Oh, I got you something!”

She gently untangles her arms from Christen and says, “I was in Thailand and this caught my eye. I was missing you so much that day and this,” She opened the box and Christen gasps, “reminded me of you.” Christen sniffles, her tears already coming back and Tobin soothes her, “Come on baby, turn around.”

Christen hops off the counter and turns. She closes her eyes as the feeling of the soldier’s rough but gentle hands clasping the necklace around her neck. She reaches up to fondle the emerald and sighs, “Thank you, baby. It’s beautiful. I love you so much.”

Tobin wraps her in a hug and tucks her face into Christen's neck, “For my one and only!”

Christen is content to just stay here in her wife’s arms forever but she jumps as she smells the food burning. “Oh shit! Babe!” She shakes Tobin, “The food’s burning.”

“Let it burn,” Tobin says, kissing down the brunette’s neck. Christen squirms and looks helplessly at the burning chicken. After a few more minutes, Tobin pops up after smelling the charred food and says seriously, “Okay, nevermind.” She bolts to the stove and quickly shuts off the stove and sighs, “Damn, it’s all burnt.” She turns shyly to her amused wife who had propped herself back on the counter, “Want take-out?”

“We wouldn’t need takeout if you had let me turn off the stove earlier.”

“I’ll make it up to you.”

Christen sighs, “You’re the best Christmas gift ever. Can I unwrap you now?” She glances at Tobin and with a sultry look, running her eyes up and down the muscled body.

Tobin turns to the clock, “It’s 9 o’clock love. It’s not Christmas. And was my necklace not the best Christmas present?” she asks teasingly.

She raises an eyebrow, “So you feeling a little smart now, huh?”

Tobin raises her hands defensively, “I’m just saying! Do you think that Thai place we love delivers at this time?”

Christen hops down from the counter and pulls her into another deep kiss, “I have cereal in the pantry.” Her hands slide up and down Tobin’s broad back.

“Cocoa pebbles?” Tobin perks up, running her hands down Christen’s backside. She smirks and looks away innocently as her wife mock-glares when she fondles her butt underneath the boxers..

Christen rolls her eyes, “Who do you think I am? Of course I have cocoa pebbles!”

“Thank you, you really are the woman of my dreams.”

“Merry Christmas and you’re welcome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> christen really killed us all with that instagram post huh. "merry christmas and you're welcome" (iykyk) but HAPPY HOLIDAYS YOU GUYS!! i appreciate all of you :)


	18. birthday suit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tobin is the endearing bookworm that is head over heels with christen

Tobin is hunched over her science notebook, furiously highlighting and rereading her notes before the teacher hands out the test. She knows she’s prepared, she studied for three hours last night and four days in advance. She doesn’t want to be cocky though, so she makes sure to reread every single detail. Tobin is so lost in the world of genetic engineering that she jumps out of her skin when her Christen loudly drops her textbooks next to her.

Christen bursts into laughter at the shocked look on Tobin’s face. She reaches over to push up Tobin’s crooked glasses and says, “You should see your face right now.”

Rolling her eyes, Tobin naturally quips back, “You should see yours. You have ‘unprepared’ written all over your face.”

Christen grimaces, “Is it that obvious I forgot there was a test today?”

“Yeah,” Tobin gestures to Christen’s open and blank notebook, “It seems so. And besides I know you.”

Christen flops onto Tobin’s chair even though hers is right there, nearly sitting on Tobin’s lap, and sighs, “I think I’ll be fine, I paid attention in class.”

Tobin scoots over a little so that Christen has more space to sit and she wills away the sudden warmth in her chest from their close proximity. She looks worried and a crease forms on her brows, “If you say so. Do you,” she looks around to make sure the teacher isn’t around, “Do you want me to slip you some answers?”

Christen turns in the shared seat and Tobin has to hold her breath from how beautiful Christen is up close. She’s going a little cross-eyed from how close her face is to Christen. The girl shakes her head, “That’s sweet Toby, but I think I’m good.”

Tobin doesn’t say anything and Christen decides to make herself comfortable before the bell rings. She settles back against Tobin’s shoulder, drops her head to the side, crosses her thighs so that her foot rests on Tobin’s thigh, and opens Tobin’s notebook. She nonchalantly scribbles her name and a few doodles on the corner of the page while reading Tobin’s notes, not aware of the fact Tobin’s heart is beating a million miles a minute. The lanky brunette tries to keep her breaths steady as her eyes trace over “Christen+Tobin” over and over again. It’s nothing new, all of this. Christen was always affectionate, from the moment she became Tobin’s biology partner. But something inside of Tobin’s heart just feels different and then she realizes with a start-

When the teacher orders everybody back to their own seats, Tobin practically pushes Christen off. She ignores the confused and slightly hurt look from Christen, instead focusing on straightening out her papers. Tobin tells herself she doesn’t miss the warmth from Christen’s body as she moves away and she tells herself that her heart doesn’t fly out of her chest when Christen’s fingers brushed against hers as she hands back the notebook. As the teacher passes out the test, she tells herself that Christen’s side profile when she’s talking to her friends at the other table isn’t the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. When she fills out question after question, she tells herself that Christen’s scrunched brow and confused eyes doesn’t give her the urge to give her every test answer for every test for the rest of the high school year. And a few moments after she turned her own test in, Christen walks to the front with a sway in her hips and Tobin tells herself she’s just looking at the pretty YSL belt on her tight jeans.

Yeah, Tobin has to tell herself a lot of lies.

After the class period has ended, Tobin rushes to pack her things because the teachers only allow five minutes to get wherever you need to go and Tobin’s agricultural science class is across campus. As she’s shoving her big-ass textbook into her over-stuffed backpack (she’s seriously going to need to see a chiropractor after this) she feels a tap on her shoulder. She turns to meet Christen’s bright eyes and distinctly she can hear Christen’s cheerleader friends telling her to hurry up but Christen is solely focused on Tobin.

“Hey, by the way, my birthday is coming up,” and Tobin already knows this because secretly, after Christen offhandedly mentioned it earlier in the year, she had written it down in her planner but nobody needed to know. “I just want to know if you wanna come to my party next weekend. It’ll be at the country club.”

Tobin doesn’t do parties. She never saw the point in getting drunk and hooking up and throwing up. But as Christen continues to peer at her with those eyes and the unrelenting fact she needs to haul ass to her next class, she hurriedly says, “Yeah, sure, sure.”

“Wait I need your-“ Tobin’s already out the door and Christen trails off, “number…”

A strong hand comes around Christen’s waist and she tenses up as a familiar deep voice says, “Baby, why are you inviting that geek to your party?”

Christen whips around to face her boyfriend and sneers, “She’s not a geek and I can invite whoever I want.” There’s a strange glint of protectiveness and something else in Christen’s eyes so Kevin decides to back off and let it go for now.

He slings her heavy arm over Christen’s petite body and drawls, “Okay, okay.” He struts out into the hallways with Christen under his arm, laughing and yelling with passing friends and Christen wants nothing more than to get away from him.

That night, Christen breaks up with him and finally feels like she can breathe freely.

\------------

“No,” Tobin groans, “I don’t like parties.”

Ali scoffs, “You’ve never been to one.” Ashlyn mutters something under her breath but when Ali whips her head around with raised eyebrows, she smiles innocently.

Tobin and Ashlyn are in the engineering room, working on a design for engineering class while studying for science club. They were great multi-taskers, real big bookworms, but they were not very street smart. But they were fine with that, of course, both of them never saw the reason to have so many pointless friends. They were all each other needed.

Ali had come to join them and to spend time with Ashlyn after cheerleading practice. The two were the only ones who knew about Tobin’s crush on Christen and Ali think the upcoming party is the perfect opportunity to “get her girl”.

Tobin huffs, “Because why in the world would I want to go to a party where nobody likes me and when I know I could be doing better things?”

“Because it’s Christen’s birthday party!” Ali says, as if it’s obvious.

She sighs, “We’re not even friends. She probably just asked me out of obligation.”

At that, Ashlyn raises her eyebrows, “Well, in biology today, you guys were looking extra cuddly. It actually looked like you guys were more than friends.”

Ali squeals and presses for details. Ashlyn happily gives it to her, emphasizing and over exaggerating a tiny bit to get on Tobin’s nerves (“For the last time, I did not cop a feel!” Tobin groans as Ali bends over in laughter and Ashlyn sits there looking proud).

After a few more minutes of bickering, Tobin gets distracted by something she finds in the teacher’s cabinet. “Look!” she yells, “It’s a woodcutter! We can finish our model without having to do anymore hand sawing!” Ashlyn drops her hand-saw excitedly and runs over to the ecstatic girl. As they fawn over the machine with big eyes, Christen walks in the doorway with her eyebrows raised in confusion.

“Uh,” she mouths to Ali who was looking fondly at Ashlyn, “what are they doing?”

Ali mouths back, “Engineering project.” Christen’s mouth forms a ‘o’ and she nods in understanding. She leans against the door frame, mouth curving into an adoring smile as she watches Tobin inspect the pieces of wood. She studies Tobin, noting how carefree she looks when she's working on the project, the way her beanie tilts to the side and the way her giant smile takes up a good portion of her face. She watches as Tobin turns her way but her heart falls in confusion as Tobin looks right past her and runs to grab a measuring ruler and pencil. Christen frowns and Ali walks over sympathetically, “Does she not see me? Is she ignoring me or what?”

Ali laughs, “Oh, no, Tobin’s just in her zone. You know how she can be; whenever she’s creating something or listening to animal documentaries, she doesn’t register anything around her. That goes for Ashlyn as well and that’s why they’re best friends.” There’s something fond in Ali’s voice that catches Christen’s attention and Christen turns to her with a grin, “You like her.”

Ali scoffs, “No I don’t.” Christen nods enthusiastically like she’s figured it out, “You do! Why else do you come to this room or the math room or the science room after practice? You haven’t even changed yet!” She gestures to Ali’s cheerleading uniform but Ali retorts, “What about you? You came here and you haven’t changed yet either!”

Now realizing she’s put herself on the spot, Christen self-consciously tugs on her bow and peers down at the long exposed legs. Ali asks, “How did you even know they were down here?”

Christen blushes and mumbles, “Had to ask around.” Ali smirks triumphantly but looking at the pleading look on Christen’s face, she decides to drop it. They two lean back and watch the two excited girls cut wood. Ali chides Ashlyn when she starts to horseplay with Tobin, “Ashlyn, please, don’t play around the woodcutter.”

The two look up sheepishly and Tobin turns beet red when she realizes Christen is standing there. Without meaning to, her eyes trail the tall brunette, taking in the short and tight cheerleading uniform that showed off her tan legs. Her eyes linger on Christen’s legs for a while longer and then she forces herself to pull her gaze up to Christen’s amused eyes.

Tobin snaps her gaze away and mutters to Ashlyn, “Okay hold this steady.” She doesn’t see the fallen face behind her and Christen pretends that Tobin’s lack of acknowledgement to her doesn’t hurt. She murmurs to Ali dejectedly, “Okay, I have to go now.”

“Wait, what did you come here for anyways?” Ali asks but Christen ignores her and continues to walk away. As she’s out of sight, she balls up the piece of paper that had her number written and a doodle of two hearts on it and throws it away.

\-----------

Tobin notices something’s different between her and Christen, but she can’t figure out why. She notices the subtle distance Christen puts between herself and Tobin and she notices the short, clipped responses she’s given whenever she tries to start a conversation. Ali and Ashlyn notice that her mood seems sadder lately but they chose to let Tobin figure it out.

On the other hand, Christen is conflicted. She wants to stay indifferent to Tobin, hoping that the girl would come ask her what’s wrong but in the passing days, Tobin acts as if nothing’s wrong. The longer Christen gave Tobin the cold shoulder, the more her heart aches to be closer to the girl. She misses the book-loving brunette but she’ll be damned if she’s going to be the one to crack first.

As Tobin watches Christen leave without a goodbye with fallen eyes, Ashlyn claps in front of her face.

“Dude, what the hell?” She bats Ashlyn’s hands away from her face.

“You gotta go to her party.”

“Uh, why?” Tobin looks away and picks at her favorite hoodie’s frayed ends. It had “Spelling Bee Champion” on the front and Tobin wears it proudly. She won the regional spelling bee and almost went to national level. Ashlyn teases her about it on so many occasions but Tobin knows she’s really proud of her.

Ashlyn gave her a pointed glare, “You gotta get back on her good graces. I don’t know what you did, but you need to fix it. I can’t stand the both of you looking like kicked puppies anymore.”

Tobin sighs and nods in agreement, “Okay, fine. I’ll go but you and Ali have to go with me.”

They start to make their way to agriculture before Tobin stops, “Wait, did you call us kicked puppies?”

“Yeah, but let’s be real, out of the two of you Christen’s cuter.”

“I agree.” Tobin says solemnly and hits Ashlyn as she cackles.

\-----------

Tobin idles along the sidewalk as she waits for Ali to pick her and Ashlyn up. Ashlyn was stuck on a crossword puzzle and Tobin was looking over her gift. She had gotten Christen a pretty snow globe with two figure-skaters in the middle. Ashlyn assured her that it was a cute gift and she didn’t need to worry, but Tobin could already hear the teasing remarks from her classmates. _Just go in, give her your gift, apologize for whatever you did wrong and get the hell out of there_ Tobin thinks.

She examines her outfit, secretly wondering if Christen would approve. She wasn’t going to go out of her comfort zone to get all dolled up for a party she wasn’t going to stay at, but looking at her spelling bee hoodie, tight ripped jeans, and high-cut Air Jordan 1, Tobin starts to feel self-conscious. She’s about to go inside to get a different hoodie when Ali pulls up.

“Let’s go, we’re late!” Ali beams as Ashlyn gives her a hug through the window and Tobin slumps in the backseat. The two in the front chatted up a storm but all Tobin could focus on was the butterflies in her stomach, threatening to burst out. She tugs her beanie over her ears and tries her best to relax.

The car ride is too short and soon they’re pulled up to the country club. Immediately, Tobin and Ashlyn realize they’re incredibly underdressed, everybody wearing some form of formal wear and now looking at Ali, Tobin sees her simple purple dress. Tobin takes a deep breath and exits the car, hand carrying the gift. As they walk into the building, Tobin sees some questioning glances being thrown their way and Ashlyn whispers to her, “Hurry up and get your apology over with so we can go to Five Guys.”

Ali overhears her and frowns, “I thought you guys were staying for the whole party?” Ashlyn looks sheepish and shakes her head in the negative. Tobin leaves the two to figure it out and she weaves through the crowd, craning her neck to find the birthday girl. She gets shoved to the side roughly by a passing boy and he snaps, “Watch where you’re going.”

Tobin is about to apologize when she hears, “How about you watch it?” Tobin turns slowly and fails to keep her mouth closed as she takes in Christen’s beautiful figure. Her eyes scan the olive green body-hugging dress that is only being held up by two thin straps. Her tan legs seemed to go on for miles when she’s wearing tall, strappy, silver stilettos. With those heels on, Christen is almost as tall as Tobin.

The boy shrugs it off and walks away and Christen turns to Tobin, who was still gaping. Tobin quickly closes her mouth and straightens up as Christen looks at her with dull eyes. She murmurs, never receiving this kind of look from Christen before, “Um, hi.”

Christen doesn’t drop the cold look and Tobin feels more and more unwelcomed by the second. She stammers, “S-Sorry for barging in, I don’t think you really wanted me here in the first place but I just wanted to say happy birthday,” she abruptly shakes the bag, “and I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you mad at me. I promise I will leave soon so you can enjoy your party.” Tobin’s about to shove the bag into Christen’s hands and bolt, the feeling of embarrassment becoming too much when soft hands gently cover her own. Christen softly pulls the bag from Tobin and drops the tough guy facade. She looks at her with pleading eyes, begging her to stay wordlessly. So she stands there, watching Christen pull out the snow globe with a beaming smile.

Tobin shuffles, “I’m sorry it’s not all that. There’s a receipt in the bag if you want to return it.” Christen’s gaze sharply snaps up and she says, “Why would I do that? This is the most thoughtful gift.”

Tobin shrugs and scratches the back of her neck. Christen smiles fondly and pulls Tobin into a hug, “Thank you for coming.” Tobin fights the blush that makes way onto her face and wraps her arms around Christen’s waist.

“Mhm, you’re welcome. I’ll get out of your hair now,” Tobin starts to turn away but Christen holds on tighter, “No, don’t leave.”

Tobin pulls back just a little, leaving her hands on Christen’s hips, “I assumed you wanted me to leave?” Christen shakes her head in the negative, “I was looking for you for a while.” She finally releases Tobin but doesn’t leave much space between them. Tobin doesn’t know what to do with that information but can’t help tuck a piece of straightened hair behind Christen’s ear. She shrugs, “Well, I don’t really belong here anyways.” She laughs self-deprecatingly, “Trust me, it’ll look a lot better on your image if Ashlyn and I leave right now.”

Christen looks at her with the most serious eyes, “I don’t care what other people think. Please stay?” Tobin can’t find it in her to say no so she nods slowly. Christen brightens and takes her hand to lead her through the crowd. At the corner of her eye, she catches Ali and Ashlyn kissing against a wall so they won’t be leaving anytime soon.

 _It's about damn time_ Tobin thinks amusedly before she gets yanked again.

Christen pulls them towards a group of cheerleaders and Tobin follows along, her eyes catch Kevin getting cozy with another girl. Even though the girl is fully focused on him, he is glaring at the pair with hostility and Tobin tears her eyes away. She brings Christen to a stop and when Christen turns to her questioningly, Tobin asks, “Are you okay with Kevin being with another girl?”

Christen waves her hand, “Nah, I don’t care. I broke up with him like a week ago. Why?” Tobin breathes a sigh of relief and says, “Oh no, I just saw him with another girl and just wondered if you knew about it.” Christen smiles and offhandedly says, “Yeah, he’s not the one who matters to me.” Before Tobin could process her words, she’s being dragged again.

As Christen talks animatedly with some of her friends and Tobin is standing off handedly to the side, their hands still joined, Tobin decides to take a leap and intertwine their fingers. Her heart does a little dance of victory at the beaming smile on Christen’s face. She gets a lot of weird stares from Christen’s friends at their intertwined hands but Tobin chooses to ignore them. After they make their way around the club, the temperature has cooled down significantly. Even the heat from all the dancing bodies doesn’t warm Christen up ( _Probably because the dress covers relatively nothing_ Tobin thinks as she runs her eyes down Christen’s lace covered back). After shivering for the nth time, Tobin tugs on their joined hands, “Do you want my hoodie?”

Christen shakes her head, “No, it’s fine,” she winces as the doors open once more to let in a cool gust of wind, “Okay, nevermind.” She grins sheepishly and Tobin laughs at her expression. She pulls the spelling bee hoodie over her head, not aware that her plain white shirt underneath had ridden up, exposing Tobin’s abs. She also misses the way Christen’s tongue darts out to lick her lips and her eyes darken significantly.

Tobin gestures for Christen to raise her arms and gently slips the warm hoodie over Christen. She is immediately engulfed in a smell that’s so Tobin and Christen never wants to give it back. Tobin can’t help but grin at the sight of Christen all dolled up in a pretty outfit with her old hoodie on top. She tugs Christen’s hair out of the hood and Christen smiles gratefully at her. She says with a smile, “I didn’t know you were a spelling bee champion.”

Tobin shrugs nonchalantly and something sparks in Christen’s eye. But before she could say anything, somebody yells, “Christen! Come play spin-the-bottle!”

“What are we in, second grade?” Christen murmurs and the moment is broken. Nevertheless, they make their way over to the clearly intoxicated people and get seated in a circle. Christen is pulled to the other side of the circle and when she protests, saying “I’m sitting with Tobin”, Tobin shakes her head and encourages her to go with her friends. Christen pouts at her and seats herself directly across from Tobin.

Tobin is about to leave the game and find Ashlyn, never one to play dumb party games like that. Especially if she’s never had her first kiss yet and she’d rather die than get the first kiss at spin-the-bottle. Ali and Ashlyn pop up though and immediately Tobin feels more comfortable. She wiggles her eyebrows at Ashlyn, who looks disheveled (most likely from making out with Ali) and Ashlyn flips her off. She saunters over to Tobin and plops down next to her, Ali quickly following suit.

“So,” Tobin draws out the ‘o’, loving the blush appearing on both their faces, “How’s the party so far?”

“S’good, really good,” Ashlyn murmurs nonchalantly. Tobin rolls her eyes at the vague answer but decides to let it go. She checks her watch for the time, noting they had been at the party for a few hours now. She decides to have one last word and she gives a pointed look at the two, “It’s about to time, honestly. Just saying, I was this close to throwing up from all the gross love thing you guys had going about.” Tobin takes her thumb and index finger to indicate how close she was.

Ali blushes and takes Ashlyn’s hand. Her eyes narrow at the bottle in the middle of the circle and she turns to Ashlyn, “Yeah, we aren’t playing, are we?”

“Nope,” Ashlyn easily agrees, “I’m just gonna watch Toby here.”

Tobin shakes her head vigorously, “I’m not going to lose my lip virginity at a spin-the-bottle game.” She’s about to launch into more defensive statements when Ali scrunches her eyebrows and interrupts, “Where’s your hoodie?”

“My what?” Tobin answers dumbly.

“Your spelling bee hoodie,” Ali says and Ashlyn’s eyes grow wide in realization. “But, Toby, you love that hoodie more than me. Who did you give it to?”

Tobin blushes and tilts her head in the direction of Christen, who was watching them carefully. Ashlyn opens her mouth to interrogate her friend but then somebody claps and yells, “Okay, let’s start the game.”

Ashlyn and Ali move off to the side and Ashlyn gives Tobin a pointed look that says, “We will talk about this later” and “You better play the freaking game.” Tobin gulps and situates herself within the circle.

A girl Tobin vaguely knows from her math class went first and since they were all going counter-clockwise, Tobin would be one of the last to go (which was a relief). Tobin could only hope she doesn’t get picked or the kids will get too drunk to play the stupid game.

The turns go by quickly and Tobin notices that every time the bottle doesn’t point towards her, Christen seems to breathe a sigh of relief. _Or something, it was a sigh of something_ Tobin thinks as the bottle narrowly misses her again and Christen heaves another sigh. The girl on her right lights up and leans in to kiss the approaching boy. Tobin tries her best not to roll her eyes from the awestruck look on the pair’s faces and thinks _Chill, it’s not like you’re going to marry him_. Tobin giggles at the thought and waves off the curious glance from the girl and soon, the girl seated on Christen’s left spins the bottle.

Tobin is so focused on opening a can of Sprite that she doesn’t realize the bottle is pointed directly at her. She doesn’t see the way Christen’s face pales and the way the girl’s eyes seem to brighten. Tobin finally looks up to see her slowly walking over, hears the wolf whistles, and realizes that it’s Shirley. She used to be Tobin’s lab partner in 8th grade science and as oblivious as Tobin is, she knows for a fact Shirley has liked her for a long time, but Tobin was unable to reciprocate those same feelings. So, when the school year ended, she decided to not acknowledge Shirley’s obvious crush, which now she realizes, was not the smartest choice.

Shirley comes closer and as soon as she’s less than a foot away, she squats down and smiles. Tobin’s mouth is slightly parted, all for the wrong reasons, and Shirley takes it as an invitation. She leans in and before Tobin can react, presses a hard kiss to her lips. Tobin is frozen, rooted to her spot, and Shirley pulls away after a few seconds with a beaming smile. Shirley's figure blocks Tobin's view of Christen (which means she also blocks the way Christen's lip trembles in the slightest way, the way her green eyes dim a little, and the way she drops her head, defeated). Shirley sashays back to her spot with a new aura of confidence and Tobin tries to discreetly wipe her lips with the back of her hand.

She sees Ashlyn out of her peripheral vision cheering for her but Tobin tries desperately to catch Christen’s eyes, which were downcast. Her friends egg on Christen to spin the bottle, but Christen fumbles out an excuse and leaves the circle. Tobin bolts up and dusts off her pants, ignoring the calls from Shirley. She follows quickly after Christen’s receding figure and all Ashlyn can think is _What in The Bachelorette is this?_

\-------------

Tobin pushes through the front doors, head swiveling in all directions. There are still a lot of people outside as well ( _Why did she invite so many damn people?_ Tobin groans) and her eyes catch the olive green dress disappearing down a trail. She sprints past a couple drunk people and yells out an apology after she bumps into another girl, effectively spilling her drink. The emphatic part of her appears and she stops to gather some napkins to help mop up the stain on the girl’s coat but the girl seems angry with her already and shoves her away.

 _See if I be nice to you again huh how about that_ Tobin thinks as the girl goes off on a rant at her retreating figure. _Okay what was I out here for? Oh yeah! Christen!_ Tobin speed walks down the trail, head nodding in appreciation at the scenery. _Oh see here_ , Tobin thinks as she continues to walk, _the sunset is hitting the flowers perfect, adding a mysterious cast of shadows across the petals._ She hums as her long fingers dance across a rose, _Yeah, this would be a perfect place to paint._

“You can paint?” A voice breaks Tobin out of her thoughts. A wave of embarrassment washes over her and first thing she says is, “Did I say all that out loud?”

Shirley laughs and walks closer, “Yeah, but it was pretty cute.” Tobin scratches the back of her neck awkwardly and she mumbles, “Yeah.”

Shirley comes within a foot of Tobin and smiles winningly. She has an expectant look on her face and Tobin doesn’t know what her intentions are. Shirley then places a hand on Tobin’s waist and Tobin’s eyes widen and all she thinks is _Okay time to come clean._

“Shirley…” Tobin sighs and backs out of her personal space. Shirley follows with confused eyes, “I’m sorry if I sent any mixed signals. I like you, I really do, you’re a great friend,” Tobin grimaces as Shirley’s face falls at ‘friend’ and she wills herself to continue, “I don’t have any romantic feelings for you. I didn’t mean to lead you on or whatever.”

Shirley looks stricken and hurt and Tobin rushes out, “Please, understand, I don’t think I’m the best for you. You’re an amazing person, and you deserve better than me. I, uh, think I like somebody else anyways.”

Shirley nods in understanding and forces a smile on her face, “I gathered that, honestly. Thank you for being honest, it’s one of the reasons why I like you.”

Tobin shrugs, “I’m sure you’ll find a girl that really deserves you.”

“Thank you. I’m really sorry for chasing you out here. Go find Christen and get your girl.” Shirley smiles as Tobin sputters. “Yeah, you’re not subtle. I think I’ve always known you liked her.”

Tobin says nothing, just a blush dusting her cheeks, and Shirley starts to walk away. She waves goodbye and as soon as she’s out of sight, Tobin raises her head up to the sky and thanks the Lord. _Thank you God for not making it harder than it needed to be_ Tobin thinks _Now what did I need to do again?_

“Yeah what do you need to do?”

Tobin jumps out of her skin and then smiles sheepishly, “I said that out loud too?”

Christen just looks at her with adoration and Tobin grumbles, “I’m really freaking embarrassing. How can I not keep my thoughts to myself? The most basic human capability and yet, here I am.”

Walking closer, Christen lets out a laugh and says, “I think it’s cute.” She stops in front of Tobin, innocently pushing her hands into the hoodie pocket, and tilts her head to the side a little.

“Um, so I came out here to check on you. Y’know, since you bolted from your own party,” Tobin explains. She wrings her hands in nerves from the close proximity of Christen and her eyes dart to the side.

“What did Shirley want?” All of a sudden, the playful tone from Christen’s voice disappears and something else appears. Tobin shuffles her feet and tugs on her beanie, “Uh, nothing.”

Christen gives her an admonishing glare, “Tobin.”

She sighs, “Actually we had a talk that was needed for a long time. Very enlightening, I must say.” Tobin has a faraway look in her eyes and Christen misinterprets it. She snaps at Tobin, hurt and a little bit angry, “So, I’m guessing you two are dating now?”

Tobin’s head snaps back to Christen, making eye contact. Her brown eyes meet cold green ones and she says defensively, “No! Absolutely not!”

Christen has the decency to look embarrassed, “Sorry, you just got this faraway look in your eyes.” She waves her hand in front of Tobin’s face. Tobin shakes her head and smiles, “Yeah, no, we aren’t a thing. We won’t ever be a thing, really.”

“Actually, she came out here to get an understanding with me. We haven’t been on the same page for a while, but now I’m glad we are.” Christen nods slowly, taking it in. Tobin’s about to add more but then her eyes catch more flowers. Her eyes light up and she exclaims, “Look, Chris!” She takes Christen’s hands and drags her over to the softly lit garden. A garden really is an understatement. It’s a vast meadow full of flowers, dimly lit by the few electronic garden lights and the full moon and stars. Tobin excitedly points out each kind, describing the characteristics and features that make each unique, and Christen looks absolutely smitten.

Tobin doesn’t know how long they stay out there for, both in their own world. Christen is listening to all of it, but she’s only really paying attention to how animated and passionate Tobin is when she’s talking about flowers. When Tobin describes the Camellia, “It means perfect and gratitude. It-“

“Wait, flowers have meanings?” Christen questions curiously. She tugs on Tobin’s hand to grab her attention. Tobin nods like an excited puppy, causing her big glasses to slip down her nose and Christen fixes it with her free hand.

Something flits across Tobin’s eyes and Christen asks, “What?”

Tobin points her index finger, indicating to hold on a second, and drops Christen’s hand. She says quickly, “Stay here.”

Christen doesn’t have a chance to say anything before Tobin bolts away, seemingly in search of something. Her eyes follow the frantic girl, weaving through rows of flowers. She tucks her hands into her pockets and shrugs on the hood. It’s getting chillier and sooner or later, Christen is going to break and force Tobin to go back to the party with her.

She answers a few texts asking where she was and only looks up when she hears the pounding of feet. Tobin runs up to her gleefully and pulls out a bouquet of flowers. Christen breaks out into a huge smile, the one that makes the corners of her eyes crinkle and her nose scrunched up.

“For me?” Christen asks. Tobin nods and gently hands the bouquet to the birthday girl. Christen takes it and sniffs it delicately, her smile growing larger by the second.

“Thank you, Tobin. This is so sweet,” Christen coos. She reaches out to intertwine their fingers and asks softly, “Can you tell me what they all mean?”

Tobin takes a deep breath and starts, “Well, this azalea,” she touches the light pink flower, “means passion. Your passion for everything really inspires me. This,” she points to a violet colored flower, “is a bluebell. It symbolizes gratitude, constancy, and humility. You are all of those things, and it makes me-“ Tobin stops in the middle of the sentence, clears her throat, and continues, “this chrysanthemum represents joy, optimism, and perfection. Yet, again this flower really describes you well.”

By now, a blush has spread all through Christen’s face, she never being the one to receive compliments so sweet and so thoughtfully, “This dahlia means elegance and dignity and this gardenia means secret love.”

Tobin tries to blow past the gardenia with rushed words but Christen catches it anyways, “Secret love?”

Tobin hums in affirmative, pretending to be extremely interested in her shoes and Christen positively beams. “You love me?”

Taking a huge breath for some courage, Tobin breathes out, “I think I’ve been in love with you since 8th grade.”

Christen’s eyes widen, “Really? When was this?”

Tobin reminisces, “Remember PE class?” She chuckles, “That was possibly the worst class of the entire semester but…”

_Tobin was juggling a soccer ball, a little trick she learned to pass time in gym class. Ashlyn had betrayed her immensely (“For the last time, I didn’t choose art class Tobin! The counselors chose my schedule. I did not betray you!”) so she was left alone. Every. Single. Day. (Not that she really minded)._

_However, today has her feeling all sorts of lonely, but she knows she’s too awkward to go up and make new friends. But watching all the people horseplay with their friend groups and big crowds of teammates from sports teams play ball together gives Tobin a longing ache._

_It must’ve shown on her face, the aching loneliness because a group of girls from the cheerleading team passes by her with somewhat sympathetic faces but they mostly looked at her with an entitled and superior aura. Tobin keeps her head down and plays with the soccer ball a little more until she notices black Converse out of her peripheral vision._

_She looks up and her heart stills. It was Christen, the most beautiful girl Tobin has ever seen. Tobin has had a crush on her for a while, ever since she was forced to go to a football game with Ashlyn and saw her cheering on the sidelines. There was always something passionate about Christen, and that’s what drew Tobin in the most. But since she never has any classes with the cheerleader, her feelings never grew from the stage of remote attraction. However, Christen’s smiling at her with her crooked teeth showing and her freckles are showing beautifully due to the bright sun and Tobin doesn’t breathe and something in her gut twists._

_Christen wordlessly takes the soccer ball, walks a few steps backwards and quirks an eyebrow. Tobin nods slightly and Christen volleys the ball to her. Tobin’s eyes widen, impressed, and Christen gestures to her as if to say, “Well? Pass me the ball.” They play a game of keepy-uppy and even though her friends are calling for her attention, Christen is solely focused on keeping Tobin company. When the gym period ends, Christen hands the ball back with a softer smile and waves farewell._

“Wow,” Christen sighs, “I didn’t think you remembered that. I always tried to get your attention, always thought you were cute, but you never paid me any attention until that day.”

Tobin laughs, “Oh believe me, you had my attention every single day. You just never noticed.”

Tobin starts to feel self-conscious about her confession and rushes to say, “I know it’s not the most dramatic awakening like in the movies or whatever. And we were in 8th grade, like what? What do I even know about love at 14 years old? Sorry, I know that’s really weird.”

Christen shakes her head, “No, no, it sounds perfect. I, uh, funnily enough,” she chuckles, “think I really acknowledged my feelings for you that day in the engineering room. You didn’t say anything to me, didn’t really acknowledge me, but the hurt I felt made me realize how strongly I feel for you.”

Tobin straightens, “Oh no, is that why you were mad at me these past couple weeks?”

Christen laughs self-deprecatingly, “Yeah, I know, petty.”

Wrapping strong arms around Christen’s waist, Tobin murmurs, “Let us never go without speaking that long ever again.”

“Agreed,” Christen nods and wraps her arms around Tobin’s neck, “It was killing me not to talk to you for that long.”

Tobin grins and then suddenly turns shy, “Do you think we’re going too fast? We’ve only truly been friends for a few months and you just got out of a relationship and I literally have never been in one. In fact, I got my first kiss tonight,” Tobin catches the flare of jealousy in Christen’s eyes, “So, I’m just making sure we’re not rushing things and if you’re really sure you want this.”

Christen scratches the nape of Tobin’s neck, smoothing out her baby hairs and says, “No, I don’t think so. You’re my best friend,” Tobin’s eyes widen, “Because you always make me feel comfortable, no pressure. All my ‘friends’ just use me but you’re different. So yes, even though I’ve been friends with them for forever, you’re my best friend.”

Tobin doesn’t know what to say other than to squeeze Christen’s hips a little more. Christen continues, “I know you and you know me better than anybody else. I’m all for going slow, but I just want you to know that you’re the only one I want.”

“Swear?” Christen melts at the vulnerability in Tobin’s voice. She leans in to press her nose and forehead to Tobin, their breaths ghosting across each other’s faces. Slowly but ever so surely, she gently presses a light kiss to Tobin’s waiting lips. It’s soft and chaste, a large contrast to any other kiss Christen has ever experienced. While Tobin may not be the most experienced kisser, Christen feels as if she’s on Cloud 9 as Tobin gently pulls Christen’s bottom lip.

They come up for air and they can’t contain the large grins spreading across their faces. “Wow,” Tobin breathes, “I’m going to officially count this as my first kiss.”

Christen raises an eyebrow, “Shirley’s didn’t count?”

Sheepishly shaking her head, Tobin mumbles, “I don’t count things that have no meaning. It was just a game, and I only like you.”

Christen grins wickedly and fists the front of Tobin’s shirt, pulling her face impossibly closer, “Yeah you do.”

They kiss for a while longer until Tobin’s phone starts ringing obnoxiously. Christen pulls back, “Is that _‘Baby got Back’_?”

Tobin groans, “Freaking Ashlyn…” she answers the call with a curt, “What?”

Because of their close proximity, Christen can hear the indignant words coming through the speaker, _“Wow, no hello best friend?”_

Rolling her eyes, Tobin gets on with it, “Hello, best friend. What do you need?”

_“Don’t give me that attitude, Tobito.”_

“I literally did what you asked me to.”

_“Where are you?”_

“Nowhere, I’m coming back in a minute.”

_“Wait that doesn’t answer my-“_

Tobin hastily ends the call and sighs. “Ready to go back?”

Christen nods and starts walking, tugging Tobin behind her. As they emerge from the trail, Ali and Ashlyn’s eyes light up with understanding. Ashlyn sends Tobin a suggestive smirk, but with Christen’s hand clasped around hers and her lips still tingling from their kiss, Tobin can’t bring herself to care.

Christen leans in to whisper against Tobin’s ear, “Well, happy birthday to me, huh?”

“Happy birthday Chris.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy freaking birthday to the queen herself. love love love you.  
> btw, how would you guys feel if i made a angsty oneshot with no happy ending? as a reader, i hate those kind of things but as a writer, it may be interesting


	19. shopping trips?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christen forcing tobin to go shopping with her

“Toby!” Christen drags out the ‘y’ in a whiny, airy voice. Tobin heaves a sigh, knowing her wife only called her that when she really wants something. She lays back against the couch, book in hand, and finally responds, “Yes?”

Christen comes bounding up and flops down on the far side of the couch, across from Tobin and sits back on her haunches. She’s sporting a huge grin and already Tobin says in a warning tone, “No.”

She pouts, “You didn’t know what I was going to say!” Tobin tsks and flips a page in her book, “I just know it’s something I’m not going to like.”

Christen stays silent and Tobin turns slowly to her right with questioning eyes. She’s met with the sight of Christen’s raised eyebrows and stuck out bottom lip. She sighs, “Okay, what?”

Her wife lights up and excitedly asks, “Can you please go shopping with me?”

Tobin immediately shakes her head, “No, no, no. Why can’t you go by yourself?” Christen whines, “I need you to give me criticism, comments on my outfits! I need a second opinion.” Tobin grumbles and pouts at her wife. Christen shakes her head, “No don’t give me those eyes.” Tobin says with a whine, “Can’t we just stay here and cuddle? I want cuddles!”

Christen laughs, “Sweetheart, you got cuddles this morning! A lot of them for that matter.” Tobin stays silent with an adorable pout painted on her lips and looks away. She absolutely hates shopping, she only goes whenever she absolutely needs to (or when she gets to buy new shoes).

Intently looking at the painting on the opposite wall, she doesn’t see Christen crawling over to her. Her gaze snaps back to Christen as she lowers herself on Tobin’s lap. Her wife wraps her arms around Tobin’s broad shoulder and leans in for a deep kiss.

Tobin groans, “Chris I know what you’re doing,” she speaks between kisses, “You really think you can seduce me into… into…” Christen smiles against Tobin’s lip as she purposely grinds down hard, “Into what baby?”

“Crap,” Tobin breathes out. She places her hands on Christen’s soft hips and pushes her back. Christen looks down at her with dark green eyes and licks her lips with a smirk. Tobin mock-glares at her wife and finally breaks, “Oh my God, fine!”

Christen giggles and raises her arms in victory, “Yes! I knew you would crack!” Tobin is about to protest but Christen leans in to smack Tobin’s lips. “Love you baby! Let me go get ready.”

Tobin leans back and sinks further into the couch cushions as she watches her beautiful wife skip to the bedroom, buzzing with excitement. _I better get so many cuddles and shit for this_ Tobin thinks as she heaves herself off the couch.

\----------

Tobin shuffles behind her ecstatic wife who was dragging her from store to store. Her gloominess must’ve shown on her face because she received numerous sympathetic looks from men being dragged by their other significant other. After a couple more steps Christen turns and wraps Tobin in another kiss for the nth time and murmurs lovingly, “Baby, please wipe that pout off your face.”

Grinning cheekily, Tobin responds, “Actually, I think I’ll keep it for the sole purpose of getting free kisses.” Christen laughs and turns to continue dragging Tobin. “Babe, where are we even going?”

Christen doesn’t answer for a second and then stops abruptly, causing Tobin to smash into her back. “Please watch where you’re going love.” Tobin chuckles, “It’s hard to when all my attention is on that amazing ass of yours,” she pinches Christen’s butt teasingly. “Honestly, those shorts I had custom-made for you look _outrageously_ sexy on you.” Her eyes roam appreciatively over her wife’s backside, loving the messy stiches she had created on an olive-green pair of shorts. Christen pats her pockets and smiles adoringly, “Yes, yes, I love these shorts so much. It really was the most thoughtful gift.” Tobin takes her hand and places a kiss on the back. She then slaps Christen’s butt and pushes past her with a whistle, ignoring the warning look from her wife and walks into shop.

Christen brushes by Tobin with a tap on the ass and wanders over to the first clothing racks she sees. Tobin follows awkwardly, heartlessly prodding at a few hangers. She fingers a hideous green dress and thinks _This would be the most useful in the fireplace._ She sniggers at the thought and continues browsing aimlessly. Out of nowhere, Christen squeals and pushes a few items of clothing into Tobin’s chest. “Babe! I have an idea!”

“Oh no.”

Smacking her shoulder, Christen continues, “While I go try on those clothes, I want you to choose a few outfits for me. You’re the creative one here.”

Tobin groans, “Chris, seriously?”

Wagging her finger, Christen backs away to the dressing room with a few hangers, “I thought you loved me!”

“I do… a little too much for that matter,” Tobin murmurs. Christen grins and disappears into the dressing rooms with a, “Then do it!”

“But what do you want with… these…” Tobin trails off, limply holding the abandoned clothes. She sighs and looks around the expensive shop, noting the colorful jumpsuits that compliments Christen’s skin tone. She slowly walks over to pick it out and then turns to find more. After a few minutes, she thinks _I’m really getting the hang of this._ She chooses a few more modest outfits and walks to the dressing rooms where Christen disappeared in.

“Christen?”

A door flies open and Christen storms out in just a pair of dress pants and bra, “Oh my God, finally! What took you so long?”

“Uh, it’s literally been,” she checks her watch, “8 minutes.”

Christen waves her off and excitedly takes the hangers from Tobin’s arms. She examines the outfits with interest and smacks a kiss to Tobin’s cheek, “Love this, and love you!” She turns to go back into the room but Tobin pulls her back by the belt loops, “Can I come in?” Tobin wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

“No!” Christen whispers harshly and Tobin makes a whining noise, “But I’m your wife!”

“Yes you are,” Christen coos, “which is why you can’t come in.”

“That literally has no logic…” Christen turns to go change again but Tobin pulls her back once more, “Tobin, come on.” Tobin closes her eyes and puckers her lips, waiting for a kiss. Christen rolls her eyes but indulges the brunette is a surprisingly soft kiss. Christen pulls away and heads into the dressing room yelling, “Stay there!”

Tobin flops down on a chair and sighs, “Nowhere else to go.” She fiddles with her phone for a bit, sending multiple 8 ball games to Allie and she had just won another game when Christen calls, “Babe?”

“Still here.”

The door swings open and Christen skips out donning black suit with a lacy see-through cami that Tobin had chosen for her. She twirls with purpose and Tobin beams at her and gives her a thumbs-up. Christen waits with her hands on her hips and when no words comes out of her wife, she says expectantly, “Well?”

Tobin blinks, “What?”

“What’s your opinion on this?”

“Oh, uh, you look great. Really pretty, Chris.”

Christen sighs, “Really? That’s all you can say?”

Tobin shrugs, “Yeah, I guess.” That was apparently the wrong thing to say, since Christen was clearly fishing for compliments. She sighs and turns away and Tobin is quick to grab her hips. “No, no, wait.” She pulls Christen closer until underside of her breasts are at Tobin’s eye level. “Actually…” She hugs the underside of Christen’s butt and looks up grinning adorably.

“You look absolutely stunning.” Christen giggles and leans down for another kiss, happy with the compliment. She goes to try on the other outfits chosen by her wife but it’s not long before she’s bored by the store and drags Tobin to another.

“Next time,” Christen says as they walk into another store, “Don’t make me fish for anymore compliments. I think I deserve them.”

“Of course, my little attention bunny,” Tobin coos and Christen fake gags at the pet name. She turns with puppy eyes and Tobin is already backing away to the clothing racks, “I’m on it, I’m on it.”

Christen disappears yet again into the dressing room with a few hangers and waits for Tobin to return. Tobin walks aimlessly around the store, waving off employees who were following her suspiciously. _Probably to make sure I don’t steal anything_ Tobin laughs to herself, feeling slightly offended by the thought. _Anyways I guess I can be funny and choose this grandma outfit_ she runs her hands over the scratchy material, _but that’s boring. I need to make this shopping trip more fun._ Her attention turns to a bright red skimpy bathing suit and a black tight silky dress. _Oh, now this should be interesting._

She takes the items quickly and bolts to the dressing room and deftly crawls under the stall Christen disappeared in. She slips carefully under the door and Christen, who was still wrapped up in Tobin’s hoodie and custom-made shorts, backs away with a scream.

“Shit! Christen!” Tobin desperately tries to hush her wife and clasps her hand around Christen’s opened mouth. When it seems Christen has calmed down, there’s a knock on the door and someone asks, “Miss? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, just a little scare from my wife,” Christen answers while glaring daggers at the grinning woman. As the footsteps fade away, Tobin laughs and says, “How funny would it have been if I had crawled under the wrong dressing room?”

Christen lets out a loud laugh and leans back with an amused look, “Couldn’t you be a normal person and just knocked on the door and said ‘hey, it’s Tobin, can I come in?’ but I never should have expected less.” Tobin sheepishly holds out the clothing items for Christen to take. Christen narrows her eyes at the skimpy clothing and says, “Baby, it’s winter. Why are you giving me clothing for 90 degree weather?”

“Because you’re sexy as hell, and it’s on sale. Do we really need to be buying thousand dollar coat that looks like any other?” Christen giggles and presses a sweet kiss to her adorable wife.

“Fine…” Christen groans. She doesn’t make any moves though, looking expectantly at the door. Tobin looks alongside her and asks questioningly, “What?”

“Um, you can leave now,” Christen says and Tobin makes no move. She looks back at her wife’s green eyes innocently, “Uh, no, I’m staying here and watching." she lowers herself onto the bench, "I want a show, give me a lap dance or something.”

Christen barks out a disbelieving laugh, “No, absolutely not.” Tobin shrugs and says, “Worth a try. But I wanna watch you change.”

Christen rolls her eyes and admits defeat, “Fine, but we aren’t doing anything in here. I’m serious,” she whines when Tobin bellows a laugh, “Please, I don’t want to get kicked out. Besides,” she wiggles her eyebrows mischievously, “I found us matching outfits.”

Tobin backs away as far as she can in the cramped dressing room, “Absolutely not.” Christen pouts with the biggest green eyes Tobin has ever seen on her and it’s not long before Tobin caves, “Fine.”

Christen squeals and bounds over to her gloomy wife, planting a juicy kiss on her lips, “Awhhh!! Thank you!” She immediately hands over a pair of black mom jeans with brown swirls throughout, a cream colored Henley shirt, and a black leather belt. Tobin grudgingly accepts the clothing and mutters under her breath, “The things I do for you woman. I better get so many cuddles after this.”

They change into the matching outfits and Christen squeals from how “hot” they looked. Tobin had to admit, her wife had good taste, as she checked herself out in the mirror. “Okay, enough with that,” she makes a move to take off the clothes but Christen insists on taking a picture (“For memories, baby!”) As soon as she’s satisfied with the picture, Tobin changes quickly back into her skinny black jeans, grey hoodie, and leather jacket. She looks over the outfit choices she chose for Christen and asks teasingly, “So how about a strip tease?”

“Tobin.”

Tobin raises her hands in acceptance, sits back on the bench and leans back to ‘enjoy the show’ as she so crudely put it. Christen wiggles out of her clothes and stands in just her lace bra and panties, examining the dress with interest.

“Hmm… good pick, Tobs.” Tobin’s eyes follow Christen’s movements, watching her slip the silky black dress over her thin frame. Chris straightens the silk dress and turns so that her backside is facing Tobin, “Lace me up?”

Tobin gently tightens the thin strings that was in a crisscross pattern and when Christen turns around and strikes a pose, Tobin whistles, “Damn girl. 10/10.”

Christen is about to say more but then Tobin cuts in, “Actually 9.5/10. Those rubber slides,” she gestures to Christen’s Valentino slides, “cuts off half a point.” Christen rolls her eyes and examines herself in the mirror, “I like the way this frames my butt.” Tobin nods and playfully slaps her backside.

“You’ve been touching my butt a lot today," Christen raises her eyebrows in amusement. She doesn’t wait for an answer before slipping the garment off and Tobin is caught off guard when she also slips out of her underwear. Tobin moves to touch her wife’s nude body but Christen backs away from her, grinning. She puts on the bright red bikini that does little to cover all the X-rated parts. _No seriously_ , Tobin thinks as her mouth falls open _that two-inch by two-inch square part barely covers her nipples._

Christen’s long fingers dip beneath the waistband of the strappy bikini thong and adjusts with a knowing grin. She does a slight spin, allowing Tobin’s big brown eyes to look her over (her eyes zero in on the smooth, brown, toned ass) and she groans. Christen flips her hair over one shoulder and smiles seductively, “What do you think?”

Tobin says nothing instead opting to pick up the fallen garments and hastily place them on the hangers. Christen’s watching her questioningly, wondering why her appearance isn’t resulting in some sort of reaction, until Tobin mumbles, “Gotta get you home. _Now_.”

Her wife giggles hard and immediately tears off her bikini, already anticipating the future activities. Tobin holds out her underwear to step in and as she slides it up her long legs, she leaves a trail of wet kisses. Christen gasps out, “Yeah, we need to go home.”

They hastily return the clothes and hurry out of the store without a purchase. Tobin is pulling Christen with a renewed energy and Christen can’t help but laugh the entire way to the apartment. She is endlessly amused by her eager, adorable wife and as she’s backed up against the apartment door with Tobin kneeling between her spread legs, she can’t believe how perfect her life is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to combine the changing room pic from tobin's story and christen birthday outfit into a little something (i know you guys saw the TWO pairs of the same jeans). i'm not comfortable enough to do any smut (sorry!) i promise im getting started on a prompt i got a while ago, and then the angsty one LOL. thanks for all the feedback and support! HAPPY NEW YEARS


	20. careless whisper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based off careless whisper. a quick oneshot before i have to go back to school

Tobin knows that Christen knows. She knows she’s in no position to be defensive nor angry. It’s the way the love of her life avoids her pleading eyes and the way she physically recoils from Tobin’s touch.

It was a mistake. A really fucked-up mistake. Tobin forgets that Alex and her were a thing for a long time and she forgets that Alex’s feelings never went away. Tobin is so in love with Christen that she’s blind to any advances made by any other woman, but it’s really no excuse.

After the game against Tottenham Spurs, Tobin was adamant at getting home to her sick girlfriend. But Alex insists to go out for celebratory drinks, saying how much she’s missed her friend. So, Tobin informs Christen of her plans and pretends the short, clipped response doesn’t mean anything.

Alex smiles at her, a lot. She touches Tobin a little too much on the arms and Tobin misses her former friend so much that she doesn’t think twice about it. She reciprocates the actions, unknowingly sending all the wrong signals.

Tobin also forgets that she’s a celebrity, a star athlete. She forgets that there’s people everywhere, watching her every move. So she’s careless with her actions, she becomes rowdy and loud and finally lets loose. She trusts Alex, assumes that they left off on a good note, and doesn’t notice the longing shine in her blue eyes. She indulges in the company of her former friend but when Alex suddenly grabs her face and plants a kiss on her lips, everything came to a stop.

She rips herself out of Alex’s grasp a second too late and stares at Alex with a new sense of betrayal. She bolts for the door, ignoring the sounds of cameras clicking. She sprints towards her apartments where her lonely, sick girlfriend was waiting. She ignores the cries behind her, begging her to stay, and Tobin prays to God.

\------------

She enters her apartment with a fake grin plastered on her face. At the sound of the door closing, Christen shuffles towards her. Tobin’s heart melts at her adorable girlfriend, all bundled up in Tobin’s hoodie and blanket, sniffling and coughing lightly. She goes to hug Christen and the light in Christen’s eyes falls so quickly, Tobin isn’t sure how she noticed.

She notices the slight bob of Christen’s throat and the slight quiver of her bottom lip, all signs that she’s about to cry. But as soon as Tobin notices, it’s all gone and something else appears in her green eyes.

She brushes it off though (a big mistake) and proceeds like everything is normal. Tobin heats up leftover soup, checks Christen’s temperature with gentle eyes, and she thinks everything is okay. She baths Christen in their small tub and tucks her in with loving kisses, and Tobin thinks that everything is alright.

Until she finally takes the time to look at herself in the mirror and her heart plummets down to her stomach when she finally sees the bright pink lipstick stain on her lips.

**I feel so unsure,**

**As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor,**

**As the music dies,**

**Something in your eyes,**

**Calls to mind the silver screen,**

**And all its sad good-byes**

So now, they’re at the Manchester United dinner with their teammates and even though everything seems fine, Tobin notices all the small things that show their relationship is slowly failing.

And it’s all her fault. Instead of finding the courage to upright tell Christen that Alex had kissed her, she pretended it never existed and every day that passes, Christen seems to fall more and more out of love with her.

Tobin perks up when she hears Christen’s favorite song and instinctively holds her hand out for Christen to take. Her girlfriend hesitantly takes it and suddenly, Tobin feels unsure as she leads her to the dance floor.

As Tobin twirls Christen slowly across the floor, her guilt washes over like a tidal wave. She starts to silently cry and something in her heart breaks when Christen pulls herself out of Tobin’s grasp. She makes no move to comfort Tobin, instead, as the music dies, her green eyes turn cold and sad.

She leans in to place a chaste kiss to Tobin’s tear-stained cheek and Tobin helplessly watches Christen walk away, this time, Tobin fears, for good.

**I'm never gonna dance again**

**Guilty feet have got no rhythm**

**Though it's easy to pretend**

**I know you're not a fool**

**Should've known better than to cheat a friend**

**And waste the chance that I've been given**

**So I'm never gonna dance again**

**The way I danced with you**

As Tobin slow-dances with Lucy, her eyes find Christen amongst the crowd. She has to bite back tears as she watches Christen laugh adoringly at her new boyfriend. The overwhelming sense of jealousy, sadness, and heartbreak washes over her as Christen leans in for a soft kiss.

“Babe?” Lucy asks, effectively pulling Tobin back to reality, “Is everything alright?”

Tobin pulls herself together and smiles sadly, “Yes, yes, I’m sorry. This is your special night and I’m ruining it.”

Lucy giggles and Tobin pretends that it’s the sound she wants to hear, “It’s hardly my special night, just a regular old party.”

She smiles at Tobin more and Tobin tries to make an effort to dance better instead of shuffling her feet like she’s been doing for the past hour. But she knows that she’ll never be able to dance the way she used to dance with Christen.

**We could have been so good together**

**We could have lived this dance forever**

**But now who's gonna dance with me?**

**Please stay**

Tobin indulges her girlfriend for a little while longer, but the urge to go talk to Christen is getting to be overwhelming. After their breakup three months ago, they haven’t exchanged a single word, limiting their interactions at practice to the bare minimum. And it hurts Tobin so much, she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

She finally sees Christen’s boyfriend leave and immediately takes her chance. She leaves Lucy at the bar and heads over swiftly. A glimmer of hope flutters in her chest as Christen’s eyes seem to unconsciously light up as she makes her way over. But it was brief, a mere moment, and then as Tobin stops in front of her, breathing heavily, they stared at each other with so much hurt, love, and sadness.

The music is so loud and there was so many people that Tobin knew it would be hopeless to say anything. But maybe it’s better this way, Tobin thinks, we’d hurt each other with the things we want to say.

Tobin takes Christen’s hand and presses a note to it, kisses her hand, and swiftly moves away. Christen’s watery eyes follow her ex and she wipes her eyes as she bends her head down to read the letter.

_My love,_

_I know I don’t deserve to call you that. Not after everything._

_But you still are my love, my dear, my everything. I know that this may be too late, three months too late, but I had to find the words to say to you._

_I’m sorry. I’m sorry for lying to you. I’m sorry for not being there for you. I’m sorry that I’m such a coward, I couldn’t find it in myself to fight for you._

_But I do want to fight for you. I will do anything to have you back in my life._

_Lucy doesn’t matter to me as much as you do. And I know that he doesn’t matter to you as much as I do. We belong together and as terrible as these circumstances may seem, it will all lead to something good._

_Alex kissed me at the bar three months ago. It was so fast that I can barely remember it. I trusted her, maybe too much, to get past her feelings for me and to have some empathy for our relationship, but Alex is Alex. I wish I could take it all back._

_I love you and all I can hope is that you love me back. Please stay._

Christen shakes her head sadly. This was all she had hoped for, and more, but it was three months too late. She makes a decision, and slowly walks over to the waiting girl. She approaches Tobin with quivering lips and watery eyes and she softly hands back the letter.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“So that’s it?” Christen starts to cry at the heartbroken tone. She nods in affirmative and with one last lingering look, she walks away with a broken heart, leaving behind the love of her life.

**Now that you're gone**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik, when man united played the spurs, christen was not sick but for the sake of this one-shot, she was :) (oh, also covid doesn't exist in these oneshots LOL)  
> i tried my best to make good angst but im not so sure. let me know what you think? AND IM SORRY


	21. the reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based off of "the reason" by hoobastank

**I’m not a perfect person**

**There’s many things I wish I didn’t do**

Tobin isn’t perfect. She is carefree and careless, never caring about the consequences of her actions. She doesn’t like cats and hates pickles on her sandwiches but most of all, she doesn’t like people.

The only person that’s perfect in Tobin’s eyes is Christen. Christen, her beautiful, generous, best friend. She’s so loving and compassionate to everything around her, and Tobin can’t help but fall more and more in love with her every passing second.

Tobin loves the way Christen’s eyes light up in a different way, just for her. Different for her friends, different for her precious dogs, different in every way. She loves the way Christen cares for her and she loves the warm feeling inside her stomach every time Christen leans into her touch a little more. Her grey-green eyes shine so perfectly and her freckles are scattered so randomly that Tobin has to hold herself back from kissing every freckle on her nose.

It’s not easy watching the love of your life slowly start to spend more and more time with their significant other. It’s not easy to force a ‘Congratulations’ when she proudly shows off her ring. Tobin loves Christen so much that she lets Christen’s heart fall into her fiancé hands. She loves and trusts her so much that it blinds her, blinds her to the way that after a few months, Christen starts to shrink under her fiance’s hands. It blinds her to the way Christen’s eyes seem to dim more with each passing day and Tobin wishes she wasn’t so stupid.

She isn’t perfect. She’s carefree, careless, and blind, never caring about her own consequences. But now, as Christen bursts through her door weeping with a fresh bruise on her eye, as Tobin holds her small frame with a broken heart, Tobin wishes she wasn’t so blind. She wishes that she had done everything in her power to protect her from him. She wishes she would’ve opened her eyes sooner to see how badly her best friend was struggling, was suffering under the hands of the man who’s supposed to love her the way she deserved.

Tobin cradles the sobbing frame whispering, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” But she knows that this time, those words aren’t enough.

**But I continue learning**

**I never meant to do those things to you**

Now, Tobin’s focused. She’s focused on getting revenge. Her heart hurts for her best friend and that hurt wracks her body with rage. Without thinking, she asks abruptly with a cold voice, “Where is he?”

Christen sniffles and grips Tobin’s hand, “Back at my house.”

Tobin stands up suddenly and rips her hand away. She doesn’t mean to be harsh but the images of the man laying his hands on Christen lights her up in a way she never knew was possible. She stuffs her feet into her sneakers, ignoring the pleading cries from Christen and heads out the door swiftly.

She doesn’t know how she got to the house, her mind in airplane mode. Tobin exits the car and bursts through the front door with purpose. Trevor whirls around with a sneer, clearly expecting his fiancée but instead being met with the sight of a furious woman. She storms towards him, her eyebrows pinched in pure anger. He holds his hands up in attempt to calm Tobin but she pulls her arm back and lands an angry punch to his jaw.

He stumbles back in shock and pain and Tobin ignores the stinging on her knuckles and goes in again. She showers punches and kicks on Trevor until someone runs into the house with a scream.

She doesn’t register that it’s Christen, doesn’t register how it must look, her standing over a beaten man with no pity. Trevor cries pathetically on the ground and finally Tobin turns to meet fearful green eyes. The pure fear and sadness in her best friend’s eyes clears the storm behind her own eyes.

“Chris…” she holds her hand out weakly, “Please.”

Christen bursts into tears, not quite comprehending the sight before her. Tobin feels shameful, she never knew she had such a violent side to her. Christen approaches her slowly, almost afraid to somehow trigger the heated girl. She takes Tobin’s bruised hand and gently examines it with concern.

Wordlessly, she takes her engagement ring off and throws it at the crumpled man. She pulls Tobin close to wipe off her tears and slowly pulls her out of the house.

**And so, I have to say before I go**

**That I just want you to know**

**I found a reason for me**

**To change who I used to be**

**A reason to start over new**

**And the reason is you**

The ride back was silent. Tobin was still breathing hard from her encounter with Trevor and Christen’s mind is blank. As they move to enter Tobin’s house, Tobin tugs on Christen’s hand, wordlessly begging her to look at her.

Christen slowly looks up and meets Tobin’s pleading eyes. She wanted nothing more than to wrap her best friend into a hug, to comfort her, but after what she just saw, Christen also wants to be as far away as possible. She sniffles and withdraws her hand.

Tobin’s watery eyes lower in understanding. She presses a kiss to Christen’s temple and starts to walk away even though her soul screams at her to stay. She knows it’s not smart, not rational. If she ever wants a chance with the love of her life, she needs to be able to love herself first. Tobin needs to find her true meaning in life, needs to let go of the unworthy side of her. Right now she knows that they both need space, maybe for a long time, in order for them to heal.

“Before I go,” Tobin gets out through clenched teeth, “I want you to know that I’m gonna try. I’m going to try to be who you need me to be. And right now, that’s not who I am. I need to start over, change myself for the better.”

Christen wipes her eyes and murmurs beggingly, “You’re coming back to me right?”

Tobin gets a wistful look on her face, “Yes. Someday. I promise.” She gets into her car and says, “Promise me you’ll take care of yourself. I…” She trails off and then drives off without a look back. When she gets back to her house hours later, she pretends it doesn’t hurt her to the core to not see Christen.

**I'm sorry that I hurt you**

**It's something I must live with everyday**

Tobin lays onto her hammock in Brazil, laughing at the sight of children playing basketball. After that night, she packed her bags and booked a ticket to Brazil. It was extremely spontaneous, shocking even Tobin herself, but as she arrived to the exotic country, she immediately felt lighter.

She signed up to help volunteer at a shelter, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to help the needy whilst she was here. It ended up being one of the best decisions of her life. Her days are lit up with the smiling faces of eager children, ready to play any sport or activity.

She writes a letter to Christen once every two weeks, letting her know how everything is going. She asks how she's feeling and comforts her with words since she can't be there in person. She writes about her time in the shelters, how much she enjoys playing soccer with the younger children. As an afterthought, she ends her letters with simple sentiments such as “I hope everything is well. I love you.”

Tobin knows it’s not fair to say something like that and then cease contact for another couple weeks, but it’s the only way she can send her love without being overwhelming. She's still overwhelmed with guilt at the way she left things with Christen. She hates herself for the way she acted, the way she just left her in her time of need.

She shakes all the self-hate out and wraps up yet another letter. Tobin seals it into an envelope and writes the address on it, heart shaking as she writes _Christen Press_. She then slips on her black sides and walks out the door, eager to start the day at the center. As she arrives, one of her favorite girls hurls herself at Tobin.

Tobin barely catches her time and pretends to stagger under her weight, “Boo-thang, I think you’re getting too heavy for this.”

Anna (Boo-thang) gasps and yells, “I’m not fat!”

“Of course you aren’t,” Tobin coos. She walks over to a nearby bench and gently sits the girl down, situating herself next to her. She fiddles with Anna’s braids, casually stroking the long hair and Anna is looking at her, analyzing something. It takes a minute for the little girl to say anything but as Tobin gently tugs one of her braids out and starts re-braiding, Anna asks, “What’s wrong?”

Tobin continues braiding as she replies casually, “Nothing’s wrong, boo. Why do you ask?”

Anna shrugs and jerks her head to the side, a tic she has whenever she’s nervous, “I don’t know, you just seem sad.”

Chuckling, Tobin pokes Anna on the nose and says, “I’m not sad. I’m always happy with you, silly girl.”

Anna giggles and tries to shy away but Tobin holds her close, “Hold on, let me finish.”

“Well,” Anna starts, “Obviously, you’re happy. But I think…” she trails off trying to think of the right words, “you’re missing someone. I think you feel the same way as I do whenever I think of mommy.”

Tobin’s hands still and after a second of disbelief, she picks the small girl up and into her lap, turning her sideways so that she can meet her eyes, “You really think so?”

Anna shrugs sadly, “I know so. I know how I feel when I think of mommy in heaven, and you,” she prods Tobin’s chest, “are feeling the same way. And I want you to find whoever you’re missing.”

Tobin turns her head to hide her tears and sniffles, “Boo, you’re eight! How are you so smart?” She jokes and instantly, the moment is broken and Anna seems to light up.

“It’s from all the books you read to me!” Anna triumphs and hops off Tobin’s lap. She grabs Tobin’s hand and pulls her over to the playground but Tobin’s mind is reeling.

 _“Find whoever you’re missing.”_ It runs over Tobin’s head multiple times and before she goes to bed that night, she makes up her mind that it’s time to go home.

**And all the pain I put you through**

**I wish that I could take it all away**

**And be the one who catches all your tears**

**That's why I need you to hear**

Tobin knows it’s time to go home. She’s been away for six months and in that time, she finally feels at peace with herself. She’s happy with the person she’s become and she’s satisfied that she’s now the person Christen needs.

Christen. The girl Tobin loves. The girl whose picture she keeps in her wallet and in her heart. As Tobin walks off the plane and grabs her bags, she’s hit with the sudden thought of _What if she’s moved on? What if it’s too late for us? What if I was too late?_ She rolls up to Christen’s house mulling over those questions and she’s about to bolt before she chastises herself. _No, you’ve done enough running. You owe it to yourself and her to at least try._

She grips the bouquet of flowers she had picked up from the grocery store tightly, as if it was a lifeline. Tobin adjusts the snapback on her messy hair, hoping to appear somewhat put together. Her eyes catch the handmade necklace around her neck and she touches it fondly, remembering the parting gift Anna had made for her.

The necklace gave her all the courage she needed to walk out of her car and head to the front door. Christen’s car was in the garage, indicating she was home. She takes a deep breath and knocks gently on the door. She hears a, “I’m coming!” and barely has time to steel herself before the door whips open, revealing Christen holding her hands out as if she was expecting something.

Christen’s eyes widen in shock and she slowly lowers her arms, “You aren’t the pizza man.”

Tobin can’t hold herself back and she drops the flowers and lunges forward to wrap Christen in a hug. Christen quickly drops the money she had for the pizza man and wraps her arms around Tobin’s neck, clinging for dear life. Tobin can feel her tears making its way down her face and seep into Christen’s sweater (which Tobin now recognizes as her own).

Christen pulls back and cups Tobin’s face, scanning her all over as if to see if she’s real, “You’re here.”

Tobin nods slowly, not wanting Christen’s hands to leave her face, “I am. I’m here now.”

She pulls Tobin’s face closer to hers and touches their foreheads, breathing in Tobin’s scent. Tobin murmurs with a broken voice, “Will you ever forgive me?”

Christen laughs wetly and nods her head, “I think it was for the best. I needed to learn how to love myself without anybody. You needed it too so I was never mad at you. Besides, I honestly don't know what I ever saw in him so the breakup was easy to get over." 

Tobin sighs in relief and Christen continues, "I had my family to emotionally support me anyways. I'm just glad we were able to heal by ourselves, even if it was for six months.”

Hope blooms in Tobin's chest and something in her heart screams for the other girl. Etching closer, Tobin moves her face a little more to where there was a mere inch between the two. Christen sucks in a breath and Tobin whispers, “Can I…?”

Christen nods quickly and closes the gap between them. They kiss ever so softly, just a gentle touch of lips on lips but it’s the first time in half a year that either of them can finally breathe. After a few minutes, Tobin pulls back and gazes at Christen’s face lovingly. She strokes Christen’s baby hairs back, studying all of Christen’s features and marveling at how beautiful she looked.

Pulling the pair inside, Tobin sits down on the couch and Christen quickly follows, situating herself on her lap. She fiddles with Tobin’s necklace and murmurs, “Where did you get this?”

Tobin smiles fondly, “Anna made it for me when I was about to leave.”

“Anna?”

“Yeah, she’s one of my favorite children at the center.”

Christen raises her eyebrows in question and Tobin is quick to say, “I’ll tell you all about it, I promise.”

She has the overwhelming urge to kiss the girl in her lap, but hesitates, not sure if that’s what Christen wants. Christen sees the question in Tobin’s eyes and immediately leans in for a soul-stirring kiss. She mumbles against her lips, “I’ve missed you so much.”

Tobin seems to purr from the affection and says, “I missed you more.”

She mulls over her next words, “I went on that little trip to change. Make me the better person I know I can be, for you. It was all for you and now I was hoping….” She looks up shyly, her brown eyes big and adorable, “If we could give this a try? You and me? Together?”

Christen cups Tobin’s jaw and smiles softly, “Of course.” Tobin’s eyes light up and she asks disbelievingly, “Wait really?”

“Yes, really,” Christen rolls her eyes fondly, “I did not wait patiently for six months for you not to ask me out.”

Tobin leans in for another kiss, elated by the sudden turn of events, but the doorbell rings and Christen sighs, “That’s the pizza man. I hope you still like pineapple?”

“Uh, correction,” Tobin scoffs as Christen moves off her lap, “I never did.”

“Loser,” Christen teases as she hands the money to the delivery person and holds the pizza in her arms. Tobin seems to remember something and jolts off the couch, “I forgot the flowers!”

She opens the door hastily and grimaces as the delivery person stuffs the bouquet of flowers into the car and drive off. “Wow, he just stole from me.”

“Oh forget about the flowers T, stop letting the cold air in,” Christen pulls Tobin in and quickly shuts the door. She places the box of pizza on the table and sits down eagerly. She looks eagerly at the amused brunette and pats the seat next to her, “So tell me all about it?”

**I found a reason for me**

**To change who I used to be**

**A reason to start over new**

**And the reason is you**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall i did angst with a happy ending. thank goodness. i have another sad one planned and im gonna write it at some point. this isn't my favorite but it was a busy week back to school. thank you for all your support!


	22. love is gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based off of "love is gone" by slander  
> TW: character death and sadness

**Don’t go tonight**

**Stay here one more time**

**Remind me what it’s like, oh**

Christen clenches the wheel of her car tightly, internally screaming at herself to get a grip. Hot tears stream down her cheeks and there’s an intense pressure forming in her temples. She usually does well on days like this, days where the grief hits a little harder than usual. She usually can control her emotions and pull it together for the sake of her happiness.

Ironically, her happiness died a long time ago.

She lifts her head from the hands and her eyes are drawn to a Polaroid picture taped on the visor. The grief hits again, harder than ever, and the pressure intensifies. Wracking sobs makes its way through her body as her trembling hands caress the two figures in the picture.

They were happy. So, so happy. Some days, when she woke up to her beautiful wife and her beautiful pregnant belly, Christen felt like she could scream from the rooftops from how happy she was.

Tobin. The love of her life. They met when they were just six, Tobin offered to share her animal crackers with Christen in exchange for her other juice box. They blossomed into best friends, always stuck at the hip. They played in opposing club teams and Tobin always made it her mission to foul Christen at least once per game (hence the small scar on her left knee). Then in high school, Christen finally bit the bullet and asked Tobin out.

If life was good before that, it only went up from there. They dated for 5 years, never once wavering at the challenge of long distance. Christen graduated law school while Tobin did a few years of internship in medical school. They both decided that North Carolina was the best place to settle down, a huge hospital for Tobin to work at and Christen had a big offer to work at a large law firm there.

They were wandering a local beach, Christen a little tipsy from her alcohol consumption at their celebratory dinner. She was so carefree, so happy, just twirling around aimlessly in the sand. She never forgot the way Tobin looked at her in that moment, her big brown eyes shimmering with love and adoration as she knelt down on one knee. She never forgot the pure joy that bloomed in her chest, never forgot the way she threw herself at her beloved and the way they tumbled into the sand.

The soft way she whispered “Yes” and the gentle way Tobin slipped the gorgeous ring on her left ring finger. It’s a memory she tries not to think of too often. The hurt becomes too much in the end. She keeps it safely tucked in her heart, locked away.

**And let’s fall in love one more time**

**I need you now by my side**

Christen wipes her eyes, her body finally calming down enough for her to move out of her car. She locks it and walks up to her front door, ignoring the concerned looks from nearby walkers, no doubt they had just saw her little meltdown.

She shakes off her shoes and the overwhelming instinct to look in the kitchen for Tobin washes over her and she warns herself Christen, _stop being pathetic. She’s gone, don’t you get it?_

A feeling of self-resentment and loneliness comes into her heart, but Christen ignores the feeling and goes into her bedroom. She strips down and dresses in one of Tobin’s old hoodies, needing the extra comfort, and her old boxers. She orders Chinese takeout and as she sits on the couch aimlessly scrolling through channels, she decides to indulge a little.

After all, it has been over 6 years.

After pouring herself a big glass of wine, she reaches under the coffee table and pulls out all the photo albums she couldn’t bring herself to burn. Christen tucks her greying hair over one shoulder and smiles sadly at the first picture she encounters. It’s a Halloween picture, Christen figures they were around 7 or 8 when this was taken, and Tobin was beaming in her Batman costume. Christen was wearing a pink fairy costume and her attention was on her candy bag, likely more intrigued in the contents of the bag rather than the picture.

Christen slowly flips through numerous pages, softly laughing at the funny ones or desperately trying to hold back tears at the nostalgic ones. A particular picture breaks her heart a little more. It’s a senior prom picture, Tobin decked out in a fitting suit and Christen adorned in a simple but elegant light pink dress. Her arms were wrapped around Tobin’s waist and she was grinning brightly at the camera. Tobin, however, was seemingly entranced by her. Her eyes were glued to the smiling girl and she had something close to awe painted on her face.

She compares that picture to their wedding photos and notes that the adoration didn’t change one bit. After scanning a couple more pages, her heart shakes as she traces the ultrasound pictures. She remembers the joy they felt when the doctor told them they were having a baby girl. She remembers the teasing remarks about what they would name her and if she would grow up to love fishing and hunting as Tobin does or love reading and playing instruments like Christen. A tear falls on the picture and she quickly wipes it away.

She takes a big swig of wine, needing to numb the overwhelming grief threatening to engulf her. Christen feels a little lifeless as she trudges to the door to pay the delivery person and as she slowly eats her chow mein, a bittersweet memory of Tobin stuffing noodles in her mouth and grinning at her appears in her mind. The noodles would be half falling out of her mouth and even though Christen grimaces like it’s the grossest thing in the world, she would always tenderly wipe the sauce off her face and kiss her.

All of a sudden, she has a burning need to communicate to Tobin. Somehow, in any way. She need to find closure and some form of peace because Christen doesn’t know if she can survive any longer with this heartbreak. She clumsily grabs a piece of paper and pen and shoves her food to the side. Tapping her pen against her cheek, she contemplates on what to write until she realizes that it’s _Tobin._ Her best friend, the love of her life. She’s always been able to talk to her freely so why should that change?

She suddenly feels a lot more sober as the pen touches the paper. As soon as she started writing, she couldn’t stop. She wrote and wrote until her hands ached and all of her thoughts and feelings are out on the paper. Breathing heavily, she smooths back her baby hairs and looks intensely at the scribble-filled sheet.

_My loves,_

_Today was exceptionally hard for me. I thought what they said was true, that the pain would get better with each passing day, and for a while I believed that. I hoped that the tearing grief that constantly lingers in my heart would fade away someday and finally let me breathe but no. It still hurts so much, it hurts to think about what could’ve been. You, me, and our baby girl, all together as a family. Maybe she would’ve been an athlete or a bookworm or whatever the hell she wanted to be but I know we would’ve loved to see our girl grow up._

_I miss you two so much that sometimes, I can feel my heart stop and my legs threatening to collapse. Is this what real heartbreak is? Is it really possible to die from this overwhelming pain. Sometimes, I can’t ever think when I see something that reminds me of you both. Tobin, my love, I’m so sorry I’m not with you. I wish every day that I could, I wish that I could finally be with you both but here I am, sad, pathetic, and lonely._

_But I’m writing this to finally have closure. No, I will never forget you two and it will always hurt when I think of it, but I know what you would’ve wanted. You would’ve wanted me to move on, live a good life. So, for the sake of you my love, I will try my best._

_Love, Christen_

**It tears me up when you turn me down**

**I’m begging please, just stick around**

**I’m sorry, don’t leave me, I want you here with me**

**I know that your love is gone**

Christen slowly stands up from her seat and weakly makes her way to the backyard, quickly grabbing a lighter on the way. She takes a deep breath and looks up at the sky, remembering the old summer days when she and Tobin would lay on the ground and point out different shaped clouds. The sky was a beautiful blend of yellow, orange, red, and purple and Christen can’t help but think how well Tobin could’ve painted this.

She lifts the lighter and clicks it on, watching the flame appear. She slowly lowers it to the letter and something inside of her twists as the paper starts to burn. The ashes are taken away by the breeze and up into the sky. She holds on to the last bit until it’s all burned away.

**I can’t breathe, I’m so weak, I know this isn’t easy**

**Don’t tell me that your love is gone**

Tilting her head up, Christen watches the embers float up into the sky, carried by the wind. She knows that somewhere, this letter will get to Tobin and their unborn child and the thought suddenly makes her chest lighter. She solemnly blows a kiss to the sky and turns to walk away.

**That your love is gone**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys, I promise this will be the last of the sad/angsty oneshots for a while. i honestly don't know whats gotten into me, but i have some fluffy ones planned. but this song really hits different and im sorry for this.  
> your feedback is loved and appreciated!


	23. rings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tobin and christens 4 year annniversary. cute high school fluff

Christen wakes up with a big smile on her face. She is exceptionally giddy as she goes through her morning routines; shower, eat breakfast, brush teeth. Her parents notice the unusual happiness radiating off the 17-year old but Christen is too excited to care. 

Her already huge grin seems to double its size as she pulls up to her high school and catching the sight of her favorite brunette. She hops out of her car and runs straight to the unsuspecting girl, arms stretched and wide. 

Tobin catches her with an oomph, hands barely catching the squealing girl. She wraps her hands under Christen’s thighs to support her weight and Christen wraps her arms around her shoulders. Christen leans in for a deep kiss and Tobin tries to keep it as PG as possible since they were standing near the main entrance. 

Christen finally pulls away and Tobin slowly drops her back on her feet. She immediately takes her hand and gives it a heartfelt squeeze as she murmurs, “Happy anniversary, baby.” 

Christen swings their entwined hands as they start to make their way into school, “Happy four years! How are you feeling?” 

Tobin catches the playful smirk from her girlfriend and plays along, “I’m feeling great, how about you?” 

She shrugs nonchalantly as she walks up to her locker, “Somehow, I’m feeling the tiniest better than usual.” 

Tobin snakes her other hand into Christen’s back pocket and lightly squeezes her butt, “Oh really? Any reason?” 

Shaking her head with a grin, Christen responds while rummaging for her textbooks, “Maybe because today is the homecoming game? I’ll be out there, cheering on our team.” 

Tobin wiggles her backpack that contained her flute with a proud smile. “And I’ll be on the stands, doing my music thang.” 

Christen shakes her head fondly, “Don’t say ‘thang’ ever again.” 

“Okay boo-thang.” They jest back and forth as Tobin walks Christen to her first class. A loud voice breaks them out of their bubble and their heads whip around to see the vice principal glaring at them, “Take your hand out of her back pocket!” 

Tobin raises her hands in surrender, a blush darkening her skin. Christen rolls her eyes and looks at her girlfriend earnestly, “So, I’ll see you later?” 

Nodding, Tobin responds, “Most definitely.” With a final squeeze to Christen’s hand, Tobin heads off, intentionally avoiding the vice principal’s withering gaze. 

\--------- 

As Christen checked herself out in the mirror, smoothing any wrinkles on her cheerleading uniform and fixing her already perfect ponytail, a smile graces her face as she thinks of the events of today. After first period, she found a sweet note tucked into her locker and a bag of her favorite chocolates. During lunch when she was sitting with her friends, Tobin presented her a bouquet of roses. That immediately caught the attention of surrounding tables, teenagers loving romantic gestures. Tobin also gave her a small box containing a singular cupcake from the Cupcakery. It was a red velvet one with cream cheese frosting and rainbow sprinkles and Christen made sure her appreciation was known. 

She felt spoiled the whole day and after their last period, Tobin whispered in her ear that she had one last surprise for her after the homecoming game. Christen’s hands shook with anticipation and she gripped her pom-poms tightly with excitement. The football team and cheerleaders were getting hyped up and their energy was contagious. Christen found herself jumping alongside her friends and cheering as loudly as she can. 

As she walked onto the field, with the whole stadium filled to the maximum with screaming fans, she basked in the warmth of the summer day. She scans the band section, craning her eyes to find a certain brunette but Ali grabbed her arm and yanked her to the sidelines to start their performance. 

The game passed in a blur and before Christen knows it, their football team has beaten their rivals and fans are running onto the field with joy. Christen turns to the band section in search of Tobin, but her girlfriend was in deep talk with her engineering teacher. Her eyes narrow at the frown dancing across Tobin’s face but internally resolves that she will talk to her later. 

She suddenly stiffens as an unfamiliar arm wraps around her waist. She turns to meet the gaze of Josh, the football captain. Christen shakes off his arm with a glare. “What are you doing?” 

He shrugs with a smirk, “I’m not doing anything. But hopefully later,” he wiggles his eyebrows, “I could do you.” 

Christen sneers at him with newfound disgust, “Seriously? Are you actually kidding me.” 

Her aggressive posture is immediately noticed by her surrounding friends and Alex hurries over, “Whoa, what’s going on?” 

Christen waves her hand around with a disgusted lilt to her voice, “Josh is being a pervert, that’s what.” 

Alex glares at the smirking boy with her ice-blue eyes, “Watch it, dude.” 

He gestures at Christen with a predatory look, “I’m just saying, if you ever want a good lay, I’m here to help.” 

“I think she’s good,” Tobin’s cold voice cuts through. Christen has never been more grateful to see her girlfriend and a spark of desire shoots through her as she sees the possessive glare in her brown eyes. Tobin wraps her arm around Christen’s waist and digs her fingers into her hipbones. Alex whistles encouragingly and Tobin chides the frozen boy, “You know, if you ever did this thing, it’s called respecting other women, you might actually have a chance of getting a girlfriend. But alas, it’s sometimes hard for simple-minded people to understand that. Great game by the way.” 

With that, Josh turns on his heels and storms off to his other teammates who were laughing their butts off. The other girls take the hint to leave the couple alone and as soon as everybody’s a safe distance away, Tobin smiles softly and tugs at the hem of Christen’s outfit. 

“You look so good baby.” She husks out. Christen plays with Tobin’s collar of her uniform and says coyly, “You look better.” 

Tobin waves around her flute and says with a proud smile, “Who would’ve ever thought my nerdy self could ever land someone as hot as you?” 

Christen rolls her eyes and pinches Tobin’s hip, “Glad to know you see me as your trophy.” 

“Just another one to add to my shelf,” Tobin winks exaggeratedly. Christen scoffs and Tobin is quick to press kisses all over her face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Tobin huffs out after each kiss. 

Christen is more than happy to just stand here forever, warm in the embrace of her beloved, but something in Tobin’s pocket catches her eye. She prods Tobin’s butt and asks, “What’s that I see?” 

Tobin grins sheepishly and takes out a small velvet box. She toys with it in her hands and explains to her curious girlfriend, “I made this in engineering class a couple weeks ago. It’s nothing too pretty or whatever, it’s not like I’m a professional jewelry maker but…” She opens it slowly, her eyes trained on Christen’s. 

Christen gasps as her eyes take in the simple pair of rings. Tobin was right, it definitely didn’t look professionally made. But it also looked beautiful because it was made by her love. And anything Tobin makes, Christen will love with her whole heart. 

Tobin takes out one and continues, “It’s stainless steel so that it doesn’t rust or whatever. Can’t get the cool metals yet, but maybe one day. I’m not going to reveal the whole shebang, it’s all a secret. But it’s a promise ring,” she takes Christen’s left hand and gingerly slides it on her middle finger, sighing when it fit perfectly “I made these so that we can always promise each other we will be there for one another, through the good, the bad, and the whole jazz.” 

Christen lets out a giggle, “Really, jazz?” 

Tobin shrugs, “We watched the bee movie in science today.” 

Christen inspects the simple thin ring, no decorations on it except for a singular gemstone. Tobin slides on her other ring and shuffles uncomfortably as Christen stares at it for a long period of time. 

Tobin mumbles embarrassingly, “I’m sorry, was that too much? Geez, I knew it was a better idea to just go buy a ring.” 

Christen places her hand on Tobin’s jaw and gives her a heartfelt kiss. She murmurs, “No, no. Baby, I love it. I love it and I love you and your thoughtfulness and just everything about you. It’s perfect.” 

The brunette hums happily and as she pulls away, she beams, “So you really like it?” 

“I do,” Christen admires it, “It’s so beautifully done. Simple, but beautiful. I’m not going to ask how you made it though.” 

Tobin swipes her hand across her forehead in mock relief, “Thank goodness. Never share a masterman’s secrets.” 

Christen shakes her head and lovingly takes Tobin’s hand, “Is masterman even a word?” 

Shrugging, Tobin says, “I forget how that saying goes.” 

They start to walk off the deserted field as Christen laughs, “You are too funny.” 

Tobin beams, “That’s why you’re dating me!” 

Christen’s heart melts with the love she has for her puppy-like girlfriend. She can’t help but give Tobin a soul-stirring kiss as she murmurs again, “Happy four years. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this is so short, but im extremely busy now. please help give prompts, im not the most creative. feedback and kudos are always appreciated :)


	24. dramatic sick days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tobin is dramatic and christen loves it.

“Oh baby,” Christen coos as she strokes Tobin’s hair. Tobin just groans and nuzzles her face farther into Christen’s stomach, arms wrapped tight around her waist. Even with the large expanse of space on the couch with multiple pillows thrown all over, Tobin loves to snuggle up to her human pillow.

Christen strains to grab Tobin’s Pillowpet, a sweet, small ladybug. It’s big grin sometimes freaks Christen out but Tobin loves that thing with all her heart (“Look at it’s adorable antennas!” Tobin cheeses). Tobin is quick to wrap the pet under her arm and mumbles, “I'm so tired.”

Her wife hums sympathetically, “I know baby. Is there anything you want me to do?” Tobin shrugs and lets out a purr as Christen starts to lightly scratch her back. She burrows her face in her stomach and sighs out, “You always smell so good.”

Christen giggles and asks, “Do you want some tea?”

Tobin shakes her head pitifully and says, “No, they taste bad.”

Christen looks affronted and scoffs out, “Uh, don’t knock it till you try it.”

“Chris,” Tobin groans as another wave of nausea washes over her, “How can tannin black tea taste good? The name itself sounds nasty.”

Her hands stop scratching Tobin’s back and she whines in protest. “Up,” Christen demands, ignoring the pitiful whine, “I’m going to make you some. It’ll make you feel better.”

Tobin makes no move and Christen swiftly slides out of her grasp and giggles lightly at the light oof sound that emits from her wife. She quickly starts the pot and finds the tea in the back of the crowded pantry. She shakes her head fondly at the freakishly large amount of gusher boxes they had but Tobin insisted you could never have one too many.

(“You can have one too many when you start getting one too many cavities,” Christen warns as Tobin excitedly shoves a whole shelf full of boxes down into their cart.)

It wasn’t long before the tea was ready and as Christen approached the sick girl sprawled out across the couch, Tobin sighs. “I hate being sick so much.” Christen could tell that she was being the tiniest bit dramatic, always the one for theatrics. But she really was a little sick as Christen could see the dark bags under her eyes, her sickly pale skin and the way her baby hairs stuck to her sweaty face.

Christen set the team on the coffee table and whispered, “I’m going to check your temperature again. See if it’s gotten better somewhat.”

Tobin weakly does her iconic shaka thing with her right hand and Christen rolls her eyes. She quickly takes her temperature and says a little teasingly, “It says 101.3 Tobs. Are you sure you don’t want to go see a doctor?”

“Mph,” Tobin mumbles with her face against the pillow, “I’m tough, I’ll be able to wait it out. My young body can take care of this easy peasy.”

Christen scoffs, “32 is hardly young in my eyes. And you’re oddly talkative for someone so sick.”

She can tell the way Tobin’s shoulders tense up that she’s about to retort but as soon as the tension came, it deflated. Christen sits near Tobin’s head and rubs her head soothingly, “Want to try the tea?”

Tobin grumbles, “The way you word that question makes it sound like I have a choice but in reality, you’ll shove it down my throat.”

Christen crows proudly, “Look at you, feeling better and smarter already!” She smacks Tobin’s butt hard and laughs at the yelp Tobin emits. “Don’t hurt the sick you psycho!”

“C’mon sit up,” Christen beckons to her glaring wife. She helps lift Tobin up and onto her lap, cradling her gently with one arm wrapped around her waist. She leans forward slightly to grab the still steaming hot mug, transfers it to Tobin’s hands and dips the spoon in the liquid.

“Ahhh…” Christen opens her mouth to give Tobin the notion to do the same. She smirks at Tobin’s unimpressed look and waits expectantly. The woman in her lap slowly opens her mouth and Christen carefully puts the spoon into Tobin’s mouth.

The childish woman immediately grimaces and makes a move to almost spit it out but remembers she’s a grown 32 year old woman, not a 5 year old so she forces herself to swallow. “Bleh!” Tobin makes a weird babbling noise, “I’m serious Chris, I’m not drinking another drop.”

“What…” Christen says, dragging out the ‘a’, “C’mon babe, I know it doesn’t taste like sunshine and rainbows, but look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel a little bit better already.”

Tobin tucks her face into Christen’s neck and grumbles out, “My headache is subsiding a little.”

“Okay,” Christen says triumphantly, “I know what’s best for you love, and that is to drink all of this and then get into the shower because you stink,” (“Hey! I do not!”) “And then a good ol’ nap.”

“Are you going to shower with me?” Tobin wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. Christen gapes at her and laughs out, “Oh yeah, definitely feeling better. Now bottoms up!”

Tobin rolls her eyes and quickly downs the tea, ignoring her wife’s scolding for drinking too quickly. She smacks her lips dramatically and claps her hands, “Up and at ‘em!”

Tobin quickly puts the drink down and shuffles towards the bathroom, already tearing off her shirt. Christen follows cautiously while picking up Tobin’s forgotten clothes, not really sure where the burst of energy came from. By the time Tobin gets to the bathroom, she’s already naked and Christen is standing behind her, unimpressed with an arm full of her clothes.

“You really left these on the ground for me to pick up?” Christen scoffs and throws them at Tobin’s face. Tobin has the decency to look apologetic and presses a kiss to Christen’s forehead. She turns to start the water and when Christen stays fully dressed, she raises an eyebrow in confusion, “Uh, are you not coming?”

“What, no!” Christen laughs out, “You seem fully capable of showering yourself and I have some work to do. You’ll be fine,” she waves dismissively when Tobin pouts at her.

“No,” Tobin whines and grabs onto Christen’s hands, “Please, I think I’ll die if you don’t come with me.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Christen groans, already feeling her resolve crumbling. She makes the mistake of looking at her wife’s puppy eyes and snaps out, “Oh my God, fine!”

Tobin pumps her fist triumphantly and says, “Strip!” She points at Christen with a large grin and Christen grumbles out, “I thought you didn’t feel good. Where is all this energy coming from?” She takes off her clothes and neatly places them on the closed toilet seat and joins Tobin in the shower.

She holds up a warning finger and glares at her grinning wife, “No sex. You’re still sick and you still stink so I need to help clean you up.”

“Wha… I don’t stink,” Tobin dramatically sniffs her underarms and pulls a face. Christen can’t help the bark of laughter that bursts out of her and quickly bends down to retrieve a fallen shampoo bottle.

Christen rolls her eyes as a familiar slap to her backside echoes throughout the bathroom. “Seriously?”

Tobin just shrugs and replies with a slight rasp, “Not my fault you are the finest female in the entire world.”

“Shut up and turn around,” Christen mock-glares, not able to hide blush staining her cheeks. She starts to work shampoo through Tobin’s hair, taking great care to clean every inch of her body. Tobin’s sudden burst of energy seems to fade as she slumps back a little and tilts her head back, clearly enjoying the attention.

After she is thoroughly scrubbed, Christen quickly cleans herself off and Tobin watches her in a sleepy haze. She shuts the water off and gets both of their towels, wanting to be helpful in the smallest way. They quickly dry off and head into the bedroom to get dressed.

The way Tobin is slowly dressing in her usual boxers and sweatshirt shows Christen just how tired she is. Christen sits up against the headboard and pats her thighs, gesturing for Tobin to lay her head down on her lap. She has a brush ready in her hand and Tobin nearly purrs from the sensation of Christen brushing gently through her tangles.

Christen’s thin fingers slowly caresses her face and Tobin cracks open an eye to see her worried face. Christen whispers, “How are you feeling?”

Tobin turns slightly to burrow her face into Christen stomach and sighs, “Just tired. That tea helped a lot with the headache.”

Christen strokes the side of her head and hums, “Let’s get some sleep and see if you’ll feel better in the morning.”

Tobin doesn’t protest even though its 4:00 in the afternoon. She just opens her arms for Christen to snuggle into and presses a kiss on her forehead.

“Do I still stink?” Tobin murmurs.

“You smell like a wet dog,” Christen whispers back.

They’re out like a light in five minutes.

(The next morning, Christen wakes up with Tobin’s head between her legs and after a mind-numbing orgasm, Tobin waves off the previous day’s events. “Tiny cold my ass.”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres the sick one-shot! hope i did it justice lol


	25. valentines day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
> tobin and christen in high school (again bc i love some highschool AU and im also a sucker for cool tobin and shy christen)

Tobin shuffles up to her lunch table and sits down heavily, startling the occupants. She rubs her eyes and sighs, clearly exhausted from the day she's having and it's barely noon.

Allie eyes her cautiously, “Are you good?”

Tobin just grunts and Alex rolls her eyes, “She’s just being dramatic I’ll bet.” She shakes her salad container, mixing the Italian dressing thoroughly through the vegetables. Kelley grimaces at the healthy meal and snarks, “I didn’t know you were a rabbit Alex.”

Alex scoffs, “What, salad is delicious! Just don’t go too heavy on the dressing and you’ll be fine.” She spears some salad on her plastic fork and hovers it near Kelley’s mouth, beckoning her to taste it.

Kelley shoves it aside with scrunched eyebrows, “What kind of vegetables are these? It doesn’t look like regular lettuce, tomatoes, and cucumbers honey.”

Examining her bowl, Alex names off, “Eggplant, baby tomatoes, bell peppers, spring mix, almonds, and a perfect burger.”

Allie pretends to gag, “A perfect burger? Is that some weird vegan crap?”

Alex fires back, “I didn’t know I was going to be attacked at lunch today for my meal choices.” She stuffs the salad in her mouth, glances at the slumped brunette and shakes her violently, “Help me out here Tobs.”

Tobin straightens up and adjusts her snapback, “You guys won’t even believe what happened today.”

“You got another detention slip for not being able to shut your mouth,” the three girls said in unison. Tobin gapes at them, slightly offended that she was so predictable but sighs. She opens her pitiful cereal bar and rips off a huge chunk.

“Now I really wanna know what happened. These endless stories are always so entertaining,” Kelley crows. She picks up her chicken sandwich and stuffs half in her mouth, cheeks bulging like a squirrel. Alex gives her a disapproving look and then lays a gentle hand on Tobin’s shoulder, “Seriously, what happened though?”

Tobin waves her bar around and starts, “So I was in social studies…”

_Twirling her pencil around on her nose, Tobin doesn’t bat an eye when the teacher asks once again for her to pay attention._

_“I am paying attention! You just went over the same philosophers we’ve been studying for the past few weeks!” The pencil finally falls off her nose and she straightens up, adjusting her hat._

_The teacher glares at her and says, “Oh really? If you’ve been paying such great attention to the lessons, which philosopher inspired Thomas Jefferson the most whilst writing the Declaration of Independence?”_

_Tobin scratches her head, wracking her brain for answers and after a few seconds, she sheepishly answers, “Pluto?”_

_The entire class bursts out in laughter and the teacher looks unimpressed, “That’s a detention slip.”_

_”Are you telling me Pluto isn’t a philosopher?!” Tobin cries out indignantly. The class seems to laugh harder and Tobin basks in the attention, although one particular girl seems extremely agitated._

_The teacher attempts to quiet them down but one light voice lined with steel cuts through the chatter, “It’s Locke.”_

_“Hmm?” Tobin hums whipping her head around for the source of the voice, “Who said that?”_

_The voice scoffs and a tall brunette sitting near the tall bookshelf sits up straight, her green eyes piercing at Tobin. Tobin isn’t sure how she never saw the stunning girl before. She has a beautiful angular face with wild curly hair flowing everywhere and her bright green eyes (or grey-blue?) are framed by black circular glasses. Something about her makes Tobin’s chest feel tight._

_The girl doesn’t even bat an eye from Tobin’s stare and continues, “Thomas Jefferson was most inspired by Locke whilst writing the Declaration of Independence. Something you would know if you paid attention.”_

_Her sarcastic comment seemed to cut through Tobin’s glazed mind. She lets out a cold chuckle and waves the girl off dismissively. “Whatever sweetheart. Maybe I’ll take you seriously next time if you tame that lion hair.”_

_The girl turns red and opens her mouth as if to say something and Tobin taunts, “What, are you going to roar at me?” The class bursts out in laughter and Tobin misses the way the girl’s face pales._

_The teacher claps her hands together loudly and points at Tobin with a furious gaze, “Make that two detention slips. Maybe then you’ll learn how to be respectful.”_

_Tobin groans but doesn’t comment. The class turns back to their books but Tobin watches intently as the girl sighs heavily, turns her head away, and tugs on her curls self consciously. Guilt settles deep within her chest as the girl plays with her curls and she suddenly makes a promise to herself to apologize to the brunette as soon as possible._

“Dang Tobin,” Kelley laughs as Tobin finishes, “You really are a jerk.”

“I know,” Tobin groans, “She was right and I was wrong, but I still had to humiliate her.”

Alex shakes her head and takes another mouthful of salad, “You really need to learn how to control your mouth.”

Allie rubs Tobin’s arm sympathetically, clearly understanding her reluctance to serve the two detentions, “So do you even know who she is?”

Shaking her head, Tobin’s voice takes on a wistful tone, “No, I don’t even know how I don’t know her. She’s like, so pretty you guys.”

“You probably don’t know her because lately your primary focus was breaking up with Shirley,” Alex says in a disapproving voice.

Tobin sighs and picks at her cereal bar, “Yeah, my mom found out from Shirley’s mom on how that went down. Blah, blah, blah Shirley’s heart was broken, how could you do that to her? Like, potato po-tah-to.” Her voice picks up in pitch to mimic her mom but Kelley was the only one who laughed.

Allie shakes her head, “That was so mean Tobs. She really liked you, y’know?”

“But I don’t like her! Not like that!” Tobin sighs, exasperated. “I literally had no choice. I was unhappy in the relationship and it was unfair to keep her in such a position. So yeah, I broke up with her and yeah she's probably really upset but it was for the best.”

The bell rings, signaling the students they have 5 minutes to go to their next class. Alex packs up her lunchbox and rubs Tobin’s head affectionately, “Well that’s one way to put it.”

“Guys,” Tobin sighs, “I just want to find the right person who will always make me happy. Not even just a sexual way, just,” she looks sadly at her friends, “Someone I could really love.”

Her friends fall into silence, clearly surprised from Tobin’s heartfelt words until Kelley says, “Dude we’re in high school. Let’s not rush into the ‘love’ thing or whatever.”

“I hate you.” Tobin rolls her eyes and even though she’s acting annoyed towards Kelley, she’s grateful for the joke. Allie and Alex’s scrutinizing gaze is starting to make her uncomfortable.

“Hate me all you want, but it’s not gonna change the fact you have to stay after school for two days for detention.”

\-------------

Tobin has a pounding headache from the loud screaming in gym. She has no idea why people get so competitive over handball, has no idea why the cheerleaders find it necessary to scream every time someone passes them the ball. She grabs her private notebook and slicks off behind the building. She opens a bag of gummies she kept in her pocket and happily bites into one as she starts writing.

Tobin loves to write. It’s not a huge secret, nothing special, but something about her friends seeing her vulnerability written down on paper frightens her to no end. So, nobody knows about her writing and she wants to keep it that way. Tobin loves the feeling of putting her emotions on paper, to make her feelings feel real. She loves to be creative, especially in her poems. Whenever something inspires her, Tobin writes in her crowded notebook, just jots down everything on her mind and creates something beautiful with it.

Right now, piercing green eyes and wild curls are invading her mind, and as cliché as it sounds, Tobin understands why people write pages and pages about a person’s eyes. She scribbles random words, words that describes how she’s feeling about a particular girl until her pencil comes to a stop and she looks approvingly at her choice words.

Tobin thinks for a minute, tapping her pencil on her nose, and then begins writing. She’s only a few sentences in (poems really take a long time) when she sees someone walking up to her. Tobin quickly shuts her notebook and stuffs it in her hoodie pocket, making sure it won’t fall out, and then looks up to meet curious green eyes.

In this lighting, her eyes look green-grey with a hint of blue, Tobin thinks. She manages to keep her mouth closed because honestly, how can one look so stunning from such an awkward angle?

“What’re you doing?” The girl asks and the curiosity lining her soft voice makes something in Tobin’s chest twist.

“Umm…” Tobin croaks and clears her throat, “Nothing.”

The girl hums, clearly not believing her and Tobin can’t help but feel defensive and because she doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut, she says, “The better question is, what’re you doing up in my business? I don’t recall asking you to come over here.”

The stunning brunette scoffs disbelievingly, “Wow, okay. Whatever. I just came over to offer an olive branch, to apologize for earlier but now I’m finding there’s no reason to.”

She starts to walk away and Tobin chastises herself. She internally debates for a second and surprises herself and the girl when she just about shouts, “No!”

The girl spins around slowly, a quirk in her eyebrow. She waits for Tobin to continue and Tobin stammers, “N-no, don’t go. I’m sorry, here,” she fumbles with her bag of gummies and holds it out like a peace offering. “Have some.”

The girl cautiously sits down next to Tobin, leaving a good bit of space in between them. Tobin shakes the bag and asks, “What’s your favorite kind?”

The girl blinks, “Favorite kind of gummies?”

“Yeah,” Tobin nods, “Mine are the orange ones.” She doesn’t know why she keeps talking but she continues, “They have no right to taste so good. And they’re orange, my favorite color.”

The girl answers in a quiet voice, “Mine’s grape.”

Tobin can’t hold in her gasp and the girl just straightens her glasses in confusion, “You absolute heathen. Don’t tell me you like pineapple on pizza too?”

Visibly relaxing, the girl shyly gives Tobin a smile that immediately brightens Tobin’s heart, “What’s so wrong with pineapple on pizza?”

“Oh my God,” Tobin mutters. The disbelief on Tobin’s face sends the girl into laughter and that gives Tobin a chance to take in the girl she seemingly can’t get enough of. She was wearing navy blue and white striped sweater with a white color peeking out of the neckline. She had plain black mom jeans and ratty Air Force 1’s. The whole look was oddly fitting to the gorgeous brunette and suddenly Tobin asks, “What’s your name?”

“Christen. And you?” Christen responds while plucking the bag of gummies from Tobin’s hand.

“Tobin. Why aren’t you screaming and biting my head off?”

Christen chuckles at the wording of the question and shakes her head, “Why would I scream and bite your head off?”

Tobin shrugs and picks at her fingernails, “I was literally such a jerk to you today, which I’ll have you know, I feel extremely terrible about. Pretty sure I deserve it.”

“Yeah,” Christen’s curls sway as she tilts her head, “You do. But I’m not usually a yeller so I come bearing peace.” She pops a grape gummy into her mouth and tsks, “How could you not like these?”

“So you forgive me, just like that?” Tobin waves off Christen’s question and looks intently at the girl.

Christen nods, “We’re cool.” With that, she stands up and dusts off her pants. She hands the bag of gummies back to the stunned brunette still sitting on the concrete, “The bell’s ringing in a minute or so. I’ll see you later.”

Their fingers brush as Tobin accepts the bag and as the girl walks away, Tobin says, “Hey.” Christen’s head turns around expectantly and Tobin rushes out, “Just so you know, I really like your hair. It’s very beautiful.” The smile she receives causes an electric feeling that flows all the way down to her toes keeps Tobin in an unusually happy mood for the rest of the day. The feeling makes going to detention two days in a row almost worth it.

\-------------

Tobin checks herself out in the mirror, approving of her outfit choice. She quickly fires off a text to her friends and promises to be at the party in half an hour. She could usually get there in less than 10 but Tobin loves to have her quiet time here and there so she decides to walk. Tobin doesn’t get it often since she’s always surrounded by friends and classmates but when she gets the chance to have a breather, she takes it.

Quickly popping her favorite beanie on her brown hair, she heads out the door and casually walks down the sidewalk. It’s a beautiful evening, the winter air is crisp with a light breeze. It’s not so strong that trees are bending one way, but more a comforting sway. The sky is streaked with orange and purple with a hint of pink and the sun is starting to set gradually.

It isn’t long before her thoughts are yet again invaded by Christen, the shy but intriguing girl she only just met. She’s clearly smart and has an impeccable sense of style (Tobin really liked the collared shirt and sweater combo) and her looks. God, Tobin is really gay and Christen is really freaking pretty.

Her beauty is quiet, unnoticeable at first glance. She doesn’t flaunt it and honestly, Tobin has a feeling Christen doesn’t even know how drop dead gorgeous she is. Tobin’s past hookups were extremely good looking, all breasts and no brain. _But man_ Tobin thinks as she kicks a pebble, _Christen is just something else. Curly hair, long figure, green eyes that seem to change color every second?_ She chuckles softly at her thoughts.

Tobin is just passing a local playground when a familiar head of curls is caught in her peripheral vision. She snaps her head and a smile blooms on her face.

“Christen?” The girl’s head snaps up from her textbook and her confusion is evident on her face.

“Tobin…” Christen greets shyly as Tobin makes her way over. “What’re you doing here?”

She plops herself on the table and apologizes when Christen’s book bag nearly topples over. “I was on my way to a party and just decided to walk.” Tobin opens her mouth to add something but closes it quickly. They sit in awkward silence and Tobin busies herself by swinging her legs as fast as she can. Christen continues highlighting something in her notebook but after a few moments, she sighs heavily and surprised Tobin by firmly placing her hand on Tobin’s knee.

“Can you not? I’m trying to work here.” Tobin grins childishly and swings her legs harder, “What, you mean this? I’m not bothering anybody.”

Christen barks out a laugh and runs her hand through her curls, “Hopeless,” she murmurs. Tobin shrugs and leans into Christen’s space to read her notes. She tries to ignore the heavenly smell of light lavender and vanilla and reads, “Denitrification is the process in which nitrate is reduced and produced molecular nitrogen through a series of intermediate… what the heck?”

Tobin turns to the blushing girl with wide eyes, “Oh so you a smart cookie huh?”

“Please,” Christen waves her off, “just because I have it written down doesn’t mean I really understand it.”

Before she could stop herself, Tobin offers, “I can help you, y’know, if you want?”

Christen looks skeptical, “Don’t you have a party to get to?” She shuffles her flashcards in order to busy her hands and to calm her erratic heart because it’s totally normal that _the_ Tobin Heath is offering to help her study.

Tobin adjusts her beanie with a grin, “Yeah, but I’m in no rush. Here,” she makes grabby hands, “give them to me.” Christen reluctantly hands over the flashcards and sighs heavily when Tobin fumbles with it and a few fall to the ground.

“C’mon Tobin, you’re embarrassing me here,” Christen half-jokes as Tobin straightens the stack. Tobin rolls her eyes and starts to read off the cards. Christen answers them flawlessly, only brief hesitation here and there. Christen realizes that Tobin really is intent on helping her study and that realization brings a new feeling up her throat that she can’t quite recognize. Tobin is a great study partner, extremely encouraging and serious and Christen is grateful for that. After a few cards however, Tobin stumbles upon one that Christen doesn’t know.

A beat of silence passes and Tobin raises her eyebrows expectantly at the contemplating girl. Christen’s eyebrows were pinched and her eyes were narrowed in focus.

“Can you repeat the question?” Tobin nods and says, “Excessive transpiration is harmful for plants. What kind of adaptations will allow the plant to overcome the problem?”

Christen taps her nose and after a moment, she pretends to stretch her limbs out and hopes to catch a peek at the flashcard.

“Hey!” Tobin laughs and moves the cards out of view, “Stop cheating!”

“I’m not!” Christen cries indignantly, “Just stretching my arms.” She continues to over exaggerate her stretches and then leans over Tobin’s body to snatch the card. She squeals as Tobin jabs her side in an attempt to deter her.

“Cheater! How are you ever going to succeed in life if you keep cheating?” Tobin crows as Christen sits back defeated.

“Oh shut up and tell me the answer.”

Tobin opens her mouth to reply but is cut off when her phone starts buzzing with incoming text messages. She quickly hands the cards back and unlocks her phone to see a flurry of messages wondering where the hell she was.

Christen watches her intently and asks, “What’s wrong?”

“Oh,” Tobin sighs, “nothing. I’m just pretty late to the party and they’re all wondering where I am.”

Christen can’t help the crestfallen look that falls on her face. She turns her head slightly and busies herself by packing up her binders. Tobin notices and asks, “Wait, what are you doing?”

“Uh, leaving?” Christen answers as if it’s obvious. Tobin tilts her head in confusion, “Why?”

Christen sighs and shoves her books into her backpack, “Well, you’re about to go to the party and it’s getting late so I might as well go home.”

Tobin glances at her watch and says, “It’s only 6:45. I don’t really want to go to the party anyways, I’d much rather hang out with you.” And it’s true, if Tobin’s being completely honest with herself. She’s had more fun studying with Christen than going to some stupid high school party and hooking up with girls whose names she can’t even bother to remember.

“Well,” Christen begins slowly, “I’m already done studying for the night so if you want…” she trails off shyly.

Tobin looks at her with big brown eyes and breaks out into a smile, “We can go get something to eat?”

Christen breathes a sigh of relief, “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.” Tobin beams at her acceptance and quickly picks up her heavy backpack, groaning under the weight, “Geez sweetheart, why is your backpack so heavy?”

“What’s with you calling me sweetheart?” Christen fires back, “And it’s because I carry all my books around. Y’know, because that’s what a backpack’s for.”

Tobin looks surprised at the sarcastic comment and Christen’s about to apologize before Tobin lets out a deep laugh, “Oh okay. Princess has a little fire in her.”

Christen scoffs, “Whatever.” They continue walking towards town when a strange whistling sound seems to come out of nowhere. Christen glances at Tobin who seems to be smiling but not whistling. The sound seems to be coming from Tobin however and Christen stares in confusion.

“Are you…?” Christen asks with wide eyes, “Are you whistling?”

Tobin shrugs and continues to whistle through her teeth. She quickly grabs Christen's hand and replies, “What me? No, I think you’re mistaken.”

Christen giggles, “Wait, that’s so cool. I don’t even know how to whistle properly and you can do it through your teeth!”

Chuckling Tobin tilts her head with a grin, “Let me see you try.”

A laugh bubbles out of her throat and Christen shakes her head quickly, “I don’t feel like embarrassing myself today.”

Tobin swings their clasped hands in the space between them and promises Christen she will teach her at some point. (“I swear!”)

While Tobin is in the middle of telling a Kelley story, a gust of wind whips through the area. Christen shivers and Tobin looks at her concerned. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Christen musters, “I’m good.” Tobin looks like she doesn’t believe her but after Christen shivers for nth time, Tobin wastes no time whipping off her beanie and settling it on Christen’s head, smoothing her wild curls down.

(Christen tells herself the sudden warmth engulfing her body is because of the orange beanie. Definitely not the fact that it’s Tobin’s hat and definitely not the way Tobin blows on her hand in attempt to warm it up.)

They walk in comfortable silence and as they approach a street full of restaurants, she asks, “Where do you want to eat?”

Shrugging, Tobin adjusts the backpack, “Wherever you want sweetheart. It’s on me tonight.”

Christen narrows her eyes at the pet name and sighs. She contemplates for a moment and then points at a local burger joint. Tobin nods in approval and squeezes Christen’s hand, “Nice pick! Let’s go!”

They enter the building and Tobin asks Christen what she wants. Christen internally debates whether she should go for a salad but she can literally hear the fries calling her name. Tobin seems the contemplation on her face and puts her at ease, “Well, I’m gonna have two cheeseburgers with extra pickles, a large fry, and a big ol’ sweet tea. What do you want?”

Christen smiles shyly and mumbles, “A bacon cheeseburger and small fry?” Tobin looks at her with disbelieving eyes, “Okay, I think you want a large fry. Go find us a table.”

Christen laughs and feels internally grateful that Tobin isn’t judging her for her meal choices. Whenever she goes out to eat, she feels obligated to eat something healthy and in small portions. If she gets anything unhealthy, she can feel other people’s judgmental eyes on her and she can’t stand it.

She sits at a small booth and it’s only minutes later when Tobin approaches with a tray full of food. Christen’s eyes widen and she asks teasingly, “Are you sure we can finish all this?”

Tobin scoffs and pats her flat stomach, “Girl, you don’t even know how much food I can handle. It’s like, frighteningly absurd.”

They quickly separate the orders and conversation halts for a minute as they devour the food. Tobin is quick to finish her cheeseburgers and notices that while half of Christen’s burger is gone, her fries are already demolished. She sees Christen looking longingly at her remaining fries and surprises herself yet again when she slides it over to the brunette.

“Here, you can have the rest,” Tobin says softly. The grin Christen gives her is so big, Tobin decides she will do anything to have Christen smile like that again and again.

\--------------

Tobin walks Christen back to her house, always the courteous one and as they reach her front door, Christen turns with a shy smile.

“Thank you.” Christen says softly.

Tobin looks at her with a puzzled expression. “For what?”

“You didn’t have to miss the party to help me study. Or eat dinner with me. Or walk me home. Just…” Christen tries to find the right words, “Thanks.”

Tobin could tell that she wanted to say more and she lightly grabs Christen’s hand, “No, it really was no problem. I had a lot of fun.”

Christen nods and Tobin continues, “If you want, we could meet up at the playground every Friday? Just you and me? We could do whatever. Or if you don’t want to then that’s completely fine.”

Squeezing Tobin’s hand a little tighter, Christen can’t help but beam as she replies, “I would love to.”

Tobin heaves a huge breath, not really sure why the air feels like it’s been sucked out of her lungs. She scratches her head shyly and starts to back away, “Cool. Cool, cool, cool. I’ll see you later sweetheart.”

Christen watches the lanky brunette go and as soon as she’s out of sight, Christen leans against the front door with a wistful sigh.

(The orange beanie is still snug on her curls. Christen thinks she’s never going to give it back).

\-------------

“Tobin Powell Heath!”

Tobin barely has time to turn before Allie is launching herself at her. She shoves Allie off her with a groan.

“God, Harry, do you have any chill?”

Allie gives her an unimpressed look and puts her hands on her hips. Tobin continues walking towards her locker where Alex and Kelley were waiting for her.

It was Monday and all weekend long, Tobin ignored her friends incessant calls and text messages. She didn’t feel like answering their questions of ‘Where were you?’ or ‘Did you ditch us for a girl?” But now, as she looks at her curious friends, she realizes that might’ve been a mistake.

Kelley is the first to pounce with questions, “So, any good excuse on why you weren’t at the party last Friday?”

Alex had a disapproving look on her face as she said, “If you weren’t going to show, tell us. I really could’ve done something better than just be stuck at the party all night waiting for you.”

That brought a little guilt and Tobin looks at Alex with apologetic eyes, “Sorry, you didn’t have to stick around waiting for me. Not really a big fan of parties anyway.”

Allie’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline, “Really?”

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs, “I could really use some calmness in my life right now so how about we lay off the partying for a bit.”

Alex nods, “I totally agree. Soccer season is starting really soon and the last thing I need is to be like a zombie at practice because I was hungover from some stupid party. But,” she gives a pointed look to Tobin as she gathers her backpack, “You still haven’t answered our question of where you were.”

“Is Tobin seeing someone?” Kelley wiggles her eyebrows and Tobin blushes.

“No, no, no, it’s uh…” she wracks her brain for a viable excuse but with all her friends expectant gazes on her, she fumbles, “Actually yeah. Yeah, I am.”

_Tobin, what the heck man. You know that isn’t true and now they’ll want to meet her or something. This isn’t good._

Tobin attempts to push past her friends to head to class but Allie stops her, “Wait, seriously? You’re not playing with us?”

Tobin scoffs, “Wow, you guys really think I’m incapable of having an actual relationship?”

“No, no.” Alex rushes to clarify. They hurry to fall in step with the brunette as Alex continues, “We never said that it’s just been a couple months since Shirley and we’re just making sure that you’re ready.”

“Well,” Tobin says, “we, uh, are taking it slow I guess. Look let’s move on from this okay?” Her friends seem to notice how uncomfortable she was talking about this and graciously backed down.

“Okay, well I have to go class,” Kelley mutters as she starts down a different hallway, “I’ll see you guys at lunch.”

As soon as Allie walks away, Alex rubs a soothing circle on Tobin’s shoulder and says softly, “We’re just worried about you okay? But we also trust that you know what’s best for you. I promise that we’ll support you in everything, alright?”

Tobin merely nods and sends a grateful smile to Alex. She bids farewell and starts walking towards her social studies class. Butterflies start swarming her stomach in anticipation of seeing Christen again and subtly rubs her hair down in hopes it looked somewhat decent.

She enters the classroom casually and immediately her eyes are drawn to the brunette sitting near the bookcase filled with books. Christen quickly looks up from her book, somehow sensing Tobin’s presence and gives her a shy smile. Tobin positively beams and she’s just about to walk over when Shirley grabs her arm and yanks her to another side of the room.

“What the hell Shirley?” Tobin grumbles and twists her arm free of Shirley’s grip.

Shirley looks at her with a determined stare, “Why do you keep avoiding me like I’m the plague?”

Tobin shuffles over to her seat and sits down heavily, Shirley following her with earnest. “Look, Shirley,” Tobin sighs out, “You’re, uh, cool.” Tobin internally slaps herself for her choice of words and continues, “I’m just not in the right headspace for a relationship right now. I also know me and you just won’t work out.”

Shirley is still undeterred, “No, Tobin. I know you may not see it now but we belong together. At some point, you’ll understand.” She pats Tobin’s head like she’s some sort of dog which makes Tobin laugh really hard inside. She opens her mouth to correct the girl but Shirley is already walking out of the classroom. Tobin sighs and shakes her head, still chuckling at the morning she’s having.

Some of her classmates scoot their chair over to make conversation, which Tobin gladly indulges in. She doesn’t see Christen’s intense but contemplative eyes and as soon as Tobin can pull her attention from her classmates to the brunette, Christen is already turned around and paying her no attention.

\----------

“So sweetheart,” Tobin drawls as she plops down on the swing set, “You would not believe the day I had.”

This was their sixth (seventh?) time meeting up at the playground on a Friday night over the span of two months. These nights were the only interactions they had during the week because Christen was very good at avoiding Tobin during the school days. That often confused Tobin but she assumes that Christen has her reasons and just liked to keep to herself. Tobin always found herself surround by friends and classmates but the best part of her weeks were the Friday nights spent with the green-eyed girl who was very quickly becoming one of her best friends.

Christen hums as she bookmarks her novel, her head bopping to music playing from her airpods. Tobin raises an eyebrow and asks, "What are you listening to sweetheart?" She long ago given up telling Tobin not to call her sweetheart (though a part of her won’t admit that she really really likes the pet name).

She takes out her phone and wiggles it with a smile, not answering her question. Tobin walks over and plucks an airpod out and puts it in her own ear. _("Tobs, that's gross.")_

_("I'm trusting that you clean your ears on a daily basis.)_

Tobin shuffles back to the swing and looks at Christen with disapproval. "This is not a good song." Christen just scoffs and tosses her phone at the unsuspecting girl and watches her fumble with the device. "Fine, give me something to listen to. Hit me with your best shot."

“Hmm…” Tobin hums thoughtfully, “Are you a fan of rap?”

Christen just shrugs and watches Tobin type into her phone with a grin. Her eyebrows shoot to her hairline as the song “Cash Shit” by Megan Thee Stallion starts to blare.

“Tobin!” Christen chides, “This isn't any better.” She listens for a few more seconds and her innocent eyes grow wide, "This is a very sexual song. I don't approve."

Tobin starts to bop her head to the beat with a big grin and Christen can’t help but join her. Soon, they were doing weird shimmeys and dances to the song, both of them enjoying this more than they should. Christen is out of breath from laughing as Tobin tries to do some challenging dance moves that she had no business even trying.

“Can you imagine what people would think if they saw us right now?” Christen gasps between giggles as Tobin does an air-split.

“We look hot as hell.”

After the song ends, Christen gets Tobin to choose a few more to add to her playlist and once she was satisfied, she walks over to join her at the swing set.

Tobin nods approvingly at the approaching girl “I like your beanie,” she teases as she hands back the earpiece. Christen adjusts it with a small smile, “Thanks, I got it from a friend.”

“Really?” Tobin continues, “It’s so cool. I might just steal it.” Christen rolls her eyes and replies, “Never.” (Tobin doesn’t want to admit that something about Christen wearing her beanie takes her breath away).

“So what happened today?”

Tobin clears her throat and says, “So, I was leaving my ELA hall to go to the weight room which is across campus and you know that stupid rule about ‘get to your class in 5 minutes or you’re fired’. _(“Tobs, students can’t get fired.”)_ So I was basically sprinting to the freaking room when I realized I forgot my gym bag in the classroom. So I had to run back and wouldn’t you know it, the teacher had already left for a yearbook meeting and the door was locked and I had to chase her to the two-story building and practically beg for the keys.”

Christen was giggling so hard she almost fell over sideways off the swing set and Tobin chokes out between her laughter, “That’s not even the best part. I tripped and ate shit at the bottom of the stairs! I have like a bajillion bruises on my arms and legs and I have one on my temple. And everybody was laughing at me so I hauled ass outta there even though everything hurt.”

Christen’s giggles stop suddenly and she hops down from the swing, a concerned crease forming between her eyebrows. She steps into Tobin’s space and takes her face in her hands, carefully looking her over. Tobin holds her breath and stays as still as possible, not wanting Christen’s soft, warm hands to leave her face. Christen whispers, “Are you okay? It doesn’t hurt much right?” Her fingers tenderly run over the small purple-ish green bruise on Tobin’s temple and Tobin shakes her head slowly.

“Well,” Christen finally steps away and clears her throat, ignoring the blush painted on both of their cheeks, “I can’t say you didn’t deserve it.”

Tobin scoffs and gets off the swing, gesturing for Christen to sit. “What do you mean ‘I deserved it’? I almost died.” She begins to push Christen into the air, careful to not be too rough. Christen hums and answers, “You were running the hallways when you’re not supposed to and you forgot your gym bag.”

“Oh. Well, pardon me, Mr. Perfect! I guess I forgot that you never ever make a mistake.” Tobin jests as Christen laughs, her curly hair whipping Tobin in the face repeatedly.

“Jim Carrey is hilarious!” Christen giggles out as she starts to go higher, “Be careful Tobs and stop being so dramatic.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” Tobin can practically hear the eye roll as she continues, “Anyways, I wanted to ask you, why don’t you ever want to talk to me in school? Every time I try to say something to you, you run away faster than Usain himself. I guess that's kinda _insane._ "

Christen lets out a bark of laughter at Tobin's pun and then sighs, “Trust me, you really don't want to be seen with me at school. I'm like, a mess."

Tobin slows the swinging and as soon as she’s slowed down enough to meet Tobin’s earnest brown eyes, she says, “Is that what you really think? I would love you to hang out with me and my friends. I want you to meet them because I know they’ll love you. God knows we need a little bit of calm in the chaos anyways.”

Hesitating, Christen looks at her with puppy eyes, “Is it wrong for me to say I’m much more comfortable with it just being me and you, here? I don’t think I’m ready to be that social,” she picks at the frayed rips in her jeans shyly.

Tobin senses that there’s more to it and gently presses on, “Okay, I understand. Can I ask why though?”

Christen starts to pick at the rips with more aggression and Tobin places her hand over hers, calming her down instantly. She internally debates for a second before deciding she can trust Tobin. Christen doesn’t meet Tobin’s eyes as she murmurs, “I get anxious sometimes. Some days are good, some days are bad. I’m taking medications for it now so it’s gotten a bit better but I’ve just,” she takes a shaky breath and continues, “never done well with big crowds or people in general. It’s lame I know, I’m just more comfortable when…”

She trails off and shakes her head, unable to finish. She can already feel her anxiety rising, wondering if that was too much or if she will now lose the one of the only friends she’s ever made. Tobin squeezes her hand quickly and reassures her, “No, it’s not lame. I’m glad you told me.”

Christen smiles gratefully and Tobin attempts to lighten up the mood, “Honestly, I kind of find it hard to believe that you had all this going on and still be extremely funny and witty.”

Her smile stretches across her face and her nose crinkles a little and the sheer adorableness has Tobin aching to kiss her. Christen laughs and says, “Believe me, I had to force myself to approach you that day by the gym to apologize. I have to say, I was really proud of myself that day.” She patted herself on the back like the dork she is. “And every time I said something remotely sarcastic my heart would beat so fast like ‘Christen that wasn’t even funny, it was just rude. Apologize before she beats the hell out of you.’”

Tobin laughs and pulls Christen off the swing set. They walk hand in hand to the monkey bars where Christen refuses to go on. “For the record,” Tobin says as she swings herself on the bar, “I find you incredibly cute sweetheart.”

Tobin hangs herself upside down and is met with Christen’s smiling face, only inches away from hers. Christen whispers, “Oh, really?”

Tobin can’t answer immediately, she’s too distracted how beautiful Christen looks even while she’s upside down. Her eyes trace the freckles scattered on her nose like they’re constellations and she watches as a light pink blush begin to appear on her sharp cheekbones.

“What?” Christen says self-consciously, “Do I have something on my face?”

“You’re just,” Tobin says dreamily before she can stop herself, “so, so pretty.”

Something ignites in Christen’s gut and before she even knows what she’s doing, Christen is pressing a soft kiss to Tobin’s lips. Her nose bumping into Tobin’s chin a tad awkwardly and she sighs softly at the feeling of Tobin’s chapped lips finally on hers. She gently places her hands on Tobin’s face and after a few moments, Tobin pulls away with a shocked expression on her face.

Immediately, Christen freaks out and starts backing away, “Oh my god, no, no, no.” She turns and runs to grab her book that she left on the picnic table. Tobin swings herself upward in attempt to free herself from the monkey bars but her sweatpants get stuck on a hook sticking up from the bar (seriously who built this playground and why would they have random hooks on the monkey bars?)

“Crap!” Tobin wrestles with the hook until her sweatpants are finally freed. "Chris!" She hops down from the monkey bars and watches helplessly as the brunette’s dark curls disappear around the corner, away from plain sight.

Defeated, she slowly walks away from the playground with the intention to go home when she sees a familiar orange beanie lying on the ground. Her heart falls a little more as she picks it up and Tobin clutches it to her chest, Christen’s scent still lingering on it.

A feeling of determination washes over her and she decides that on Monday, she will confront Christen during school and try to sort things out.

_(And hope for the best)._

\----------

It’s the first Monday of February and Tobin walks into first period with confidence. Her hand is wrapped loosely around the orange beanie and she plans to give it back to Christen in hopes of getting back to her good side.

However, she freezes at the doorway when she sees a guy sitting next to Christen and talking with her. He was leaning a little into the girl and Christen didn’t seem to mind, in fact she was giving him a wide smile. Unconsciously, her hand tightens around the beanie and her jaw clenches as the guy reaches up to touch Christen’s curls.

Tobin scoffs because she can’t believe after what had happened between them on Friday, Christen was so quick to move on. It felt like that kiss didn't mean anything to her (even though it rocked Tobin's world). Her eyes rake over the guy who was wearing an odd pair of cargo pants and a colorful jacket. Annoyance crept in her veins as she admits reluctantly that he is extremely good-looking. (What, just because she’s gay doesn’t mean she doesn’t have eyes).

A frown was on her face for the entirety of the day and her friends gave her worried glances during lunch. Alex opens her mouth, no doubt to ask a bunch of questions, but one pleading look from Tobin gets her to let the issue slide.

The rest of the week was not a good week for her. Every time she looked at Christen, the boy was hanging around her and watching their interactions made her feel left out, petty, and jealous. The frown etched on her face seemed to deepen every day but her friends just decided it was an off week and to let her figure it out on her own (which probably wasn’t a good idea).

On Friday morning, Tobin walked into the school holding Shirley’s hand and made a beeline for her friends. The girls’ eyebrows shot to their hairline and their mouths dropped open in disbelief. Shirley had a smug smile on her face that instantly irritated Tobin but she schools her expression and looks at her surprised friends.

Tobin smiles at her friends and cocks her head, “Are you guys ready to go?” Kelley starts to say something but Alex quickly elbows her in the ribs and gives her a warning look.

The group walks in an awkward silence which was occasionally broken by Shirley’s passing comments. Tobin breaks away to head to first period with Shirley and the look she receives from all three of her friends says ‘Oh you have so much explaining to do’.

A second before she walks into social studies with her hand wrapped loosely around Shirley’s, she falters and thinks _Am I really going to stoop so low for Christen’s attention? Playing with two girl’s feelings is not cool, but dammit if I’m already here, let’s go all the way._

Last night, her pettiness got the worst of her and before she even could process what she was doing, she was texting Shirley and asking her if they wanted to get back together. Shirley was ecstatic and rambled on for what seemed like hours about how they were meant to be and how finally Tobin had come to her senses.

They walk into class and Shirley’s head is tilted upwards with confidence and Tobin looking anywhere and everywhere to avoid a certain pair of green eyes. But Shirley is tugging her towards her seat and telling the quiet boy who sits next to Tobin to move so she could sit there and Tobin is thinking this is all a really big mistake.

“Shirley,” Tobin sighs as she tries to take her hand out of Shirley’s grasp but Shirley hangs on tightly, “He doesn’t need to move.”

Shirley pouts but acquiesces and as soon as she moves away, Tobin feels like she can breathe just a little bit more. She unconsciously looks over by the bookcase and catches Christen’s piercing eyes. They are glassy and swimming with so many emotions that Tobin can’t pinpoint which is which.

Christen breaks their intense eye contact swiftly and turns back to the front of the classroom. Tobin takes a step forward, her heart screaming at her to make a move, but she freezes when yet again, the strange boy goes up to Christen and lands a smacking kiss on her head.

She snaps her head away painfully and forces a smile at Shirley, who was beaming at her, no doubt extremely happy that they’re back together. And Tobin knows it’s terrible to play with Shirley’s feelings like this but she wants to show Christen that two can play this game.

Well, what a freaking morning.

\----------

Later that evening, Tobin is debating internally whether or not she should show up to the playground. She doesn’t even know if Christen will show up but it’s their Friday. Friday evenings are always spent with each other and if Christen breaks the routine, the tradition, then maybe it’s for the best.

With that, she walks out of her house and slowly meanders down the familiar sidewalk. It isn’t long before she reaches the playground and something like hope ignites like a wildfire inside of her chest as she catches sight of the curly hair brunette curled up on the plastic steps.

Her pace quickens like she can’t wait another second without being by Christen’s side, almost like she’s afraid that if she doesn’t get there in time, Christen’ll be gone.

“Chris,” she breathes out. Christen lifts her head up and meets her eyes with a blank expression.

“Hey you,” Christen replies softly as Tobin situates herself next to the girl, careful to leave space between them. “How are you?”

“Good, good. You?” There’s a sense of awkwardness in the conversation which was extremely foreign to the two, always able to make easy talk. Christen just shrugs and fiddles with her gloves.

It was a cool evening with the temperature in the low 40’s but Tobin’s always been able to cope with colder weather so she was dressed in a light hoodie and sweatpants. Looking at Christen bundled up in what looked like to be two hoodies, she can’t help but let out a soft chuckle.

“What?” Christen laughs lightly.

“You just uh,” Tobin gestures at her outfit, “Look very warm.” Christen wrinkles her nose adorably and shrugs.

They sit in silence for a few moments until Christen breaks it, “So, you’re back with Shirley.”

Tobin’s secretly been dreading this conversation and she forces out, “Yeah. I guess I am.” Christen has a calculating look on her face and looks away. She says in a cold voice, “Good for you.”

“Look,” Tobin sighs, “I would say a bunch of things right now but really, you have no right to give me this cold shoulder act just because I’m with my ex. You’re literally,” she scoffs with some bite, “doing the same thing.”

Christen looks at her incredulously and snaps, “Don’t act like a child Tobin. Not even a couple days after I kissed you, you were back with the girl who I very clearly remember you calling an annoying bitch. I guess that’s how much I mean to you, huh?” Her tone sounds accusing, angry, jealous, and heartbroken and Tobin immediately feels defensive.

Tobin stands up and Christen quickly follows her. They’re practically nose to nose and their fists are balled up and any onlooker would think they’re about to get into a fight. She snarls, “Oh really? I’m the child? I was going to sort things out with you Monday but then I see you getting it on with some… some guy! Like what the hell? I guess that’s how much I mean to you.”

Just like that, the angry cloud surrounding Christen’s eyes fades and she leans back shocked. “Wait… Jose?”

Tobin starts to stalk away, her figure brimming with anger and jealously, “Whatever the hell his name is.”

“Tobin!” Christen says as she grabs her forearm to yank her back. She takes her free hand and cups Tobin’s trembling face and wipes away tears Tobin didn’t even know was trailing down her face. She leans in close and forces Tobin to make eye contact with her.

“Toby,” she says tenderly and oh that name falling from her lips makes Tobin feel electric, “Jose is gay.”

Tobin barks out a laugh disbelievingly, “What?”

There’s an amused smile dancing on Christen’s lips as she replies, “Jose, the guy who I’ve been ‘getting on with’, is the gayest guy you will probably ever meet. I met him when I was at retreat in Mexico and he's an exchange student here so I've been helping him with merging into this school and getting comfortable in these new surroundings. He's really affectionate as you probably already know and I'm pretty sure he's already got his eyes set on some of the wrestlers.”

Tobin’s blinking her eyes rapidly, trying to process the information and trying to stifle the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment. “I’m probably gayer,” she murmurs and Christen giggles hard.

After a few moments when their laughter is subsided, Tobin leans a little further into Christen’s hand and Christen whispers softly, “Is this why you’ve been acting so different all week?”

Tobin tries to hide her embarrassment but Christen’s eyes look like they see right through her. She murmurs pitifully, “Yes. I know, it’s pathetic.”

Christen opens to her mouth to tease the blushing girl until a voice breaks them out of their bubble. “What the actual hell?”

Their heads snap towards the new source of sound and they’re met with the sight of Shirley. Christen slowly lowers her hands and Tobin wills herself not to whine with disappointment from her loss. How do I always find myself in the worst situations? She sighs and asks, “What are you doing here Shirley?”

Shirley snaps, “You didn’t show up to my house when you were supposed to so I checked your location.” (“What the… you can do that?!”) “And why am I not surprised to see you here with another bitch.”

“Whoa,” Tobin breathes out and quickly looks at Christen, who looks unfazed. “First off, let’s not call people names. And secondly, why are you checking my location? Where I am is none of your business.”

Shirley’s eyes look like they’re about to spill over with tears and Tobin suddenly feels guilty. Shirley starts to storm away and Tobin quickly runs after her. She grasps her shoulder and holds her still, not even a few meters away from Christen who was still watching this interaction very closely.

“Shirley, sweetheart, hey,” The pet name slips out before she can stop it, her brain too jumbled up by this sudden turn of events to really process anything that comes out of her mouth. Tobin tries to calm the girl down, “I…”

“I thought I was sweetheart?” Tobin snaps her head towards an angry Christen and gives her a pleading look. Shirley looks at Christen with distaste as Tobin fumbles, “You… you are…”

“So this is the girl who replaced me?” Shirley asks in a strained voice. Tobin freezes and debates for a second before replying, “Nobody’s replaced you, Shirley. Positions may have changed these past few months but you still are my friend.” _Oh, Tobin that was such a lie. Keep going with it._ “I just don’t feel the same for you as I use to.”

Shirley sighs heavily and for a second, Tobin thinks that’s she’s in for it, that Shirley’s going to go off on a rant and cause a scene, but she surprises her when she says, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Tobin tries to keep the shock out of her voice, “That’s all you’re going to say?”

“Yes. Okay.” Shirley says with a stronger voice, “I’m glad you’re finally being honest with me.”

Tobin sighs in relief as she thinks _Okay, she may not be that bad. This could’ve gone way way worse._ Shirley looks at her with big eyes and asks, “Can I have a hug? One last time?”

Tobin complies gratefully and wraps her up in a small hug. “I really am sorry for being a jerk and playing with your feelings, Shirley.” Shirley nods and lets go after a minute and without another word, she turns and walks out of the playground.

Sighing heavily, Tobin tilts her head up and thanks God for letting that run as smoothly as it possibly could. The sound of someone clearing their throat breaks Tobin out of her reverie and she turns sheepishly to the waiting girl.

“Chris,” Tobin slowly walks over to Christen who was glaring at her and took her gloved hands, “I’m sorry for the scene. As unbelievable as it is, I’m not one for dramatics.”

Christen continues to give her the stink eye, clearly not believing her and Tobin starts to pout. She starts pressing soft kisses all over Christen’s face, grinning internally when Christen leans into the gesture. “Also, I’m really sorry for being petty and immature. I really should’ve just heard you out before jumping to conclusions.”

Christen finally murmurs, “I knew what you two had wasn’t real anyways. You never looked at her the way you look at me.”

Tobin presses a firm kiss to Christen’s nose and grins wildly, “Wow, aren’t you the observant and philosophical one?”

“Oh shut up,” Christen wraps her arms around Tobin’s neck and a smile is finally present on her face. Tobin places her hands on Christen’s hips with a smitten smile and asks with a lilt to her tone, “So all is forgiven?”

Christen rolls her eyes as Tobin starts to rock them side to side, “Well, I still don’t forgive you for calling her sweetheart. That’s my name and my name only.”

Tobin grins down at the scowling girl and coos, “Of course, sweetheart.”

Sighing Christen nuzzles her face into Tobin’s neck and mutters, “Tobs, how is it when it comes to you I always have to do a lot of forgiving?”

“I honestly don't know but you’ll probably have to do it many more times in the future. It’s inevitable.” Christen presses a sweet kiss to Tobin’s jawline and then her phone chimes with a text message from her mother asking her to come home now.

“I have to go home now,” Christen murmurs. Tobin reluctantly releases her and immediately takes her hand. They walk to Christen’s house in comfortable silence and when they reach her front door, Tobin tugs on her hand with hopeful brown eyes.

“You’ll be at the playground this Friday too right?”

Christen nods in affirmative, “Yes. I think this coming Friday is Valentine’s Day as well.”

Tobin nods thoughtfully and absentmindedly presses a kiss to Christen’s hand. “M’kay. So I’ll see you then?”

Christen hums with a smile and heads into her house without another word. Tobin’s eyes follow her and as soon as she hears the bolt lock, she starts skipping down the street with glee like the dork she is.

\------------

“Are you sure this looks good enough?” Tobin frets. Her hair was wavy with a little messy look to it but it really suited her face. She had a plain grey hoodie with a jean jacket on top, black skinny jeans, and black combat boots. She had wanted to put on a snapback but Alex snatched it out of her hands saying, “Let her see your head for once.”

“Yes!” Allie squeals. She finishes the last touches on the pink gift bag and wiggles her eyebrows, “You look so smoking hot! I would eat you up right here and now if I wasn’t straight.”

Kelley gags, “You are so SO weird Allie.” She throws a chapstick at Tobin with a warning look, “You really need this.”

Tobin applies it gratefully and Alex leans across the counter with an inquisitive look, “Who is the lucky girl?”

A couple days ago, Tobin came clean to her friends and told them the whole story. How she met a girl in a weird situation. How she ran into her at a playground and it became their little thing to meet there every Friday. How that girl is the most beautiful person she has ever seen and that she makes Tobin feel all sorts of way. Her friends were ecstatic, always the romantics and they begged for the girl’s name.

Tobin wasn’t sure if Christen wanted her to identify her so she refused ‘until she was ready’. But the thing is, Tobin didn’t even know if she and Christen were even a thing. Sure, last Friday really cleared up some things but she wasn’t sure where they stood. Hence the large gift bag and bouquet of roses. She also had the unfinished poem that she had started to write about Christen all those weeks ago behind the school gym. Well, it was finished now, but she had agonized over it for hours because she wanted it to be perfect. Perfect but simple and hopefully overwhelmingly romantic?

Tobin checks her watch and hops off her bed, “Okay, I’ve gotta go now. Have fun with your dates.”

Alex and Allie beam, “Thanks!” while Kelley grumbles, “Oh yeah, I’ll fun watching Gossip Girl on the couch with my date, potato chips and ice cream.”

“Ohhh,” Tobin teases, “Two dates? Kelley you dirty dawg!” The girls burst out in laughter and Tobin bids farewell whilst slipping out the front door.

She shifts the large bag on her right arm and holds the bouquet of admittedly really beautiful roses. Her nerves rise up again as she approaches the playground and her breath catches in her throat as she gazes at Christen was swinging softly, oblivious to the brunette just a few meters away.

“Wow,” Tobin breathes out and catches Christen’s attention, “You look… really… wow.”

Christen giggles and slips off the swing, her eyes crinkling with amusement. “Wow? I put this much effort in my outfit and all I get it ‘wow’?”

Tobin sets the gifts down on the ground and gently grabs the approaching girl by the waist. “Sorry what I meant was, you look absolutely stunning. So pretty and so gorgeous and so freaking perfect.”

She scans the amused girl in arms again, relishing in the perfect view before her. Christen had light makeup on and her hair was braided loosely to the side, her baby hairs framing her face. She was wearing a loosely knit olive green sweater that slipped off one shoulder and it was so loosely knit that Tobin could make out her black bra underneath. It was an exceptionally warm evening for February and Tobin thanks her lucky stars that it was warm enough for Christen to wear that. She was also wearing dark wash ripped jeans that showed off her smooth caramel skin and Pink Quartz Air Jordan 1s.

“I like your shoes.” Tobin murmurs and Christen raises her eyebrows expectantly, “I also like your sweater. And your jeans,” _Oh yes I do, look at that butt! Oh man I really want to touch it._ “And your face.”

Christen barks out a laugh and says, “You really are a woman of words. Thank you, you look really good as well.” Her tongue darts out to wet her bottom lip as she straightens the collar of Tobin’s jean jacket.

Tobin stares at the girl, mesmerized and twirls her softly so she could appreciate all of Christen’s features. Then, she remembers why she was here. “Oh, here!” She leans down to grab the gifts and holds it out to the smiling brunette, “For you!”

Christen positively beams as she smells the roses. She snuggles her face into the roses and looks up at Tobin with clear green eyes.

“Thank you,” she murmurs. She leans on her tip toes and press a soft kiss to Tobin’s cheek. Then she starts to walk to the picnic table under the large oak tree, hips swaying and Tobin following like an obedient puppy (while enjoying the view).

Her green eyes gleamed with excitement as she starts to unpack the bag. She looks at Tobin regretfully and says, “I didn’t get you anything.”

Tobin shakes her head with a smile, “No, no it’s okay. I don’t need anything.” She sits down and pulls Christen down in her lap, relishing in her soft weight. She perches her chin on Christen’s shoulder as she pulls out a box of chocolate covered strawberries.

“Yum!” Christen hums excitedly, “I haven’t had these in forever.” She sets it aside gently and Tobin has to resist opening the box herself and eating one (that’s how delicious they looked).

Christen then pulls out a hard cover copy of “To Kill A Mockingbird” and she sighs happily, “Gosh Tobin, thank you.”

Tobin kisses her neck sweetly and says, “I know how much you love to read.”

She pulls out of a few more sweets and a pair of buffalo plaid fuzzy socks, kissing Tobin’s hand each time in thanks. The thoughtfulness of each gift made Christen’s breathtaking smile bigger.

“Oh!” Christen squeals excitedly as she holds a neatly folded hoodie, “Where did you get this?” It was a plain sagey green that complimented Christen’s skin tone and eyes. Tobin smiles and replies, “It’s actually mine and I can’t remember where I got this from. It’s one of my favorite hoodies but the color reminded me of you.”

Christen brings the hoodie up to smell it and she murmurs, “Smells just like you.” She immediately slips it on over her sweater though Tobin thoroughly missed the expanse of skin that was showing. She finally digs out an envelope and suddenly Tobin’s nerves start flooding through again.

“Here let’s just ignore that,” she says frantically whilst trying to grab the envelope from Christen. She was quick however, hopping off Tobin’s lap and staying a good arm’s distance away from the pouting girl.

“I want to read it Tobs!”

“Trust me sweetheart, you really don’t.”

Christen paid no attention to Tobin’s protest and carefully opened the red envelope. Inside was a piece of paper, no fancy card, and there written was a messy scribble of words.

“Oh God,” Tobin groans and buries her face into her hands, “This is so embarrassing.”

“Stop that,” Christen chastises, “I’m sure whatever you’ve written it absolutely perfect.”

Tobin lays her head on the table and covers her ears and Christen rolls her eyes at her dramatics. She focuses her eyes on the small sheet of paper with a soft smile.

_We danced to a song_

_A song we both thought beautiful (Is she talking about Cash Shit? Hilarious.)_

_Beautiful, like your eyes_

_Eyes that were green_

_I gazed at them_

_As I spun you around casually_

_And we thought the neighbors might think_

_That we were crazy_

_Crazy we may be_

_Being with you, though_

_It’s just as beautiful as that song_

Tobin grunts as soft hands move her hips around. She looks up facing a beaming Christen who settles herself on Tobin’s lap, wrapping her long legs around the blushing girl. Tobin's arms instinctively goes around her waist and she quickly tucks her face in her neck out of sheer embarrassment.

“Tobin,” Christen coos as she wraps a hand around the nape of her neck, “That was the sweetest thing anybody’s ever done for me.”

She grunts again, not wanting to say anything and Christen laughs, “Baby.” Tobin’s head shoots up and she’s met with loving eyes, “Thank you so much.”

Christen leans in and presses a gentle kiss to Tobin’s slightly agape mouth. This is all a lot, Christen actually likes the gifts she was given and she looks so damn hot in her hoodie and Tobin is trying to process everything.

“Wait,” Tobin mumbles against Christen’s lips, “Does this mean you’ll be my girlfriend?”

Christen continues to kiss her softly and she murmurs, “Wouldn’t want to be anybody else’s.”

Tobin finally kisses her back with relief. Her hands started to wander and they ended up at Christen’s backside, squeezing with relish.

Christen moans slightly and pulls away, “Let’s not do this in public.”

Tobin cups her butt and smirks hopefully up at the girl, “So we’ll continue this later sweetheart?”

“Don’t get your hopes up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of things went through my mind writing this lol. true story: my playground with monkey bars had a hook on it and it ripped my pants (love elementary school days) ALSO im a sucker for the spiderman kisses and let's pretend that valentines day is on a friday. okay thanks for reading, i'm sorry if this is long  
> -ALSO- can we all just give thanks for having hidge and casson as writers for this fandom?? i love all the other writers but wowza, they blow me away every time


	26. ben the man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tobin is rushing to get her son to his soccer game on time. christen is just amused and in love

“Bud, we gotta go!” Tobin fumbles with the snack bag, “Please tell me you’ve already put your shinguards on.”

Tobin taps her chin and quickly counts the fruit snack bags, praying that there would be enough for the team (including her and Christen’s midgame snacks). The sharp sound of cleats against the wooden floor makes its way to her ears and she turns to find her son fully dressed in his uniform with a proud smile.

A fond smile breaks through Tobin’s face and she scoops her 6 year old son up into her arms, the time crunch they’re in momentarily slipping her mind. “You,” she boops Benjamin on the nose, “Are just the cutest little thing. Have I told you that you have your mother’s eyes?”

“I don’t know,” Benjamin laughs, “I don’t have a good… good…” He wracks his brain for the word and Tobin sets him down on the couch to retie his laces, “I think the word you’re looking for is memory, bud.”

Benjamin nods enthusiastically and beams happily as Tobin ruffles his curly hair. “I’m so proud that you dressed yourself. You’re becoming a big boy, aren’t you?”

“Yeah!” He hops down from the couch and takes Tobin’s hand, “But I’m your big boy! And Mommy’s!”

“That you are,” Tobin checks her watch and panic starts to set in, “But we really have to leave now. We don’t want Mommy mad that you’re late to your game, right?”

Benjamin gasps and takes off to the car, ignoring Tobin’s calls for him to slow down. She chuckles and grabs two foldable chairs, throwing them and the snack bag in the trunk. _Did Chris ever say we needed drinks too?_ The unrelenting fact that they had exactly 13 minutes to get to the field presses at her so she quickly runs back to the fridge and grabs an assortment of Gatorade.

Tobin tosses them into the trunk and quickly climbs into the driver’s seat. She turns and gives Benjamin a high five when she sees the buckles on his car seat clasped together firmly.

“Attaboy Ben the man!” She tugs on the buckles to make sure they’re secure as Benjamin lets out a loud laugh, “Mama, man doesn’t rhyme with Ben!”

“Oh bud,” Tobin tuts as she backs out of the driveway and makes her way to the main road, “Reality can make it whatever you want it to be.”

Benjamin tilts his head in confusion and Tobin gasps, “Ben! Are you serious? You can’t remember that line from Infinity War? Are you really my son?”

Benjamin wiggles around in his car seat in indignation, “Mama, I have a bad memory remember?” He said memory like me-moore-y but Tobin lets it slide.

“Right, silly me,” She slaps her forehead with a smile. Tobin whispers “I guess that just gives me and you an excuse to stay up late watching the Avengers. Your mommy can’t stop us now.”

Benjamin nods like she just planned a conspiracy to overthrow the government.

\----------

“Mommy!”

Christen heaves a sigh of relief as she bends down to catch the sprinting boy, “Oh Benjamin! My sweet boy, I missed you!”

She smacks kisses to the side of his face until he squirms away, “Mommy, we made it! Mama said that we made it two minutes before warmup time! Aren’t you proud?”

“Of course I'm proud honey. Speaking of your mom,” She cranes her neck to the parking lot and laughs lightly at the sight of Tobin struggling with the snacks, “She looks like she needs help doesn’t she?”

Benjamin nods and takes Christen’s hand, leading her back to the car. Christen gazes down at the happy boy, her heart brimming with so much adoration. _He really does look like me_ Christen thinks _Well he better, especially if I carried him for nine months. He has my eyes and hair and smile._

They reach the struggling brunette and Christen teases, “Need any help? You look like you’re struggling big time.”

Tobin huffs and rolls her eyes at her smirking wife, “Ben, tell me, why is Mommy being so mean to me today?”

Benjamin hugs her leg and beams up at her, “Don’t worry mama. Mommy told me that you deserve it sometimes.”

“What?” Tobin fake-gasps and lifts her leg in the air, bringing the squealing boy with her, “I deserve nothing but love and happiness!”

Benjamin laughs and hangs on for dear life. Christen quickly grabs the boy and sets him down on firm ground. She narrows her eyes at her sheepish wife and reprimands her, “Baby, do you remember what I said about horseplaying with him?”

“Of course you mama-bear!” Tobin reaches out to place her hands in the back pockets of Christen’s jean shorts and pulls her towards her. She kisses her tenderly and murmurs, “So protective. Kinda hot.”

Tobin squeezes her butt appreciatively and Christen quickly steps out of her handsy wife’s grasp, “Oookay,” she breathes out with a chuckle, “Let’s get Benjamin to the game. We wouldn’t want him to be late.” She bends down to grab the bag of fruit snacks and yelps when a hard slap hits her behind.

“That’s so weird, Mama!” Benjamin pulls a face and picks up as many Gatorade bottles as his tiny arms could carry.

“Yeah _Mama_ that’s so weird,” Christen laughs with a shit-eating grin. Tobin grumbles and mutters something like _Please don’t ever call me Mama again_ and carries the two folding chairs. She locks the car and takes Christen’s hand, giving it a loving kiss.

They reach the field and Benjamin’s teammates call him over. Benjamin lights up and immediately drops the Gatorade bottles, eager to warmup with his friends. He starts to run and Tobin calls after him, “Benjamin please don’t run so fast. You’ll trip.”

Benjamin pays no attention to his mother and not even two seconds later, his cleats that were tied by Tobin herself turns loose and he trips.

Christen and Tobin wince comically and Christen is about to go over to check on him when Benjamin pops up with a grin. He sends them a thumbs-up like a little dork and smiles a toothy smile, “I’m good!”

“Yeah, that’s my tough man!” Tobin whistles and pretends to flex her bicep. Benjamin quickly mimics her actions, flexing his tiny arm, and then sprints off to his team.

“I really hope someday a certain _someone_ can learn to tie his shoe correctly,” Christen glares pointedly at her sheepish wife.

“Oh come on, you know you love me,” Tobin coos as she wraps her hand back into Christen’s back pocket. Christen smacks her hand away with a blush, “Tobin! We’re in public! We’re at our son’s soccer game for God’s sake.”

Tobin shrugs and takes her hand, “Worth a try.” They walk past a group of parents who were looking at them with disapproval and distaste. Christen sneers at them as they past _They act like they haven’t seen a gay couple before. Jesus, I didn’t know we lived in the 16th century._

They quickly find a place in the sidelines and set up their folding chairs. Tobin quickly pulls off her hoodie claiming that it got hot and immediately Christen zeroes in on her arms.

“Babe,” Christen groans, “You are so hot.”

Tobin looks a little surprised at her forwardness but then smiles smugly, “Yeah, isn’t that like the reason you married me?”

Christen tears her eyes away from her wife’s muscled figure and swallows thickly, “Pretty much.”

Tobin chuckles and digs through the bag, pulling out a fruit snack. Christen narrows her eyes and asks, “Uh, what do you think you’re doing?”

Tobin waves the snack around like it’s obvious, “Uh, having a snack? I’m famished.”

Staring pointedly at her innocent wife, Christen points at Benjamin’s team who was doing some weird warm-up drill, “These are for the children, baby. Are you a child?”

“Technically,” Tobin pops open the bag with a smirk, “I recall from this morning you called me childish for building a fort with Ben. So yes, I am a child. And that makes you,” she prods Christen’s bare thigh, “a pedophile.”

Tobin bursts out in laughter and ducks to avoid Christen’s swatting hands, “I’m kidding! Chris, chill! I’m kidding!” She quickly pulls the fuming girl into her lap and presses multiple kisses to her cheek. Christen pushes at her and tries to create distance between them but Tobin keeps a tight grip on her.

Christen knows they must look like complete fools, two dorky women in love but she can’t bring herself to care. She enjoys moments like these, moments when Tobin doesn’t hold back her affection and when they can just have fun. However, she manages to keep a blank expression on her face as Tobin pouts at her.

“Are you mad?” Her bottom lip sticks out in a pout and Christen wants to kiss it away. She finally breaks out in a smile and shakes her head, “You are such an idiot sometimes.”

“But I’m your idiot,” Tobin quickly presses another kiss to her lips. Those four words fills up Christen’s heart and the heartfelt smile that spreads across her face says more for her than any word could.

\------------

It’s almost the end of the game and Tobin is on the edge of her seat with happiness. Benjamin had two assists and one goal and okay, sue her for being so excited about a pewee game. All the kids just follow the ball everywhere but she’s just so damn proud of her son.

Christen smiles lovingly at Tobin’s proud smile and gently shakes her knee to get her attention. “Babe,” Tobin’s brown eyes slid over to her green ones, “I have to go use the bathroom.”

“Mkay,” Tobin nods, “Do you know where it is?” Christen nods in affirmative and quickly leaves. Tobin’s eyes follow her, appreciatively observing her red tank and short ripped jean shorts that showed a lot of tanned skin. She whistles and catcalls teasingly, a chuckle bubbling out of her as she sees Christen tense from the teasing.

She starts to turn her attention back to the game but there’s a figure standing in front of her. Tobin looks up and meets the eyes of a pretty blonde who looked no more than 22 years old, beaming at her.

“Uh…” Tobin mutters and tries to crane her neck around the girl to watch the game. The blonde smiles winningly down at her and Tobin sighs inwardly. She plasters on a smile and looks at her, noticing her has blue eyes, “Do you need something?”

The girl leans forward and touches Tobin’s shoulder lightly, “What’s your name?” Tobin immediately dislikes the flirty lilt to her voice and thinks _Wow, girls sure are forward these days._

“Hey look,” Tobin starts.

“Tiffany,” the girl interrupts. Her hand sits heavily on Tobin's bare shoulder and Tobin tries to shake her off.

“Tiffany,” Tobin huffs out in annoyance, “You seem cool and whatever but if this is going down a path where I think it’s going, I gotta tell you-“

“She has a wife,” a cold voice cuts through, “And I would really appreciate it if you took your hands off her.”

Tobin’s eyes widen at the hostility in Christen’s voice but she fist-pumps internally at the save. Tiffany looks affronted and snaps at Christen, “Me and her were having a conversation and it’s rude to interrupt.” She scans Christen’s scowling face and sneers, “Sorry, who are you?”

Christen’s green eyes narrow and Tobin immediately thinks _Oooo, bad mistake. Rule number one, never snap at the boss_.

“I’m her wife, genius. Now, move your stick ass somewhere else and I don’t give a shit where you go, but nowhere near her, me, or my son.”

Surrounding parents had a look of surprise at the harsh words since Christen was known for being really sweet. Some older couples looked a little approving actually, which definitely took Tobin for a turn.

Tiffany looks Christen up and down and then rolls her eyes. Christen stiffens but Tobin quickly grabs her hand in attempt to soothe the fuming woman. Tiffany walks away and Tobin cautiously lowers Christen onto her lap.

"Did you even go to the bathroom?" Tobin questions and Christen shakes her head with a huff.

Her short eyebrows were pinched together in annoyance and Tobin presses a light kiss to her collarbone, “That was sexy,” she murmurs.

Christen grumbles but takes Tobin’s strong hands and wraps them around her waist. They watch the remainder of the game in comfortable silence and when it’s time to hand out the snacks, Tobin whispers, “I love you.”

Christen breaks out into a soft smile and kisses her, “I love you more.”

“Mommy! Mama!” A shrill scream came from the field and Benjamin waves at them furiously, “We need our snacks!”

“Bud,” Tobin calls as the pair starts to walk over, “Do you really need snacks?”

“Snacks! Snacks! Snacks! Snacks!” The sweaty boys chanted. Christen laughs and hands out the fruit snacks quickly, shaking her head affectionately as some boys ask for two (or three).

“Dang honey,” Christen says as she looks into the bag, “You brought enough snacks for a whole city.”

Tobin shrugs with a grin, “That just means more for you and me.” She dodges Christen’s punch ("Why are you being so violent today? I didn't know I married a MMA fighter.") and tosses some Gatorade bottles at the waiting boys. After they passed out all the snacks, the team starts to head home.

Tobin is quick to scoop up Benjamin and spin him around, “Buddy! You did so well today!” She presses a kiss to his forehead as Benjamin yells, “I know! Did you see my goal?”

“Of course! I’m so proud!” Tobin sets him on the ground and picks up the empty bag and folded chairs, “C’mon let’s go home.”

Christen and Tobin each take one of Benjamin’s hands and on every count of three, they swing him up into the air. Tobin pretends to drop the boy on several occasions but the warning look she gets from Christen halts her actions. They quickly pack the car and buckle the tired boy in his car seat, eager to go home and take a nap.

Tobin looks in the rearview mirror and smiles softly at the sight of Benjamin sleeping. He’s out like a light with his mouth dangling wide open and legs splayed out in every direction.

Christen takes her hand that was resting casually on her bare thigh and rubs soothing circles on her palm. “I love you,” she says tenderly, her green eyes filled with adoration.

Tobin presses a soft kiss to her hand and murmurs, “I love you more.” She reaches back to softly rub Benjamin’s foot and says to the sleeping boy, “And I love you most.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall ali and ashlyn's new baby made me write this. i love them so freaking much.  
> kinda surprised how fast i wrote this but i really really loved this. lmk what you think?


	27. grassroots soccer (& a little bit of love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tobin and christen are at grassroots soccer where christen is needy and tobin loves kids.

Tobin raises her arms in celebration and gives a high five to her team. She picks up one of the smaller girls and swings her around joyfully. The childrens’ eyes are lit up like stars in the sky and their smiles are stretched wide over their faces. The little boy who just scored does a jump-spin that Tobin really digs.

Tobin and Christen are in South Africa and volunteering at Grassroots Soccer. They love to play soccer and both agreed that teaching the younger children is something they would love to do. The children here blew Tobin’s mind with their passion for the sport and it breaks her heart knowing that they wouldn’t have the same opportunities as others. So, she’s here to make their dreams of playing soccer a real thing and something about the joy in the childrens’ faces and the fact that she had something to do with it lights a happy fire within.

She cuts eyes at Christen who was watching her celebrate with her team with amused eyes. Her wife looked extraordinarily good today (not that she doesn’t everyday) but Tobin was really loving the tight leggings on toned legs. But really, she loved every part of Christen and spending everyday under the sun with her makes Tobin think she could die happy right now.

Tobin takes her left hand and shoots an L at Christen, sticking her tongue out mockingly at the same time. Christen looked affronted and amused at her childish actions as she throws a thumbs-up. One of the girls on Tobin’s team tugs on the hem of her shorts and Tobin is quick to swoop her up into her arms.

“What’s up bug?” Tobin asks as she sways the tiny child.

“You’re…” her big brown eyes peer at Tobin shyly, “Really tall.”

Tobin chuckles, “Oh really? Am I like a giraffe?”

“No!” She whispered-shouted, “You don’t have a black tongue like they do.”

“Huh, I never noticed. Hey, Chris!” Tobin calls the forward over, “Check this out for me.” She leans into the girl in her arms and whispers, “Watch this.”

Christen walks over and dusts something off her leggings, “What is it, Tobin?”

Tobin sticks her tongue out at Christen and wiggles it, “Is my tongue black?” Her speech is a little garbled from not having full use of her mouth but it causes the little girl to go into hysterics.

Christen gives her a look that said so many things at once that Tobin couldn’t be bothered to read them all. “No, it’s not black.”

Tobin gasps and pokes the laughing girl in the stomach, “So you lied to me?”

“I did not lie! I said you don’t have a black tongue! Can you not understand the words I am saying?!” The girl shrieks between giggles.

Christen rolls her eyes and plucks the girl out of Tobin’s arms, “Sweetie, sometimes, this knucklehead can’t understand the basic words of English. That makes you a whole lot smarter than her.”

The girl nods proudly and Christen gently sets her down on firm ground, “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Hey, I thought I was sweetheart.” Tobin pouts mockingly and pretends to fall to the ground when Christen jabs her in the ribs.

The girl looked unfazed as she replies, “Tamara.” She pats Christen on the knee and grins a toothy grin, “You’re really pretty.”

Christen smiles widely at the compliment and rubs a soothing thumb over Tamara’s hairline, “Thank you, that was very sweet. You’re very pretty as well.” She taps the girl on the head and says, “Why don’t you go along now to your teammates? I bet they miss you.”

Tamara swivels around quickly and sprints off to the ball, her only technique being following the ball wherever it goes. Christen straightens up with a smile and turns to see Tobin grinning at full force.

“What?”

“What yourself?” Tobin replies as she tugs one of Christen’s curls while jogging past.

Christen sighs in mock annoyance and quickly jogs after her yelling, “We’ll beat you this time! I swear!”

“Uh huh, Press, whatever you say.”

\--------------

“Foul!” Christen yells as Tobin lightly pulls on her shirt.

“What?!” Tobin yells back indignantly, “I pulled your shirt, man!”

“Don’t call me man!”

The children stop the ball and stare the two in mild concern. One of the employees shuffles over to the field with confusion but one of the boys stops her saying, “Let them yell it out. It’ll only be a few more minutes and then we can go back to our game.”

The employee looks even more confused and the boy explains further, “They’ve done this a few times already. It’s actually pretty funny.”

“That’s what you get for nutmegging me!”

“It’s a game, Chris! It’s soccer!”

Christen opens her mouth to retort but then she feels a sensation move between her spread calves and she looks down to see Tamara smiling innocently. The soccer ball rolls to Tobin who grins, “Tamara, dude, I’ve taught you so well.”

“Tamara!” Christen coos as she scoops up the girl. Tobin passes the ball to one of her teammates and the game starts up again as Christen shifts Tamara to her hip, “You megged me?! I feel betrayed!”

Tamara giggles and says, “I did it so you guys would stop fighting. It was making me scared.”

“Oh sweetie,” Christen says with a smile, “We weren’t fighting. We were just having fun. She’s so easy to antagonize, isn’t she?”

Tamara nods even though Christen knows full and well she doesn’t know what antagonize meant. Tobin runs past them with a mock-glare, “I heard that, Chris.”

Christen blinks innocently as she sets Tamara down and Tobin narrows her eyes, “You can’t fool me, dude. We’re like, telepathic.”

“I don’t think eavesdropping has anything to do with telepathy. And I swear, call me dude one more time.”

\------------

The day ends faster than Christen would’ve liked but she was rather proud of her teammates, beating Tobin’s team 3 times out of 4. She has to admit that she was feeling rather competitive and gave the children no mercy with her footwork but they kept up well and gave her a run for her money.

She waves goodbye to the departing children, promising to show them how to do a rainbow in their next session. Christen starts to pick up the cones and foldable goals when she hears Tobin say, “You know full and well that you cannot do a rainbow. Why are you making promises you can’t keep?”

Christen rolls her eyes at the teasing voice and replies, “I was planning on having you teach them but with that attitude, I just don’t know.”

Tobin picks up a couple stray soccer balls and flicks one up on her head. She grins at her amused wife and allows it to drop on her foot. “I had a lot of fun today. This is one of my most favorite trips we’ve ever taken.”

Christen softens at that and leans in for a kiss, “I had fun too. I always have fun with you.”

Humming, Tobin pecks her once more and leans back to allow some space, “Let’s pick up the rest of this and then go to the hotel? I’m super exhausted.” She lets out a loud fake yawn to emphasize her point.

“So you’re too exhausted to go down on me tonight?” Christen asks innocently, causing Tobin to choke mid fake-yawn.

“Uh, definitely not. Nope, not tired at all.” Tobin quickly stuffs the balls into the mesh bag with renewed energy and Christen giggles at her enthusiasm. She waves to one of the employees who was leaving for the day and assures them that they would be fine with cleaning up.

Christen feels a light slap to the back and turns in confusion at Tobin’s receding figure. “Did you just pat me on the back?” She asks incredulously.

Tobin halts in her tracks and turns around with a confused expression, “Uh, yeah? I was just going to put up the cones and then we could get going.”

Christen shifts her weight onto one leg, popping her hip out and narrows her eyes at her wife, “Don’t pat me on the back like I’m your friend.” Tobin lets out a laugh but immediately stops as she sees Christen’s raised eyebrow, signaling that she wasn’t amused.

“So needy,” Tobin grumbles as she briskly walks back to her waiting wife. Both of her hands quickly go around her hips to cup Christen’s butt tightly and to pull her flush against her front. Tobin kisses her hard whilst massaging the flesh beneath her hands, Christen eagerly kissing back with happiness. She practically purrs as Tobin slaps her backside and murmurs against her lips, “Have I told you how good you looked today? So, so sexy Chris.”

Christen hums and pulls away to calm her racing heart, “Now, this is more like it.” She takes Tobin’s hand and quickly leads her out of the grounds. They eagerly make their way to the hotel, making it there in record time. (Well, if you minus the ten minutes Tobin spent fawning over a pretty caterpillar on the sidewalk while Christen watches with loving eyes.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys, i have such a huge crush on cp its kinda worrying. out of curiosity, what is yall's favorite one shot i've written so far? would love to hear from you :)


	28. ben the man pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ben the man growing up. i think this was ok?

“Damn babe,” Tobin drawls as she wraps her hands around Christen’s swollen stomach from behind, “How is it that you get hotter every single day?”

Christen shakes her head with a smile as she flips the pancakes and turns off the stove, “Tobin, I feel like an overstuffed sloth with a severe case of BO. Don’t lie to me.” She doesn’t feel even remotely attractive in her Lightning McQueen oversized T-shirt and small boxers but in Tobin’s eyes, she’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

Tobin lets out a laugh in the crook of Christen’s neck and gently rubs circles around her belly, “Okay, but you’re the hottest overstuffed sloth I’ve ever seen.” She gently turns her pouting wife around for a sweet kiss and then gets down on her knees to kiss the swollen belly.

“I’m so excited to see you come into this world, bud.” Tobin whispers as Christen threads her hands through her brown hair, listening intently, “I really hope you like the way I painted your nursey. The walls are light blue with little green turtles and there are some other colorful fish that look the exact same. I gotta be honest, dude, I really don’t know how to paint fish.”

Christen giggles and Tobin is quick to press a kiss to her hand. She continues talking to her wife’s stomach, “And, your mommy bought way too many baby clothes for you. Like seriously? You’re not even going to have a chance to wear them all before she finds it necessary to buy you more.”

She earns a slap on the head and gasps, “Dude, your mommy is also really violent. She doesn’t like to talk things out like a normal person, she likes to resort to her fists.”

Christen pretends to flex and nods her head triumphantly, “Yeah, I mean, look at these guns! Insta-kill baby!”

Tobin grimaces in concern and Christen looks at her pointedly, “What? I do listen whenever you play video games, y’know.”

Grinning, Tobin decides not to correct her and shakes her head. She whispers to her belly, “Okay, I’m pretty sure you gathered that we’re totally weird. But that’s okay, because we love you and we know you’ll love us. Hopefully.”

She kisses the swollen stomach once more and stands up to kiss Christen. “God,” Tobin murmurs lovingly, “I’m so lucky.”

They kiss for a few more minutes “Y’know,” Christen mumbles, “We haven’t even picked out a name yet.”

Tobin pulls away to start the coffee machine, desperately needing the coffee at this early hour in the morning. “Well…” She drawls out, “What’re you thinking, babe?”

Christen flops onto the couch and quickly pulls up a blanket, “Dunno. He’s due in like, three weeks so we better start thinking.”

Tobin gently sits beside her wife and contemplates, “How about Powell?”

Christen gives her an unimpressed look, “Your middle name? Seriously?”

“What!” Tobin cries out indignant as she wraps an arm around Christen, “That’s like, the dopest name out there.”

“Dopest isn’t a word, honey. _The most dope_.”

“What about Donald? Like Donald Trump?”

Tobin deflects the incoming fist, “I’m joking Chris. Geez, went right to physicality. Y’know,” she presses a kiss to Christen’s cheek, “If you really wanted to fight, I would win.”

Christen crows, “Lies!”

“Uh, truths! You got little dude weighing you down.” Tobin immediately holds her hands up with wide eyes as Christen’s nose flares, “And don’t jump to conclusions like I know you would. I’m not calling you fat.”

Christen harrumphs but can’t help the smile breaking out across her face. It’s a natural reaction to Tobin’s silly antics and her goofiness really helps to ignore the fact that her skin itches, her feet ache, and her stomach feels like twenty tons. (She’s really dramatic, but sue her. She’s been carrying Tobin’s child for 8 and a half months, she’s allowed to be dramatic.)

Tobin kisses her forehead and whispers, “How about Benjamin? Ben for short?” All the playfulness has left her voice, signaling Christen that she was serious.

Tapping her nose, Christen runs the name over in her head and nods with a soft smile, “That’s perfect. Benjamin Heath-Press.”

Tobin nuzzles her nose with Christen’s nose and grins, “Perfect.”

\-------------

A guttural scream rips from Christen’s throat as her body shakes violently. The nurses and the doctors in the delivery room gave praise as the baby came out and Tobin was desperately trying not to yell from the tight grip Christen had on her hand.

“Oh my God,” Tobin cries as she kisses Christen’s sweaty forehead, “Baby, you did so well. I’m so proud.” The hospital room was filled with the baby’s shrieks and Christen still feels intense pressure at her skull.

She just grunts back, too exhausted to formulate an answer. A nurse asks Tobin if she would like to cut the umbilical cord, which Tobin nods enthusiastically. The cord is cut and the baby is quickly swaddled into a blanket. The nurse carefully hands him to Tobin, who held him like he was a delicate piece of glass.

Christen started to cry, small whimpers falling from her lips and tears of joy streaming down her sweaty face. She reached out her hand, desperate for Tobin’s touch and comfort. Tobin squeezes and kisses her hand gently, “Chris, baby, he’s beautiful.”

Tobin’s bright brown eyes were shining with joy, adoration, and something close to wonder. She was always awed by her wife, always inspired by her dedication and love to others. And here, after seven hours of labor, Christen gave birth to her baby boy.

“Do you want to hold him?”

Christen nods tiredly and as the bundle was gently placed in her arms which were still hooked with tubes, a loving smile stretched across her face. “My goodness,” she breathes out as the baby continues to cry, “My baby boy. I love you so much.”

The doctor smiles kindly at the couple who was beaming with joy and says, “You three will make a beautiful family. Congratulations.”

Tobin profusely thanks him as one of the nurses helps Christen breastfeed the boy. The room starts to quiet down from the screaming cries and the medical staff leave to give the couple some privacy.

“Sweetheart,” Christen grabs Tobin’s attention which had been previously focused on the newborn being breastfed, “Please give me a kiss.”

Tobin leans over the baby and gives her a heartfelt kiss, “I love you so much. Thank you for bringing him into this world.”

Christen adjusts the baby with a smile and looks down at his peaceful face, “Look at him. Isn’t he perfect?”

Tobin nods, “He is. Our little Benjamin.” She then wiggles her eyebrows at her tired wife, “So, how long will it be till we get another?”

“I literally just finished giving birth not even thirty minutes ago and here you are asking for me to go through this again.” Christen had decided to go with natural birth, no epidural (which meant this birth was the most painful thing she had ever experienced). “The whole giving birth thing really sucked though.”

Tobin grimaces and nods, mental images of Christen in labor floating into mind, “Yeah, that was nasty. I had to hold back my throw-up.” She kisses her lover again and sighed, “You are so incredible.”

“All of these compliments,” Christen laughs tiredly, “Maybe I should give birth more so I can get this much attention.” She gently lifts the sleeping baby up and asks, “Can you please hold him? I’m so tired.”

Tobin quickly grasps the baby in her arms, securing him near her chest. “Rest baby. You deserve it.”

\-----------

Tobin squats down as Christen sets Benjamin down two feet away, “C’mon baby boy, let’s see it!”

Benjamin grins with his gums showing and quickly starts to crawl to his waiting mom. Christen whispers words of encouragement, her glee showing on her face as the boy reaches Tobin.

“Oh my goodness, great job Benji! You’ve gotten so fast!” Tobin coos as she sweeps the boy into her arms and lays out on her back.

“Careful Tobin,” Christen warns as Tobin raises Benjamin into the air.

“Relax Chris, he’s perfectly fine. Right Ben?” Tobin sets the boy on her stomach and takes one of his hands, her voice changing pitch drastically, “Yeah, mom, I’m perfectly a-ok.” She makes both his hands do a weird handshake.

Christen chuckles and sits behind Tobin, lifting her head into her lap, “Babe, don’t ever do that again.”

“What? Impersonating our son?”

“No, making poor Ben listen to your terrible baby voice.” Christen starts to stroke her wife’s hair, gently untangling any knots.

“That’s surprisingly really offending, dude.” Tobin blows a raspberry into the squealing boy’s cheek and grins, “And he really loves me. Maybe more than he loves you.”

“Please,” Christen scoffs as she watches the boy giggle and babble, “I pushed him out of my uterus. He better love me twice as much as you.”

Tobin sits up and wraps Benjamin in her arms, “Benji, my sweet boy, don’t you love me more than that moose over there?”

Christen’s face stills and she quickly stands, several emotions dancing across her features. She walks briskly away, ignoring her wife’s poor attempts of an apology.

“Chris, baby,” Tobin chokes out between laughs, “I’m just kidding.”

The door of their bedroom shuts and Tobin looks at Benjamin with wide eyes, his green eyes mirroring hers, “Uh oh, I think mommy’s mad. You think Mama took it too far?”

The boy babbles and fists his fist in her hair and Tobin winces with a smile, “Yeah, I think I did.” She stands and sits Benjamin on her shoulders, her arms gripping his ankles to secure him. She prances to the room with a giddy smile, opening the door with amusing theatrics.

Tobin spots Christen standing by the floor length mirror, touching her stomach with a frown. Tobin’s smile slips off her face and she quickly sidles up next to her wife whose eyes were stinging with unshed tears.

“Oh no, my love,” Tobin whispers. She frantically places the boy on their bed and occupies him with a toy before she turns her attention back to Christen. She places her hands on her hips and turns her to she could meet her green eyes.

“I was kidding, sweetie. I promise, you look nothing like a moose. If anything, you’re a really freaking cute moose.”

Christen lets out a watery laugh and says, “I know, I’m overreacting. I know you would never intentionally call me fat but lately,” she motions to her body with a self-deprecating laugh, “I feel fat.”

Tobin presses a kiss to her cheek and nose and she murmurs lovingly, “Baby, you are the sexiest human alive, I swear on it. Yes, you may not look the same as before but a baby does change your body in some ways. I mean look,” she gestures to the happy boy wrestling with a stuffed turtle, “You _created_ him. My wonderful, beautiful wife.”

She kisses Christen’s closed eyelids and wipes away her tears, “I’m sorry for calling you a moose. That was never my intention to make you feel this way.” Tobin felt absolutely terrible for calling Christen after an animal, a moose for Christ’s sake. She really needs to be more creative.

Christen kisses Tobin’s lips reassuringly, “No, I promise it’s not you. I like you calling me sweet names and moose is cute. I’ve just been feeling this way for a bit and I don’t think it’ll fully go away.”

Benjamin squeals loudly, grabbing both of their attentions. Tobin squeezes her hips one last time before kissing her again. “I love you.”

“And I love you, moose.”

\-------------

“Ben! Please smile so we don’t be late!”

Benjamin groans and plasters on a fake smile. Tobin winces comically behind Christen’s camera and says, “Bud, try not to look like you’re in pain.”

“But I am, mama.” Benjamin finally gives a real smile, his toothy grin on full display. Christen coos over the picture and wraps the boy into a hug, not releasing him until Benjamin started to squirm.

Tobin ruffles his curly hair and dodges Christen’s swatting hand (“Don’t ruin his hair! That took me forever to tame!) and says affectionately, “Dude, you’re so dramatic. I wonder where you get that from.” She cuts eyes at her wife who smiled innocently.

Benjamin just grins and does a little spin, “How do I look mothers?”

Tobin whistles and points finger guns at her son, “Smokin’ hot! You gonna get all the ladies huh?”

The boy scrunches his nose and says, “Ew girls are gross.” Tobin bursts out in laughter, doubling over because her son was so dang funny.

Christen hurriedly checks through his Batman backpack, making sure he has all he needs for school that day (“Chris, chill, I promise the only thing they’re doing today is absolutely nothing. With a little bit of nothing during their free time.”) Benjamin is directed to the kitchen table where a stack of mini pancakes (prepared by yours truly), a bowl of strawberries, and a small dish of whipped cream awaits. The boy quickly scarfs down the food and Christen chides, “Slow down, son. The food isn’t going anywhere.”

“How do you know that mommy? How would you know if pancakes don't secretly have legs and could walk off when we're not looking?” Benjamin asks with a shit-eating grin. He starts to eat in slow motion and Tobin secretly approves, giving the boy a high-five. Christen sighs and glares at her sheepish wife and says, “It’s so weird that Ben looks like me, yet he acts just like you.”

“And what do I act like?” Tobin waits for the words _charming_ and _irresistibly cute_ but is instead met with, “A child.”

Tobin scoffs indignantly and holds up her hand with a huff, “I’m so done with you, Press.”

Benjamin holds up his hand too, mimicking his mother with whipped cream smeared over his face. Christen cleans off his face and takes his empty plate to the sink with instructions for Benjamin to get ready.

After he puts on his baby blue Jordan’s that Tobin insisted on buying for him, Benjamin starts to jump up and down, prompting Tobin to follow his actions (“Proving my point,” Christen says with an eye roll). “I’m so excited mama!” He yells, “I get to go to school and make new friends and color animals and eat lunch from my SpongeBob lunchbox and-“

“Whoa, bud, slow your roll,” Tobin chuckles as she takes one of his hands. Christen quickly takes the other and they start to walk to school. Benjamin’s green eyes were shining with excitement as he continues to chat excitedly. Christen’s own starts to tear up but she’s able to hold it in for the rest of the walk. However, as the boy waves goodbye and sprints into school, she starts to cry.

“Babe, wha-?” Christen tackles Tobin is a bear hug and Tobin barely catches her just in time. “What’s wrong?”

“He’s so big now,” Christen cries, her body shuddering, “He's growing up so fast. Next thing I know, he’ll be in middle school, high school, then college and-“

Tobin quickly steers the panicking mother away from curious bystanders and hugs her tightly, “Oh honey, I know. He’s starting first day in kindergarten, any mother would be sad, terrified, and slightly maniacal.” Christen punches her arm with a wet chuckle, “But it’s okay. Don’t worry, he’ll still be our little boy. And he will be for a long, long time.”

Christen wipes away her tears with a laugh, “God, I’m such a mess. I just love him so much.” Tobin chuckles and swings her arm around her wife, kissing her cheek quickly.

“Dude,” Tobin starts empathetically and smirks at the look Christen throws her, “You are so freaking adorable.” Christen scrunches her nose up and asks with innocent eyes, “Am I adorable enough to convince you to go get ice cream?”

“Like an ice cream date?” Tobin perks up at the sound of sugar. Christen nods and laughs at her wife’s childlike enthusiasm, “Yes, sweetheart, an ice cream date.”

“Well,” Tobin scoops up Christen bridal style causing the woman to yelp, “On delay! Quickly! We must go!”

“Let’s refrain talking about this to Ben. We don’t want to make him mad.” Christen says.

“That’s literally my job babe. I was born to get on his nerves.”

“And mine.”

\------------

“Babe do you think I can knock somebody out with this punch?” Christen turns and is quickly met with the sight of Tobin pretending to punch Benjamin. The two were in their boxing stance and Tobin was throwing air punches and uppercuts at her son who couldn’t hold back his giggles.

“Uh, you’ll definitely have them running away that’s for sure.” Christen says as Tobin screws up her face in her ‘kickass’ face (which makes her look constipated and angry at the same time.) Christen brings her hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh as Tobin dramatically yells and gently tackles Benjamin onto the couch.

“Ha!” Tobin yells in the 7 year old’s face, “I beat you!”

Benjamin gasps and yells back, “No you didn’t! I wasn’t even trying!”

Tobin waves her hand around with finality, “Excuses! Admit it, I’m the beast.”

The boy wiggles out from her mother and runs to his room. Tobin just shrugs with a grin and shuffles over to her amused wife. “Damn, I’m such a badass.”

Christen scoffs and turns back to the stove, “You sure are, honey.” Two strong hands wrap around her waist as Tobin tucks her face into Christen’s neck. She murmurs, “But you’re like, the baddest of the badasses. Cuz you’re so goddamn cool.”

“What a compliment!” Christen crows as she stirs the vegetables, “If your young charming self could see you now!”

Tobin huffs and squeezes her hip tighter, “I am young and I am charming!”

Christen hums, clearly sending a message to Tobin that she was indeed not young and not charming. Tobin rolls her eyes and backs away while saying, “The words that come out of your mouth woman, are like knives to my heart.”

“So you’re a poet now, huh?” Tobin doesn’t have time to retort before she feels multiple stings to her back.

“What the… FU-“

“TOBIN!”

“OW!” Tobin winces in pain each time a foam bullet hits her, the initial shock fading quickly. She sees Benjamin grinning as he shoots his mother and she is quick with the dramatics. (“You should be an actress, Tobs.” Christen said a while back and Tobin replies, “I know right?! Imagine what our life would be like!”)

Benjamin is howling with laughter as he sprays bullets on Tobin, who was rolling around the floor in fake agony. The bullets become too much though and Tobin quickly dives behind Christen to shield herself.

“SERIOUSLY?” Christen yells as she starts to get shot, “You’re using me as your human shield?!”

“I gotta protect my precious face!”

“Oh after this, your face won’t be precious anymore!”

“Is that a threat?”

Benjamin yells, “Mommy, _your_ face is ugly!”

Christen and Tobin pause their bickering and turn to their grinning son. They look at each other once and start to sprint towards the boy. Benjamin shrieks and tries to make a run for it but Tobin is quick to swoop him up and tickle his feet.

“You’re calling me ugly?! Your mother?! I’m offended!” Tobin teases as the boy writhes in her arms. Benjamin is laughing so hard he can’t get any words out and Christen is quick to join the tickle fest.

“Stop!” Benjamin shrieks, “S-Stop! It tickles!”

“No shit,” Tobin deadpans as she finally lets him go. Christen hits her upside the head for her language and then smiles down at her son, “Good job, son. Way to break the truth to your mom.”

“I’m not ugly!” Silence follows.

“…Right?”

Christen and Benjamin look at each other and bursts out in laughter.

(Even though Tobin fake-scowls and fends off Christen’s kisses, her heart is filled to the brim with happiness because she loves her family so much and she can’t believe how lucky she’s gotten.)

\-----------

Tobin has finally cleaned up the last of confetti from the living room and is quick to join Christen and Benjamin on the couch. They just hosted his 10th birthday party and halfway through it, Tobin was starting to regret inviting so many kids. (“Honestly, why do they have to scream every waking second?” Tobin grumbles as yet another child shrieks in the yard.)

“Benny! My man!” Tobin flops next to her son and ruffles his curly hair, “You’re double digits now! How are you feeling?”

Benjamin sighs dramatically and grins widely at his mothers while saying, “I’m a decade old now! That’s so cool!”

Tobin nods happily as Benjamin taps his chin, clearly mulling something over. “That makes you… almost a century old?”

Christen bursts into laughter and rubs Benjamin’s knee, “Yes, honey, exactly.”

Tobin narrows her eyes at her laughing wife but decides not to comment. “Buddy, a century is 100 years. Do I look like I can even survive to be 100?”

Benjamin just shrugs and then his green eyes light up in curiosity, “How did you guys meet? I’ve always wanted to know because Alex told me his dad met his mom at an aquarium and he bought her a stuffed orca whale!”

Tobin coughs, a blush staining her cheeks as she remembers their ‘meet-cute’ if you could even call it that. “Uh,” She fumbles, “We met at soccer camp. For… the… team?”

Benjamin nods like he accepts the lame-ass answer and yawns, the events of the day catching up to him. Christen kisses his head and murmurs, “Honey, why don’t you go take a shower so that you’ll be ready for bed.”

He agrees with a sleepy nod and heads off to his bedroom to shower. As soon as the door closes, Christen turns to Tobin with a mischievous look.

Tobin raises a confused eyebrow and says, “What?”

Christen quickly climbs over a few throw pillows and straddles Tobin’s hips, her hands wrapping around the nape of Tobin’s neck. Tobin quickly grips her wife’s hips, confused on what’s happening at the moment.

“Hm, I do wonder,” Christen purrs, “If you remember how we met. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t at a soccer camp.”

Tobin blushes beet red and looks away with a shy smile, “Oh I definitely do. You looking so sexy at the bar, all alone.” She runs her hands over Christen’s lower back until they rest heavily on her butt, Christen subtly grinding her hips downward. “You were so beautiful. You _are_ so beautiful.”

“Mhm,” Christen hums as she smiles sultrily at her starry-eyed wife, “You brought all your bad pickup lines and horrible jokes but it was oddly charming. It didn’t hurt that you were fine as hell.” Tobin smiles smugly at her words, “So you thought I was fine as hell?”

Christen kisses Tobin hard, hands fisting in Tobin’s long brown hair. Tobin’s hands eagerly roam around. They make-out for a while longer, their actions border lining sexy times when Benjamin’s bedroom door opens.

Christen flies off of Tobin’s lap but not quickly enough because Benjamin asks with wide eyes, “What were you guys doing?”

Christen blushes heavily and smooths out her hair and clothes. Tobin replies easily, “Playing rock, paper, scissors dude what did it look like we were doing?” Tobin doesn’t give him a chance to answer before she continues, “Come on! You get to choose the movie since you’re the birthday boy!”

“Can we watch Happy Feet Two?”

“Oh my God, anything but that. ANYTHING BUT THAT!”

“Calm down, Tobin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope i did this prompt justice. i thought i was being a little funny in here but idk, im not a funny person. sorry it took so long to get this out, ive been busy with school. lmk what you think?  
> also- please remember you're beautiful in and out :) it breaks my heart when people don't feel beautiful bc of society standards. && remember than BLM and Asian hate is not okay.


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